Ronan: To the Moon and Back

It's been a busy and exhausting week, according to Rae, so when Louis shows up at her door step, yet again, she doesn't turn him away. Not after he offers to help her with whatever she needs. Louis doesn't mean to snoop in Rae's room while she's downstairs dealing with yet another mysterious call she never shares the details of, (though he still hears enough to know it has something to do with money.) He was just doing as he was told, when he firmly insisted that he could help organize her used film rolls and label them correctly, after Rae nearly throws them across the room.

So it's not his fault when he stubs his toe on something sticking out from under her bed. The pain in his toe is almost not, more of a dull smack then a sharp pain, nowhere near the pain of when he stepped on a sea urchin before judges houses. He accidentally ends up kicking whatever it is out further from beneath the bed, staring down at a plain brown box only marked by a simple capital J. He had knocked off the top of it, now sitting at an angle, exposing little trinkets and papers. Curious- and if Louis were a cat he'd be dead- he kneels down, setting aside the film tube in his hand, pulling the box towards him.

He shouldn't, he really shouldn't, but he just can't help his eyes catching a Polaroid. It's a picture of Rae. She's sitting cross legged and holding a tiny black kitten up in the air, smiling at it like its the greatest gift she's gotten. Louis gently pushes it aside, picking up a concert ticket for Mumford and Sons, three years back. He continues on, shifting through and picking up things; a dried out flower, an film canister Louis thought was empty until he shook it, opening it, a necklace with a key charm falling into his hand. More ticket stubs for movies and shows, a mixed CD, cards from her birthday and Christmas and Valentines day. A little feather attached to a string, Louis assuming its a cats toy. A letter addressed to Lover, and a few more pictures.

The last one is of Rae and (whom Louis guesses) this J bloke kissing in the sunlight. Their noses are a little smashed together and Rae is smiling through the kiss, the corners of her mouth turned up. There's a hot curling in the pit of Louis' stomach while he continues to stare at the picture, and finally puts it down because he shouldn't be jealous of someone who clearly never cared for Rae. Who took her cat and ran off. Louis replaces the top, and gently shoves it back, until he hears it hit something else.

Cats supposedly have nine lives and what's it to him if he loses a metaphorical one, when he pulls out yet another box. It's smaller than the last, with a B marked on it. The contains in this box are less than the previous. There are more pictures and less ticket stubs, save for a ticket to that important Man U match two years ago. There's only one card and Louis decides not to read it, for the cover is filled with little hearts and butterflies. There aren't any kissing pictures, just ones with Rae and another boy laughing together while taking the pictures herself. Louis closes it, puts it back and pulls yet another box out.

It's white, covered in little doodles and if he didn't know any better, he'd think Zayn had gotten a hold of it. There's no letter marking it, the drawings are enough for Rae to know who's it is.

Louis gently pries the top off, setting it aside. The first thing he sees is an empty mini bottle of whiskey, resting on a pile of pictures. Pictures of a boy with tan skin and dark hair and a groomed beard. Pictures of him hugging two girls who resemble him; him holding a cute Yorkie; a picture of whom Louis thinks is the kids parents. Pictures of him kissing his girlfriend. Pictures of Rae's mother and him, of baby Ronan and him, and finally pictures of Rae herself.

Louis pulls out colored tin foil with winner written on them, made to look like medals. There are candy wrappers and sticky notes and an old smoked out fag; and a joint. There's jewelry and a half empty bottle of cologne. Louis picks up a notebook, opening and flipping through pages on pages of drawings.

A loose paper falls out, landing in his lap. He recognizes the drawing, perfectly matching the dream catcher tattoo Rae's got etched on her shoulder. A lump forms in Louis throat now relaxing who the box belongs too. He finally picks up a dried out rose, a mini program with his picture on it and a little clear jar. The jar is attached to a necklace, corked in tightly, holding what looks like gray sand. Louis replaces all but the program, marking the date for May 25th. Vinny's smiling face printed on the front of page of the little memorial booklet.
It may be too late, but out of respect (ha), Louis doesn't read the words printed inside. Instead he closes his eyes, having his own little moment for Rae's cousin who had passed. Who had clearly been an important part of her life. Louis gently places the booklet back and closes the lid on all of Rae's memories.

There's one more box Louis' pulls out. It's different from the others; dark oak and heavy, though smaller than Vinny's. The top is covered in a thick layer of dust, from having sat idly for so long. Unlike the others, there's a little sliver padlock, locking away the contains and memories. However, like Vinny's its unmarked, just black and weighing on the floor, and Louis thinks it possibly resembles Raelyn's heart. Burdened with these boxes she hides away, her memories, her love, never to be found. Before Louis has a chance to put it back, he's startled by a voice behind him.

"What are you doing!?" Rae's aghast voice comes from the doorway, breathless with an underlining of panic.

Louis jumps a good foot from the ground, whirling around to meet Rae. Her expression is mixed with defensive anger and utter betrayal and annoyance. He fish mouths for a few moments before Rae strides forward, snatching the locked box out of his hands. Her eyes fall from Louis to Vinny's box sitting next to his thigh, and her expression falters for a split second. A second where all Louis sees is anguish before anger replaces it yet again.

"Did you go through every one of my boxes, Louis?" She asks quietly, the scariest tone if Louis ever heard one, besides his mothers.

"I didn't mean-" Louis starts desperately, scrambling to his feet.

Rae steps back, glaring daggers. "You had no right."

"I know, and I'm so sorry but it was sticking out and I tripped over it and knocked the top off. I was putting it back when I saw some pictures, and my curiosity out the best of me. I shouldn't have. You're right and it was wrong of me. I'm so sorry, Rae."

They stare at each other for a while, Louis' own blue eyes pleading for undeserving forgiveness. There friendship during that past few months has grown stronger and walks the thin line between that and just a little more than friends. If he ruins it because he couldn't keep his fucking hands to himself well, he doesn't know what he'd do. He can clearly see he's betrayed her trust, after all that she's already confided in him.

He can see and hear her breathing hard, closing her eyes and hopefully trying to dispute her anger. She puts the box down on her bed, pinching bridge of her nose before sighing loudly. Automatically, almost absentmindedly, she raises her left hand, pressing firmly into her chest. Louis bites his concern back, figuring its be better to stay silent than plead his case once more.

"Thank you for your help, Louis." Rae finally speaks calmly, opening her eyes and staring strangely at Louis. "I've got it from here."

He doesn't like the monotone of her voice or the tightness around her eyes, but he complies nonetheless. He nods, eyes downcast as he passing her. He's an idiot. He gets as far as second to last step on the stairs before he abruptly turns around, taking the steps two at a time, because no. He's not going to leave like this. He's going to fix it.

When he reaches the landing he runs straight into Rae, literally. They reach other for each other, gripping each arm and using that leverage to pull themselves up from falling; Rae onto the flat floor, and Louis. Well if she hadn't caught his biceps he would've had a nasty trip down the stairs. He can see her eyes flash with panic at the same thought.

"I didn't want you to actually leave." Rae confesses.

"Wasn't planning on it." Louis reassures, smiling brightly. "I didn't mean-"

"It's fine, Louis. Just...no one knows I keep boxes like that, so you finding them was unexpected. I just need you to understand. Those are-they're like my scars, demons, ghosts, whichever. I never wanted anyone to see them. Never meant to show anyone."

She bites her lips and Louis follows the drag of her bottom lip with his eyes. He mentally shakes his head, eyes snapping back up to her. He wants to apologize again, but he knows she won't take it, she's already forgiven him. He does however, have a different question in mind.

"You show them to me." He states softly. Rae is speechless for a few moments, so he takes his chance. "May I ask you something? You don't have to answer me though, but. Those phone calls, Rae. Are they serious, do you need help with something?"

Rae steps back, pulls Louis along with her so he is safely away from the danger of the stairs. "Er...the bank calls some times, and the electric company and...it's fine. They only call when a payment is late or we couldn't pay. It's nothing to worry about."

"Is that why your house is so bloody cold all the time? They turned your heater off again?"

"I-"

"Is it why you've been taking triple shifts at diner? Liz told me-"

"You talk to Liz?" Rae cuts in slightly amused.

"Technically, Kari told me, but Liz was right there too. Liam and I came by the other day, but you were on a break and-Raelyn. Do you need help financially?"

Rae mouths wordlessly, takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "Maybe." She exhales. "Maybe a little."

He had a growing suspicion her family needed money. Louis gently squeezes her elbow and tried pulling her into a hug, when her eyes snap open.

"No."

"What? No what?" Louis attempts to play it off, as if she didn't just completely read his mind and his intention to want to help her. "I didn't do anything."

Her mini candle glare is back. "You're going to, I know you. And no, Louis Tomlinson, I will not take anything you offer because it's not your burden and I could never ask- I would never ask you to- and no."

Louis just chuckles at her and finally pulls her in, wrapping his arms around her shoulder. "Fine, Jean Grey. I won't offer any money to you."

"Did you really just reference X-Men, you dork? Geez."

But Rae is giggling into his shoulder, and Louis thinks if the boxes are forgotten and her worries for paying bills with the money she doesn't have is gone for now, he'll gladly make comic book references every time.

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