Thick Carolina heat snuck under the doors and the windows overnight, greeting me in the morning with a sheen of sweat coating my skin. my arms and legs clinging to the bedsheets. The temperature always spiked in June, sparking a chain reaction of short shorts and chopped hair. It's timing however had always been unpredictable The heat of the south was known for it's sneaky nature, catching far too many off guard. Sometimes in life, there are somethings you're never ready for, no matter how prepared you think you are.

I knew that better than anyone.

The weekend passed both quickly and painfully slow. Between stewing over my conversation with Ryan, a lack of conversation with Harry and too much conversation with Mom, my desire to be alone only returned. People had become to complicated and my feelings too fragile.

While it was easy for my to avoid Ryan and Mom for a while, I didn't have those privileges when it came to Harry. Tuesday had arrived too soon and he would be home again ready to give me the cold shoulder or worse, start a new fight between us. Harry's homecoming and the sweltering heat made the day seem dreadful before it had even started.

I slammed my hand against the alarm clock a total of five times. I had no food runs and as tempting as staying in bed seemed, I knew I'd have nothing to do but sit around and wait for Harry. As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, the sight of a pair of yoga pants draped over the hamper instantly reminded me of my neglect for pilates. I'd promised myself I wouldn't let pregnancy stop me from my normal fitness routine and it was the perfect motivation for getting out of bed.

The baby and I could both use some exercise.

"River!"

The high pitched southern drawl that usually annoyed me was surprisingly pleasant to hear.
After the kindness she's showed during my fit of morning sickness, I'd completely misjudged Hannah. Maybe she was the type of person I needed in my support group right now: positive and genuine and nonjudgemental. A steady ally in the mixed circle of attitudes towards the new change in my life.

I grin kicking off my sandals and placing my bag in one of the cubbies along the wall.

"I thought you'd quit." Hannah smiles brightly, stretching on the balls of her feet.

"I just needed some extra time to figure things out." I place my mat on the floor next to hers. "I really have to thank you for your talk the last time. You were right."

"No problem." she grins. "So how far along are you? I can already see a bit of a bump."

I glance at my tiny bump that's more visible than usual under the spandex of my tank top. Any other time I'd just throw on one of my sports bras and go but as the bump grew, the more I felt modestly was necessary. I didn't feel completely comfortable exposing my bare bump to random strangers. It felt far too intimate.

"Sixteen going on seventeen weeks," I answer, my eyes widening in the realization that I'm nearly four months pregnant.

" Aww," she squeals. "a few more weeks and you'll get to know what color to paint the nursery. By the way you're carrying, I reckon you're having a boy."

I chew at the corner of my lip, eyebrows furrowing slightly. I'd never thought about what the gender of the baby could be. I had no preference, a baby was a baby to me.

"Why do you say that? "

Hannah grins.

"Have you looked in the mirror, River? You're gorgeous. Not like you've ever not been gorgeous to me but pregnancy has faired you well. Your skin is flawless and your hair looks like it belongs in a Pantene commercial. I would have killed to look like you when I was pregnant with Bristol. A little girl will turn you from hot to not in a second."

I couldn't really disagree that pregnancy had a few perks. I was certainly enjoying the volume and shine of my hair these days. After all my suffering so far I deserved some sort of compensation.

I chuckle.

"I'm sure you looked great, Hannah. Those are just myths. There's no way you can predict what gender the baby is by the way a mother looks. Every woman is different." I reply, tugging at the hair tie of my tight ponytail.

Her grin only widens, a mischievous twinkle in her big brown eyes.

"If you're having a girl, I'll be so jealous."

For the rest of the workout I find myself in a daze thinking about the baby boy or girl I'll get to call my own in a few months.

By the time class ended I was starving and sweating and not looking forward to going back to an empty home. While most of the class had cleared out, Hannah and I were amongst the few that still lingered. The idea struck me as I stuffed my mat into my bag.

"Are you doing anything after this?" I ask slowly.

It felt weird asking Hannah to hang out with me when I'd politely avoided her for almost a year.

She grins, patting her damp face with one of the soft, white gym towels.

"I don't have to pick up Bristol from nursery until one. It's scorching but it's a nice day to grab some brunch," she replies.

I grin.

"I know a really great spot."
*****
"She's precious," I cooed as I swiped through Hannah's photo roll that was completely full of pictures of her little girl.

Bristol had inherited her mother's big brown eyes and obvious optimism, never failing to flash her set of tiny white teeth in every picture. It made me wonder who the little bean in my stomach would take after. Would they be Harry's twin or my own little mini-me? Maybe they'd be a nice balance between the two of us. The idea that both of our genes had meshed together to create a new human being was still so unfathomable.

"She's my world," she replies with a bright smile as she cuts into a piece of her quiche. "It was hell getting her here- twenty hours of labor, all natural, no epidural- but it was worth it."

My ears perked at the mention of labor as I popped a piece of mango in my mouth.

"Twenty hours?"

Regardless of how hot it was outside, goosebumps had managed to rise on my arms at the thought of how long and painful the process was and I have to take a deep breath.

Hannah nods, a small smile on her lips as she reaches for her glass of ice tea.

"It was torture but I was prepared. Lamaze really helped."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What's Lamaze?"

Her brown eyes widen in surprise.

"It's only the most popular childbirth option. I would have died if I didn't go to those classes. You are planning on attending some classes, right?"

I swallowed a piece of chicken, the familiar guilt washing over me. Everyone around me seemed more prepared for my pregnancy than I was.

"Not really, no. " I admit slowly. "My husband and I haven't really talked anything through yet. He's super busy."

Part of me loved the privacy in which I treated my marriage when speaking with others but another part of me wished there was someone I could confide in.

Hannah flashes a sympathetic smile.

"I can help you look at some options. I can even go to class with you if your hubby can't make it."

Maybe I'd revealed too much. I'd always been the independent type, the girl that had it all together. Other people didn't help me, I helped them.

"I really don't want to be any trouble, Hannah. You've got your own little girl and-"

"Nonsense." she interrupts. "I'd be happy to help. I'll think of it as a refresher course. There's no telling if and when I'll be pregnant again."

I bite the corner of my lip to hide my grin.

Sometimes the journey is a little bit easier when you take it with someone who's walked the path before.
*****
The heat had managed to rush me off to bed early that night. The fans were set on high and the duvet had been snatched off the bed but the heat had still managed to annoy me. To most I was probably over exaggerating but being fairly pregnant with raging hormones made temperatures feel different to me. The further the summer progressed, the hotter it would get and I'd be more miserable than ever trying to brave the heat with my bump.

When I'd finally had enough of tossing and turning I stripped out of my pajamas and into a thin silk robe that felt cool enough for sleeping. I'd hardly realized I'd dozed off when the sound of the doorknob turning shook me awake.

"Riv," That deep voice I wasn't sure I wanted to hear feels the room.

It's impossible to make out his whereabouts until he flicks on a lamp near the bed.

"Harry?" I croak, blinking my eyes to adjust to the new lighting in the bedroom.

I notice his luggage sitting by the door and the small grin on his lips as he hovers above me. I reach out to touch his face, my hand brushing against his new stubble. I was completely unprepared for his arrival, failing to pull out the stops with dinner like I usually did. It had all slipped my mind. Pregnancy makes you forget things so I'm told.

"Hi, darling. I made it back."

The mattress dips with his weight and I sit up, slowly crawling onto his lap pulling him into a kiss. His lips are warm and inviting like he's never been mad at all. It's moments like these when I'm reminded just how amazing kissing him feels. He wraps his arms around me, placing light kisses along my neck.

"I missed you so much," he whispers against my skin, causing my eyes to snap open in surprise.

His behavior the whole time he was away said otherwise.

"Yeah?" I hum.

"Umhmm," his hands travel down to my abdomen gently pressing against the tiny little bump under my robe. "you and our little gumdrop."

My heart flutters at the term of endearment and I weave my fingers in his curls, a wide grin stretching across my lips. All the pent-up aggression I'd felt towards him had completely managed to melt away.

" Baby Styles is much bigger than a gumdrop now." I laugh. " they're actually the size of an avocado. And they can hear now."

Harry grins, dimples denting his cheeks as he stares down at my bump.

"Grew up on me while I was gone, huh little bugger?"

I bite the corner of my lip feeling my cheeks burning a sheepish tint.

"I made risotto yesterday. Do you feel like eating? I can heat up the leftovers,"

"No," he drawls, leaning in to press a kiss to my mouth. "I just remembered; I got somethin' for you. Well, maybe more like a little someone."

He tears away from me to rummage through his luggage eventually retrieving a plain, white box which he extends to me. A small grin settles on my lips as I tear away at the taped sides and tissue paper. My hand comes in contact with the softest material, a soft gasp leaving my mouth.

"It's the baby's first blanket," Harry explains, sitting on the edge of the bed once more. "I figured once it's born we can get it monogrammed with its name."

I hop from my spot on the bed, excitedly pulling the creme colored blanket out of the box and gently brushing it against my cheek.

"It's cashmere," I sigh. "Oh, Harry, it's beautiful but you didn't have to spend so much."

He grins.

"Why not? Our baby deserves the very best."

I already feel the tears burning in my eyes only this time they're tears of joy. I place the opened box on the nightstand before sauntering back over to him.

"I love it," I exclaim, draping my arms around his neck. "and I love you."

I can hardly contain myself, pressing kisses along his face and jaw until I capture his lips. They start out gentle and chaste, like the kisses we'd shared on our first few dates-nervous and clumsy kids that were still getting to know each other- but soon grow into the bold and breathless kisses of the present. Suddenly the heat isn't so bothersome.

"I think you deserve a very nice welcome home gift," I murmur against his lips.

A knowing smirk settles on his lips, hands already toying with the sash of my robe. I let out a soft moan at the sensation of his large hands against my skin and Harry hums in satisfaction upon realizing I'd neglected wearing any undergarment under the satin fabric. He pulls his mouth away from me to redirect his attention to my bare shoulder. He's lavashious yet playful, making sure to graze his teeth and tongue against my clavicles. I can hardly control my breathing as his lips make their way to my neck, my robe gently sliding its way down my arms and waist and a familiar warmth rushes from my head to toes.

I tug at the hem of his shirt, wanting to feel his skin.

"Let's go to bed, babe."

I nod in agreement, knowing that we'll be doing anything but sleeping. He sits on the edge of the bed, kicking off his shoes. I take the opportunity to straddle him, connecting our lips once more. No matter how crazy he drove me, I could never tire of kissing him.

His hands travel the length of my skin, up my back and down my thighs as his mouth opens and closes against mine. I was sure I could stay like this for the night but I knew we both wanted more.

"I couldn't wait to get off the plane," he rasp. "couldn't stop thinking about touching you."

Harry tosses his shirt over his head, giving me the chance to roam my hands over his strong chest. I can already feel him underneath me but before I can grab the gold he flips us over.

He practically unstoppable, having wiggled out of his jeans and boxers in record time. Gently and expertly he pries my legs apart, his hand moving between us to brush a thumb against the bundle of nerves that's been begging for his attention. My eyes squeeze shut in bliss but I can hardly ignore the pressure on my back thanks to the added weight of my uterus. Still, his fingers and the sight of his length serves as a nice yet temporary distraction from my discomfort.

"Harry- fuck! Oh, Harry."

My vocal satisfaction has certainly fed is ego, the wide, dimpled grin on his face a clear indication.

"So ready for me, love." he leans down to pepper a kiss against the tops of my breast. "Gonna fuck you so good."

The words have little effect in this position.

"Harry," I wince. "Harry, I can't."

His face drops and his eyebrows settle into a deep furrow.

"What do you mean you can't?"

I bite the corner of my swollen lip, inhaling deeply and hoping I haven't ruined the mood.

"It's not you, I promise. It's my back. This isn't comfortable." I speak gesturing between us.

His eyebrows raise.

"I think I get it. So?"

"So, let me ride you."

Harry had always been the dominant one in the bedroom. It was only natural in the beginning, me being the inexperienced virgin in the relationship. The more years that passed and the more familiar we became with each other's bodies created a routine between us. He led, I followed.

My moments of taking the wheel had been few and far between.

The smirk returns.

"I quite like this plot twist."

We switch positions once more and the view couldn't be better. The sight of Harry under me, swollen lipped and bed-headed is enough to make me come undone right there. I smirk down at him. running a hand down his chest until I reach his navel.

"Fuck," he draws in a deep breath once my fingers wrap around his length, his eyes squeezing shut in pleasure.

I suddenly feel bold.

"Open your eyes, Harry," I speak with a long, slow stroke. "I want you to look at me."

He groans lowly, fastening his hands to my hips.

"Fuck, River. I need you."

Knowing that he's grown just as restless, I position myself to align with him. We both hardly manage to contain ourselves, sighing loudly once our hips meet. My head is a haze of decadent passion as our bodies fall into a natural rhythm. His hands trail up and down my body as I roll my hips against his, ragged breaths and whispered names passing from our lips.
It's not long before I lose it, the strong sensation of release racks my body and I steady my palms against Harry's chest, gasping in pleasure. Breathless and dizzy, I rock backwards and forwards until Harry finds his own release. Grunting with satisfaction he pulls me in for an open mouth kiss.

"You were incredible,"

I smile weakly, easing myself off of him to retreat under the sheets. I lie on my side to face him, connecting our lips once more.

"Welcome home." I breathe.

A dimpled grin settles on his lips and he reaches over, brushing a hand over my stomach. It's moments like these that make all the fussing and fighting worthwhile, even if I know it won't be long before I change my mind.

"I really- I really needed this." he rasps.

I don't really have a reply, knowing that I've probably contributed to whatever stress he'd needed to release. Suddenly the thing I know should've said a while ago burns at the tip of my tongue.

"I'm sorry."

His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he reaches to push the fallen hair from my face.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," I repeat, biting the corner of my lip "for suggesting therapy. I shouldn't have."

Apologizing sounds stupid and trite when I know I'm right but I'd rather take the blame and clear the air between us. Through the years I'd learned to swallow my pride and overcompensate for the humility Harry often lacked. Ali MacGraw had been wrong when she choked out that famous line in Love Story. Real, unscripted love means apologizing a million times if you have to.

"Don't ruin a perfect night, River Dawn." he sighs, pulling me closer.

I'm not sure if I should be happy that he's letting this go so easily or concerned. Trusting him had become so complicated. My head often said one thing but my heart knew the truth.

"You wouldn't talk to me," I continue. "I know you were mad. So I'm sorry."

He presses his mouth to mine, a kind way for telling me to shut up.

"Let's shower," he drawls against my lips. "I need to wash off this flight."

I watch him slip out of bed in a daze, a sinking feeling settling in my chest.

Let it go, River. You've just had mind-blowing sex with your husband. Everything is fine. Stop overanalyzing before you fuck it up again.

"Coming, darling?"

His deep voice startles me, snatching me from my thoughts. His eyebrows rise in anticipation, his hair a mess as he pokes his head through the door.

I hate being like this: anxious, insecure and pessimistic. I just couldn't help myself. All my life I'd been searching for some sort of approval, some sort of assurance. Being with Harry had made all those feelings go away at once but for the past year they'd only come back stronger. Adding a baby to the mix made the anxiety almost unbearable.

I force a grin, untangling myself from the sheets.

"Is this your way of getting another round out of me?"

He smirks, those dimples that I love so much making their appearance.

"Come in and you'll find out. "

I just want everything to be okay, even if it's just for tonight.

Notes

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak

Hiya! I'm back with another chapter that I unfortunately can't say is really anything other than a filler chapter. I apologize in advance if it was horrible. Please let me know if I'm missing the mark here.

Just a few points to ponder: Will River ever make up with Ryan? Is she making the right move my embracing Hannah into her support group? Do you think her mom will feel offended that she's consulting someone else? Is Hannah right with her prediction that baby Styles is a boy? Any gender predictions from you all?

Now to the real action: Why do you think Harry is acting so sweet? Has he really let go of River's marriage counselling idea? Do you think it was necessary for River to apologize? Do you think she'll bring it up again or that Harry will be open to it? Why is she so insecure about her marriage and should she see someone herself?

Sorry for all the questions I just love to here what you think!

My summer vacation is slowly dwindling down and as hard as it is to get updates out sometimes, I will do my hardest to bring you all my best chapters until I start the semester again. I'm going into my senior year of college so I'm kind of expecting it to be challenging. It won't stop me from writing though!

Well, that's all for now! Harry and River will be finding out the gender of the baby soon which will be exciting and there's much more angst to come. Thank you all for reading and feel free to leave a little review!

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