Clarity

I had fallen asleep on the couch that night with my computer resting in my lap.
When I woke up the next morning it was paused on the middle of the song and half shut, meaning either I had paused it then drifted off or did it in my sleep.
"Scruff?" I call with a loud yawn as I run my hands down my face and brush them through my hair to neaten it up as my dog came trotting in carrying my t-shirt in his mouth. "Boy! I was gonna wear that today!" I whine, shoving my laptop aside and getting up so I could remove it from his mouth.
This dog really had some issues with stealing valued items.
Well actually I didn't care much about the shirt, it was badly colored anyways.
Resembled barf.
"Don't eat clothes, I made that mistake once. It doesn't come out the right way." I warn swatting his nose and he jumped up and nipped my hand causing me to yelp as I stepped back then around him so I could head into the kitchen.
"Now how about cereal for me and kibble for you?" I ask him as he follows me in and I grab the dog food out from under the counter and fill up his bowl before opening the cabinent and climbing on the counter so I could reach the cereal on the top shelf.
I blame Carson for this.
Speaking of Carson we had work today! I then shifted slightly on the counter so I could turn and look at then clock on the stove and I felt immediate panick rush through me. I was an hour late for work!
"Crap!" I shouted jumping off the counter and abandoning the cereal as I ran out of the kitchen and into my room.
Once I was in my room I started to feverishly dig through my draws as I retrieved my phone from my pocket and dialed Carson.
I was going to kill him. How dare he not wake me up! This was unfair, no unjust. I was going to end the friendship if he ever pulled a stunt like this again.
Not literally but you get what I mean.
"Hello?" My friend's groggy voice then calls out as I toss some boxers, shorts, and a t-shirt on my bed. "Why didn't you give me a wake up call? I'm going to miss most of practice now!" I snap my voice a bit scratchy because I was still half asleep, then he laughed. "Louis practice was canceled. It's pouring rain out, and most of the parents called to confirm their kids weren't coming." Carson informs and I freeze then lean against my dresser panting,
"You pantsy! You could've texted me and told me!" I say my voice calm again as I caught my breath.
"I did Louis, but you didn't answer."
"Oh."
"You didn't even check your texts did you?"
"No I was in a rush!"
"Well go back to bed."
"No I think I'll just stay up, I have homework to finish."
He then sighed,
"So I guess hanging out won't be an option?" A small smile then curled on my face and I shook my head even though he couldn't see me.
"No sorry Car, I promise this weekend."
"Okay. Oh by the way you missed our party night at the bar last night!" He reminds and I bite the inside of my cheek harshly.
How in the world did I forget that?
Harry.
That lad, always messing things up.
"I know, sorry. I was busy, and forgot to call." I appoligize putting my phone on speaker so I could swap out my shorts for sweats and begin to undress as he laughed,
"Don't worry about it. It was boring anyways. Everyone seemed to be busy that night, the place was half empty."
"Then I guess I didn't miss much?"
"Nah."
"Okay, good! Well I have to go now, bye. See you in class."
My finger brushed over the end call button and I hung up before giving him a chance to say good bye or protest against me leaving.
After I had gotten dressed and put my phone on the charger, I quickly finished up my homework for my English class and then played a bit with Scruff until my alarm rang signalling it was time to go to the University.
"I've got to go, be good boy." I say as I scramble up and toss him a chew toy then quickly do a sweep through my apartment to shut all the doors so no more of my possessions become slobbered.
Once I had assured my self-concious my home was doggie proof I toss him a treat then grab my bag and leave the apartment.
"Hey Debby any mail?" I ask once I exit off the elevator and walk into the lobby.
"No dear, but I'll ring you if any comes." She says offering me a small tired smile and I nodded as I waved then walked out the front door into the light rain, which instantly dampened my hair.
Should've brought an umbrella.
"Hey baby." I coo the moment I walk under the protection of the parking garage and slide my hand over the hood proudly before climbing inside and removing the keys from my pocket so I could start the engine.
"Good girl." I coax turning on the heat to dry my hair as I pulled out.
I needed a girlfriend.
Or a boyfriend.
Whoa.
Boyfriend?
Where did that come from?
Was I drunk?
No Louis your confused because of your Professor.
After listening to Don't Let Me Go multiple times my thoughts had some what cleared but I was still terribly confused.
The few things I had gotten straight were Harry definately liked me.
I was starting to warm up to him. He obviously after waisting time on composing a piece for me didn't want me for sex, and he liked dogs.
Other then that I was still confused. I couldn't at this point in our story tell if I liked him as a friend or crush wise. I do have to admit I did enjoy spending time with him, and he was actually an enjoyable guy.
Yet I also found him attractive, and good at blow jobs.
Tangle those together and you don't know what to think.
I wasn't sure if I still counted as straight after him screwing me in the club then blowing me in the privacy of his room.
Oh gosh.
I hope Maddie didn't hear my scream, moans, and whimpers.
The thought actually made my face tint a light pink.
Also there was the fact he had giggled, in front of me. The sound was kinda cute but didn't seem natural. Here comes another wave of confusion.
Last night Harry hadn't seem mad in the slightest. I could easily tell he was happy I had showed up and even happier I had brought my dog. But why did he think I showed up? Did he think I appeared to appoligize? Or just see him? Or maybe he did know I would show up for my non-existent homework.
"Whoa! Louis!" Someone then shouted and I re-focused on the road and quickly slammed on the breaks stopping my car just an inch away from a parked car.
That was close.
Oh my gosh.
I then rolled down my window and poked my head out to make sure I didn't hit the car.
"Are you okay?" The person then called agian and I regonized it as Carson.
"Y-Yeah. Oh my gosh. Crap. That was close. To close." I say lifting my foot slightly off the breaks then backing up slightly so I could slide into the parking space next to the car I had nearly trashed.
"I swear I thought you were done for!" Carson says, concern coating his voice as he came rushing over to my window and I turned off the engine and put on the parking break.
"That makes two of us." I admit with a pounding heart and shakey breath. "Are you hurt?" He asks opening my door for me and I shake my head as I step out and swing my bag over my shoulders.
"No, just a little startled."
"Are you sure?"
"Carson I 'm fine!" I tease standing on my tipy toes and he cracks a grin as he pinches my cheek then opens the umbrella that was rested at his side.
"C'mon we can share." He says holding it above us and I nod as I give him playful shove and he laughs as he shoves me back. "Dork." He taunts and I snicker as we both then break into a jog across the parking lot so we could make it through the doors of the school in good time, and perfectly dry.
"Thanks for sharing." I say ruffling my hair and he nods as he closes it and wraps the strap around it. "I had a feeling you'd forget it." He states with a shrug and I roll my eyes as I punch his arm then run into the crowd so he couldn't defend himself with a counter hit.
"Get back here you little shrimp!" He calls and I could see him running after me and I laughed as I made a sharp turn then he slammed into the wall because he hadn't been expecting that.
"Are you okay?" I ask unable to contain my laughter as I stop to catch my breath and he groans and rubs his face before tackling me and putting me in head lock.
"Your lucky we're friends or I'd kill you for that." He teases giving me a nugie and I whine as I squirm in his grip and he snickers as he drags me down the hall in the direction of our history class, then releases me once we get to the door.
"Ready to torment the teacher?" He asks and I immediately feel the smile slide off my face and nervous butterflies drif into my stomach.
Butterflies?
Oh shoot.
"I guess. I'm a little tired so I might be off my game." I lie because I wasn't sure if the idea of annoying Harry was so appealing anymore, because now after every insult and cruel comment I felt a surge of guilt.
Guilt wasn't an easy emotion for me. Luckily I could contain my appoligies and push it away.
"Awww..your a bore!" He whines releasing me from headlock and ruffling my hair as we walked inside and instantly almost as if on cue my gaze shifted to Harry who was peeling the wrapper off of a lollipop.
Please no.
Of all the things.
"Hi Louis." He says softly as me and Carson walk by his desk and I glanxe to the side at him and offer a half smile, "Hi." I reply and he nods as I turn away and walk over to my desk then slowly slide into it.
"Okay guys! So today I'll be giving you back your graded tests, have you read another four chapters of Romeo and Juliet then if we have time do a packet." He announces twirling the pop in his mouth as he took a shakey breath.
Weird.
He actually seemed nervous?
His face was flushed and he kept fiddling with his tie or basically whatever he could get his hands on.
"Mr. Styles seems whipped today." Carson whispers and I force a soft laugh as I shove his head away. I guess it was pretty obvious he wasn't himself.
"So..yeah! Okay. Nothing more! Pull out your books." He then glanced over at me and our eyes met for a brief moment then I flickered mine away as I leaned over and retrieved my book from my bag.
The rest of the time the class was pretty much quiet as we moved from assignment to assignment, and the closer we got to the bell ringing the more fidgety and nervous I got.
I was planning to make a comment on the song to Harry but I didn't know how.
The last thing I wanted to do was confess my undying love then contrdict myself the next day. I wasn't really sure what to do.
Maybe we could just go for the friend thing?
I mean we were sorta already friends. Those visits to his house and arguments after school had to count for something right?
"Your test Louis." Harry's voice then announced and I jumped in my seat as he placed the pure white packet on my desk, grabbed my blue one from today and moved onto the next one with out making eye contact.
"Shoot. I got a seventy-five!" Carson groans and I snicker as I hold up mine proudly, "And I my friend have gotten a brilliant eighty-five!" I gloat earning a smack upside the head as the bell rang and my heart begin to race.
This was it.
Should I just not bother and leave quickly?
Or should I approach him on it hear his reasoning, even though I felt as if I already knew.
The song lyrics definately had defined meaning, there was no question about it.
"You wanna hang out tonight?" Carson asks as he packs away his things and I shake my head to clear it as I nod, "Yeah! That would be nice. How about you rent a movie and I'll go pick up the pizza and Shailene?" I ask and he frowns for a moment but then shrugs with a nod, "Okay but if I pick out something stupid don't blame me." He teases and squeezes my shoulder, "Meet you outside." He then jumped over the desk and ran down the isle and out of the room into the crowd of students.
I swear when Carson shut the door behind him the sound seemed to pound around the room in a taunting fashion.
"Sorry, I'll be out in a moment." I appoligize as I zip up my back and place it on my back, then Harry shakes his head and bites the lollipop causing a crunch to echo, as he tosses the stick in the trash.
"What did you think of t-the s-song?" He asks stammer on the last bit as I inhaled sharply then shrugged,
"You have a nice voice."
"I didn't ask about my voice Louis, I asked about the song." He informs and I bite my lip harshly,
"It had a nice melody."
He then exhaled deeply and slapped his palm over the desk causing me to jump.
"Why do you always do that?! One second your a pest then the next your all sweet and kind. One moment we're sitting at a table sharing a drink or eating dinner the next I'm trying to restrain myself from killing you! Stop giving me mixed signals. Your confusing the hell out of me!" He snaps and I feel my breathing deepen as I hit my desk as well then out of no where crack,
"Oh your confused?! You screw me up! I can't even think straight anymore! I don't even think I am straight anymore! You make me want to punch you then kiss you the next! I hate you but I like you! I wanna run from you but my feet stay mounted!" I counter harshly then I groan and I bury my face in my hands as I brush them thru my hair,
"I don't know if what I feel is a crush or need for frirndship." I admit truthfully with a pounding heart,
then Harry's face immediately twists before softening as he laughs humorously as he walks out from behind the desk then leans against the wall before slidding down to the ground in a sitting position.
"I was just fine until you came in and messed it all up. You made me go crazy! I had sleepless nights, dreams, songs, you freaking screwed me up to. I want to screw you, I want to hit you, I want to kiss you, I want to hate you, I want to love you, I want you to hate me and I want you to love me. I can't stand it all!" He then looked down at the ground and bit his lips harshly as I sighed then dropped my bag on the ground before walking over to him and kneeling down in front of him.
"This situation is screwed up in general." I mumble just loud enough for him to hear and he looks up at me with a small smile, "I prefer to lable it as unique." He admits reaching out a hand and brushing his finger tips over my cheek.
Please don't Harry.
It seemed like with every passing day I was getting more confused and my thoughts were tangling even further.
"Okay, unique." I say smiling slightly as I watched his hand. His finger tips were soft, and his palm rough.
He had a very manly hand.
"Do you like me Louis?" He then asks and I swallow thickly as I glance at him with uneven breaths.
"I don't know."
"Okay."
We both then sighed in union and he chuckled as he pulled his hand back and rested it on his knee,
"I do admit though, I actually did kinda like the song." I confess and a smile appears on his face, "Could because if you didn't the writer would've played it on repeated until you did." He says referring to himself in third person and I shake my head,
"No! I wouldn't let him. He can't make me. He can't make anyone do what he wants!" I tease trying to shift the mood to a playful one and he sighs as he shrugs,
"He can get people to do what he wants just fine he's scared of being to rough though and hurting them."
He then says and I give him a confused look.
What did that mean?
Harry didn't really come off as the abusive kind.
"You would beat them?" I ask and he laughs, "Depends. If in a kinky way then yes." He says and I feel my eyes widden slightly.
Did he just confess to being kinky?
No.
Impossible.
He didn't come off as the type.
Or did he?
A look of concern then crosses his face as he bites his lip,
"But not you though. I don't think I'd hurt you." He assures and I lick my lips,
"Either way you would never really hurt me, because I'd probably steal your cars or never ending supply of lollipops."
"Aye you can take the car just leave the lollipops." He whines and I laugh a honest to goodness laugh.
"You have a strange obssession with those." I comment and he leans his head back against the wall.
"That's because I use them as a smoking subsitute, I use to smoke a pack a day but now I suck those instead." He informs with a shrug as I cock an eyebrow at him but say nothing on the topic because it wasn't my buisness why he smoked.
"Oh! I guess that makes more sense." I say then begin to play with my fingers as my mind feels the need to add,
"But I'm dead serious Harry, no matter how much you hate me or I hate you I don't think we'd ever intentionaly hurt each other."
A soft look then crossed his face as he nodded in agreement then scooted slightly foreward so I was inbetween his knee's and he begin to play with my hair like a monkey only I was facing him.
"You have such soft hair, what shampoo do you use?" He asks and I shrug as I watch him not making any move to pull back then he snickers,
"I'll tell you who I'd like to hurt intentionally though!"
"Who?"
"Carson."
My body then automatically pulled back as I gave him a strange look,
"Why?"
"Because it's so obvious that dirty tosser has a crush on you."
I think I just died a little.
"C-Carson?" I choke out in surprise as I shake my head in protest,
"No! No! You've got it all wrong. Carson and me have been friends for years! He's definately straight and definately has no interest in me romantically." I state firmly and Harry shrugs,
"Alright, alright. If that's what it is then that's what it is." He hums in defeat and I nod as I then clamor up to my feet and Harry made a small pout.
"Are you leaving?" He asks getting up as well then looking down at me as I nod, "Yeah, you just reminded me that Carson's waiting on me outside and we have plans with a friend tonight." I say with a shrug and Harry nods in understanding.
"Okay." He then spun on his heel and walked back over to his desk as I fetched my bag.
"Oh..um..Louis?" He then calls out as I pull the straps over my shoulder,
"Yes?"
"Would you like to maybe..um..come over this weekend?" He asks biting his lip and I freeze for a moment.
His invitation was tempting, and I didn't see any reason why not.
Oh except the fact he liked me and was confusing me.
"I'm not sure, maybe."
"Okay, well just drop by if you change your mind?" He offers with a friendly smile and I nod.
"Will do." Then I walked over to the door and rested my hand on the door knob before glancing back at him,
"Does this mean we're friends now?" I ask out of curiousity and his grin widdens as he nods.
"If that means you don't hate my guts then yes!" A soft laugh then escapes my lips and I smile as well as I say,
"Ha! My friend the bad teacher." I tease with a wink then open the door and step out into the hall releasing a long breath.
I guess you could say we just made progress?

Notes