Silent Laughter (Louis Tomlinson) [BOOK 3]
I begin swinging my legs back and forth as I remain seated on the bench alone, waiting and waiting and waiting as I usually do for my 'session'.
My black longboard covered with several band stickers is laying next to me where Coop usually sits and my dry erase board is resting on my lap like a lazy ass.
Coop was not able to take me today since he had to take Izzy to the hospital for her monthly check up, their mum not being able to due to her business trip in Austria.
I really don't mind coming alone. My headphones are placed in my ears, my phone in the front pocket of my baggy light denim colored jeans and it's tranquil in a way.
The Muse is playing poetically in my ears and my head is moving slightly with the beat, bobbing up and down with the rhythm.
"Damn you. No. You know what? Fuck you! You're a piece of shit and I am done with you."
What the fuck?
I quickly pull out my headphones, the music still playing as the ear buds now rest on my lap on top of the board.
I look around me, some other people that are waiting their turn with their therapist as well, not really giving a shit about the noise.
I hear the door across the hall from me open abruptly and I turn my attention to that recognizable door, hearing the recognizable voices.
It seems as if it's like routine to him.
He comes, curses the therapist out, the therapist tries stopping him, he curses him again, shuts the door hard, and walks off with the grumpiest ass face.
"Louis. You have to be rational here! You can't just go whenever you please! The session has not ended yet!"
And there it is.
I kinda feel bad for the pudgy guy, but then again I could also give less of a shit.
Louis walks a few inches from the door before stopping and turning around.
"You don't understand! None of you people understand anything that's happening and that's the fucking problem! So if I want to fucking go, I'm going to fucking go!"
And there it is again.
Now all we need is the-
Yeah there it is.
I quickly look down at my lap so he won't notice my eaves dropping, slowly glancing up a little. Barely actually. Hardly noticeable.
"I know you've been watching."
I bring my head back up completely to see his arms crossed over his chest, his eyebrows knitted together as he evidently tries calming himself down.
I just shrug and he rolls his eyes in annoyance, his hand running up and down his face in frustration.
Oh that grumpiness. How you have returned.
I roll my own eyes before placing my head phones back in my ears, the music continuing to play and my eyes closing shut as I try to focus on the guitar solo.
God, this music is like that fucking corn bread.
Now I'm craving corn bread.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and I open my eyes to see Louis now closer to me, his fingers pushing his hair that's resting on his forehead more to the left.
He takes a deep breath and I take off one of my headphones.
I have no time for his shit. I thought he was kinda cool but if he fucks our whole non friendship up, I would've wasted my time on him.
"Where are you going now?" He asks and this time my eyebrows knit together before I slide my phone out of my pocket and pause the music.
My eyes go from him to the door on my right, trying to give him the hint that I'm here for fucking therapy (well unnecessary therapy but still.).
He looks over at the door too before he looks back at me.
"What are you planning to do after this shit?" He questions, his arms now dropping to his sides with his hands slipping themselves in his pockets.
Why the hell does he want to know?
Is he going to fucking stalk me or some shit?
"Well?" He asks.
Damn. This kid has more attitude than me and that's saying something.
I shrug mentally before pulling out my purple marker from my back pocket, un capping it and writing on the board.
When I'm done, I show it to him, his eyes following each letter of my sentence.
'Seeing my friends.' I wrote.
His eyes meet mine again.
"Do one of these friends happen to be your 'boyfriend'?" He asks, sounding more as a sarcastic and rhetorical statement than an actual question.
"You know. Your 'boyfriend'. The one that was chatting with a closeted gay football player yesterday, completely ignoring you." He adds, getting on my nerves.
I roll my eyes again and he chuckles.
"I'm taking that as a yes."
'And?' I mouth,
He continues smiling this snarky ass smile.
Even his fucking smile has attitude.
"And what are you going to do with him?" He questions, adding on to the interview about my life.
I look down to my board and with the sleeve of my you suck hoodie, I begin erasing the writing from before.
'Not just with him, with someone else too and I'm guessing we're just going to hang out together.'
He nods, looking back at the door beside me for just a second.
"Let's go then."
His eyes meet mine and I just begin laughing, his face still looking completely serious.
What the fuck.
I raise an eyebrow and he motions me to stand up.
"Come on. Let's just go to your fake boyfriend and the someone else person."
My eyes narrow at him in confusion.
'Now?' I mouth.
He nods before grabbing my dry erase board in one hand and my longboard in the other.
If I would speak, I would scream at him or curse him out for touching my stuff like that, but you know I can't, so as he begins walking off, I just run after him.
I tug at his shirt a little from behind and he stops, turning around.
'What?' I mock him in a silent mock, my eyes going to my things before I turn around and point towards my therapist's door.
"Who cares. It's just one day. Live a little."
My mum would fucking kick my ass if she found out I skipped.
"How old are you anyway? Eighteen?"
I shake my head, pointing up two fingers with my left hand and my right forming an o.
"Even worse. You're fucking twenty and still can't just take a day off from this crap if you want. Shame."
His lips scrunch together and he shakes his head, making a tsk tsk sound that's putting me on edge.
I can do whatever the fuck I want.
It's not like I'm a baby anymore.
A fucking adult is what I am.
I drink coffee. I used to have a job, but still anyway. I can make my own decisions.
I glance back at the door before finally grabbing his free hand and dragging him out towards the back of the building to avoid the paparazzi that are outside as always.
I quickly stop in place and I raise an eyebrow, hoping Patricia or Dr. Kanwell as she prefers, doesn't come out and begin searching for me.
Louis' eyes look down to our hands and his own eyebrow raises, a smug ass smile on his face.
"If you're going to hold my hand, at least buy me dinner first."
I just scoff before releasing my hand and continuing to walk, not really caring if he follows or not.
Well actually... He's holding my stuff so he better fucking catch up.
"So where did ya get this hoodie anyway?"
We have been walking for about twenty minutes now, the weather looking beautifully shitty and cloudy as always and a beautiful (I must admit) shit right beside me, now wearing my jacket with the hood over his head so it would make him less noticeable.
Didn't want to lend him it at first, but he wouldn't fucking shutup about it, so I really had no choice.
My longboard is still in his hold, but my dry erase board and marker are now in mine.
I stop for a second, writing down my answer before showing it to him, feeling slightly cold since I am now only wearing my plain black tank top.
'Some thrift shop.' I answer and he just nods, his eyes looking me up and down.
"Didn't think a hot girl like you would be shopping at stores like that."
I roll my eyes at him for the millionth time, smirking a little before using my thumb to erase my writing.
'If you're going to check me out, at least buy me dinner first.' My new sentence reads, repeating somewhat of his sentence from before.
As his eyes glide along the words, a big smile begins revealing itself on his lips.
He releases a chuckle.
"You got me there."
I just wink at him before walking again, him following along.
The sound of his feet dragging themselves along the cracked sidewalk mixed with the sound of the slight wind that is beginning to blow around us is quite soothing in a strange way and I can't help but smile a little.
The hospital is near this neighborhood that is not the best; pieces of glass belonging to alcoholic beverages are scattered practically everywhere and the houses all need repainting and some fixing up.
I guess that's why the hospital is so close. A lot of shit must happen to people here.
The nearer I'm getting to this place, the more I'm regretting my decision of taking this guy along with me. I mean I heard that he's a douche to fans and just people in general and I don't know what he's going to say to Izzy when he sees her or how's he's going to react when he realizes that I'm taking him to a hospital.
I mean he hasn't complained about the location of the place.
Not at all.
He's probably used to all these extravagant places and I don't know... I kind of expected him to at least make one comment about how crappy this place is or something like some spoiled brat.
Nothing at all.
"Looks like it's going to rain today." I hear him comment and I stop momentarily so he can catch up and I can hear him better.
I glance to the left before looking at the gray sky.
'Yeah.' I mouth, not knowing if he's even paying attention to me anymore.
"No sucky pictures today?"
I chuckle, shaking my head a little, goosebumps forming on my skin as a breeze hits us. Fuck it's cold.
"Shit. Um here, why didn't you tell me?" He questions, a little bit of guilt flashing on his face.
'How the fuck am I supposed to tell you If i can't even fucking talk.' Is what I want to say, but I don't want to seem like a bitch, so I bite my tongue.
Instead I shrug, shivering a little before he begins taking off my hoodie, grabbing my board and marker from my hands as well so I can pull on my jacket properly.
'Thanks.' I mouth when I'm done.
He nods, tangling his fingers through his hair before handing me back my board.
He's wearing some short sleeved faded red shirt and I know for damn sure that he's now cold too.
By the way his body is now shifting awkwardly, I can tell that he's trying not to show how uncomfortable he actually is right now with the weather, so I just scoot closer to him, wrapping my left arm completely around his body as much as I can with my board in my right hand.
It's not really much, but it's better than nothing.
I would've let him continue wearing my jacket, but my jeans are as thin as fucking paper right now and my equally as thin tank too is not really helping my own comfort.
Yeah I'm selfish in that aspect.
"What are you doing?"
My head is laying on his right arm as I continue trying to stretch my left arm around him as much as I can.
'You. Warm.' I mouth, my head tilted up so he can see my lips and his tilted down so he can see my lips.
Yeah it wasn't really a coherent sentence. Sounded like a Tarzan sentence actually. But I'm kinda tired of stopping all the time and I really just want to see Izzy, so to write on my board would take a while and I don't really think he would really understand me if I mouthed a long ass explanation about what I'm doing.
I'm not even a good lip mouther to begin with.
His eyes narrow for a second in concentration on me and his right arm goes around my body, bringing me closer to his side.
"What's your name? I just realized that I've already seen you a few times and I haven't even asked."
This time I do stop, realizing he's correct.
I'm pretty much introducing this guy to my two most cherished people, and he doesn't even know my name.
I have to stop for this.
I write it down and when I show it to him, he grabs the board out of my hand this time.
"Winnie." He reads aloud, keeping this rare serious face I have just witnessed for the first time on him.
But I'm not complaining.
He looks back at me and smiles softly, before snatching the marker from my hand and writing something down, handing it back to me soon after.
'Hi Winnie. I'm Louis.'
I stare at the writing a while longer, my face now serious before I feel his arm wrap around my body again, me doing the same soon after.
"We're at a hospital Winifred." He states, as his eyes just gape at the big building that is now in front of us.
His eyebrows are knitted together and I can practically feel his confusion.
He turns his head to the side, looking down at me slightly (not that much since I am almost as tall as him.).
I just nod with no emotion really at all.
Like yeah. We're at a hospital.
How does someone really react to that?
"I thought we were meeting up with you-"
My eyes land back on the building and I just nod again before shaking his arm off of me and snatching the remainder of my belongings from his hold.
"Wait. Is your guy friend injured or something? I mean he was fine yesterday."
I look back at him and I shake my head, waiting for him to realize the big picture of why I'm here and for him to just leave me be.
"Well whatever. Just lead the way I guess."
His tone sounds unsure and kind of curious in a way, and I know he doesn't really want to be here.
Who does enjoy being at a hospital to begin with anyway?
But when I see the waiting look in his eyes, I just decide to go along with it.
Well along with whatever is happening.
"And here. I can hold some stuff you know."
I feel him grab some things from my arms before he rolls his eyes and begins walking through the entrance.
I shrug and just follow along.
The smell of antibiotics and post vomiting is lingering in the hall and it's routinely atrocious.
But I mean this is the oncology section of the joint, so it's not surprising.
But it is to Louis obviously due to his scrunched up nose and squinted eyes.
He still remains silent though which is respectable of him I guess.
I kinda have a love/hate relationship for hospitals. I mean it has its pros and cons as does everything in this world.
- Met Iz and Coop here.
- Obtains these cool antibacterial dispensers that dispense automatically when your hand simply glides right beneath it. Makes me feel like some magical being. Like Thor or something.
-It's saving one of my best friends.
-People are too indulged in the presence of the person that is very sick or harshly ill beside them that they don't even acknowledge the presence of anyone else really since their loved one or whatever is what's most important at the moment. It's kinda a bitter sweet thing. And because of it, Louis didn't really get stopped as much for pictures and shit. Well because of that and also because for some reason, people seem to fear him...
-A lot of bad crap begins and ends here.
-Sucky ass food.
-Uncomfortable chairs that make your butt hurt.
-And just the symbol it represents. For some, it symbolizes safety, but to me it symbolizes despair. I mean when I was little and practically lived here, I would get woken up by the sound of sobs and beeping heart monitors that seemed more as reapers than machines.
As we stop in front of Izzy's check up room, I just take a deep breath. I know it's just a check up an all, but after seeing your closest friend close to death more than once, a closed hospital door really plays with a girl's emotions.
"Your friend... Um..."
I look over at the blue eyed man child, some of his hair falling over his eyes.
'Yup.' I mouth.
I mean, we are in the oncology section. I think that's what his question had to do with.
He just nods before blinking twice.
'Yeah.' I mouth back, before finally opening the door, seeing a very charismatic Izzy listening to some music through her headphones with her eyes closed and her smile evident, along with the wheelchair she is placed in.
Coop is sitting in a chair in the corner, his eyes on his phone.
I just knock on the already opened door, gaining Izzy and Coop's attention with a side of what the fuck from Coop when he notices Louis.
I point outwards, my index finger being the only one in a point form while the others remain fisted together. My hands then open completely along side each other and they look as if they are holding some imaginary object as I pull them to my chest. With my right hand closed, I point my index finger up and with my other hand in the same pose, I poke my right index finger with my left. Then with my hands in the same position still, I point them out and then I point at myself.
In other words, I pretty much signed Coop that this kid just simply wanted to come along.
Coop glances at Louis again, before looking at Izzy and then finally back at me.
He rolls his eyes and I do the same before ignoring everyone in the room like how hospital people do and I hug my best friend.
"I think people are watching us." Louis announces as we continue hand picking petalled weeds from the vegetation surrounding the building outside, both of us on our knees.
I shrug and he sighs.
You know, our usual thing.
Pretty much after about seventeen minutes of Izzy giggling like the starstruck teen she is when seeing Louis, along with Louis chatting on about how cool her red vans are, Izzy actually remembered I was in the same room and mentioned how the flowers that one of the nurses placed in a nearly clean glass cup are making her feel nauseous.
Louis thought it was because she was allergic or something and was about to even complain, but when Coop just explained how the flower thing is a me thing and how Izzy likes things and my thoughts on things, he stopped.
I saw how good Louis and Izzy were getting along and I didn't really want to interrupt that since even though he may be only talking to her due to her mis fortune, she doesn't really ever have the chance to meet new people and she was smiling very wide and I didn't want to change that so I just went to go get the weeds myself.
Coop doesn't like getting his pants dirty and I knew he was texting his hot football guy so I didn't want to bother him at all, so yeah I was just there outside the hospital, picking weeds while listening to Oasis like a normal teenage girl, minding my own business until he appeared.
Well kinda forcefully appeared.
I've begun to notice how this guy is forward with everything.
He just took one of my ear buds from my ears and placed it in his own and just began searching with me without us really saying a word until now.
I see him pull out a pink little outcasted plant, grunting slightly as he does so with force and placing it aside on the grass beside his knees.
I pull some out myself and before I know it, I feel him poke my shoulder.
"What song is this?"
I take out my phone from my pocket and I show him the screen that reveals the name and artist of this beautiful masterpiece.
He nods, impressed.
"Oasis huh? Usually chics that say they dig Oasis only know one song. And the most mainstream one at that. So I'm impressed."
I notice a small crowd begin to surround us, taking pictures and chattering from afar, but neither of us really acknowledge it.
I snort at his narcissistic remark, rolling my eyes.
Been doing that a lot lately.
"What? That was a compliment." He states and I quickly look over at him, seeing how he looks a bit offended.
I narrow my eyes at him before sitting myself down on the ground completely, pausing the song and going to my notes.
"Hey, why'd yo-"
I place my index finger up at him, telling him to just wait a second and he does, watching as I type.
I really hate it when people say that they won't listen to something or just like something because it's 'mainstream'. Or that it's a like a crime if someone likes it, that they are un original or something. But guess what, those people are the ones that actually go on enjoying their lives while people like you are the ones that limit themselves from joy because 'everybody' is doing it. Wonderwall happened to be the first song I listened to by them, and I have it on my phone and often listen to it from time to time. It makes me happy as it does for many people. What's the big fucking problem with that? You need to open your eyes and realize that you saying something is mainstream is actually the most hypocritical thing to say since you are in fact 'mainstream' for even announcing something as such. So get over it.
I see his eyebrows raise as his eyes go over certain parts of my response, and I just continue picking the weeds.
Sure I may seem kinda bitchy, but it's the truth.
"Well, that's a very interesting way of seeing it. Are you always this over thoughtful?"
I feel my hand stop over a stem and I turn my head, narrowing my eyes in frustration at the boy.
'I don't overthink.' My lips form.
He forces a chuckle.
"Yeah. Mhmm. Right. And we're not picking weeds in the front of a fucking hospital because they have some deep ass meaning to you."
I just kinda gape at him, not knowing how to respond since he is sorta right, but not at the same time.
I don't think I overthink.
I mean what he calls overthinking, I call being observant.
'Whatever.' I mouth.
He chuckles a little as some sort of victory and I go back to work, grabbing three at the same time and noticing how my hands are now full.
I sigh before holding all the plants together in a form of a bouquet and handing it to Louis so he can hold them for me as I pick more.
He gasps, taking them from my hands slowly.
"Are you flirting with me?"
I turn my head to look at him and I notice the stupid smile on his face that makes him look more attractive than he already is and I feel my lips beginning to smile a little as well.
'Shutup.' I mouth, chuckling slightly.
He laughs and we both turn back, my smile now evident on my face.
I glance at him secretively for one quick second before realizing how my headphone is still in his ear.
I quickly scroll through my phone and I select a song, already trying to hold back my laughter.
'Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do-'
Louis' body freezes and he just closes his eyes before shaking his head in disapproval.
"Oh Winifred. First the weeds and now your brilliant humor. I think I'm in love."
I roll my eyes again before raising the volume while continuing to stain my old jeans with the land's soil, both of us humming along.