Clarity

That's it.
I knew what I was going to do now.
I was going to keep being rude and sassy in class only ten times worse then before.
Yet the question was how?
I had to do it in a way it would push him away because after careful thought I've decided that I'm done with this. I need to stop letting him consume my thoughts and concious. He got what he wanted, he got to touch me once and only once. There will never be a twice. No matter how amazing his lips felt around me, no matter how great I felt, it couldn't happen again.
"I'm going to make that rat hate me." I decide sincerely as I climb out of my car on shakey legs and lock it up tight.
This whole thing was really nerve racking.
Today I had purposely shown up late for his class even though it was going to be a bad mark on my record. I had to end this, I had to. I don't know why I couldn't just find it in my gut to shout at him I wasn't interested, rather then leaving him guessing, but it just didn't seem like it was going to be that simple.
I wish it was.
"Your late Louis." He informs the moment I walk in and I roll my eyes as I shoot him the dirtiest look I could muster, which he responded to with a confused one that nearly made mine melt. I actually felt a sense of guilt for giving him a nasty look but I had to.
"And your on time, guess that makes us opposites." I counter my voice clear and flat. "What happened to your good mood from yesterday?" He asks and I scoff, "There was no good mood, I was just to tired to hear your lame comebacks." A strange look then crossed his face as he looked at me for a moment then licked his lips and turned away,
"Okay then. Please go take your seat."
"If that is what you desire." I reply mimicking his words from last night as I sat on the floor,
"That Mr. Tomlinson is not your seat."
"It is now."
He then stood up, "To your seat now." He demanded pointing towards the direction of my seat and I shrugged as I slowly got up then slowly walked back to my seat which I took my time getting into while everyone gave me a funny look, because usually I was bad but not this bad.
"Now today class we're going to do a packet on the four chapters I asked you to read up to last night. If anyone has failed to complete the reading assignment pull out your book now, and I'll give you ten minutes." He says and a couple of slackers pull out their books and flip open to the page they left off on as Harry gestures for one of the girls to help him hand out the packets.
"Why were you late?" Carson inquires once he notices I'm seated next to him and he puts his phone away after wrapping the earbuds around it.
"I fell asleep and didn't hear my alarm." I lie as I pull out a marker to do my packet because that stuff annoyed teachers when it bled through the paper and smeared the answers making their grading work harder.
"Oh. Sounds about right." My friend teases pinching my cheek and I swatted him away as Mr. Styles came over to us, "Here Mr. Dean, Mr. Tomlinson." He says handing each of us a packet and I pushed mine away, "Eww..you touched it.." I whine and Harry narrow his eyes at me as his face twisted into that hard to read emotion again. It actually made me feel more guilty. This whole thing did.
Why couldn't I just muster the nerve to reject him?
"I'm going to touch you again if you don't cut it." He warns and I look at him in surprise that he would dare say that, even though Carson and anyone else that heard would have no clue what he was getting at.
"Go head threaten me, I can just expose you." I counter and he laughs as he shakes his head, "And I Louis Tomlinson could expose you with six words that you would dread for this class to know." My mouth then fell open. He wouldn't. I hadn't even done anything that bad yet except give him some attitude.
"Try me." I mutter and he smirks as my heart begins to race, immediately regretting the words and he walks back over to his desk before placing the packets on his desk.
Oh my gosh.
He's going to tell.
He's going to tell.
I felt like my chest was collasping as I gripping the legs of my desk tightly and my legs started to tremble. Why didn't I just reject him? Why did I decide to just be an arse instead? I was seriously fighting the temptation to jump up right now and storm out of this classroom but I couldn't seem to find the courage,
"I have something I forgot to tell you guys," He states brushing a hand through his hair as he leans against his desk and fiddles with his tie.
I was going to murder him. "You see last night I did something very exciting," He says making direct eye contact with me and my jaw clenches as I breath in and out slowly trying to keep my racing pulse to minimum even though it was throwing my body into a defensive demeanor.
"I went up into my room and," This was to much I felt like I was going to throw up. I needed an inhaler badly, and I didn't have asthma.
"I rented a Marilyn Monroe movie for us to watch today in class once you all complete and turn in your packets." I then let out a relieved breath as I bit the insides of my cheeks and looked down at my desk not wanting to see the devilish smile on his face.
I should've known he was going to pull a stunt like that. It should've been obvious. He wasn't going to confess to a whole class of young adults that he had blown one of his students. I don't even know what consumed me to think he would. It was proposterious. Yet now I felt my body going into the after effect from my extreme nerves and I wanted so badly to jump up and punch him then scream,
"Stop screwing with me!"
But again as fate would have it I couldn't find the courage to do such a thing for many reasons, and one of them being I was smaller then him. Ten blows from me would be equal to one from him by the looks of it, and I wasn't a violent person.
"So you all may begin now, and no fooling around." He warns as he takes a seat behind his laptop non-chalant, carelessly glancing around the classroom as I rest my head in my arms needing a moment to recover from near heart attack before doing my work.
I swear if this keeps up I'm transfering classes.
Actually maybe that wasn't such a bad idea!
Then again I felt more comfortable with the people in here and a part of me didn't want a new teacher.
That right there was the part that was confusing the hell out of me. I was nineteen, I should be able to sort out my emotions by now.
"Want some water?" Carson asks nudging my side and I glance out from the protection of my arms at my loyal pal who loved to cut me in line. "Is it poisoned?" I ask my tone light and playful and he nods with a grin as he hands me a chilled water bottle, which I take gratefully, before sitting up straight then opening it. "Thanks." I mumble after opening it and drinking a few sips then placing the concealer back on before positioning it at the corner of my desk while Carson smiled and shook his head,
"Don't worry about it."
"Believe me I won't." I sassed as I picked up my pencil and begin to to fill out the answers to the memory testing questions, each one form a different aspect of each chapter and using big words. Big words were such a pain at times, I actually had to slip out my phone a few times to google a few words for I didn't know them all.
Luckily though I managed to get through the whole packet with out any interptions from the famous knocker Mr. Styles and let out a content sigh as I closed the stack and pushing it aside, I picked up my bottle and pulled off the cap so I could take a few obnoxious sips.
"Alright everyone finish up, I wanna have time to watch at least half the film." Harry calls out and everyone scurries at a quick pace to finish the twenty questioned packet then closed it and pushed it to the side as well.
"You can clean up your materials right now, and leave your packets on the corner of your desk. I'll come pick them up after class." He orders in a firm but soft tone and my peers shuffle around and put their pencils and other materials away in their bags, then sound up zippers moving up filled the classroom.
"Now lets see.." Harry mumbled as he click on few things on his laptop, then walked over to the whiteboard and pulled down the screen as he gestured for Marcus to turn off the lights, which he did.
While watching these chain of events I glanced around the classroom trying to dream up an idea to annoy my green eyed teacher even more. I was considering maybe pulling a Superman stunt but I felt like that would be to drastic. It had to be something that could easily be blown off as an innocent action.
Maybe I could suddenly go into a coughing fit? Or keep sneezing obnoxiously? It would be a good way to put my theater skills to good use.
I let out a long sigh as I rested my cheek on my hand causing some hair to fall in my face and I furrow my brows as I trace a circle on my desk then my eyes drift over to my water bottle and a smirk carves into my face.
Perfect.
Absolutely perfect.
"Okay get cozy because this is a good one." Harry's voice then breaks through my barrier of thought as the pictures appear on the screen with dramatic music and I shift positions so I was leaning against my desk on my elbows.
"I want a Marilyn Monroe, Megan Fox look alike." Carson mutters to me and I snicker as I remain silent watching the film. I wasn't going to do anything yet, because I wanted Harry to think I was done with my crap. Finally once we had gotten about twenty minutes into the movie I made sure to move slightly to the side in my seat so I was in the direct line of light from the movie screen and I grabbed my water bottle.
This was going to end two different ways. Either I was going to be dead, or get my satisfaction of Harry getting so pissed he forgets about me.
"What are you doing?" Carson asks noticing my constant squirming around and I wave him off with a a wink as I bite down on the cap of the water bottle, and glanced Harry's way to make sure he was looking which he wasn't.
His focus was on the film, so it looked like I needed some help.
"Carson sneeze, cough or burp. Make some kind of sound." I hiss quietly to him and he cocks an eyebrow as he looks at me curiously but doesn't protest as he clears his throat and lets out a loud, obnoxious fake cough repeatedly.
"Good." I compliment giving him a thumbs up as Mr. Styles looks up and over at us while Carson rubs his throat and takes a sip from his water trying to make it seem more real.
I love my friend.
I then bit down on the cap again and took half the water bottle in my mouth and bit down hard on it as I sucked on it make it basically a blow job intendo and Harry's eyes widden; As some people glance over at me then a couple snicker.
This was a little awkward but I was greatly enjoying Harry's reaction so far.
His eyes were wide and lips twisted into an expression of him trying to contain emotion. He looked angry, yet amused at the same time as I moved my lips up and down causing the bottle to crunch in my mouth and I grip the bottom of it to hold it in place as I make eye contact with Harry.
I could then see it in his face, pass the frustration, amusement, and whatever else he had a little coat of lust covering his features.
"My gosh Louis!" Carson choked out as I glanced at him and he shook his head as he looked away, then Harry burst out into laughter which nearly made me choke on the bottle in surprise.
He was laughing, this was definately unexpected.
Once Harry started laughing the class slowly begin to join in then with in moments peals of laughter echoed around the room as people leaned heavily against their desks and Carson snickered next to me as Harry leaned heavily against his desk clutching his stomach.
How was this funny?
Though I had to admit Harry's laugh was kinda cute, like a christmas bell only deeper.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
I then pulled my mouth away from the bottle and threw it over my shoulder swiftly in miner frustration.
"Louis!" A union of voices then shouted as I heard a pop then a splash and Harry instantly stopped laughing.
"What?" I ask turning around and I faught the urdge to laugh as I saw the bottle had exploaded and splattered on two of the people behind me and the floor. "Oh." I then mutter in understand as the classes laughter died down and they all became silent as a Marilyn Monroe voice echoed around the room and I heard Harry inhale sharply.
Finally success!
Even though I felt a little guilty for making two of my classmates wet, but luckily they were the light hearted ones who took everything as a joke so they merely sponged themseleves off with their backpack straps.
Smooth.
"Louis you will stay after." My Professor then informs as he sits back in his desk chair and I dare to glance at him and a look of disaproval was planted on his face.
Ha.
"Sure I will." I counter sitting back in my desk as well and he shakes his head as he rubs his wrists and looks back at the screen. I really hope this doesn't come back to slap me in the face. The rest of class I remained silent crossing my arms over my chest and slouching in my chair, occasionaly sharing glances with Carson who seemed to be looking at me frequently.
Perhaps he was hoping I would pull another stunt.
Or he was just looking for something else to stare at besides the film.
"Okay go home." Harry then says exactly two seconds before the bell rings and he flicks on the lights and turns off the film as everyone grabs their stuff and begins to rush out but of course I only get as far as putting my bag on before he shuts the classroom door after the last student, trapping me in the room with him.
I really needed to move faster with getting out of class.
"Before you leave this class I want you to dry up that water, and throw out that bottle." He demands pointing to the general area I tossed my drink and I shake my head,
"I don't feel like."
"Don't pull that card with me Tomlinson."
"This isn't some poker game."
"Your behavior seems to be one though."
He states and I scoff,
"Your personality isn't to swell either sweetheart." I say sarcastically and he rolls his eyes and rubs his temples,
"Just clean up the damn water and get out." He says his voice becoming low.
"I told you I don't feel like it." I remind and he slams his hands on the desk as he stands up. "I swear Louis if you don't cut the arse act I will spank you!"
My eyes then widdened as I was deadly silent and bit my lips before saying,
"I won't let you, because I'm as straight as a board."
"Boards get broken."
I then let out an exasperated huff, there was no winning with this guy.
"I'm not into teachers who prey on their students." I say and he lets out a long deep breath. "Just go Louis, go." He points at the door and I swallow.
Why did I feel so guilty? Why wasn't I running?
This situation was messed up.
"Okay." My lips form softly and I turn on my heel so I could walk out.
I guess this means I win?

Notes