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My Best Friend's Sister

A Surprise?

Ashton's POV
I went to school and Heather immediately found me. "Hey, where's Vanessa?" She asked me.

"She didn't want to come," I said thinking if she was going to be alright.

"Why? Is she okay?" She questioned.

"Yeah, she's okay but Ryan came over last night and put his hands on her and I think she doesn't want to face him today," I said walking down to my class.

"Well, if it helps, Ryan isn't here either," Heather said as we stopped by the lockers.

"I guess he doesn't want to show his face after what I did," I said leaning against a locker.

"You beat him up?" She sounded surprised.

"Yeah, it shouldn't be a surprise. I hate him," I said with utter disgust written on my face and in my voice.

"Its just that he got in a fight with that new kid, Luke, yesterday and got him suspended," she said.

Damnit. I flipped shit on Luke and he was just protecting Vanessa. That's why she didn't got to her classes. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Now I need to apologize.

Luke's POV
I drove Vanessa to a diner I knew was open when I passed by here to pick her up. I stopped the car and got out to her side to open the door. She got out and I closed the door after her. I grabbed her instantly and walked us into the diner.

Holding Vanessa's hand just felt right. They were soft and smooth. Her hands and my hands are a perfect match for each other. I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand.

We sat down at a booth near the bar. Our menu's were set on the table before us by the middle aged waitress.

"So what are you going to get?" I asked her while looking in my own menu..

"I think the... peach and whipped cream pancakes," she said.

"Mmm. That sounds good. But I think I'm going to get the choco-chip pancakes," I said closing the menu and looking back at her.

She was still looking at the menu. She chewed her lip softly and flipped the paged. The Vanessa looked back at me. She blushed and smiled simultaneously. "What?" She said with her million dollar smile.

"Nothing," I lied. I meant to say that she was beautiful but I'm pretty sure she knew that. The waitress appeared again.

"Are you two ready to order?" She asked smacking her gum obnoxiously and with a slight attitude.

"Yes, I would like the choco-chip pancakes and a cup of coffee," I said politely.

"And I would like peach and whipped cream pancakes with a cup of coffee also," she says as nicely.

"I'll be back with your order," Then she left leaving me and Vanessa alone.

"So where else are we going after breakfast?" She said turning to me with my arm around her shoulders.

"Its a surprise," I said simply.

"A surprise?" I she asked with her eyes narrowed, suspicious of me.

"Mmhmm," I said. Then our food and coffee came and we digged in.

She doesn't know what she's in for.

Notes

How'd you guys like the triple update?

Comments

@Calum Netflix and Pizza
Aww, thanks love. I hope I do too. Love you name by the way.

So I just spent 2 and a half hours reading this story. And I love it. Great job ;) I hope you get out of ur writer funk.

@Lucy Hemmings
I really want you to continue your story but you could use a little tweaking. Me personally, I prefer if you space out your paragraphs and dialogue because it just makes it easier to read and it flows better.

Put more details! The more details the better. Try to connect with not only your readers but with your character because you character's are their own people with minds of their owns. Let the words flow through you and on to the keyboard. Details also makes your chapters longer.

Just look over simple punctuation and grammar errors. Also be sure to note who's POV it is at the top of the page if you want to continue switching POV's.

Other than that, you're pretty solid. I'm sorry if I come out mean. I don't mean to be! I promise. But you have so much potential to be a great writer!

Hakuna Matata,
Vannessa

Hi I love this story its really cool, also I have just written my very first fanfic called Why now? Why today? its a Luke Hemmings fanfic and I would love for u to check it out.