Crossroads

"Twelve bookings in one week. Joy,"

I stuffed a piece of watermelon in my mouth sighing deeply as I stared at my calendar of events, a feeling of dread knotting in my stomach. I'd managed to book two food runs each day until Saturday next week. Summer and winter holidays were always my busiest times of business but it all seemed outrageous now. Between the birthdays, baby showers and cookouts I'd barely have time to blink or breathe.

Normally this kind of pressure wouldn't bother me. I'd worked under the demanding pressure of nightly dinner rushes when I was a sous chef back in New York but things were different now. I was younger, had a team of workers to back me up and a loving, long-haired boyfriend to rub my aching feet when my shift was over. Now I was trying to run a business all by myself with a growing baby between my hips and I've got a husband who's hardly home.

Since our passionate homecoming celebration, things returned to normal for Harry and I. He was back to being in and out of the office and as much as that would usually bother me, I was too stressed and too tired to care. I was just thankful we hadn't been fighting.

I pushed myself away from the kitchen table, padding over to the refrigerator to assess its contents. I would be making a hummingbird cake tomorrow and didn't feel like going grocery shopping. I was hoping to have already stowed away some ingredients.

My eye catches sight of the thirteen-week ultrasound Harry had but on the refrigerator and I smile to myself remembering my twenty-week appointment. We would be finally able to determine the gender of the little bean. It would be exciting to see how much the baby had grown since the last ultrasound and equally exciting to know if we'd have a son or a daughter. However, Harry and I had yet to come to an agreement if finding out the gender was something we both wanted.

I frowned as my eyes scanned the fridge, a large portion of it occupied by my obsession with fruit. Grocery shopping would be inevitable with all the food runs I'd have next week but it was still so hot.

I scratched my protruding belly as I trudged upstairs to retrieve my purse and some suitable shoes. I didn't really feel like dressing up just to head to the supermarket, one of Harry's old t-shirts and a pair of yoga pants I'd put on this morning would serve me fine. Just before I could reach the bedroom, the doorbell rang, inviting another sigh to pass through my lips.

I slowly make my way back downstairs, taking in a deep breath as I approach the door. Craning my neck to look through the peephole, I'm not sure if I should be happy or annoyed to see my mother's face staring back at me.

"Hi sweetheart!" she greets. "I was just in the neighborhood and I thought I'd stop by. The yard looks amazing! Did you just plant those rosebushes?"

I force a smile, highly suspicious of my mother's motives. There's just no way she was randomly around the neighborhood on a Friday afternoon. She'd stopped by to check on me. Her enthusiasm and protectiveness over her unborn grandchild could not be easily disguised. And those rosebushes were there the last time she was over.

"Hi, Mom. C'mon in."

With just the door cracked, the heat had managed to agitate me. She steps over the threshold with a smile, perching her sunglasses on top of her head.

"I wasn't interrupting anything, was I?" she asks.

I shake my head, pushing a tendril that managed to escape from my bun away from my sweaty face.

"I was just about to head to the grocery store for a few items I need for some orders next week. I need to make a grocery list anyhow before I leave, otherwise, my mind will go blank once I arrive at the store."

Her footsteps follow me into the kitchen, the heels of her wedges clacking against the hardwood floor.

"Ahh, pregnancy brain," she chuckles before making herself comfortable at the kitchen table. "That was never fun. So how do you feel? Have you eaten today?"

Her gaze falls down to my bump and I almost roll my eyes knowing that was the intended question.

"Yes, I just had some fruit. " I draw in a deep breath. "I'm a little tired and hot but I'm fine."

I scratch at my bump again, sighing in aggravation. My belly had grown noticeably larger throughout the week making it more obvious than ever before. I was officially unquestionably pregnant. Others could finally spot what was blooming between my hips. But along with that growth came an almost absurd amount of itchiness and annoying backaches.

Mom chuckles again.

"Fruit is not enough, River. You need to eat some lunch."

I was feeling more hungry than usual lately, my appetite almost out of control. I wasn't sure if it was normal or not but I was trying my best not to eat everything and the kitchen sink.

I can feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I retrieve a notepad from one of the drawers beneath the cupboard.

"I already had lunch,"

"Well, have a second lunch. You're eating for two now."

Eating for two. The expression strikes me when I realize that my unborn baby relies on me for its nutrition. Everything I eat, they eat too. The realization that I was housing life in my womb never failed to stun me no matter how far along I got.

"Eating for two makes the baby weight harder to lose," I quip. "But the chicken alfredo I made Wednesday taste like heaven so I'll bite. Harry didn't eat too much and there's still a ton left in the fridge. We can split it, have our own little lunch date here."

She grins.

"Great idea."

I was sure I'd never leave the house now as I sat at the kitchen table with my mom, stuffing my face with leftover past and guzzling down mint lemonade. I'd managed to forget about the busy week ahead of me if only just for a while.

"So, do you and Harry know the gender of the baby and you're just keeping it from us?" Mom asks, twirling a noodle around her fork.

I wipe the corner of my mouth, taking in a deep breath.

"If we were keeping it a surprise you wouldn't get any answers out of me. And no, we don't. My doctor doesn't do definitive gender reveals until the twenty-week ultrasound."

She raises an eyebrow.

"I found out I was having a little girl at sixteen weeks. But since you don't know and no one else does, I was thinking we could have a gender reveal party."

And there she goes.

I shake my head, chewing at the corner of my lip.

"I'm not having a gender reveal party, Mom. It's a waste. Why have a gender reveal party when the baby shower will be themed to fit the gender? Besides, I'm not even sure if Harry wants to find out what we're having."

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, a look of worry settling on her face.

"You haven't talked about this yet?" she chuckles slightly. "Are you two just gonna sit around and wait until the baby comes and then prepare like you're supposed to?"

I suddenly find my annoyance returning. By the way she speaks, she makes Harry and I seem like the least caring parents-to-be on the planet.

"Harry is busy, Mom. Hell, I'm busy. I'm up to my ears in orders next. We don't always have time to sit down and discuss, things. That's just the way it is."

The tears sting the corner of my eyes as I speak and I try not to get too upset.

She sighs, her expression softening.

"River, sweetie, that's no excuse. It only takes a few minutes a day to sit down and chat. Harry spends so much time at that goddamned job you'd think he was married to it instead of you. He should never be too busy for his wife, especially at a time like this."

I know my mother is right and that I can't refute her. I'd been complaining about Harry's absence for years and as much as I want to agree with her I know it would only lead to having to admit that my marriage was not as good as I pretended it was. I knew I could always confide in Mom about anything but as my life gradually became separate from hers I felt that I should keep certain things to myself. I was a grown, married and pregnant woman now. There are some things better left unsaid.

"Mom, we'll figure it out, okay?"

While she'd normally flash me a stern but well-meaning glare, something about her expression is different. Her slightly aged face softens and her blue eyes shine with a look I hate- sympathy.
Mom reaches over to smooth my flyaways the corner of her lips turning into a small smile.

"Let's at least have a dinner then?"

"Mom, no." I huff. "There's no need to make a big fuss over a baby's genitals. I don't care what we're having I just care about them getting here."

Her lips purse into a thin line and I figure she realizes that she won't be winning this argument.

"Very well. Since you're so adamant about this I'll cancel the reservation Adele made in the banquet hall."

I trap my lip between my teeth, a slight gasp escaping me.

"You already reserved a room?"

Mom shrugs.

"I'm excited."

I can't help but laugh.

"This baby is going to be so spoiled."
*****
My visit with Mom stuck with me throughout the rest of the afternoon.

While she hadn't said anything I didn't already know, she'd managed to put everything in a different perspective. I'd longed for Harry's attention and affection for quite sometime now but I never really demanded it. I'd let him pass with a million excuses, hoping that someday things would go back to the way they'd once been.

I can hardly remember a night we'd had to ourselves that didn't end in an argument or makeup sex. It had been so long since we'd had time to just enjoy each other's company in an unadulterated fashion. I couldn't even remember the last time we'd had a date night and with a baby coming soon that would be nearly impossible.

The only way things would improve is if we made an effort.

It was late afternoon by the time I arrived back home, Harry's rover perched under the garage to my surprise. I felt as if I'd nearly die as I hauled the groceries inside, making just enough noise to alert Harry in hopes he'd come out from wherever he was an assist me but I knew I was asking for too much.

I was a sweating mess by the time I'd stowed away the groceries and wanted nothing more than to hop into the shower and crawl into bed but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I talked to Harry. With a huff I trudged back up the stairs. I had a little over two months left in the second trimester and I was already getting tired of them. We'll have to install an elevator when I can no longer see my toes.

My stomach knots with a mixture of nervous and excited energy when I spot the door of Harry's office ajar. He sits hunched over his desk, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration as he pores over a spreadsheet. The brooding expression on his face warns me that I probably shouldn't bother him but I know if I don't cease the opportunity it'll be too late.

"Hey," I speak softly whilst leaning against the door frame.

"Hi, babe," he speaks, never stopping to look at me.

I don't really mind, I was sure I looked a mess.

"C-can we talk?"

I can feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment and I don't know why. I shouldn't feel embarrassed about asking something so normal of my husband.

"Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of doin' figures. Can't really be bothered."

I can feel the tears begin to sting my eyes and the anger brewing in my chest. He doesn't even think twice about dismissing me. I was beyond through with playing second fiddle to his work.

I let out an aggravated sigh before approaching his desk.

"No Harry, it cannot wait. It's been waiting for too long now. We need to talk."

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sets his pen down.

" Fuckin' hell, Riv. I really hope this isn't one of your 'we need couple counseling' talks."

My eye twitches in annoyance and I scoff. For seemingly being unbothered by my suggestion,he sure finds the perfect opportunity to bring it up again.

"No, Harry," I speak slowly, placing a hand against my protruding belly. "this is about our baby."

His cold gaze suddenly softens at the mention of the growing bean and if I weren't so annoyed I'd be incredibly endeared.

"What is it? Is everything alright?"

I nod slowly, tucking a flyaway behind my ear.

"I'm having my twenty week appointment soon. I wanted to know if you want to find out the baby's gender."

I chew at the corner of my lip awaiting his reply.

Harry runs a hand through his hair, shrugging slightly.

"Do you want to know, darling?"

The corner of my lips turn up into a small grin thinking of the sweet agony of waiting another six months to find out if I'll have a boy or a girl. Most modern parents wanted to be surprised when the baby was born but the idea of not be prepared to accommodate their gender made me uneasy. I thrived on being prepared.

"I think it'll drive me crazy if I don't know. But I won't find out if you don't want to."

It was a sacrifice I was willing to make. It made no sense to know if we couldn't come to an agreement.

He flashes a small dimpled grin.

"I think I wanna know too. I want to make sure the nursery is just perfect."

I can hardly contain my grin.

"So, it's settled then. We'll find out if we've got a girl or a boy."

Suddenly tired of standing, I make myself comfortable in a spare chair. My body seems to melt against the fabric and I'm not sure if I want to ever get up. There's a beat of silence until Harry speaks.

"What are you hoping for?"

I shrug.

"I don't really care. Boy or girl I'll love them just the same. What about you?"

A sheepish grin settles on his lips.

"I'd love a little girl I could spoil rotten. But a little boy would be my best friend."

His green eyes glitter with adoration. It's been so long since I've seen that look in his eyes. He used to look at me like that once.

"Torn , huh?" I giggle.

"I guess so." he chuckles. "You look really tired, babe."

As much as I wanted to deny it I could slowly feel myself drift off to sleep.

"Yeah, it's been a busy day. It'll be a busy week."

"Get some sleep, yeah? Don't want you wearing yourself out."

A yawn escapes me as I slowly rise from the chair, groaning at the aching of my back. I suddenly remember the main reason for barging in on my husband.

"Harry, there's something else I want to talk to you about. "

I tear my gaze away from his penetrating jade eyes, the embarrassment returning. I couldn't avoid the fear of him thinking this was a stupid idea or shutting it down all together.

His eyebrows raise with curiosity.

"Yeah?"

I draw in a deep breath.

"I was thinking,when we're not so busy- we could have a date night. No figures, no phone calls. Just you and me. It feels like forever since we've just been together."

He hums softly staring down at his spreadsheet before meeting my gaze once more.

"I think I'd like that." he drawls.

My stomach flutters with excitement and I bite back my grin.

"Good. We'll call it a date."

I lean across the desk, pressing a chaste kiss to his mouth and suddenly my day feels a little brighter. That was easy- too easy. Only time will tell if this is a light at the end of the tunnel or the rabbit hole we'll never be able the climb out of.

Notes

Hi guys! I'm back!

Just a disclaimer, this is probably the chapter I dislike the most. I apologize if it's not your favorite too. I tried to make it work but also didn't want to hold onto this chapter and be stuck! I hate to give you all another filler chapter but as I explained, with pregnancy being such a gradual and extensive process, there's going to be some lowkey chapters. If I could find away to bring you riviting and exciting chapters every update I would but alas, we've got to muddle through the mundane to get to the action.

So, a very lowkey chapter but a lot to ponder: Do you think River's mom knows something is going on in River's marriage that she might not want her to know about? Do you think her talk with River was affective? Do you think she's slowly starting to realize how important communication is? Why is she suddenly so tired lately? What about Harry? Shouldn't he put more effort into listening to River beyond talks about the baby? Do you think he will stick to his commitment of date night? Is date night even a good idea or will it be a disaster? So many questions! I love to hear what you all think!

I failed to mention it in the last update but I created a pinterest page for this story. It's pretty much one big mood board for the story. You can check it out here if you're interested: https://www.pinterest.com/loverosiexo/crossroads/

I'll be going back to university in about three weeks and as much as I'd love to get out an update I'm not sure if I will. It's highly possible I may be on a little hiatus but I hope you all will stick with me! Also, I've decided to change the rating of this story from R- Nc-17. I hope it doesn't affect anyone's reading experience.

Also, Happy birthday, 1D. If it weren't for those five silly boys this story would probably not exist in it's form. I can't believe it's been eight years!

Well, that's all for now. Until next time! Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a little review!

daydreamsandafternoontea.tumblr.com