Clarity

"Excuse me miss? Where's the poptarts?" I ask the lady behind the meat counter, who looks up at me unamused. "Their located in the dead center of the breakfest isle." She informs and I nod offering her a polite smile that gets sneered down so I scurry off towards the breakfest isle with out another word.
Last night had been a fun Friday night, one of the best I've had in awhile, but it had left me tired.
I usually knew where my everyday foods were located in the grocery store but this morning for whatever reason I couldn't seem to find the poptarts, and I was positive it had something to do with my hazy vision from exhaustion.
Me, Carson and Shailene had stayed up until three in the morning watching re-runs of Scooby Doo and Friends, while pigging out on pizza and ice cream, which resulted in Shailene getting a tummy ache.
Then once they had finally went home, I had spent another half hour cleaning up the mess and looking for my phone that I had found this morning in Scruff's feeding bowl.
It wasn't a happy sight, but at least it was okay.
"Poptarts, poptarts, poptarts." I mutter under my breath repeatedly as I ran my index finger along the boxes of food, while leaning on my shopping cart and then gave out a small whoop of triump when I found my target.
"Lets see, I'll take you." I announce to no one as I grab one of the boxes, apple cinnemon, and tossed it into the cart with the other items I had grabbed a few minutes before.
Once I had done a quick sweep through the isle to make sure I didn't need anything, I moved onto the next isle to get some more toliet paper.
"Four pack, four pack, four pack." I mumble to myself once more to keep my mind on track as I walked through the two walls of snowy white toliet paper.
"Ah ha!" I say stopping then bending down to retrieve a four pack because I really didn't need that much. Unless I had a friend over.
"Louis?" A familiar, fenimine voice then called out and I furrowed my eyes in confusion as I looked up from my squatted position and saw Maddie, much to my surprise, lingering next to my cart while resting against her own.
"Oh! Um..hi Maddie!" I say softly in surprise as I toss the four pack into my cart then stand up straight with a small, polite smile.
"Oh it is you! I thought so, once I saw that mop of hair." She informs with a laugh and I can't help but let my smile grow a bit wider as I glance behind her,
"Is Harry with you?" I ask not technically ready to make his presence at the moment. "No, he's at home doing who knows what." A relieved breath passed through my lips at her words as I nodded and grabbed the handle of my shopping cart and rocked it back and forth, unsure of what else to say.
"He mentioned you might be dropping by this weekend?" She said while turning her gaze away to reach for one of the twelve packs on the higher shelf and I shrugged as I reached up and grabbed it for her. "He invited me over, but I don't want to keep intruding." I say truthfully, while she placed the pack in her cart with a warm smile,
"Oh no! Love you are doing everything but intruding! Me and Harry love having you over, it's rare we get company and when we do it's usually angry ex girlfriends or buisness men."
A rather funny look of frustration then crossed her face, clueing me in on the fact that she probably wasn't amused by the other company they did get.
"Oh, I guess that makes sense." I mumble just loud enough for her to hear as I stuffed my hands in the pockets on my basketball shorts, and rocked back and forth on my heels.
"Glad to clear it up." She then sighed in a content kind of way, "So, will you be coming by later? Saturday dinners are usually the best after Sunday.'' She pushes and I let out a slow breath as I remain silent for a long moment.
I have to admit I really wanted to but for the same reasons I've stated so many times, I hesitated.
It wasn't that I didn't like Maddie, nor was I angry at Harry but I felt like I would be giving him the same mixed signals if I kept showing up at his front door then pulling a stunt in class the next day.
"I might drop by later." I then say with a grin, a little forced as she nodded. "Great! If you do end up showing up come a little before five so you can have some time to relax before dinner." She informs clearly excited at my answer, then she pats my shoulder before walking out of the isle and to the left.
The rest of the time I shopped I couldn't help but feel a little bit of regret for possibly giving her false hope, and Harry because she would definately tell him that she bumped into me.
Then again she did offer another free home cook meal, and I did sorta want to see Harry.
And anyways isn't that what friends did?
Hang out on the weekends, and constantly want to see each other?
Well I didn't constantly want to see Harry but today I kinda did.
I wouldn't say I missed him, I'd say it was more of me just wanting to see how well this friend thing was going to work.
By the time I had finished collecting my nessicities and paid before carrying the bags out to my car, I had decided to go over for just a little while. I mean what was the worst thing that could happen in an hour or so?
Besides us having a heavy make out session that ended in a violent sex session.
"Idiot!" I then say to myself as I slap myself over the head to clear my head of such thoughts, while pulling out of the driveway and onto the road.
No the worse that could happen would be murder, but I think we were far past that stage.
Actually it seemed like we were coming over alot of stages and making progress.
Calling ourselves friends had to count as progression right?
Also though there was the upsetting thought that Carson and Shailene might not be okay with me becoming friend with Harry.
Well maybe Shailene but Carson definately wouldn't.
He seemed to hate any and all teachers and never gave a single one a change, where opposed me and Shailene had a long list of teachers we were both overally fond of.
I wonder how good of friends me and Harry might become? I highly doubt best friends would ever be possible because I already had friends who held that postion of power in my life.
Then Harry's comment about Carson came back to mind and I gripped my steering wheel a little bit tighter.
That was the only recent thing Harry had done to get me upset.
It was so painfully clear that Carson was straight, that anyone who said otherwise needed to be slapped with a book of sense because that was rediculious.
Then also to mention he had the nerve to say Carson had a crush on me?
Impossible.
Just because my friend was always hovering around me didn't mean he liked me.
I guess that meant I liked him to if we're gonna use Harry logic.
My thoughts then had to be interupted as I pulled into my parking space in the parking garage and turned off my car before climbing out and snatching my bags from the back.
The walk back into my apartment was short and interupted because I took the stairs that led literally to the door of my apartment.
''I'm home boy!" I call out to Scruff as I walk inside, kick off my shoes, then walk into the kitchen and placed the bags on the counter as Scruff came trotting in panting.
"Hey buddy." I coo petting his head as he sat down next to me and nudged my leg with his nose for attention and I chuckled. "Got you a present." I then opened one of the shopping bags and pulled out a medium sized bone for him, that I had bought in hopes he would stop going after my prized possessions.
An excited bark echoed around the room as he stood up on all fours wagging his tail quickly, while I peeled the plastic wrap off the treat and placed it on the ground much to his pleasure, and he picked it up in his sloppy jaws before running out of the room.
"Silly boy." I say with the shake of my head as I unload the rest of the bags and put the food away, before tossing the plastic remains of the bags into the trash.
"Now to get ready." I remind myself with the snap of my fingers, whils quickly glancing at the clock to see it was precisely four o' clock. No surprise there, I had not only slept late but had gotten stuck in traffic on both trips to and from the store.
Once I had gotten into my room I pulled out a cleaner t-shirt and a pair of jeans, that I changed into quickly before going into the bathroom and combing out my mop of hair as Maddie liked to call it, then I walked back out to the front hall and slipped my feet back into my sneakers.
"Keys, keys, keys." I say to myself as I walked back into the kitchen and retrieved them off the counter.
Then I poked my head into the living room to check on Scruff before walking out the front door, and down the stairs clear out to my car that I got into quickly.
The whole drive there was completely silent.
I didn't bother blasting my new music CD that my sister had bought for me last weekend, I didn't think a single thought revolving around Harry, I barely even breathed half the time.
I felt to tired to trouble myself with upsetting thoughts, and I didn't feel like listening to loud raging music.
I actually could go for some soft Lana Del Ray type music. Maybe some classical.
I wonder if Harry liked classical?
Nah.
I highly doubt it.
He seemed like a rocker punk kinda guy even though he was all pish posh and formal while teaching the class.
I guess you could say I looked past the lines against my will.
"Here goes nothing." I whisper to my butterfly ridden stomach, fast beating heart, and trembling fingers as I pulled into the neighborhood.
Why was I so nervous? This was just a friend going to hang out with a friend, nothing importent.
But then again everything involving Harry seemed to turn into a matter of importence with one wrong word, or improper actions.
As those thoughts swirled in a brilliant flurry inside my head, I pulled into the proud, long parking lot of my friend's oversized house.
Then the moment I was placed right next to his overally fancy smancy car, I turned off my engine and sat back in my chair for a minute or to, to calm myself.
I felt a strange, nervous kind of anxiety. I wasn't even sure why. It was the kind you get when your meeting someone new that you really look up to and your scared they won't like nor approve of you and your whole appearence, mentally and physically wise.
Finally I had gathered my strange perlexing feelings together and kicked open my door before getting out then shut it with a bang so I could lock it.
"Just friends, just friends." I remind myself to comfort my pulsing heart that nothing confusing, upsetting, or extreme would happen at this visit.
"I thought I saw you, out the window!" Maddie chimes, throwing open the door, shortly after I knocked on it and rang the doorbell. "Then I suppose you don't need a vision test?" I teased in a light tone causing her to laugh as she stepped aside to let me in and shut the door behind me.
Once she had let me in, and my ears had adjusted to the change of setting, I heard a soft buzzing noise and the sound of quiet voices with the occasional yelp.
All came from the living room.
"You came in as Harry was getting the last of his new tattoo! You can just take your shoes off here and go right on in." She says sweetly as I nod and kick off my sneakers before slipping my hands into my pocket while I made the short walk into the all to familiar living room.
I have to confess, the sight was actually quite funny that I came upon when I walked in.
Harry was laying on his back on the couch, completely shirtless, and a unfamiliar man was hunched over him drawing a series of lines and sqiggles over his stomach, while Harry kept whining about it hurting.
I then cleared my throat and leaned against the door way with a half smile,
"Hi."
Both men then stop in their obsorbed actions and looked up at me before a grin stretched across Harry's face.
"Hey, Louis! C'mon in. There's an empty seat right there. I'll be done in a moment." He informs and a small smile is planted on my amused face as I walk over to the love seat, and sit down in a crossed legged position because I can.
"This is going to look brilliant when it dries!" The tattoo man announces placing down his tools, so he could pull out a plaster bandage and place it over the new marking, that was hidden from my veiw.
"I can't wait! Thanks James, your the best." Harry then sat up as the tattoo man, James, scooted his chair back to give Harry some room to stretched while he gathered his materials and flexed his what seemed to be sore hand.
"What did you get?" I ask curiously not really having much experiance with tattoo's, but I had always been interested in them. Not that I'm planning on getting one any time soon.
"Just a manly butterfly." He says causually, standing up and shaking James hand as the lad smiled and shook back before scurrying out of the living room and closing the front door behind him a moment later after walking out.
"I won't question it." I respond with a shrug, keeping my eyes trained on Harry's face, purposely avoiding his bare torso that came into veiw when he turned around to face me.
My breath then hitched when I saw it.
He had a hard to miss scar.
It was large, and a dark whitish purplish kind of color; risen slightly off his skin in a swollen fashion.
The mark was long, a good four to five maybe six inches I dare say, and it was placed right inbetween his chest and stomach in a lopsided line.
"What?" Harry asked making me break my intense gaze and I swallowed thickly as I forced a shakey smile and looked up at him.
"Just looking at the tattoo through the plaster. It's gonna look great!" I cover quickly, playing with my fingers as his face completely paled and his lips pressed into a thin smile.
"Yeah it will be." He then let out a small, fake cough, "Please excuse me for a moment, I need to go get dressed in more decent material." He says as he brushes past my seat and makes a swift exit from the room.
He must've know I saw. He must've caught where my eyes had drifted.
But where would one get a scar so horrible?
It looked like it once a deep, painful wound.
Maybe it was an imprint from a horrible car crash he survived? Or perhaps he had accidently fallen on a knife and cut himself? It just seemed so hard to dream up a story that seemed to fit the mark.
I actually felt a strong pulse of concern.
Was it maybe something he had received during a fight? It just didn't seem right, that type of scar didn't belong there on his body.
But why was it bothering me so much?
Well because I'm his friend of course!
And friends care about that kinda stuff. "
"So that's why he covered his chest with the pillow." I mumble sitting back in the cozy chair and looking out at the sun as it slowly begin to go to sleep for the night.
"Louis? Dear? You awake?" Maddie's clear voice then rang out as she waved a hand in front of my face and I blinked hard as I snapped back to reality and laughed.
"Oh yeah! Sorry, just got a little lost in thought waiting for Harry to come back." I admit and she laughs as well as she stretches out a hand to help me up and I take it gratefully and pull myself to my feet.
"Dinner is ready, why don't you come in the kitchen and begin to eat? I'm sure Harry won't mind, and you look starved." She says patting my stomach as I nodded with a smile and followed her out of the living room, across the hall and into the sweet smelling kitchen.
"Smells good." I compliment scrambling up onto the stool and she nods with a grin as a plate of honey smoked ham, mashed potato's, pineapple, and assorted veggies were laid out in such a neat fashion they were resturant worthy.
"Your good at food decor." I tell her as I grab my fork and scoop up a bite of mash potato's before moaning softly at the delicious taste.
"You always make you eating food sound like your getting sexual pleasure." Harry's deep raspy voice then calls out as I swallow quickly and look back to see him walking over, then climb into one of the stools across from me as Maddie handed him a plate and he gave her a thumbs up which she returned.
"How long do you have to wear the plaster for?" I then asked deciding to try and make light conversation and put the visual image of the scar to rest, for now along with his perverted comment.
"Just twenty four hours, maybe less. Can never really tell with the big ones."
He shrugs and grabs a small can of sea salt and pops it open before grabbing a pinch between his fingers and sprinkling it over his mash potato's.
"Want some?"
He then offered after repeating the pinch and sprinkle action twice and I shook my head as I swirled my food around with the tip of my fork.
I was still starving but I felt for the first time in forever a strange awkwardness between us.
I didn't know what to say to him whether he talked first or not. It probably had something to do with the fact that my mind was swirling with possible thoughts of where the mark came from.
"Is something wrong Louis? You seem troubled?" Harry questions cutting off a slice of his meat and popping it in his mouth as I shook my head. "Just unsure of what to say, for once." I admit in a light hearted tone, causing Harry to crack a grin.
"Why didn't you bring Scruff this time?"
"I didn't think it was nessicary?"
"Oh."
Our meal then became silent again. This friend thing was getting really hard, and we hadn't even made it through the first twenty-four hours.
"Um..Maddie?" I called out pushing my half empty plate away a couple of minutes later.
"Yes dear?" She responded tossing a dish rag over her shoulder and I gestured to the plate,
"Could you maybe wrap this up to go? I'm not really that hungry any more and I'd hate to waste it."
She nodded once I finished my request and grabbed the plate and carried it to the counter as Harry finished his food then got up and placed the dish in the sink.
"Louis why don't you go sit in the living room? I'll be out there in a moment." He suggested, turning on the warm water of the sink then poured a ball of soap into his hands before rubbing them together under the stream of liquid.
"Okay, I'll just not to steal anything." I joked, sliding off the stool and brushing off my pants as I walked out of the kitchen, across the hall, then into the living room where I took a seat on the couch, only to be joined by Harry less then a minute later.
"Did you enjoy the meal?" He asks drying his hands off on his dark jeans as he sat down on the other side of the couch and sat back crossing his legs, while I moved to a sitting indian position.
"Yes, Maddie is a good cook. Makes me wanna take lessons." I admit with a shrug and Harry laughs as he runs his hands through his hair pulling it back, then shaking it out so it became straight foreward again.
"You didn't seem very hungry though? Did you eat dinner before you left?" He questioned softly and I cocked an eyebrow at his strange question.
It seemed almost as if he was trying to nicely interrogate me. I felt with in that moment as if I had done something wrong, which I knew I hadn't because I'd been unusually quiet since walking through the door.
"No? Why do you ask?"
"No reason." He responded and crossed his arms as well slouching against the couch and I sighed as my mind then made the connection and I decided to flat out say it,
"You know I saw the scar don't you?"
His whole demeanor then changed as his body tensed and he swallowed hard, sitting back up straight in a formal matter while his face became a shade lighter.
"You saw?" He asks non-chalant, so softly I had to lean foreward slightly to catch the phrase.
"Yes. It's kinda hard to miss." I confess biting my lip and he glances to the side at me with an unreadable expression before sighing deeply and shifting positions so he was laying down on his back, his head supported by the arm rest, and knee's pulled up.
"I know. They all are." My body then gave a little jolt of surprise as I squinted my eyes in confusion,
"All?"
He nodded as he spread apart his knee's to look at me.
"There's more, I've just hidden them with tattoo's." He informs and I feel my heart give a small twist of sympathy and stomach a small surge of concern.
Why would he have scars?
No. More importently why was he telling me this? We had only known each other for maybe a month tops and he was telling me something that seemed to be a sensitive topic, and we were barely friends.
"So is that why you get tattoo's?" I ask unsure of what else to say and he shrugged,
"That and that they make an awesome decoration."
He points to the giant tattoo of a ship on his bicep,
"This is one of my favorites." He tells and a small smile appears on my face as I study it for a moment. I have to admit for a teacher he had really good taste in tattoo's.
"It looks awesome." I compliment and then brush a hand through my hair and sigh as my curiousity breaks through in my next stream of words.
"Where did you get the scars? Did you use to be a street fighter or something?" I ask and a sad, almost depressed look crosses his face as he craddles his hands over his clothed chest protectively,
"Lets just say I got hurt alot when I was younger. I was a..ermm..clumbsy child.." He states softly, but I could detect the lie tangled in his tone, he was leaving something out but I decided to go with for the sake of a fight that could easily evolve from this.
"Can I see it again?" I then ask much to my surprise and I believe to his as he remained dead silent for a moment before nodding slowly and he sat up for a moment, peeled off his shirt, tossed it to the side, then laid back down with an exposed chest and stomach.
I said no words as my concious seemed to detatch from my body and something drew me foreward as I nudged his knee's apart and wedged myself inbetween them so I could get a better look.
It looked even worse up close.
I wonder what kind of a tree he had fallen out of when he was a kid.
Yet I could tell there was so much more to his story then he was revealing.
I could read the sneek peek in his face.
No adult had a depressed look consume them when mentioning they had scars because they were were a clumbsy child, unless there was more to the story.
"It looks kinda cool actually. You could go around showing it off, telling people your the chosen one." I suggested and his lips turned into a small smile of amusement that quickly faded when I leaned foreward and brushed my fingers over the lump to make sure it was real, and his breathing seemed to alter in the slightest.
But he didn't stop me.
"It feels so weird." I comment and he bites his lip harshly, nodding and I pulled my fingers away as he clamped his knee's shut trapping me inbetween them.
"Harry.." I whine squirming and he chuckles as he mimicks my face, and attempts to copy my voice,
"Louis.."
"Shut up."
"Nah."
"Lemme go!"
"Nah."
I then let out a small huff of frustration but I couldn't stop the smile playing on my lips as I bit my lip.
Inside of my head my thoughts were screaming for me to push him away but I couldn't seem to find the will to do it.
I was content sitting inbetween his knee's while he was shirtless.
I've come a long way.
"I like your hair. It's so feathery and floppy." He then compliments and I grin as I pinch his stomach and he yelps,
"And I like your curly hair." I inform and he laughs as he swats my hand away so I couldn't pinch him again.
"Thank you?" He says unsure if I'm complimenting him or being sarcastic and I shrug.
-
That's how we remained the next half hour or so.
Both of us joking around and occasionally swatting or pinching the other, while I stayed mounted between his knee's.
It was actually kinda nice, to just have a light laugh and sit comfortably on the couch with no hard feelings.
I think our friendship was definately starting to blossom.
"You should come back over tomorrow, and bring Scruff."
Harry invites as he hovers over me while I pull on my shoes and gather my keys, and left overs from dinner.
"Yeah I think I just might." I admit truthfully.
I wanted to come back, I couldn't deny it.
But I had a reason.
I wanted to learn more about Harry since he was opening up now and I felt the draw to learn more about his past.
There was many questions left unanswered, and since he was now my friend I wanted to know.
"Good!" My new friend exclaims grabbing my shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze as we both walked to the front door and he opened it for me,
"Bye." I say stepping outside and he smiles and wave,
"Bye Louis." He then shut the door softly and I inhaled deeply as I walked over to my car.

This had just started to get interesting.

Notes