Clarity

"C'mon Scruff we have to go!" I urdged my stubborn animal as I tugged on his collar, trying to pull him away from his cozy spot on the carpet.
Today Scruff had been a lazy mutt and refused to get up unless I was feeding him.
Dumb dog.
Oh hey, I just pulled an Annie!
"Scruff I swear I'm going to carry you!" I warn as I kneel down and clip his leash on and he nips at my fingers playfully,
"Scruff.." I whined shoving his head away and he barked before licking my face, resulting in me huffing but smiling.
Last night I had hardly slept, because I had tossed and turned by the multitude for my thoughts about Harry had been consuming me.
The scar had been on my mind nearly the whole night, and our little playful session where we had just simply sat there telling jokes and funny stories about this and that.
It was actually nice, I was really warming up to this friendship thing even though something felt off or wrong about it.
Must be because he's my teacher.
This morning I had rolled out of bed extra early because I couldn't find the capability to sleep peacefully.
I would've probably gone straight to Harry's but it had been to early for that so I settled on doing my homework, and studying for my test in music.
Now I was dressed in comfty sweats and a t-shirt and trying to drag my dog out the door.
I was actually considering at this point not bringing him, but Harry had asked me to so I was going to.
And anyways I barely got a chance to spend time with him so it should be an oppertunity to jump at not avoid.
"That's it you furball." I say in defeat as I move to a kneeling position and wrpa my arms around him before pulling him into my lap with a grunt and standing up.
I wouldn't exactly call Scruff heavy nor would I call myself strong, but somehow I had managed to carry him out of the apartment and into the elevator.
By the time we reached the lobby he had gotten the message and kept struggling in my arms so I put him down and he obediently walked by my side through the lobby.
"Morning Louis." Debby called out and I shot her a grin and waved as me and Scruff walked through the front doors and out into the cool air. The weather was finally cooling off but I wouldn't exactly lable it as cold yet.
''Load." I ordered, opening the side door of my car and Scruff hopped in and settled himself on the back seat.
A few months ago me and Carson had trained Scruff to get into the car by himself so we would have an easier time getting him in.
Our old logic use to be open the door and shove him in, but one day that method back fired when Shailene had slammed the door on Carson's fingers, though I'm pretty sure she did that on purpose.
Speaking of Carson and Shailene I had like five unread messages from them, I'll have to respond to those later.
"Good boy." I coo reaching my hand back and stroking his head as I turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
The drive to Harry's was a quick one, minus the stop to grab an egg sandwhich from Starbucks, because it was on the way and I was starving.
Don't judge.
By the time I had pulled into Harry's parking lot the sandwhich was nothing but a wrapper and Scruff was spazzing out from excitement as he pawed at the window and whined before crawling inbetween the two front seats and nudging my arm.
"Shh..I'll get you out in just a sec." I promise as I scratch behind his ears then turn off the car, before hopping out and opening his door for him.
The moment I had opened the door Scruff bolted but I grabbed his leash and yanked him back.
"Nice try bro, but no." I comment with the shake of my head as I close my door and his then lock the car before dragging an over-excitemed pet across the front lawn, andd up the steps of the grand stairs. I swear this house.
Once I had made it to the front door I curle my hand into a fist and knocked four times before ringing the door bell six times.
"Stop raping the doorbell Tomlinson!" Harry's voice calls out from inside and I can't help but snicker as I ring it again to annoy him and he opens the door right as if on cue.
"Louis." He warned with a playful smile and I gave him an innocent smile and shrug as he rolled his eyes but laughed, as Scruff jumped up on him whining for attention.
"Hey buddy!" He coax's as he grips Scruff's face and rubs his cheeks, earning him a big sloppy kiss.
"Awww your so cute." He then let my dog's face go and Scruff dropped down to his feet and nosed my legged.
"You brought Scruff!" Harry points out and I nod as I rest a hand on Scruff's head and he sits down next to me.
"Yeah! I was pretty eager to actually. He hasn't been getting enough attention lately." I inform and Harry makes a pouty face at Scruff who cocks his head at him and we both laugh as Harry steps aside.
"Come on in, but if he goes wee wee or solid solid anywhere it's your problem." He warns jabbing a finger into my chest and I slap his hand away playfully, as he shakes his head and gestures for us to follow him after the door is closed behind us.
"Have you seen the back yard yet?" He asks and I shake my head,
"Good." He simply says and I pull my bottom lip inbetween my teeth as I glance down at Scruff who was sniffing at everything in his reach while we walked down the long hall, with all the empty frames.
I swear everytime I saw them I got this strange feeling.
Not an uneasy one but just one of frustration like something was missing.
"The longer you stare the uglier they'll get." Harry comments and I exhale as I refocus back on him and notice he was glancing back at me. "Isn't that the logic for everything?" I ask and he shrugs as we turn into another hall and I tug Scruff closer to my side because there were many statues and stuff that could be broken.
"Don't you ever get lost in this house?" I then question and he chuckles as he stops at a door,
"I did once, when I first moved in. It was definately a moment for panick." He informs and I laugh as he pulls out a key and unlocks the door.
"I would've taken you through the other back door in the kitchen that leads to the yard, but I want you to see the stunning part first." He tells, his eyes wandering back to me as curiousity curled into my features.
"Sounds worth it." I mumble with a small smile and he returns it only wider, as he pushes the door open, and cool air mixed with rays of light float into the house.
"Ready?" He asks and I nod as he steps aside and gestures for me to go out and I nod as I take a few steps foreward then walk through the door.
I would be lying if I said I didn't feel my breathing alter slightly in amazement.
The part of the yard he had let me into was a mini forest with beautiful, purely green leafed tree's and crisp grass that appealed very much to Scruff, along with the bunches of flower, making the floor of the mini forest look like a feild of rainbows.
"Whoa." I say looking up through the canvases of tree's and I laugh in wonder as Harry steps outside and shuts the door,
"C'mon, there's more." He informs before pointing to Scruff, "You can take him off his leash, the yard is completely dog friendly." He promises and I nod as I take off his leash and Scruff takes off like a rocket making us both chuckle and Harry begins to lead me to the right, along the small pebble path woven inbetween the tree's and I couldn't help but smile widely in amusement.
With in a minute we had emerged from the tree's and a big open area of fresh green grass, glinting from the sun was revealed.
"That is the nicest grass I've ever seen!" I state and Harry nods in agreement as he points to the left and there was a whole elligent display of sculptered bushes to look like various things.
"That's brilliant!" I exclaim and he bites his lip and smiles widely as he looks down then back up at me, obviously proud that I found the yard brilliant.
"Would you like to go inbetween them? Their designed to be sorta like a maze." He informs with a shrug and I nod eagerly but then he laughs as he points ahead and I notice the nice fountain, and Scruff was pawing the water in a cat like fashion, before he yelped and jumped in.
"Do you want me to get him?" I ask and Harry waves my offer off,
"Nah, he's good. The water isn't deep, and he should be able to get in and out easily." He promises, grabbing my arm and leading me across the grass and into the bush sculpters that seriously looked cool.
"Man! I wish I had a yard like this." I admit and he shrugs as we begin to walk inbetween the shapely bushes,
"It's nice, but kinda boring if you have nothing to do out here but work."
I couldn't help but note the sad tone in his voice and my mind flickered back to the part of Don't Let Me Go where he sounded lonely.
I was begining to seriously believe it, because he showed all the signs of it.
Maybe I should get him a cat?
"Well I'll gladly bring Scruff here to exercise everyday! I'm always so uneasy at the park." I admit and he nods,
"I would be to if I had a dog like him."
"He's a good one."
"Agreed."
We both then lapsed into comfortable silence as I ran my hand over some of the bushes and admire the defined characteristics of each sculpture.
"Their pretty cool huh?" Harry then asks breaking the silence and I nod as I stop at one designed to look like a little girl.
She was probably about up to my chest, and her hair was carved in a flowing motion like wind was blowing in her face.
"I like this one." I comment pointing to it and Harry glances back, and his face twists into a strange expression as I notice him swallowing a lump in his throat.
"Yeah, it's one of my favorites to." He says softly and I couldn't help but wonder why his demeanor became sad, and tensed.
Did I say something wrong?
Did I do something wrong?
Was he just generally upset over something?
I then shake my head, forcing my thoughts away as I move away from the little girl.
"Hey do you wanna see the theater bush? It's pretty cool and a little birdy told me you were into that." He suggests, his tone lifting with his lips.
"Sure!" I say turning to face him so I could catch up to him for he was a few paces ahead, but my feet then failed me and I felt myself stumble forward with a shout of surprise and he reacted quickly, with amazing reflex and to make a long story short the impact from me falling and him rushing to catch me knock us both over and I found myself on top of him.
"Well didn't that just take a little twist." He comments with a laugh as my cheeks grow warm when my eyes meet with his.
My heart then fluttered.
Fluttered?
Fluttered from embarassment most likely.
His expression then soften as he bit his bottom lip for a brief moment then I felt his finger tips brush over my cheek.
At that moment I should've pulled away, I should've gotten up and walked over to the nearest bush but I didn't.
My limbs felt to heavy to move, and my breaths became sharper as he cupped my cheek.
"Louis.." He whispers and before I have a chance to respond he pressed his lips against mine and I felt a weird feeling rush through my body.
It wasn't exactly awkwardness, but it felt out of place.
Like it wasn't suppose to be there, but I needed it.
At first I tensed and made no move to kiss him back as he moved his lips against mine, but then I found myself slowly moving my lips over his, and with in a moment his soft kiss turned into a heated one as he cupped my other cheek and I rested my hands on his neck while our lips begin to move quicker, and more violently.
Then he flipped us over so I was on top and he placed his left knee on my left side and right knee on my right side, as he moved his hands away from my cheeks and begin to run them through my hair, definately messing it up.
Through all these actions my breathing became sharper and uneven, my heart pounded an imprint, and my stomach was jerking in all directions.
His tongue then slid over my bottom lip and I dared to part my lips slightly as he jabbed his tongue in and meshed it with mine, as I rested my hands on his hips and he pulled me into a tight straddle.
I could actually feel myself getting hard from this.
This was my first tongue kiss with a boy ever and it felt a little strange, but not as strange as I would've thought.
His tongue was cool and smooth and it slid against mine perfectly.
Once he had finally won dominence over me he begin to swipe his tongue all over the inside of my mouth, exploring, then he whispered,
"This is what I do to my lollipops."
And he took my tongue inbetween his teeth before sucking harshly and a soft moan left my lips, as he then bit down on my bottom lip and begin to suck twice as harsh as well while tugging and a moan fell from his lips as well.
Then something snapped inside of me and I felt my closed eyes open slowly.
If I didn't stop this right now we were going to end up having sex again, and friends didn't have sex nor did they make out like this.
"Harry.." I mumble as he releases my bottom lip and presses his lips against mine again,
"Shh.." He cooed as the kiss became slower and more gentle, the rough and fast paced movements gone.
"Harry.." I said again my voice becoming a little louder and he then hesitently pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.
"Yes?" He heaved, his voice raspy from being low on breath and his face flushed which made sense because his skin was warm to the touch.
"We need to stop." I beg my voice coming out a little weaker then intended but I managed to get the words out.
For a moment a look of hurt and rejection crossed his face, hinting he might've had more idea's that went alot further then a kiss but I paid no attention to it as I added a soft,
"Please?"
and he exhaled, causing warm breath to spread across my face before he placed a hand on each side of my head and pushed himself up, before scrambling up to his feet, and he stretched and ran a hand through his hair as I stood up, and he held out a hand for me.
"Just pretend that didn't happen." He states softly as I take his hand and he pulls up onto my trembling legs.
"Gotcha." I say letting go of his hand and walking over to one of the scultures, making sure to step more carefully now as I observed one of the sculptures, purposely avoiding eye contact.
Now after our heated kiss, I felt weird.
I didn't know if it was because I felt awkward or because I enjoyed it though.
"I'll be right back." Harry then informs as I hear his frame shuffling through the bushes and out into the open yard.
Was he angry?
Doubt it.
He probably just felt shy and awkward after what happened so he decided to give me a moment with out actually telling me.
Or maybe he needs a moment?
"Stupid." I mutter to myself as I fight the urdge to kick one of the bushes, and sit down inbetween them.
My heart beat had finally gone back to a normal pace and my warm face was cooling as my breathing became more even.
I should've just gotten immediately up.
Why on earth didn't I get immediately up?
There was a perfect oppertunity for it, yet I passed.
But did I do it on purpose?
Did I mean to let the kiss travel that far?
Was the friend thing a mistake?
Maybe so.
Maybe I just couldn't be friends with Harry because he probably still liked me, which was a fact I still hadn't fully processed.
"Hey Louis! Come look at this!" Harry then called out destracting me from my thoughts as I called back, "Coming." while scrambling up to my feet and brushing off my sweats, before weaving my way out of the bushes and over to Harry, who had magically made a tennis ball appear, and was holding it over Scruff's head.
"Sit." He ordered holding up a flat palm and Scruff did as he was told and sat, much to my surprise because he only did that trick for me.
"Good boy." Harry then tossed the ball straight up into the air, and stepped back as it came falling back down, and Scruff jumped up into air, and caught the ball in his mouth with an amazing twist before landing on his feet.
"Wow!" I say in amusement as I clap and Harry bows as Scruff runs around him in circles and drops the ball at his feet before sitting again.
"Such a good doggie! Louis must be so proud." He compliments scratching behind his ears then he picked up the ball inbetween his index and thumb, before tossing it into the small woods and Scruff barked as he went bounding after it.
"He seems to really like you." I admit slipping my hands in my pockets and rocking on my heels, relieved the awkwardness from the kiss had finally begin to subside in such a short matter of time.
"It's probably my charm." He remarks with a shrug as he stretches then lays down, placing his hands under his head for support.
"Maybe." I then walk over and sit down at his side in a crossed legged position.
''So.." He says sighing as he begin to play with his fingers and then glances up at me before looking back to his fingers,
"I'm not going to be at the University tomorrow, you all will have a subsitute." He informs and I feel a strange twinge of disappointment as I cock an eyebrow,
"Why's that?" I ask and he swallows,
"I'm going to visit my parents in Cheschire. I'm leaving tonight and coming back late tomorrow night. I would've gone this weekend but I was busy so I promised my mum I would come for some of today and most of Monday. I'll be back Tuesday for class though." He informs in a ramble as I laugh and nod,
"Okay! I hope you have fun." I say in my goody two shoes tone as he shrugs and laughs, but the laugh is dried and seemed forced.
Actually if anything he didn't look excited in the least to go see his parents, his expression was blank, eyes dull, and body language tense.
"Yeah, I will." He says in a weird yet assuring tone.
"Something wrong?" I ask and he shakes his head as he exhales,
"The subsitute will be a good looking friend of mine so keep your eyes off her arse and on your desk." He teases a genuine smile appearing and I roll my eyes and slap his shoulder,
"Oh you know me, I'll have her screaming." I say with a wink and Harry purses his lips at me,
"Yeah, if you pull the same stuff on her that you pull on me she'll probably club you." He says and I smirk as he slaps my knee then sits up, and pulls his knee's up to his chest as he leans back on his elbows.
"What do you think of the yard?" He asks and I grin as I nod in approval, "I love it! It's so cool! Magazine worthy!" I praise sincerely as he flicks his hair out of his face and laughs,
"Yeah, it is." He then glanced over at me with a soft expression that made my finger tips tremble,
"It's perfect." He then adds looking me dead in the eye as he says this, and my breathing alters.
He wasn't talking about the garden. There was no way he was talking about the garden, not with that tone at least.
"I-" I start but my speech is then cut off as he wrist watch begins beeping and he groans as he scrurries up and brushes himself off,
"I'm going to have to finish packing now." He tells, stretching out a hand, a hand I took and pulled myself up with.
"Oh. Well, I think it would probably be best if we went now." I say rubbing the back of my neck and Harry nods,
"Whatever suits you." He says and I nod as well as I turn towards the woods and whistle for Scruff before he barks and comes bounding out, the ball no where in site.
"Hey sport." I say to him as he runs past me and over to Harry then jumps up on him, causing me to scoff.
"I see how it is." Harry laughed as he kissed Scruff's nose and scratched behind his ears before grabbing his collar and leading him over to me so I could clip his leash on.
"You can take him through the kitchen." The curly haired lad informs, pointing to the door and I nod as I tug a panting retriever to my side and sigh,
"See you Tuesday." I say and Harry bites the insides of his cheeks,
"Hopefully."
He simply replies, leaving me in a state of confusion to why he'd make such a comment but I decided to brush it off.
"Bye." I mumble with a small smile and wave, before I dragged Scruff across the yard, through the kitchen, and out the front door.
Once I had gotten him loaded into my car, I slid into the front seat and turned on the engine.
This situation seriously just got more twisted.

Notes