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My Best Friend's Sister

The Adventures Continues

Vanessa's POV
After Luke and I hung up, I got in the shower to wash up. Then I slipped on my bra and underwear. I tried to find something to wear. I bit my index finger and walked over to my closet to get my ripped, dark washed, skinny jeans. I got one of my oversized t-shirts that fell off the shoulder on.

I quickly blow dried my hair . I didn't need to curl it since its naturally that way. I applied my usual subtle make up. Mascara, a little foundation, and did a simple cat eye.

I heard the doorbell ring out. I ran downstairs and opened it to find Luke standing there hands in his pockets but when he saw me, his face lit up.

His arms went around me immediately and I hugged him back. His hugs were tight but not too tight where they crushed the life out of me. His arms were strong and I just melted against him to smell the woodsy cologne.

He was the first to break the hug, even though I didn't want it to stop. "So what do you want to do on this day of freedom?" He asked me and I smiled.

"I don't know," I honestly didn't and I was so bored.

"Okay, I think I know what we could do." He said after thinking. "Get your shoes. We're getting breakfast first." He said and I giggled. He's always hungry.

I slipped on my black vans that were by the door. "Ready." I said. Then he took my hand and led me out the house.

Notes

Comments

@Calum Netflix and Pizza
Aww, thanks love. I hope I do too. Love you name by the way.

So I just spent 2 and a half hours reading this story. And I love it. Great job ;) I hope you get out of ur writer funk.

@Lucy Hemmings
I really want you to continue your story but you could use a little tweaking. Me personally, I prefer if you space out your paragraphs and dialogue because it just makes it easier to read and it flows better.

Put more details! The more details the better. Try to connect with not only your readers but with your character because you character's are their own people with minds of their owns. Let the words flow through you and on to the keyboard. Details also makes your chapters longer.

Just look over simple punctuation and grammar errors. Also be sure to note who's POV it is at the top of the page if you want to continue switching POV's.

Other than that, you're pretty solid. I'm sorry if I come out mean. I don't mean to be! I promise. But you have so much potential to be a great writer!

Hakuna Matata,
Vannessa

Hi I love this story its really cool, also I have just written my very first fanfic called Why now? Why today? its a Luke Hemmings fanfic and I would love for u to check it out.