Reviews with the Reader

So far I really like where this story is heading. Since there were only two chapters there are only a few things I have. The length of the chapters is perfect by the way, and there are only few problems so far.

I couldn't help but notice your story, because of the cover art! It's great, although as I said in a previous chapter you are missing a summery under the title page. As readers are scrolling through all of the titles, there are three things they look for: a good title, cool cover art, and a short sentence summery under. You have two of the three, and both are awesome! Maybe you could find a short quote or a line from a poem, that connects to your story, most of time that really draws readers in.

Another thing that I noticed, since your chapters are so long and detailed its easy to make mistakes and miss them. Once you finish a chapter, make sure that you go over it two more times before you publish it. Then if there is a mistake made in the chapter you will catch it, and you save your self from posting something that doesn't make a lot of sense.

So something like:

Then he got down on one knee, looked up in to my watery eyes, and asked,
"Will you berry me?"

See? It kind of ruins the moment. This is just an example, there were moments like this, but these are easy to fix.

Overall I really like where you are going with this! I really think you should expand on to it and make it original. You have got two really good base chapters, and awesome ideas!

Overall rating: 8

Notes

Notes If you do not like the review that was given to you for any reason at all let me know, and I will take it down ASAP. I hope I helped you with creating a better story!


❤ This_Crazy_Girl