Reviews with the Reader

I really like this story so far! You're doing a great job with the plot I can really tell that you put a lot of work in to it.

There were minimal mistakes that I found most of which were grammar; like run-on sentences, coma errors, and misspelled words. Although thoes are easy fixes.

Another thing is that, I feel like you are rushing your story a little bit. If you put more detail and expand the dialog out it will help, because Emma, the main girl, moved in really soon after she met Niall. It's not a huge deal, because things like that can be difficult to fix once there published.

Also when you are just writing, you should try and avoid using slang words. I know people say them when there talking, but it's better to avoid them in writing.

And last but not least! When you use pauses in your writing it can really take away from the story, and I only found one major one that can be easly fixed. I think it was like chapter ten or nine you said somthing along the lines of:

-pause fanfic-

Pretend he said that in his Irish accent.

-play fanfic-

Things like that can take away from you writing. Instead you could try something like:

"Yey!" He replied in his thick Irish accent.

It's an easy fix, and it helps your awesome possum writing flow better.

Other then those little things (haha) your storyline, characters, and writing was great! You deffenatly got a new subscriber!

Overall rating: 8

Notes

If you do not like the review that was given to you for any reason at all let me know, and I will take it down ASAP. I hope I helped you with creating a better story!

❤ This_Crazy_Girl