To Help Thy Directioners (Reviews and More)

Your story is really well made for a first time story. I really like your story idea and writing. I could only find a few minor problems with it that you can easily fix to help out your readers.

1.) space your paragraphs apart, with it being all one huge jumbled chapter makes it hard on the readers, but if you space it out, it makes it nice and simple for us to read, it flows better that way.

2.) a few minor grammar issues in your story, just re-read once and you can quickly change your mistakes before you post, but it is so minor that it doesn't bother the reader as much. I really like the fact that it isn't a lot of grammar issues, so thank you for writing nicely.

3.) last thing is, you started off so well with great description, letting your reader visualize what you were writing in their heads, but then it seemed you started wanting to update fast and stopped describing things and hurried the story along. Slow down, breath, and put that love back in, give us the juicy details so we have a nice picture painted in our head again.

Other than those things it is a well made story to begin with, and a well made one for your first, most people couldn't pull that off, but you did. I liked how you have similies in your stories, how you change the pov well so we know who is talking and not confusd. I like how you know football is an English term and soccer is an American one. I just really really like your story. Kepp it up!

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