Ronan: To the Moon and Back

No calls, no texts, in fact Rae's phone seems to be shut off. The pictures come out the day after the little pap fiasco, plastered on gossip websites with horrible, written up lies. No body should believe print articles anyway. No, Louis does not have a love child, bloody fucking hell.

During the week, his fingers itch to contact Rae. His week is shit. He tries contacting his girlfriend, but she avoids him, probably because they both know what's coming and they both don't know how to really go about it. He and the boys are scolded for going out without their bodyguards and if they do it again next time, they can kiss the Hospice visitation goodbye. Which is a little extreme in Louis' opinion. He stops by the diner, only to see Liz who informs him that Rae has taken the week off for Ronan.

"Good on her too. She works herself to death, that one. She needs a break." Liz tells Louis, as she, ironically, serves fucking Diner Guy.

Louis just glares daggers at Diner Guy, and only revels in the fact that Diner Guy won't see Rae either. He's got something to tell her, and he could always just show up at her house, but he can't do that, not after last week. So instead, he asks Liz if she could just mention that he stopped by and would like to talk to Rae whenever she gets in. Liz agrees with a sad sort of smile on her face.

***

It's on the twelfth day of no contact does Louis finally, finally see Raelyn. She's at that hole in the wall cafe, where he met her the second time, eyes a little tired, but not at all guarded like the last time he saw her. He's relieved and happy for all a split second, before he realizes just who is standing next to her. Louis seethes as he watches the same guy, Diner Prick Guy, with the grace of a slimy snake, wrap his arm around her shoulders. He can hear him talk from where he's standing.

"Did you need a ride? I can take you home." Fucking Bloody Diner Guy offers, smiling sweet like the syrup they pump in the coffee. Sickly sweet.

Maybe he's just being nice...Louis doesn't care for nice. Doesn't care for the way he is looking at Rae like she's on of the pastries on display. He feels something like fire coil hotly in his stomach, and abruptly his legs are moving without his doing and he's suddenly standing next to them.

"I think she's good, thanks." Louis nearly sneers, but keeps his cool, no matter how hot the fire burns. He brings his own arm up around her shoulders, knocking Eric...Ethan or whoever's arm out of the way. "I'm sure if she wanted, she'd ask."

Rae's shock lasts for a second before she shoots Louis a look. If looks could kill. "No, thank you." She declines the prick's offer kindly.

The bloke holds his hands up in defense. "Didn't mean to flirt with your girlfriend mate." He says to Louis. Smiles and thanks Rae, then leaves the cafe.

Louis steers Rae out of the shop, and doesn't let her go until he is opening the door of his car. He could practically feel the anger radiating off her. He gently closes the door after Rae is settled and buckled in. He gets in himself and drives off. The car ride is quiet save for the faint music from the radio. Rae breaks it first.

"Did you even consider that I could have possibly driven myself?" Rae seethes.

"Did you?" Louis ask curtly, eyes on the road.

A beat of silence passes.

"That's not the point." So she didn't drive. "You were rude, and I can take care of myself. Jealously doesn't become you." She chides, calling him out.

"I am not jealous. I just don't like him." Louis scoffs.

"You don't even know him."

"Don't have too." He answers hotly. "You seemed to be doing that for the both of us. Probably has your number now." He mumbles the last part, but Rae still hears.

"Yep."

The car loses sped for a few second because Louis' foot slips off the gas peddle. He tightens his grip on the wheel; shit week is shit week.

"Fuck, Louis." Rae sighs exasperated, pinching her nose. "Why are you so angry?"

"Why did you ignore me for two weeks?" He challenges.

Rae falls silent for several minutes. They sit in the car, the tension heavy with something new and foul tasting in their mouths, never truly fought about anything. Louis' jealousy is making Rae frustrated in return, both calling each other out.

"I-" Rae begins.

"Don't lie to me." Louis interrupts softly. "Please. Or shake it off, or change the subject and pretend whatever is bothering you isn't truly bothering you. That is bullshit and I hate when you do that. Please."

Rae inhales deeply. "I just needed...I don't know, Louis. It was weird for me? The paparazzi, and being extra careful with Ronan at home, and me mum. So family time, yeah? But then Ronan wasn't feeling good so he had to go back a day earlier. Before me birthday...I was upset about some things. I didn't mean to ignore you. I would never...I couldn't pay my phone bill."

Tension gone; good because bickering with Rae is not something he wants to do again. Louis relaxes his grip on the wheel, glances over at Rae who's staring out the window. Louis turns right, and parks in the last row of a shopping center car park. She looks confused when he does.

"I'm sorry then." Louis finally speaks up, turning to face her. "Didn't mean to get so angry. Is Ronan- how is he now?"

Rae shrugs, fingers beginning to trail over her collarbones. "He's alright, I guess. Mum just got scared and brought him back early. Besides that, he was fine at home." There's a small smile on her lips as she turns to look at Louis.

"That's good then."

It goes quiet again, Rae closing her eyes and resting her head against the headrest. Louis reaches over to squeeze her hand on her knee in apology again. A thought occurs, then he's taking his hand away, forcing a hint of a joke in his voice.

"I can not believe you went on a date with Fucking Diner Guy." He says, fishing more like.

"I can't believe you think I went on a date with him." Rae's eyes snap open, oceans waves dancing in amusement. "Honestly, Louis."

Louis shrugs, crossing his arms, doesn't register what she said. "I don't like him. He's rude and egotistical and thinks he can charm the knickers off anyone. Really, he's just a bloody player. A fuck boy, if you will, and you went on a bloody date!"

"Louis-" Rae has to laugh now because he's so far from the truth to this last statement.

"His teeth are too damn white and he supports Liverpool, did you see his shirt? You went on a date with some bloke who supports Liverpool!"

"Lou-"

"He smells funny and he's been stalking you for weeks, desperately asking you out when you clearly didn't want it. Yet you still went and I'm over here thinking if she'll go with him...I may have gotten a little jealous."

"Knew it." Rae mutters. "You've got no reason to be jealous, Louis. You're being a little ridiculous, and you've got a girlfriend! I just don't get it."

"Not anymore." Louis mumbles, loud enough for Rae to catch it again.

"Not...any...what?" Rae stutters incredulously.

"Eleanor broke up with me." He sighs heavily, dropping his head on the steering wheel, and watching her reaction.

Rae kind of just freezes for a moment, runs her hand through her hair until she remembers that she actually twisted it up. She studies his expression; his downcast eyes, the slight downward tilt to his mouth, and he sees realization dawn on her face. She has seen Louis more upset about Man U losing than this right now. He can see it click in her eyes that maybe, just maybe Louis isn't that torn up about it. Dating someone for nearly two years should require more of an reaction than just probably looking like a child whose ice cream got taken away.

"I don't understand. What happened?" Rae asks gently, all annoyance seemingly melts away as she sits across from him.

Louis shrugs again, shoulders heaving up and down.

"Hey now. You're always telling me that I can talk to you if I need too. The same goes for you too. You can't just hold it in, or act like something that's bothering you really isn't bothering you."

Louis smiles a little at that, finally picking his head up. "Right. She said it was time. That I wasn't in it anymore, or haven't been for a while. She's right, I have to agree with her on that part. I haven't been fair to her and we didn't talk as much as we use to. She said she felt the same way though. So, in the end I guess it was mutual. She thinks, um, thinks I may possibly have fallen for someone else."

Outside, the weather turns gray, drizzling the car with rain that promises the end of November and beginning of December. Louis feel like his mood lately matches the clouds outside, gray and dimmed from the gloomy day; or just gloom in general. He doesn't feel that upset about it anymore though. Instead, the longer the silence stretches on, the more his stomach flutters with anticipation and nerves. Because essentially he just told her he may have feelings for her. He does. He knows he does. She doesn't actually know that the does. It's nerve-wracking.

Rae speaks finally, hesitant. "Have you then?"

Louis drops his eyes, suddenly finding the little bumps on the steering wheel much more interesting. "I'm not sure. Possibly." He lies.

"You know Louis, if you just wanted to get with Fucking Diner Guy, all you had to do was ask."

There are times when Louis forgets what an absolute shit Rae can be. It catches him by surprise so much that he can't even feign offence. He tells her so. "You're a little shit sometimes, y'know."

"Yeah well...you crashed my meeting." Rae smiles, shit-eating and all. And yet, it's nothing but endearing.

"I'm-wait. Meeting?"

"Yes. Meeting. As in we met up to talk about hiring me for his sister's graduation pictures."
Louis blinks once, twice. "Not a date?"

"Not a date." Rae speaks slowly. "Envy and you must be close mates."

Louis glares at her with the intensity of a mini candle because he could never truly throw any heated look her way. He feels, before he sees her fingers brush against his knuckles and leaves them there. It wasn't a date.

"Are you alright though?" Rae's concern is lovely at a time like this. All joking aside.

"Perfect." Louis smiles brightly. "I'll be completely fine."

***

They stop at the camera shop upon Raelyn's request, picking up two folders full of pictures. Angelique is working the backroom, but comes out to greet both Rae and Louis. If she winks at Louis while hugging Rae with a smirk on her mouth, neither of them mention it. She asks Rae if she could make a copy of one picture; its a side shot of Zayn. His blurry profile on the left of the picture smiling (Louis can see the corner of his mouth hitched up) and bending over, arms stretch out for Ronan, who's sitting on the floor with his sparkling wide blue eyes. The beanie Louis gave him, and a smile that's more blinding than the sun. Rae had edited the picture before hand, detailing several of Zayn's tattoos vividly, along with the sharpened image of her brother. Its a beautiful picture.

Rae informs her of needing to ask Zayn for his permission before she can give Angelique an answer. Understanding, she shoos both of them away with a wave of her hand, calling goodbye and for Rae to fix her camera bag already. Mainly because as they're leaving the store, the seams at the bottom of the big pocket rips and out comes her phone and film rolls. Which reminds Louis.

"How old are you now?' Louis asks, somewhat out of the blue, because Rae shoots him a confessed expression.

"Just turned 22." She answers, grabbing the AUX cord to plug in her phone.

"So you just had a birthday. Last week, am I right?"

"Obviously, yesss..." Rae drawls out, scrolling through her music.

Louis reaches behind his seat, blindly searching for a gift-bag on the floor of the backseat. He smiles when he feels his fingers brush against the tissue paper, and pulls the rest of the bag to the front. He plops it down on Rae's lap, who had stopped scrolling the second she heard the paper rustle. She's staring at him like he's grown another head.

"And what, pray tell, is this?" Rae questions cautiously.

"Your birthday present." Louis smiles, turning sideways and crossing his legs on the seat. "Wasn't able to give it to you because...well..."

Rae nods shortly, eyeing the bag like its going to explode any moment. "You did't have to get me anything, Louis. Especially anything this big."

He rolls his eyes. "It's not that big."

"I'm sorry, I can't see you over all the tissue paper, what was that?"

"Just open it, you little menace."

Rae mumbles as she begins pulling out paper, "Better not be another cat."

It's not. In fact, what she pulls out of the bag is another bag. She sees a glint of gold, flashing a name across her vision and drops it back into the bigger bag. She swallows. Looks over at Louis with wide, disbelieving eyes, her hand covering her mouth. Louis only smiles encouragingly; if a little dubious.

Rae's hand slowly lowers, pulling it out again. It's a camera bag. A dark leather bag, soft and smooth under her fingertips as she trails them along the edges and pockets. Two front pockets with little gold buckles, and golden zippers on top that open to reveal four compartments inside. A bigger one to obviously fit a camera, two on the side of that for lens and a small one to fit either memory cards or film. She carefully zips up the bag, taking the shoulder strap in her hand, thumbing along the material before reading the golden letters. Louis is gnawing away at his thumbnail by the time she finally says something.

Rae inhales deeply, closes her eyes for a brief moment, exhaling. "This is beautiful."
Louis relaxes; it's short lived. "But I can't-"

"No." Louis interrupts firmly. "This is my gift to you for you birthday, Raelyn. A gift."

"Louis, it's too expensive." Rae evens gently.

"How would you know that?" Louis asks, not unkindly. "I could have gotten it at a thrift store."
Rae points to the name. "I've never been to a thrift stores that sells Marc Jacobs bags. Holy fuck." She breaths out that last part, eyeing the bag again.

"You need a new camera bag, Rae." Louis begins softly, eyes on his hand, now picking at the skin on his thumb. "I know the one you have now means a lot to you. If you honestly, and truly don't want this one because the other holds memories of Vinny, then okay. Alright, I'll understand and I'll take it back, but please. Please don't give it back to be because you think it's too much. If it helps...I did get it on sale."

He feels her fingers brush against his, takes his hands and holds them tight, preventing further cuticle damage. Louis looks up. His breath catches in his throat. Rae is looking at him with the softest expression. Her eyes sparkling like the sun when it glittering off the oceans surface. She smiles.

"Thank you."

His response is to say 'you're welcome', nice and safe. Instead, he brings up his right hand, releasing from her hold, and gently places his hand on her cheek, tendering stroking his thumb along her cheek bone. If he isn't mistaken, Rae actually leans into his touch. Before he can do any further damage due to his own stupidity (like lean forward to see what her lips would feel like; soft rose pedals, smooth silk?) Louis clears his throat and pulls his hand away, turning to face forward.

"Right. Well, you are very welcome." He rushes out, flicks the key to start up the engine and finally pulls out of the bloody camera store lot.

He assumes Rae does the same, because he hears the tissue shift against each other, and the bag resting on the floor of the car. The air is heavy; charged with something that sparks warmth into the car and into his heart and Louis can not take this day anymore. Rae's fingers were warm from the heat of the car, her eyes like December birthstones. Which Louis tries not to think about the irony of that, her eyes the color of his birth months stone. His stomach feels hot and those damn butterflies are back and it's all due to Rae sitting next to him. Who finally decides to speak.

"Louis." Her tone is light. "I really do love it. I just can't wrap my mind around you walking into a designer handbag shop. Like-" She stifles a laugh- "were you pestered by a sales worker?"

"Lets not talk about it." Louis growls playfully, remembering his time in the store that took an hour when really it should have only taken ten minutes. The bloody bag was right there on display.

Rae laughs out loud at his response. He looks over at her quickly, her head thrown back against the headrest. Her knees pulled up with her feet on the dashboard, eyes squeezed shut and hands halfway in the air to cover her mouth and thinks; not a date.

And if they spend the rest of the day at Louis and Harry's flat, relaxing on the couch while watching the first night of 25 Days of Christmas, no one really has to know. It leads to Rae confessing her habit of watching really movies with sad endings (The Notebook, Finding Neverland, Titanic, etc) just to force herself to cry. It never works, just succeeds in giving herself induced panic attacks. Finding Neverland is playing on the movie channel and Louis doesn't tell her, just skips over it quickly; no matter how much she loves anything to do with Peter Pan. Her new bag sits by the door, with all her belongings already stored, and her camera snuggled nicely in the middle compartment.

Not a date.

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Notes