Louis’ POV

“No, but mum. I know I made an agreement about the two months, but I just don’t think I can handle it anymore. I mean news got out about Harry anyway, and this place is just major shit!”

I hear her take a deep breath through the line.

“I know, Louis. But sweetie I just don’t know what else to tell you. You’re going to have to deal with it a while longer. I mean at least you get to play football for a while.”

I continue playing with the loose string on the side of my jeans.

This time I sigh.

“The deal doesn’t seem like it’s going to play out.” I whisper, still disappointed as fuck.

“What do you mean? I thought you finally took ownership. It was all over the papers and everything.”

My eyebrows scrunch up together and I lean my body against the wall, next to the bench, still waiting for this guy to finish his fucking session with the asthmatic kid. Jesus, for an asthmatic kid, he sure fucking punches a lot. He nearly made a dent in the fucking wall last time.

“I just-”

I stop myself as I notice the door across the hall open violently, the Winnie chic storming out with the dry erase board in her hands, being thrown to the floor hastily.

“Um, I'll call you back, mum.” I mutter, not giving her an opportunity to even respond before hanging up.

I cross my arms together and I just kind of view the scene being played before me.

“Ms. Queen. Wait. Your mother won’t like to know that you left again!”

Again, huh?

Winnie stops in place and slides her phone out of her pocket before turning around and walking back to the bitch seeming lady.

She hands the phone to her, and I feel myself raise an eyebrow..

“Ms. Queen, it doesn’t have to be this way. Just come back in and we ca-”
Winnie just continues her action, practically forcing the phone in the woman’s hands.

The woman stays quiet, swallowing hard from frustration.

“You’re being irrational here, Winifred.”

Winnie just leans her face closer to the lady’s in this intimidating like way.

‘Fuck off.’ I think she mouths, before retrieving her phone back and turning around once again, walking down the hall with her head held high and her fists clenched at her sides.

“I just want to help her.”

I turn my attention to her therapist who is just staring at her patient as she continues walking, her arms crossed loosely.

I’m unsure if she was saying that to me or just speaking to herself, but I just look away anyway, not really caring.

This chic probably is here for anger management too and this woman pissed her off somehow.

Reminds me of someone.

Maybe me and this mute girl have more in common than I think.

I release one chuckle from my lips at the thought before I finally hear the door beside me open.

“Mr. Tomlinson?”

I just continue looking down the hall for a few more seconds, seeing how her thick dirty blonde hair is just bouncing as she finally hits the end of this hell hole, her body finally disappearing.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

…

I really need a fucking smoke.

I’ve been having the urge all day, and it’s killing me.

Jane keeps on fucking nagging the hell out of me that I’m going to get sick and shit, but I mean she’s not my fucking mother and she should should worry more about her drinking. I’ve seen those pictures of her recently and there always seems to be a drink in her hand. She needs to calm the hell down with that.

My hand reaches into my pocket as I slip out my room key, moderately sliding it across this thing right beside the door handle before letting myself in.

“Hey, mate.”

I practically fall on my arse as I notice Zayn sitting at the edge of my bed, scaring the living shit out of me.

“What the fuck, bro?!” I respond as I get myself up, my bum now hurting.

Well I guess I actually did fall completely on my ass.

Just dandy.

The lil bitch just laughs a little and I flick him off.

“Woah, I came here thinking you would like be surprised and happy and shit to see me.” He states as I walk to the wall across from him, leaning my body against it.

“Well I was fucking surprised.”

He laughs again.

“Don’t forget about the happy part.” He states.

I roll my eyes.

“How’d you get into my room ya cunt?” I say, smiling slightly at his presence.

He smiles too as he just takes out a card.

“Garett?” I question.

Garett’s one of my bodyguards that happens to be mates with Zayn.

Unfortunately.

He shrugs before placing the plastic rectangle back in his pocket.

“Maybe.”

I raise my eyebrows, rolling my eyes in the process.

“Well glad to know he’s not easily persuaded.” I comment, Zayn rolling his own eyes before
finally getting up.

“I came here to see you, douche. A hi, would be nice.”

I shrug jokingly, before smiling again and hugging him, patting his back before we both pull away.

“How’s everyone?” I question, changing the subject.

His lips scrunch up together as he begins thinking.

“Fine I guess. Niall went to go see Eli for a few and Liam’s looking for a new place in London.

He was actually gonna like come with, but the realtor needed to speak with him.”

I just nod, placing my hands in my pockets.

“And the other one? Is he-”

Zayn smiles softly.

“Yeah. He’s doing better. Had a few marks, but not as many as before. He’s with Gemma right now actually.”

I nod again.

“Good. That’s good I guess.” I say, not really knowing how else to respond.

Harry’s been having troubles, deep dark troubles and I’m just trying to do the most that I can
to make sure he gets out of that funk. One of the reasons why I even got into this whole therapy shit in the first place.

But of course, everything messes up anyway and now I’m just here like a chained up bitch.

“How about you, man? I heard about the football thing. Congrats. When can I get a look at your stadium?”

His smile is wide and that’s one reason why I like hanging with Zayn.

He’s always happy when others are and is supportive as fuck.

I feel my smile vanish for a little, quickly recovering though.

“S’ fine. Thanks and I would show you right now, but they’re doing um renovations. The seats need major cleaning.” I lie my ass off.

Yes, I know that was messed up to do, but I have dignity.

And anyways, I’m going to fix this whole thing.

I will be owner.

This team, this town...they need me. I can help them get back on their feet and I just have to do it.

For them.

For my childhood.

He nods.

“How’s the fiance doing?” I now ask.

His body stiffens for a bit and he does that chuckling and scratching of the head thing he always does when he doesn’t want to talk about things.

My eyebrows furrow together and my face becomes serious.

“Spill.” I state.

He continues doing the thing.

“There’s nothing really to spill. I mean I’m fine and she still says yes.”
I raise an eyebrow.

“What do you mean she still says yes?”

“To us getting married. Like she didn’t change her answer.”

“Is there any thing that happened that could’ve changed her answer?”

His uncomfortable chuckles begin dying and his hand lowers to his own pocket, mirroring my actions.

“Look. Why don’t we just play some Fifa and smoke some?”

His eyes look almost pleading and like the caring dick that I am, I was about to refuse until I noticed the pack of cigs he has hidden under his long black t-shirt.

“Fine.”

…

“You’re off your game today, mate. I mean you’ve never been down by fucking seven.” He comments, taking a sip of his beer before placing the controller on his lap.

“I’m tired. What do you fucking expect?”

I kill the tip of the cigarette in the ashtray on the small table in front of us, coughing a bit.

“But I mean come on bro, you obviously didn’t even have practice today. You’re like leaving me hanging here.”

I yawn, before shrugging, placing my own controller on my lap before laying my head back on the couch lazily.

“I’m just mentally exhausted. Like these sessions are killing me. You have no idea.” I say, closing my eyes for a bit.

Having to deal with Dr. Hane with his lectures and assumptions about the type of person your are is like running a damn marathon.

“What do they make you do there anyway?” He questions, drinking the last of the alcohol from the clear glass bottle.

“It’s more like what they try to make me do.”

Zayn adjusts himself, turning his body more towards me now in interest.

I mean I lost practically every game in Fifa, so I would see how my stories about hell would be the most exciting thing that has happened today.

I take a deep breath.

“It’s pretty much like an annoying ass interview everyday an-”

“You mean the ones you never show up to anymore?” He interrupts, taking me a little off guard.

His eyes are a little narrowed at me, in his little ‘I’m judging you.’ way and I want it to stop.

“Shut up. Do you want me to talk about it or not?”
He rolls his eyes, the sarcasm still there.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll shut up. Go.”

I nod, feeling a little guilty now about the whole interview thing.

I know I should be there with the guys to support them and all, but I’m just so done with people asking me the same damn questions and I’m so tired of those judgemental fans and paparazzi that think they know us more than ourselves.

I’m just so done.

“He thinks I have like this deep self conscious dilemma with myself that since I don’t want to admit yet, triggers my hatred for the world or whatever.”

“Is that what he told you?”

“Yup.”

He lays his face on the side of the couch, his legs now resting on the table.

“Well, it kind of sounds like you.”

I feel my eyes widen and I even do a double take.

“What? You think I’m some low self esteemed jack ass?”
He sighs, lifting his head from the cushion, so he can look more serious I guess.

“No it’s just- Look. First, you need to calm down because you always jump to conclusions. Let me explain.”

I huff, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“I mean you were never like-”

He begins gesturing his hand towards me.

“This.” He adds.

“This? What the fuck do you mean?”

I heard that smoking damages your brain cells, maybe after all those cigs, it got to him a little.

“I told you to calm down. Geez. Calm the hell down for once. Like that’s an example! You never used to be like so defensive like that, man. You used to crack jokes all the time and not suck at Fifa.”

“Holy shit, I’ll practice playing that fucking video game more. Dear God, will that make you get out of my ass?”

He shakes his head quickly out of frustration.

I don’t understand where he’s going with this.

Yes, I used to make jokes all the time, but I mean I was an immature idiot.

I mean I guess I’m still an idiot. We all are a bunch of idiots, but I’m an idiot that finally got a glimpse of reality and knows when to turn on the ‘idiot’ switch.

“That’s not what I mean, Lou. Like it’s just an example. You let all of this stress and anger take over you sometimes that it’s like you just give up. On everything.”

I remain silent for a while, not believing that he actually thinks this about me.

“I’m not weak, Zayn. Okay, I just don’t want to deal with horrible shit sometimes, so I get myself out of it to save myself from even more drama. I’m not giving up, I’m fucking surviving.
There’s a difference.”

He raises his eyebrows in that sarcastic way and I know that he doesn’t believe me.

“Just ease up a little. Okay? I know you don’t like the press but maybe when you head back, you can at least do some interviews, do some meet and greets. You know?”

I sigh, rubbing my face with my hand.

“I-I’ll try. But I can’t promise you anything.” I lie.

I promise I won’t do any of that shit again.

He gives me a satisfied smirk.

“Well I guess that’s like better than nothing. I’ll take it.”

I laugh a little and he laughs a little as well.

“So tell me. Any babes at therapy?”

I snort.

“Yup plenty. Models all around. There’s this one, Zayn that I mean damn. When she crouches into a corner and screams, it’s just such a major turn on.” I joke, feeling a little like a dick after the words release from my mouth.

I just made fun of a sick girl.

But, Zayn seems to be laughing.

“You’re a dick.” He states, laughing and shaking his head in disapproval.

I just force a smile.

Yup, I know.

“No, but seriously. Any players got some fit sisters or anything? Come on. Liam and I are beginning to think you’ve got no game. You haven’t been with a chic since Hannah, and that was like in 2010.”

“That’s not true! I mean I’ve hooked up with some girl at a club that one time. Remember?”

He chuckles.

“Mate, that was like a year ago and you just made out with her. You didn’t like get her number or anything.”

I scowl at him.

How the fuck would he know?

“How the fuck would you know? You were probably drunk off your ass.”

He just chuckles.

“I was driving that night. I only had like two drinks and that was it. I was buzzed, minimum. Bro, you were practically falling everywhere. And Liam and I saw everything. You didn’t even reach second base with her. It was like watching two zombies eating each others faces man.”

I narrow my eyes at him before shrugging.

“What’s your point?” I ask, feeling slightly embarrassed not gonna lie.

“You need to start hitting some girls up. Maybe later we can go to the pub and you can actually socialize for once.”

“I socialize.”

He gives me yet another iconic Zayn look. The look that says ‘Really, bro. Really.’

“Besides Stan, Jane, your mum, and us, I don’t see you chatter with anyone.”

“I socialize.” I repeat, my tone becoming more defensive.

He forces a laugh.

“Who then?”

I open my mouth, but quickly close it since I know that if I say Garett, he’ll know that I’m lying. I fucking hate Garett.

Who do I talk to…

Dr. Hane definitely does not fucking count.

Everyone in the Rovers wants to pretty much chop my balls off.
Hmm…

“See. I knew you d-”

“Winifred.” I blurt out, not really thinking my answer.

Well I mean I do sorta talk to her…

I only do it cause of the plan, but still.

She’s not all that bad to talk to.

“Winifred?”

“Yup. Winifred, my dear friend.”

He takes his legs off the table before getting himself off the couch, walking to the small fridge in the corner of the room.

“Who’s that?” He questions, practically mooning me as he bends down to get out yet another beer.

“Some girl I met at the therapy place.”

He just smiles, sitting himself back down next to me.

“So you did meet a chic at therapy.”

I nod.

“Well then, is she fit?”

He pops open the bottle with his bottle opener key chain he has in his pocket. Garett got it for him as a birthday present. Loser. Who the fuck buys someone a fucking bottle opener key chain?

Garett.

That’s who.

“She’s alright. Has a nice face I guess, nice blue eyes.”

He nods again, taking a sip of his drink.

“Is she um, you know.”

He circles his index finger towards his head, asking if she’s crazy.

“Nah. She’s normal man. Well I mean normal in the sense of her health.”
He crosses his leg over the other, a trait he got from his oh so beloved fiance.
He’s so whipped.

“What do you mean?”

I sit myself up straight, holding my hands with one another on my lap.

I lick my dry lips a little.

“Well like, she takes sucky ass photographs in the rain, has some deep connection or something with weeds, hates flowers, loves Elvis and Marvel, rides a longboard, and pretty much has an answer for absolutely everything.”

That girl always has something to say, and I mean that’s not really a bad thing, but…
It can get annoying.

“Well um she sounds interesting.” He comments.

“Yeah. She is something. And she stole my lighter.”

He covers his mouth a little, as he tries to contain his laughter, a few drops releasing from his lips in the process.

“She what?”

I smile a little, my eyebrows raising and my shoulders shrugging.

“She stole my lighter.” I repeat, beginning to laugh briefly.

“Oh. She’s a real keeper, Lou.” He remarks, winking and wiping off the moisture from around his mouth with the back of his hand.

I shrug again.

“It’s not really a big deal. Got a new one.” I say, calming myself down.

Idiot switch now in between on and off.

“But, you remember who gave that to you right?”

Does he think I’m stupid or something?

“Yeah. Jane. Why the fuck does that matter?”

He takes another sip.

“Well let’s see. You fancied her practically all this year and you pretty much talk to her everyday. It didn’t like piss you off that some stranger took an item that was like given to you by someone you really care about?”

Oh, Lord. Not this again.

“I thought we’ve been over this. I’m over all of that. I just felt that way because she was really the only girl that I would talk to and she just happened to be pretty. It’s done. She’s just a friend to me. Nothing more. And I’m going to get my lighter back. I just want to have a little fun with her first before I do.”

He gives me a lost look.

“Fun? What do you mean?”

I laugh a little to myself.

“That’s for me to know and for her to find out.”

The lighter thing is kind of like a back up plan I haven’t fully come up with.

“Don’t be a jerk to her, bro.” He states, sounding a little concerned for a girl he doesn’t know anything about.

But then again, this is Zayn we’re talking about.

“Calm down. I won’t.”

He just nods, observing me for some weird reason before placing the bottle to his lips again.

“Well then.” He begins, I raise an eyebrow.

“You said she’s cool right?”

“Um, yeah.”

He smiles.

“Do you know where she lives?”

...

"What the fuck do I say? What if she doesn't want to even come? This is stupid, Zayn. I mean what if she rats out our location and the paps and fans c-"

"Lou, calm down. If she says no, then we move on with our lives. No biggy." He says reassuringly placing his hand on my shoulder.

I just sigh, unbuckling my seat belt.

I turn to him again.

"You didn't answer my other questions though."

He rolls his eyes.

"Just go!"

He takes off his hand and moves it to my back, trying to push me out.

"Alright. Alright. Damn."

I move some of my hair out of my face and I take a deep breath as I step out of the passenger's seat, my feet now stepping on her drive way.

There aren't any cars here.

Fuck, she's probably not here.
She's probably with the Coop guy and the nice Izzy girl.

I look back at Zayn for just a moment and he quickly rolls down his window.

"Just fucking go!" He yells, and I just nod.

God, this is all Garett's fault.

Why did he have to remember the address.

Fuck.

I fucking hate Garett.

I feel my hand form into a fist when I reach the door.

Calm down man.

Breathe.

I knock.

Three times though.

I don't think that's really that annoying.

After a few seconds of silence, I decide to ring the door bell.

"I'm coming!"

I jump a little at the sudden voice coming from behind the door.

Yeah, well that's definitely not Winnie.

"Who are you?" A short woman with a thick Russian accent answers my call, her face looking unsatisfied and frustrated.

"Well?"

I realize I haven't answered and I clear my throat.

"I'm Louis. Is, Winnie here?"

My foot just randomly begins tapping on the floor impatiently, and the woman just stares at me with the same exact emotion as before.

"Yes, she's here."

I begin to kind of look around her, waiting for her to actually call the girl or to welcome me in, or just anything.

"Um, can you call her over for me? Please."

This woman is starting to annoy me and I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.

She rolls her eyes and sighs, before telling me to hold on and closing the door slightly, her body disappearing.

I just stay there awkwardly, my hands holding one another uncomfortably.
Why did I agree to this again?

"Here she is."

I notice how my eyes were momentarily on the ground and I look up to see her.
She's wearing a black, oversized tank top that has a pocket on the right side of her chest, the shirt reaching her mid thigh as well as red plaid skinny jeans and plain white socks.
Her hair is in some messy ass braid, making her look as if she just woke up.

"Um, hey." I say, my hands now separating themselves so I seem more calm.

Her eyes roam up and down my body, and her eyebrows knit together in a confused way.

'Hi.' she mouths.

I force a smile and she just glances at the Russian lady who is standing right beside her, looking as if she doesn't know what else to say to me.

"Um I was wondering if you wanted to chill or something with me and my friend." I speak up again, receiving her attention.

Her face relaxes, and her blue eyes look straight into mine.

She just shrugs.

'I can't.' Her lips form.

I feel my mouth separate as I try to come up with a thing to say.

"Um. Yeah. I- why can't you?"

I push a few hairs away again.

I would've usually have left it alone there, you know? I mean if they say no than it's not really any of my business as to why, but I haven't really talked to her since that hospital thing and I just kind of want to see her talk about something again. I don't know. Her observations are interesting to me I guess.

She looks at me confused again before shaking her head slightly and looking yet again at that short woman.

"Her mother won't allow her to leave the house." The woman answers for her, and this time I have the confused look.

"What? I thought you were like twenty?"

She sighs and just shrugs again.

I just remain there quiet, the only audible sound being the wind hitting the leaves of the trees surrounding this grand estate.

"Okay. Well I guess I'll be going. See you at the hell center tomorrow I guess."

I give an awkward wave, before turning around, and walking with my hands in my pockets.
I notice Zayn nudging his head up in a questioning way from the driver's seat and I just shake my head.

"Wait! Lewis!"

I turn around to see the Russian lady cupping her hands around her mouth, trying to get my attention.

"It's Louis!" I yell back, smiling a little.

"Yeah! Whatever! She's just getting her shoes and then she's coming!"

I nod and give her a thumbs up, before turning back to Zayn and shrugging, not being able to stop smiling for some reason.

Notes