All I ever wanted
Chapter 7 - You never love the same way twice
Lucy's P.O.V
It took me a whole week to swallow my pride and go to Niall's house to apologize. It was now the day before One Direction would leave for tour. ''Please don't slam the door in my face'' I said with a tiny voice when Niall opened the door. I had never had a fight with Niall so I didn't really know how to act. He stepped aside so I could walk in and then I followed him to the living room where we sat down on his couch. ''I...'' I didn't really know what to say, ''you know what, Lucy? Save it. I don't want to hear it. You know it disgust me to hear how you've been acting towards Stephanie'' he began and I just opened my mouth in shock ''freezing her out when all the girls hang out, commenting about what she eats, making nasty comments in general. I didn't expect this from my friends, let alone my best fucking friend'' his tone was so cold. ''Niall that is not true, that's all the things she had done to me'' I tried to explain but once again he cut me off ''yeah that's what she said you would tell me, and damn I hoped she wasn't going to be right. Just fucking own up to what you have done, Lucy. Admit it, you don't want to see me happy'' and with that my tears started to fall ''Niall you've got it all wrong...this isn't..this is not what happened at all'' he stood up at my words and I couldn't help but feel this was it. Our friendship would be ruined. ''Oh why is she here?'' Stephanie walked in to the room, ''oh bitch don't even fucking start, do you have any idea what you have done?'' I yelled and took a step towards her but got stopped by Niall grabbing me ''enough'' he screamed in my face making me jump. ''This friendship is done'' he looked in to my eyes so freaking calm it made me livid. ''You're choosing her?'' I asked calmly, he gave me a quick nod. ''Go fuck yourself, Niall'' I said before pushing his chest hard. And with that I was out the door. When I pulled the car up beside our house I checked my phone and saw a text from Stephanie. What could she possibly want now? She has already got my best friend.
From: Stephanie Jones
I know what happened between you and Niall, tell Harry before I will.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Well I guess this is it then. This is the day I lose both my best friend and my boyfriend. Fucking great. I walked in the house just to see Harry on the couch playing Fifa, shocking. ''Have you been crying?'' he looked up and paused the game, ''Harry we need to talk'' I sat down and he turned to me. ''You've decided you're coming to tour with us?'' he smiled. God I hate this. I absolutely hate this. ''I feel like we need a break...and the tour is great for that. You get to do you and I get to do me for awhile'' his smile quickly disappeared and it made my heart sting. ''Are you breaking up with me?'' he looked like he was about to cry ''no, not at all. I'm just asking for space, I need a break'' I bit my tongue to stop the tears from falling. ''Why? Have I done something? Are you not in love with me anymore?'' he looked down and I could see tears stream down his face, and I swear my heart just broke. ''Harry please don't make this harder than it is, you know I love you but I need a break'' I let out a sniffle. I couldn't tell him about Niall and I. Not now. Not like this. I couldn't possibly break his heart like that. When he gets home from tour, I'll be out of this house. It won't hurt as much for him because he wouldn't have seen me in four months. Yeah, that's what I'll do. ''I will sleep at Eleanor and Louis' tonight. Good luck on tour, and have a safe flight. I love you'' I stood up and left our house. I drove and drove and drove, and when I stopped I just broke down in tears. My heart was broken. Shattered. In little fucking peaces. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Why did I have to get drunk and have sex with Niall. Yes, Steph pretty much confirmed it. Niall and I did have sex. I need to get away from this town. And then I just started to drive.
Harry's P.O.V
After a night of basically crying my eyes out I was ready to just sleep the whole plane ride to America. I wore big black sunglasses so that no one would see my red puffy eyes, but they knew me. They knew something was going on. ''What's going on?'' Liam whispered and put his arm over my shoulder, ''Lucy broke up with me'' I let out a sniffle. Fuck. I wasn't supposed to cry. I walked faster in to our plane and sat down by a window and just stared out. I hear Liam tell the other boys, good, I didn't have to do it now. But the soon all came up to me. ''How did it happen, mate?'' Louis asked and patted my shoulder, ''she came home last night crying and telling me she needed a break and then she said she'll be sleeping at your house and left'' I mumbled to Louis. ''She didn't sleep at my house last night, Haz'' Louis said ''where is she then? Can someone call her and see if she's alright? She won't answer my calls'' I said and looked directly towards Niall. ''I....I.. someone else should call her'' ''I'm calling her now'' Louis said. What was going on with Niall? I thought they had solved the fight they had at dinner a week ago. ''Hi babe, where you at? Uh-huh...okay, well we will miss you. Love you, take care. Bye'' he hung up and I stared at him for some sort of answer. ''She's fine, she's in Holmes Chapel. And she sends her apology to all of us, don't know why'' he smiled. I was glad she was okay but it didn't change the fact we weren't together at the moment. ''I was going to propose to her'' I blurted out making all the lads look at me in silence ''and now I don't even know if I'll get her back''.
Lucy's P.O.V
-Two weeks later-
''Why won't you tell me what happened between the two of you?'' Eleanor asked. I was back in London and I had not spoke to any of the boys in two weeks, I was just..I don't know out of it. We were laying in El's and Louis' bed just chilling all day. ''If I tell you there's a big chance you will hate me, and I can't lose anyone else right now'' I didn't even look at her, I was focused on a spot in the ceiling. El let out a sigh, ''promise you'll tell me when you're ready?'' ''I will''. We didn't say anything for a while and my head was just spinning with thoughts. ''What if I never love anyone the way I love him?'' I whispered, praying that she hadn't heard me but of course she had. ''You won't, honey. You never love the same way twice''.
-Four weeks later-
Six weeks without hearing Harry's voice. Six weeks without his touch, his presence, his love. I wonder how he's doing. I'm not doing so well. The guilt is drowning me. And Harry doesn't even know what I did. I wonder if Niall told him? Probably not. A thing like that would probably end One Direction. But I mean now that it's official they're taking a break maybe it doesn't matter. Sophia called last night, apparently she had broken up with Liam. Poor Liam. First Danielle breaking up with him and now Sophia. I'm all caught up in my own shit I don't even bother taking sides. When did I become a cold hearted person? Probably the night I slept with Niall. My thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the front door. I dragged myself out of the bed and put on a robe before opening the door. Two men in army uniforms with serious faces looked at me, ''Lucy Wellington?'' one of them asked and I nodded. ''We have some bad news'' he said and my heart just sank.
It took me a whole week to swallow my pride and go to Niall's house to apologize. It was now the day before One Direction would leave for tour. ''Please don't slam the door in my face'' I said with a tiny voice when Niall opened the door. I had never had a fight with Niall so I didn't really know how to act. He stepped aside so I could walk in and then I followed him to the living room where we sat down on his couch. ''I...'' I didn't really know what to say, ''you know what, Lucy? Save it. I don't want to hear it. You know it disgust me to hear how you've been acting towards Stephanie'' he began and I just opened my mouth in shock ''freezing her out when all the girls hang out, commenting about what she eats, making nasty comments in general. I didn't expect this from my friends, let alone my best fucking friend'' his tone was so cold. ''Niall that is not true, that's all the things she had done to me'' I tried to explain but once again he cut me off ''yeah that's what she said you would tell me, and damn I hoped she wasn't going to be right. Just fucking own up to what you have done, Lucy. Admit it, you don't want to see me happy'' and with that my tears started to fall ''Niall you've got it all wrong...this isn't..this is not what happened at all'' he stood up at my words and I couldn't help but feel this was it. Our friendship would be ruined. ''Oh why is she here?'' Stephanie walked in to the room, ''oh bitch don't even fucking start, do you have any idea what you have done?'' I yelled and took a step towards her but got stopped by Niall grabbing me ''enough'' he screamed in my face making me jump. ''This friendship is done'' he looked in to my eyes so freaking calm it made me livid. ''You're choosing her?'' I asked calmly, he gave me a quick nod. ''Go fuck yourself, Niall'' I said before pushing his chest hard. And with that I was out the door. When I pulled the car up beside our house I checked my phone and saw a text from Stephanie. What could she possibly want now? She has already got my best friend.
From: Stephanie Jones
I know what happened between you and Niall, tell Harry before I will.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Well I guess this is it then. This is the day I lose both my best friend and my boyfriend. Fucking great. I walked in the house just to see Harry on the couch playing Fifa, shocking. ''Have you been crying?'' he looked up and paused the game, ''Harry we need to talk'' I sat down and he turned to me. ''You've decided you're coming to tour with us?'' he smiled. God I hate this. I absolutely hate this. ''I feel like we need a break...and the tour is great for that. You get to do you and I get to do me for awhile'' his smile quickly disappeared and it made my heart sting. ''Are you breaking up with me?'' he looked like he was about to cry ''no, not at all. I'm just asking for space, I need a break'' I bit my tongue to stop the tears from falling. ''Why? Have I done something? Are you not in love with me anymore?'' he looked down and I could see tears stream down his face, and I swear my heart just broke. ''Harry please don't make this harder than it is, you know I love you but I need a break'' I let out a sniffle. I couldn't tell him about Niall and I. Not now. Not like this. I couldn't possibly break his heart like that. When he gets home from tour, I'll be out of this house. It won't hurt as much for him because he wouldn't have seen me in four months. Yeah, that's what I'll do. ''I will sleep at Eleanor and Louis' tonight. Good luck on tour, and have a safe flight. I love you'' I stood up and left our house. I drove and drove and drove, and when I stopped I just broke down in tears. My heart was broken. Shattered. In little fucking peaces. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Why did I have to get drunk and have sex with Niall. Yes, Steph pretty much confirmed it. Niall and I did have sex. I need to get away from this town. And then I just started to drive.
Harry's P.O.V
After a night of basically crying my eyes out I was ready to just sleep the whole plane ride to America. I wore big black sunglasses so that no one would see my red puffy eyes, but they knew me. They knew something was going on. ''What's going on?'' Liam whispered and put his arm over my shoulder, ''Lucy broke up with me'' I let out a sniffle. Fuck. I wasn't supposed to cry. I walked faster in to our plane and sat down by a window and just stared out. I hear Liam tell the other boys, good, I didn't have to do it now. But the soon all came up to me. ''How did it happen, mate?'' Louis asked and patted my shoulder, ''she came home last night crying and telling me she needed a break and then she said she'll be sleeping at your house and left'' I mumbled to Louis. ''She didn't sleep at my house last night, Haz'' Louis said ''where is she then? Can someone call her and see if she's alright? She won't answer my calls'' I said and looked directly towards Niall. ''I....I.. someone else should call her'' ''I'm calling her now'' Louis said. What was going on with Niall? I thought they had solved the fight they had at dinner a week ago. ''Hi babe, where you at? Uh-huh...okay, well we will miss you. Love you, take care. Bye'' he hung up and I stared at him for some sort of answer. ''She's fine, she's in Holmes Chapel. And she sends her apology to all of us, don't know why'' he smiled. I was glad she was okay but it didn't change the fact we weren't together at the moment. ''I was going to propose to her'' I blurted out making all the lads look at me in silence ''and now I don't even know if I'll get her back''.
Lucy's P.O.V
-Two weeks later-
''Why won't you tell me what happened between the two of you?'' Eleanor asked. I was back in London and I had not spoke to any of the boys in two weeks, I was just..I don't know out of it. We were laying in El's and Louis' bed just chilling all day. ''If I tell you there's a big chance you will hate me, and I can't lose anyone else right now'' I didn't even look at her, I was focused on a spot in the ceiling. El let out a sigh, ''promise you'll tell me when you're ready?'' ''I will''. We didn't say anything for a while and my head was just spinning with thoughts. ''What if I never love anyone the way I love him?'' I whispered, praying that she hadn't heard me but of course she had. ''You won't, honey. You never love the same way twice''.
-Four weeks later-
Six weeks without hearing Harry's voice. Six weeks without his touch, his presence, his love. I wonder how he's doing. I'm not doing so well. The guilt is drowning me. And Harry doesn't even know what I did. I wonder if Niall told him? Probably not. A thing like that would probably end One Direction. But I mean now that it's official they're taking a break maybe it doesn't matter. Sophia called last night, apparently she had broken up with Liam. Poor Liam. First Danielle breaking up with him and now Sophia. I'm all caught up in my own shit I don't even bother taking sides. When did I become a cold hearted person? Probably the night I slept with Niall. My thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the front door. I dragged myself out of the bed and put on a robe before opening the door. Two men in army uniforms with serious faces looked at me, ''Lucy Wellington?'' one of them asked and I nodded. ''We have some bad news'' he said and my heart just sank.
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