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My Best Friend's Sister

Nice Job

Luke's POV
Miss. Pettigrow kept talking about how this is an actual class and how we'll take test and all that shit but me and Vanessa are having a staring contest. And... she's winning because the more I stare into those deep grey eyes, the more I get lost in thought.

"Vanessa, can you pass the syllabuses out?" Miss. Pettigrow asked and I blinked.

"Of course," she said with a smirk.

She got up and took a stack of papers from the desk beside hers and began to pass them out. When she got to me, she bent down into my ear.

"It's not nice to stare, Hemmings," she said seductively. I think she said it seductively.

On the other hand, she knows my name! Well, just my last name but who cares? She knows! She handed me a paper and I looked back at her and winked. She rolled her eyes and continued handing out syllabuses.

Heather's POV

Just now, Ashton came into the supply closet.

To Nessy: i gtg tell me later

From Nessy: alright byeee

Vanessa still doesn't know that me and Ashton hooked up two months ago. I want to tell her but Ashton says that he'll ease the topic to her. I just hope she doesn't get mad at me.

"Hey babe," Ashton says before he crashes his lips into mine. He lifts my leg up and starts to grind on me.

Ashton and I got together over the summer when I slept over their place and since then he couldn't keep his hands off of me.

I began to take off his shirt and he did the same to me, leaving me in my bra. He bit his bottom lip and then attacked my neck.

I know it's wrong but I can't help it. Ashton is hot. I'm sorry Vanessa.

Vanessa's POV
The bell had rung and I got out of the class until I felt hands grab my waist.

"Where are you going?" Ryan asked with a seductive smile.

"Nowhere now," The he kissed me. Ryan's kisses are full of passion and lust. He makes me want to melt. He broke the kiss and we began walking to the cafeteria with his arm wrapped around my waist.

I don't get why Ashton doesn't like him. He has a nice personality and gets along with everyone. What is it Ashton sees in him that I don't? And everytime Ashton and Ryan are alone, Ryan starts the conversation and Ashton just ruins it by either saying 'yeah' or nothing at all. Ryan knows that Ashton hates him, but he tells me it's natural for brothers to be protective of their sisters. But Ashton hasn't acted like this with my past boyfriends.

Either Ashton's hiding something from me or Ryan's hiding something.

Maybe they both are...

Luke's POV
The bell had rung and I got my stuff to try to catch up with Vanessa. I stopped when I got 10 feet from the door to see Vanessa and this guy kissing.

Nice job, Luke. Like a girl that has a boyfriend.

Notes

Already 3 chapters in and I have 10 subscribers!
Thank You!

And if you haven't yet, read Before, another fanfic by yours truly: Me!

Nessy

Comments

@Calum Netflix and Pizza
Aww, thanks love. I hope I do too. Love you name by the way.

So I just spent 2 and a half hours reading this story. And I love it. Great job ;) I hope you get out of ur writer funk.

@Lucy Hemmings
I really want you to continue your story but you could use a little tweaking. Me personally, I prefer if you space out your paragraphs and dialogue because it just makes it easier to read and it flows better.

Put more details! The more details the better. Try to connect with not only your readers but with your character because you character's are their own people with minds of their owns. Let the words flow through you and on to the keyboard. Details also makes your chapters longer.

Just look over simple punctuation and grammar errors. Also be sure to note who's POV it is at the top of the page if you want to continue switching POV's.

Other than that, you're pretty solid. I'm sorry if I come out mean. I don't mean to be! I promise. But you have so much potential to be a great writer!

Hakuna Matata,
Vannessa

Hi I love this story its really cool, also I have just written my very first fanfic called Why now? Why today? its a Luke Hemmings fanfic and I would love for u to check it out.