Clarity

For the next half hour that's all I did.
I didn't make eye contact with a single soul in the classroom, keeping my head resting on my desk.
Harry hadn't said a word to me, probably because he was assuming I was upset about Scruff.
I tried to read, but the moment my fingers brushed over the book in my back pack I instantly laid my head back. I felt such a strong sense of loss right now. My best friend, my dog, what was next?
I had barely gotten over Scruff, and Carson chose this time of all times to confess his undying love, then end the friendship when I rejected him? Maybe he was never that swell of a best friend. Or was he just scared it was to late?
I had been so excited to tell him about how everything fell into place with me and Harry, but now I had to keep it to myself.
I won't lie though, I consistently through out class, gave Harry small glances. He was wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and had small bags under his eyes but still managed to make it work. Right now he was sitting on his desk, eating a lollipop, while reading one of the Romeo and Juliet books.
He looked attractive just doing that. Luckily though his excessive lollipop eating hadn't turned me on, nor was I having much reaction to it. No matter how sexy that treat slipping in, and out of his mouth looked.
Then in my pocket, I felt my phone buzz signaling me that I had gotten a text. Biting my lip softly, I sat up in a slumped postion, and pulled out my phone to see who had texted me.
It was Carson.
At the sight of the notification with his name plastered above, I felt a small jump of excitement. Maybe he had finally come to his senses, and was appoligizing.
I knew he wouldn't hold a grudge, if he really liked me he would be happy I was happy. Right?
Yet once I had opened the text message it didn't say anything remotely similiar to my expectations.
'I just thought I should let you know, that Mr. Styles of yours? Yeah well, yesterday when we got to the apartment, he kicked me out of the car and threatened to beat me up if I didn't leave so he could be alone with you. Good choice Tomlinson.'
Upon reading the wordsI couldn't help but frown. Why would Harry do such a thing? He knew I would've known I wanted to see Carson to. Maybe he wanted to be alone when he gave me the song? But to threaten to beat up my friend? That was a little drastic. Something wasn't adding up. That image just didn't click in my head.
'How do I know your not lying?'
I quickly wrote back, hiding my phone from sight by placing my back pack on my desk, even though I knew quite well Harry wouldn't take the phone, nor would he notice. He was to absorbed in the book, and eating that lollipop.
'Why else do you think I didn't show up? I'm hurt you don't know me well enough to come to that conclusion.'
'Well after your confession this morning there is logic behind me thinking that...'
'So now your using my feelings against me? Why don't you throw my sexuality along with it?'
I couldn't believe he just twisted my words. Carson knew very well what I meant. I was referring to him being possibly jealous, not trying to make him look bad.
'You know what I meant Car.'
'Don't call me that, we're no longer friends. Remember?'
At this I couldn't help but feel hurt. Guess there was going to be alot of habits to break.
'Yeah. Look I'm in class, why don't you just come in, and lets talk this out?'
I text back, hoping my suggestion would work.
'The only place your going to be seeing me are the ones your not. Leave me alone. Stop texting me, I said I didn't want to talk to you.'
There it was again! He wrote me first! I could feel a small twist of anger building in my stomach. Why did he have to be like this?
'Why do you have to act like this? It's so immature. Your acting like a five year old.'
But the text message didn't go through. Instead I had gotten the notification that the number was private, meaning he had blocked my number.
What is his bloody problem? Why couldn't we just talk about this like mature adults? Was it so hard for him to suck up his pride? That was always his biggest flaw.
"Ten minutes, find a stopping point in five." Harry calls out, removing the lollipop from his mouth for a moment to scan over the class, and when our eyes meet he grins at me making my heart flutter.
He had a perfect smile. It was an unmissable thing, could point it out from a mile away. The dimples were only a bonus. I wonder if he'd let me eat cereal out of those? At that thought I snickered, because in my mind it was a funny thought. Him laying on his side while I ate cereal out of his dimple. What kind of cereal would I eat? Probably the mini pebbles kind, if that was even a thing.
It actually made me feel good I had a destraction from Carson, and Scruff at the moment. Harry was quickly becoming a stress reliever. That was a good thing right? I mean eveyone needed a stress reliever.
Then the bell blared around the classroom, and everyone scurried to grab their stuff as I lingered in my seat, purposely this time, pretending to play on my phone.
"Hey lad, heard about Scruff. Sorry for your loss mate." Marcus appoligizes, going out of his way to walk over to me, and give my shoulder an affectionate grip, as I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. I'll live." I promise, reaching up, and pinching his cheek making him swat my hand away as he pinched mine. "See you later Tommo." He says, waving as he adjusted his backpack, and waved to Harry as he followed the last stream of students out of the classroom.
"Finally!" He exclaims, the instant the door closes, and before I could comment he jumps up from his deskm and rushes over to me. Before wrapping his arms around my neck and hugging me. "I don't like it when your quiet in class, it's no fun." He whines, kissing my cheek, and I swat him away from me so I could stand up.
"Well next time I'll be sure to bust down the door when I walk in." I assure, and he laughs. "As long as you only do minimal damage." He warns, crossing his arms, standing about a foot away from me now, as he looked down at me with a grin.
He looked so happy. I had never seen him beam so brightly! I wonder if the aliens up above could see his light? I would think so, because it was sure blinding me from my problems.
"I might just do that." I chuckle, shoving my hands in my pockets, and leaning agains the desk as we just stared at each other for a long moment, both silent.
What was I suppose to do now? I wasn't exactly sure if I should hug him, or kiss him? Or were you not suppose to do that? Not even twenty-four hours in, and this boyfriend thing was killing me. Is this how girls felt when they won a man? Confused on what to do next? Was I just suppose to go with whatever he did?
At these unsaid thoughts I felt my eyes drift to the ground, a shyness passing over me.
Harry then broke the silence by clearing his throat, "So, I was wondering?" He started, and I looked up biting my lip, "Wondering?" I ask, pulling a hand out of my pocket to gesture for him to go on. "I was wondering if Louis would like to come over today? Maddie misses his dry sense of humor." He asks, teasing me at the end as I scoff. "Well if my humor is that dry then maybe my yes is as well." I say, giving him a payful glare and he raises an eyebrow. That smile still on his face.
"Is that so?" "Yes Styles." Then at that comment, he stepped forward and grabbed my hips before slowly pressing his lips to my neck, making my breath hitch.
"Maybe we need to get that yes wet, no?" He says, his voice low, arse. "Oh c'mon now, that's not fair." I whine trying push him away, but he tightened his grip on me. "Follow me home in your car?" He asks, nipping my jawline before pulling me up against him in a hug, and my arms wrapped around his waist as well.
"Okay, I'm honestly not to thrilled about going to my home anyways." I admit softly, and he kisses my temple before pulling away, making my skin cold from loss of contact. "It'll be okay. The pain lessens over time." He assures, brushes his finger tips over my cheek before walking away and over to his desk so he could pack up all his things.
"Will I still miss him in a year or so?" I ask, and he shrugs. "Yes, but it won't hurt all that bad. Eventually he'll be an absent thought." He informs, stuffing some papers in his suitcase, and closed his laptop. "I doubt that." I mumble, picking up my back pack, and pulling the straps over my shoulders as I walked over to the desk, and tapping my fingers on the polished wood.
He was a good desk keeper. If I owned a desk I'd find an excuse every five minutes to draw on it, and probably have a gum collection below it's surface.
"So where's Carson? He decided not to show?" Harry inquires after a moment of my finger tapping silence. At his question I felt my heart tighten, and instantly froze, my fingers resting on the desk. ''I don't know. Haven't talked to him since we were in the hospital." I lied quickly.
Now don't get me wrong, I desparately wanted to tell Harry the friendship was over and get his advice, but then that meant I had to tell him about Carson's confession, and Carson kissing me. And like I had said earlier, I knew he wasn't going to take that well.
He had never seemed overally fond of Carson, and the last thing I wanted to do was break it to him that I had already sorta cheated on him on our first day of being together.
But wait. Were we officially together? I mean yes we both had said "I love you's", had sex, and he practically jumped me after class, but was it official?
And also now that I came to think of it, I didn't techinically cheat because Carson kissed me and touched me by force. I guess it wasn't a nessicary thing to tell Harry right now. Or was it?
"Weird. I thought him of all people would be babying you today." Harry comments with a shrug, picking up his suitcase, and closing his desk draw making me jump in surprise. "Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." He chuckles, walking around the desk, and over to me.
"Ready?" He asks, and I nod. Avoiding his gaze.
Today was not a good day for secret keeping. I was definatly going to crack before the end of the day. Or at least I might. All I could do was hope I wouldn't, and remain as far as possible from the topic. "Yeah, lets go."

-

"It feels good to be home! Don't you love that feeling? Walking through the door after a long day?" Harry asks, the instant we kick off our shoes, and abandon our bags on the floor.
"Yes, it's refreshing." I say, laughing a bit as he kissed my head.
I found it all cute. Harry portraying little amounts off affection. Nothing demanding, nothing to much, all sweet, and innocent. Even though we both knew his thoughts weren't. This was all still a little weird to me.
Like I felt really happy with him, got butterflies, skipped heartbeats, and all the love stuff but it felt surreal. Surreal to feel this way about a guy, and so soon.
Usually the confession of love came a couple of months into the relationship, but ours had come out sooner because like it has been said we are in a very unique situation.
Did all teacher-student stories go like this? Or was this reality. I mean he hadn't bent me over a desk asking me if I wanted good grades, but he did bend me over the sink of the bathroom counter the moment I muttered 'bathrooms'.
I guess all stories had a little twist. A twist in our story, that was a good way to put it.
"Want to go relax in my room? It's a nice temparature in there? And we can have some privacy." He offers, looking down at me with that soft smile again.
Of course he wanted privacy. He probably was hoping for another love making session again. Or was he wanting to keep us in private in case I got upset over Scruff? Either way both thoughts were so Harry. It felt weird, like I knew him so well even though we hadn't exchanged much information about each other.
"Sure, your bed is comfortable, and I'm still a little sore." I point out, and he smirks. "I have that effect on people." He remarks cheekily, making me laugh, as we both begin to trek up the stairs.
He seemed to have one of those mixed personalities, with multiple sides. A cheeky one, a sensitive one, a dark one, a cute one, and a loving one. I wasn't sure which one I liked the best, but they all were pretty defined. he seemed to have better control over his temper now though. I couldn't help, but notice that.
He didn't seem as tensed in class, and didn't snap at me in class as much.
Well then again I wasn't exactly making his job difficult anymore, I suppose you could say I was making it more fun?
"Here she is." He announces, opening the door of his bedroom,and I don't hesitate to brush past him, and jump on the cool comforter of his bed, before laying down. "Your bed feels amazing." I compliment, my tense, tired body, relaxing above the touch of the soft bed. "I would hope so! Paid a good load of money for that." He comments, peeling off his socks then climbing on the bed proir to laying next to me.
"It's definately bigger then mine, and more comfortable." I sigh, and he nudges my bare feet with his. "True that.'' He then glances at my feet, "How come you hardly wear socks?" He asks, and I shrug. "I don't like them, but love sneakers. It's just a weird fact about me. Like Shailene for example, she never wears matching socks." I inform, and Harry laughs, propping his head up on his hand.
"Who's Shailene?"
"My best girl friend, you would love her! She's fun." I say, looking up at him, then back to my fingers.
"By the tone of her voice I can tell she is!" He comments, licking his tips as he poked my cheek. "Is she friends with Carson to?" He asks, and it comes back. The guilt, and hesitation to tell him.
"Yeah, but they have a Lily and Oliver type relationship." I inform quietly, and Harry frowns. "What's wrong? Your face just fell?" He points out, and I force a smile. "I'm fine!" I protest, but he looks unconvinced as he sits up.
"Louis you can't put anything past me. What's wrong? And don't tell me it's Scruff, because I know that's not it." He warns, and I swallow before running my hands down my face, and sighing.
"Fine." I say in defeat, my will shattering instantly.
What was the good in lying to him? It wouldn't be a good start to whatever we had.
"Me and Carson had a fight, and he ended to the friendship." I confess, my heart starting to pound from fear of his reaction. I mean I knew it couldn't be that bad, but I was worried still.
''What? Why! You both had such a great friendship! Or it seemed so?" He gaps and I sigh deeply as I roll off the bed then begin pacing around the room, fiddling with my fingers. "We did." I mumble and Harry cocks an eyebrow as his eyes follow my every move.
"Then what happened?" He asks, and I sigh. "Carson confessed he liked me, and when I rejected him he got mad." I say quickly, and Harry's confusion slowly melts into a look of frustration? Anger? Jealousy?
"Is that all?" He asks quietly, and I swallow. Here came the fun part. "No." I stop a few feet away from the bed, and look down. "He kissed me, and groped me." I admit, and the room goes deadly quiet as I bite my lip harshly.
Not daring to meet his gaze. For the next few moments Harry breathed in and out slowly, as I heard the bed creak softly from him moving around. He then exhaled deeply,
"Let's get something straight,"
He then shot up from the bed, and grabbed my waist before pushing me back up against the wall, causing me to gasp, as my hands moved to his shoulders.
"I spent almost a full month of pure torture, trying to win your love,"
His hands begin to unbutton my jeans, as he pressed his lips to my neck, and I felt my body burn as I gripped his shoulders. Not daring to protest unless he hurt me of course.
"And now after finally getting it, I intend to keep it."
Once my jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped, he slipped his hand in, snuck past the waist band of my boxers, and gripped my length hard before he begin to pump me.
"Your mine now, he lost his chance." He growled against my skin, as I tilted my head back and moaned, thrusting my hips into his hands while fluttering my eyes shut.
I had to admit, I like this rough side of his. It felt more exciting.
"Understood?" He asks, biting down on my neck and sucking harshly, his pumps slow and I nodded quickly. "Mm Harry.." I moan softly, rocking my body into his as he pleased me.
"Answer my question." He demanded, blowing on the love bite, causing a chill to pass through me, followed by a wave of pleasure.
"Understood." I manage to choke out, growing hard, my neck throbbing.
"Good." He then pulled his hand out, causing me to whimper from the loss of contact, and he zipped my jeans back up and buttoned them, before placing a hand on each side of my head.
"I told you so." He says smirking, and I narrow my eyes at him. "Not funny Styles." I pout, my body craving more of his addicting touch, my arms crossing. "It's never fun when I get the last laugh." He teases, pecking my lips, and kissing my forehead before pulling my arms apart, and slipping his fingers inbetween mine.
''Lets go get a drink, and some snacks." He suggests, and I look down at our hands.
His were nearly twice the size of mine, and more masculine at that. If I hadn't known my hand, I would've thought it to be a girls.
"Yeah, good idea." I whisper, the feeling strange, yet smile worthy of him holding my hand. It felt nice. "C'mon then." He coax's, tighening his grip on my hand, and dragging my smaller frame out of the room, and down one of the halls.
"There's another stairwell on this side, it leads almost directly to the kitchen." He informs, his anger and jealousy seeming non-existent now. "That's pretty cool." I admit, looking around the hallway, and then I noticed something interesting.
Two big, red, double doors with a giant lock.
"What's in that room?" I ask, pointing to it, and he only smirks. "I'll show you someday, lets just say it's a very special room." He comments, and my heart skips a beat.
What could that possibly mean?

Notes

Double Update! Yay! <3

~Mazzy

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