
Reviews with the Reader
Visiting Hours
Visiting Hours @ Zaynlove
I start from the top and work down (that’s kinda like the Drake song but opposite “started from the bottom now we’re here.” Lol sorry that was lame but I had too! Okay. Back to the review)
Cover & Title = Beautiful! Perfect! Kudos boo!
Summary! Before I start I just want to say, I really loved your summary! I literally found 5 mistakes in that whole thing! Okay here they are,
1. In the beginning part you put “If” instead of “Of” that’s one.
2. There’s a sentence where it begins with a lower case letter. The beginning of that sentence is “trying to pay….” Whereas it should be “Trying to pay….” Remember to capitalize the beginning of sentences.
3. The word “fiance” should “fiancé” but I did notice that you caught on to that in the future chapters.
4. Remember when writing a name like this “Mr. Parker” you MUST capitalize that first letter of the person’s name. I did see one spot where you put “Mr. styles” instead of “Mr. Styles”
5. (Last one) the last sentence (in my opinion) should’ve had a question mark. I believe it would look better.
Okay that’s it there. Next! Characters!
The Harry Styles summary (again my opinion) should’ve been a copy of the summary. Also long character summary make the readers feel like they already know everything there is to know. If you leave a little mystery, it intrigues the reader more!
The Thomas Patrick summary, was PUR—FECT! It all check out! Great job! (btw. Who’s the guy? Because he beautiful!)
Zayn Malik summary. First! That’s such a cute pic of him! The name “Zayn” should be capitalized in the beginning word, also a period is needed at the end of the summary.
Chapter time!
Again! You write so good! I know how much time and effort you put into these chapters!! Okay. So where you have the summary as the “first chapter” I honestly don’t think it should be there. We’ve already read it, we don’t really want to read it again. Okay your Prologue was AMAZAYN!!! BEAUTIFUL job!! The Prologue should’ve been in place of the summary. Also, just make sure to look over and review your chapters before you post them! Review review review! You’ll find all your little grammar and spelling mistakes! I honestly only found like 3-4 mistakes in your prologue! There all very easily fixed!
I read your other chapters and again very FEW mistakes! Just re-read like 3 times just to make sure, I know its hard to catch them all, but that’s what were here for! I love this story! Honest! I’m not sure why it was little subscribers and votes
Notes
Enjoy your review love!
@Oops_Hi
Hii! Yeah I'm still (kind of) active. I could probably do it, but it could be a while I usually get on like once a week. But I might be able to make some time. c: can't wait!
8/27/15