Reviews with the Reader

I really enjoyed this story! You have done a nice job with the plot and I like the amount of details you have put in to this fan fiction. There were only some minor things that you may want to look at again, but they are extremely easy fixes.

First off, I want you to try and read your chapters out loud before you post them, maybe if you do it twice then you will catch little mistakes. I found some weird pauses and run ons, but thoes are only natural to find. Most people have grammar mistakes, and if they don't, they are probably inhuman and can't be trusted.

Also I saw this once or twice you got Niall's name and Josh's name mixed up. The last one I found was in chapter 57, you said something along the lines of;

I tried getting to the phone first, but Niall got there before me.

I'm pretty sure you ment to put Josh. I know that perfect little Irish snowflake is hard to get off the mind, but just make sure you don't make that mistake. When a author gets the names mixed up it can be difficult for the reader to understand who is where and things like that.

Besides those two things, you have done an exceptional job writing this fan fiction. Overall, I would suggest that people who are looking for a good fan fiction to read, to check this story out! I love all of the original twists to the basic plot, they are very fitting. I would love to see more of this stoy in the future.

Overall score: 9.0

Notes

If you do not like this review or find something offensive in it, please let me know so I can take it down ASAP and apologize. I hope I helped you with creating a better fan fiction and future stories .

❤This_Crazy_Girl

Sorry for the long wait! Thanks for waiting!