Ronan: To the Moon and Back

Rae stands outside of Ronan's room, watching through the window and fuming silently. She never thought he father would come back, let alone finally acknowledge his son's cancer. Her eyes narrow, wishing to burn a hole through his balding head. It must have been a heated gaze anyway, for her fathers head suddenly snaps towards her. His dark gray eyes meet hers, and for a moment she sees nothing but regret. That emotion flashes away as quick as the lightening outside, turning into an sly smile, his lips spreading like the sudden shadows beneath his feet.

Rae blinks. She hadn't notice that before. She watches the shadows closely as they waver. It doesn't make sense. Her father stood there like a statute, cold and unmoving, so how were the shadows seeping forward? Rae feels a cold fear stab through every fiber of her body when the shadows sprout thin black arms, with long eerie fingers.

Abruptly, the arms shoot out, snaking their way around the bed Ronan is happily sitting in. Blissfully unaware of the creepy figures, traveling towards him.

"Ronan!" Rae calls out, but her voice doesn't carry through the door. She's useless.
She watches the arms slither up the legs of the bed, up to the sheets and straight towards the sick boy. He finally spots them, his innocent blue eyes stricken with fear. He tries scrambling back against his pillows, whimpering . When he looks up, he sees his sister through the glass of the door.

"RaRa! Help me!" Ronan cries out terrified.

"Ronan!" Rae attempts to open the door, jiggling the locked handle. Pulling it back with her foot against the wall next to it for leverage, and banging on the glass.

"Raelyn!" Ronan screams through his tears. The dark arms now wrapping tightly around his legs and quickly twisting up his small torso. "Don't let it take me!"

"Ronan! I won't! Dad help!" For the first since the arms reached out, she looks at her father. "Daddy, please!"

But the figure that stood in his place looks nothing like him; is no longer her father. Instead, it had turned black as night, with only a blinding white toothy grin, and laughing maliciously back at her. It stretches out his arms toward her brother.

Terror tears at Raelyn's heart, her little brothers shrieks vibrating through her bones. She watches helplessly as the shadow swallows the rest of Ronan's body, silencing his screams, and allowing one final glimpse of blue tinted horror. Just like that, Ronan is gone.


"Ronan!" Raelyn yells, bolting straight out of her nightmare in her bed. She glances around wildly, panting with painful spams slicing through her chest. Her blood running cold with fear, sweat dotting at her forehead, dampening the roots of her hair. She frantically pushes her hair back with shaky hands before fluttering them around widely. Settling one hand on her chest, clutching her bare skin and digging her nails into flesh.

It was a dream. Just a dream. But no. Dreams are not like that. It is a nightmare, her nightmare, her hell, and suddenly Rae has difficulty breathing. She can't catch her breath, can't get enough air into her lungs. She feels shaky and hot and her heart will just not stop slamming against needles and she's alone. Alone in her dark room, with the vivid memory of her brother disappearing into the same darkness. She quickly reaches over and switches on the table light.

"M-mum!" She calls out. "Mummy!?"

Her mother doesn't answer, and its then she remembers her mothers night shift. Of all the time she needs her mother. Without thinking twice, Rae snatches her phone from the night able, automatically finding the right contact.

"'Lo?" Comes a mumbled answer after the fifth ring.

"Lou- I can't-I don't-I-" Rae stutters frantically, gasping for breathe she can't seem to catch.

"Shit. Alright. In and out, Raelyn. Breathe in and out." Louis instructs calmly, demonstrating steady breaths via the phone.

Rae tries. She does, but all she can hear and see, and think of, is the shadowy figure and Ronan's piercing screams curling her blood. She gasps, clutching harder at he chest, trying to rip it open so she can just breathe.

"Raelyn, listen to me. Just my voice, love. You can do this. You're alright. Just breathe in slowly. Count to ten." Louis coaches her. If she isn't in such a state, she would have heard worried voices in the background and the slamming of a door; keys jingling.

"C-c-cant. I-he-Lou-" Rae is now hyperventilating, clawing relentlessly at her chest. The sound of an engine starting up escaping her.

"Rae, I need you to focus on me. Ronan is fine. He's okay, he's safe." Louis promises. "I'm on my way, but you have to breathe for me. In for two, out for two. In for four, out for four. All the way to ten."

She shuts her eyes, willing the flashes of the nightmare away, and latching on to Louis' controlled lilt. She inhales shakily, mentally counting. In and out. In and out. In and out. Focuses solely on the sound of his voice.

"Seven, eight, and out slowly. There you go, Rae. You're doing great. Ronan is fine."

Rae continues to follow Louis' directions, still trembling, still clawing at her chest. He stays on the phone with her, calming her down enough so her heart is no longer throwing itself against barbwire. Stays on until there's a knock at the door. With an unsteady balance, her legs feel like gelatin, she slowly makes it down the stairs to unlock and open the door, letting Louis into the dark house.

A light switches on, and immediately she pulled into his embrace. His arms wrapped tightly around her shaking body, warm and safe. She's safe now. Protected by Louis, who she now clutches at his shoulder blades, fingertips brushing and nails biting into his skin where the fabric of his singlet doesn't cover. Rae buries her face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent deeply. Her nosed filled with warmth, like the low embers of fire, rain and Louis. She focuses on his pulse against her cheek, pumping faster than normal.

"I'm here now. You're alight, Rae. I've have you." Louis coos in her ear, lips just barely grazing the shell.

Raelyn nods, focusing on the soothing patterns the four hands are tracing along her back. Wait, four hands? Since when did Louis grow another pair of hands? Startled, Rae pulls back far enough to peek out from her hiding place. Forest green eyes meet stormy blue, brown curly hair swooping over his forehead. A sudden wave of comfort washes over her, causing her to abruptly release Louis' shoulder, snatching out to grip at Harry's shirt. He visibly winces, not expecting her to react like that, before he brings one hand to cover hers, squeezing tightly.

***

"You didn't have to come over, you know." Rae tells them over the rim of her mug filled with steaming tea. She's nestled tightly between the two boys, snuggled so close that the back of her knees rest on each of their legs.

"Don't start, Rae." Louis chides, rubbing circles into her knee with his thumb.

"It's two in the morning." She states quietly, inhaling the aroma of the tea; its strong.

"Yeah, and that makes a difference?" Harry quips while his fingers brush through her hair.

"Hmm. Should." Rae mumbles.

"Hush and drink your tea."

She does, sipping carefully and accepting the soothing warmth of the liquid that seems to spread throughout her veins. All three are silent for a while, Rae finishing her tea and basking in the comfort of Louis and Harry. She listens to their own breathing, straining to hear their heartbeats for its a sound that always tends to relax her. Louis presses a kiss to her hair the same time Harry's fingers apply slight pressure to her other. A barely audible gasp escapes her lips, her eyes slipping shut from the pounding headache she had since they arrived, and exhaustion.

"Headache?" Harry questions, repeating the motion again.

"Mmhmm." Rae hums, melting into his touch. "Worse back here." She lifts her hand, scratching at the base of her skull. "Always worse."

"Here?" It's Louis instead of Harry, pressing the pads of her fingers at the tight muscles there.

Rae bites her lip, nodding lightly. Not five minutes later, with the tea mug safely out of her hands (Harry noticed it tipping over from her slacking grip and quickly took it away) Rae falls asleep. Her head is resting against Louis' chest, his heartbeat singing her sweet dreams.


Louis just continues to gently massage his fingers through her hair, pushing back loose strands when they fall in her face. He softly traces the fingers of his left hand over her knuckles, trailing up the back of her hand, her wrist, and outlining the camera tattoo etched into her skin. Slowly, ever so slowly, his fingers make their face to her chest plate, just her under collarbones, his touch barely grazing over the red welts on her skin. He lifts three fingers, touches them to his lips, then places them back on the ragged lines on her chest.

He can feel his heart pounding in his chest as he caresses her cheek, and strokes his thumb just beneath her eye, her lashes grazing his thumb. His stomach twists into knots, a slow warmth spreading throughout his body; like the burning beginning of a fire on a winter's night. A good burning, a wonderful warmth that makes Louis drop his head two inches and places his lips on her temple. It's a soft, tender little kiss, and reveals more than he intended.

Because now, his eyes gaze up to meet green. He completely forgot Harry is there, and has been watching him the whole time. Harry's eyes are soft around the edges and there's a knowing smile teasing his lips. His eyes flicker once between the sleeping Rae and Louis, who had ended his little kiss about five seconds too late. Harry opens his mouth and Louis just knows.

"You're in love with her." Harry states gently, like a secret carried in the wind. He isn't assuming, he isn't asking. He's just simply stating what's so clear in front of him.

Louis can feel his heart skipping beats and his chest tightens, a little difficult to breathe just then. "I haven't got a clue what you're on about, Harold." Is his response.

"And you're going to deny it because you honestly think she doesn't love you back." Harry breathes out a chuckle.

Rae shifts for a moment in her sleep, Louis glaring at Harry to shut it. She settles again, exhaling a deep breath and seems to find a more comfortable position; half curled into Louis with her feet digging into Harry's thigh. Louis makes a move to prepare to carry her and bring her to her room, when he's stopped.

"You're not getting out of this one, Louis." Harry tells him, pushing his arm out of the way to hold Rae instead.

Louis shrugs as Rae moves again, and together him and Harry bring her up to her room. When she's tucked back in under her duvet, both boys settle back on the couch, grabbing the blankets from the armchair and snuggling into their own slumber. Louis lies awake for several more minutes. He is fucked.

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Notes