Envy (Niall Horan) [BOOK 1]

Elis POV
I feel myself shiver as the cold wind blows past me. My eyes slowly open and I quickly wrap my arms around myself. My face is soaked from the amount of tears that have fallen in the past two days.
I look around me and I observe the atmosphere. It's very cloudy and windy. I think it's going to rain soon.
"Please mom... I need more time to be with you." I whisper.
"Who are you talking to?"
I feel myself scream out of shock. I turn my head to the side, to see a little boy, smothered in jackets staring at me.
"I-" I begin to say.
"My momma and I have been coming here every day, and we always see you sleeping here. Why do you sleep here? " His innocent little voice says. He looks a little older than Lux.
As I'm about to answer him, a woman runs ups to him and grabs his tiny little hand. She is dressed in all black and looks as if she's been crying as well.
"I'm so sorry." She states apologetically.
I nod in response and she quickly looks down at the little boy.
"Toby, you can't just run off like that." She says.
His big light brown eyes look up at her innocently.
"I'm sorry momma, but this is the girl that has been sleeping here every day. She's awake now."
He then turns his attention back to me.
"Where's your momma? You were talking to her, weren't you?" he comments.
I Look down at my mom's tomb stone, not knowing how to respond.
"Toby! Don-" his mom begins to scold him.
"No it's okay." I reply.
I then look into Toby's eyes.
"I was talking to an angel." I say.
His eyes twinkle in excitement.
"Can you ask the angel if they know my daddy?"
I look up at his mom's eyes and see how tears are beginning to form in them.
"Of course." I simply state.
He smiles and surprisingly gives me a hug. I don't know why, but I wrap my arms around
him and I hug him tight. He's so innocent.
He let's go and stares at me with a smile.
"Thank you so much miss." He adds.
I give him a soft smile and I just nod my head.
"Momma, the angel knows daddy." He says excitedly.
I feel my heart ache at his words.
The woman wipes her tears and hugs Toby tight.
"I know sweetie. I know." She whispers.
I feel tears begin to form in my eyes again. I quickly try to wipe them away, so Toby wouldn't notice. I guess I was too late...
"Why are you crying?" he asks innocently.
I sniffle and I give him a fake smile.
"I-I... I don't know." I reply. What do I tell him? That I'm crying because I miss my mom even more now and I also wish Toby's dad was alive? No.
"You shouldn't cry. You're too pretty to cry." His little voice states.
I give him another smile as I try to control myself from crying any further.
I suddenly feel another gust of wind, and my body begins to shiver.
"Sweetie, do you have any place to go?" Toby's mother asks.
I look down at my mother's tomb stone beneath me one last time.
"Yes I do. Thank you for your concern." I respond.
She nods her head and her and Toby both walk away as they wave good bye.
I wave back and begin to get up. At first my legs feel a little weak, since I haven't gotten up
in a few hours.
I take out my wallet and I count the amount of money I have. I have enough for a train ticket.
Before I walk away, I glance at my mother's tomb stone one more time and I smile a little.
"Thank you momma." I whisper.
Hours later
I'm in front of Sofy's apartment building right now, and I feel exhausted. The train ride was long, but warm. It was nice to see my mother. Even though she wasn't physically there, I knew she was there with me.
It took me a couple of hours to walk from the train station to Sofy's apartment. I didn't have enough money for a taxi, so walking had to do.
I hope she's home.
I look for her room number and I knock on the door.
The door slowly opens and I see a tired looking James behind it. His eyes quickly widen as he realizes it's me.
"SOFY COME OVER HERE!" he yells from the door.
Sofy runs to his side, and she looks absolutely stressed out. Her eyes have dark circles under them, her hair is messy, and she looks like she's been crying. Her eyes widen and they begin to gloss. She pushes James to the side and desperately wraps her arms around me. She tightens her grip to the point where it's hurting.
"You're hurting me." I state.
She quickly let's go of me and slaps me on my arm.
"OW!" I respond shocked at her action.
"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ELI?!? IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN! YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE HERE LIKE A COMPLETE DUMB ASS, SO I COULDN'T CONTACT YOU! THE POLICE HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU FOR HOURS! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?!" She yells with furrowed eyebrows and crossed arms.
"Lower your voice. I'll tell you once we're inside." I say, trying to calm her down.
She sighs and moves aside to let me in.
Once we're inside, all three of us sit in her couch.
"Now tell me." She commands.
I sigh and I tell her everything. She's obviously been worried about me, so I decided to tell her everything, and I mean everything. I told her about the break-up, how I didn't bring any clothes, and my two day trip to Pennsylvania. She deserves to know, since I'm going to be living with her for a while. When the name 'Niall' was mentioned, she kicked James out so he wouldn't hear. I'm planning to thank her for that later.
"So that's my depressing story." I state.
She quickly wraps her arms around me and holds me tight.
"I always knew that Niall was an ass hole but I didn't think he would stoop that low." She says angrily.
I push her away and I sigh.
"Please don't call him that Sofy. He isn't an as- that word." I defend.
Her eyes widen in disbelief.
"What? Why are you even defending him El?"
I take a deep breath and I swallow hard. The tears begin to stream down my face rapidly.
"I still love him." I whisper, not being able to look at her.
She's not saying anything. She's judging me, I know it.
"Please don't judge me Sofy I-"
"I will never judge you Eli! I understand what you're going through. If James ever broke up with me, I don't know what I would do."
I look up at her and see how she's serious. She gives me a soft smile, which I return.
"Thanks." I state.
She hugs me again.
"Don't thank me."
I hug her tighter. My stomach then interrupts our 'best friend' moment and she pulls away.
"When was the last time you ate El?" she asks worried.
I bite my lip. I know how worried she gets when it comes to my eating habits.
"Tell me Eli!" she commands.
I sigh and I begin to fiddle with my fingers.
"Two days." I respond regrettably.
I can't look at her. I know that if I do, I'm going to feel guilty. Instead I feel my wrist being grabbed.
What?
Sofy is dragging me to the outside of her apartment.
"Sofy where the hell are you taking me?" I ask.
"You are going to eat something now!" she angrily states.
"What about James?'
"He'll be fine. Now let's go get you some food."
I roll my eyes as she drags me out of the building.
A month later
Sofy and James have been so kind to me. I told Sofy that I didn't bring any clothes with me and I don't intend to get them back, so she bought me a whole new wardrobe. At first I felt super guilty and actually wanted to return them so she can get her money back, but she finally said I could pay her back when I get enough money. I still have the thoughts in my head....the bad ones, but there are also good ones accompanying them. Maybe I can get over this...over him.
I haven't left the apartment in a week and Sofy and James are worried about me. James is actually a pretty nice guy. Sure, I've talked to him a few times, but now I know him better. I respect and appreciate the fact that he actually allows me to stay with him and Sofy. Not a lot of men would allow that, but he's not like most men. He's very respectable and anyways I don't think I've been that much of a bother since I haven't really been talking to anyone.
Even though I feel a little happy, I still can't talk to anyone. I don't know why... I hope I get over it though. I don't like seeing the image of a zombie when I look in the mirror.
Sofy said I can work at her restaurant as a waitress, that I have the job. She understands that I need time to cope with my feelings though, so she doesn't push me to start anytime soon.
I sold my phone the other day... well Sofy sold it for me. Since I have all the people I need to talk to close by, I don't need a phone anymore. I used the money to buy a used laptop. Anyways, my heart couldn't take the boy's constant messages. Yes the boys as in all of One Direction, except Niall of course. They probably will never know where I am, and I'm glad. Why would they even want to know anyway? I mean I didn't really talk to any of them, so why do they care?
I push away those thoughts and I log on to my computer. I usually just read news articles to past the time. I'm not very fond of TV so I find out about news from the internet. I enjoy reading anyway, so it's kind of a win-win situation. As I finish reading about the weather, I look to the recommended article suggestions on the side.
Economic rampage? Nah. Environmental awareness tips? Nope.
The third suggestion makes my heart stop. I slowly move the mouse and I click on it.
I begin to feel nauseous as I begin reading the short article.
' One Direction's Niall Horan the new bad boy? You may know Niall Horan from the boy band One Direction as the sweet, kind irish one. Well think again ladies. This teen heart throb has been caught taking a new woman to his hotel room each night. That's not all! No. It has also been confirmed that he, along with fellow band member Harry Styles drink heavily at a different bar every night. Sorry directioners, but this sweetie pie is now a full on heart breaker. Will you be next? '
I quickly close my laptop and begin to sob desperately into my cold pale hands. All the darkness begins to spread through my body rapidly, dissolving all the happiness I had. I wrap my arms around myself tightly and I cry on Sofy's now soaked couch pillow. He's already moved on...
Two Weeks Later
I'm here once again alone. Sofy's shift is almost done, so I won't be alone for much longer.
The past weeks have not been the best. They've actually been worse. Ever since I came across that article of him, I have to check daily. I always regret reading, as soon as I finish each article. I just finished reading one about how he just got his third tattoo. Yes third. He has three tattoos. The first one is on his right arm and it's just a thick, black outline of a circle.
No shading or anything. It's just a circle. The second one is of two angel wings, which are located on his left wrist. The last tattoo confuses me the most... It's located right above the circle... it just says W.A.N.E. in bold black letters. I'm unsure if he got each and every one of them because he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, or because they actually each mean something. He probably got them because he was drunk... According to the news, he's kind of an alcoholic. He never used to be that way with me. I mean sure he drank, but not like this.
I wish I didn't care this much, but I can't help it. My heart is aching for him.
I click on another article titled 'Taxi girls'
' Ladies watch out. Niall Horan now has a reputation as the bad boy heart breaker. According to witnesses, this boy band member has been allegedly sleeping with woman and sending them home in a taxi the next morning. Don't keep your hopes up ladies. It seems as if this boy well never tie himself down to one girl for a while. His last girlfriend was with a Pennsylvania sweetheart named Elizabeth Harrison. Still no idea of why they broke up, but maybe it has to do with his new love for alcohol, ink, woman, and taxis. Will you be the next taxi girl? '
My heart stops beating and I snuggle myself more under the blanket. I try to bite my lip, to try to calm myself down, but I can't control my emotions. I get off the couch and I run to the bathroom. I stare myself in the mirror and I cry even harder at the sight of my reflection. I have purple bags under my eyes and I look pale. Maybe that's another reason why he broke up with me... Maybe if I actually looked like one of those 'taxi girls' we would still be together. I sigh and I walk back to the couch. I re read the article over and over again. I begin to sob.
"Hey Eli." I hear Sofy say from the door.
She walks up to me and notices how I'm crying.
"Wh-"
I quickly shut my laptop closed and I wipe my tears.
She walks up to me seriously.
"Hand me the laptop." She commands with her hand out.
I stare at her hand as I remain frozen.
"Eli, I said give me the laptop."
I hold the laptop tighter to me.
She clenches her fists and grabs the laptop out of my hands force fully.
I sigh and look away as she opens the laptop and reads the article.
She puts her hand through her hair and shuts her eyes closed in frustration.
"Why Eli?" she asks.
"Why what?"
She opens her eyes and places the laptop down on the coffee table.
"Why are you fucking torturing yourself like this?" she says with tears brimming in her eyes.
I look down at the blanket and shake my head slowly.
"I-I don't..."
"Yes you do. Tell me." She demands.
I look up at her tiredly.
"He's moved on." I whisper.
She takes a deep breath and sits down next to me.
"Eli, you can't be obsessing over him. It's not healthy and it also kills me to see you like
this." She says honestly.
"I'm sorry, but I just can't help myself. This is the only connection I have to him." I whisper.
She wraps her arms around me.
"You may have to go to a therapist Eli... This isn't normal... I'm worried." She states.
I pull her off of me and I look at her in terror.
"No! I-I can't Sofy. I'll stop okay. I can't do that. Please I'll do anything." I plead.
She stares at me with worried eyes.
"Anything?"
I nod my head slowly.
"Then come to work tomorrow."
Silence.
I can't go to work.. I'm not ready.
"Eli, it's that or nothing." She states seriously.
I sigh.
"Fine." I whisper.
She gives me a forced smile and nods.
"You're going to get through this... I promise."
I just nod my head in response.
I hope so...
The Next Day at Work
"You ready?" Sofy asks.
"As I'll ever be." I reply.
She then grabs my wrist and we both walk in the ware house looking building.
"Hey guys." She states with a smile.
Eleven people walk up to us and wave hello.
"This is Eli. She's our new waitress." She says while letting go of my wrist.
"Hi." I say shyly.
They all introduce themselves and shake my hand.
Four of them are cooks, like Sofy. The cooks are named Lily, Cheryl, Mike, and Erica. Lily and Cheryl are twin sisters that look a bit older than Sofy. They both are short, and have light brown hair and green eyes. Mike is a tall African American man with really nice hazel eyes. He looks like he's in his fifties and looks very charismatic. Erica is a tall woman, with jet black hair and dark brown eyes. I can't tell yet if she's really strict and serious or if she's just shy like me. She seems like she's around the same age as Mike.
The other five workers are waiters/clean up. Their names are Camila, Luke, Leslie, Sarina, and Jeff. They all seem around me and Sofy's age except Jeff. Jeff looks like he's in his late thirties. Camila and Sarina are both beautiful blondes. Camila has longer hair than Sarina and has dark brown eyes, while Sarina has green eyes and medium length wavy hair. Leslie is a short, petite girl with long dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. Luke has gelled back red hair and blue eyes. His hair color makes him stand out in a good way. He's really handsome and his height is almost intimidating. Jeff like I said before, is older than the rest of the waiters. He's pretty tall, but not as tall as Luke and has dark brown hair and blue eyes as well.
"Now that you guys all know each other, let's get started." Sofy says excitedly.
The cooks and her all walk towards the back and I begin to follow, until I notice how all the waiters sit down.
"Um shouldn't we head to the back and start working?" I ask.
Sarina and Camila chuckle at my words.
"What?" I ask.
"No one really comes. So you don't have to worry about anything right now newbie." Camila says.
I just stare at them with one raised eyebrow.
"Pull up a chair and sit down. Tell us more about yourself." Sarina suggests.
I don't know how to respond... I'm kind of socially awkward...
Oh well. I have nothing to lose.
I shrug and I sit in the empty seat in between Leslie and Luke.
Leslie begins to stare at me intently, which makes me uncomfortable.
"Um what do you guys want to know." I ask trying to start conversation.
"Where are you from?" Luke asks.
"Pennsylvania. What about you guys?" I ask.
"I'm from here. Leslie and Sarina are from New York, Jeff is from Wisconsin, and Luke is from California." Camila responds for everyone. Wow she's very outgoing.
I look to the side of me and I see how Leslie is still staring at me. Camila notices.
"Leslie stop staring, you're freaking her out." Camila states.
I already like her.
"Sorry, but she just looks so familiar. Have we met before?" Leslie asks, still observing me.
"Uh I don't think so." I reply awkwardly.
"What's your full name?" Leslie asks.
"Elizabeth Harrison."
"Elizabeth Harrison. Elizabeth Harrison." She begins to repeat.
"Ya that's her name Leslie. Now you're starting to freak me out so stop." Sarina says.
"Eliza- OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE YOU!" Leslie bursts out with excitement.
Everyone gives her a questioning look.
"Guys she's the chic that dated Niall, you know the kid from One Direction. Well before he became fucked up." She states.
I feel my mood instantly drop as everyone begins to stare at me in awe.
"I got to go look for Sofy." I say before getting up.
I feel my wrist being grabbed.
"No don't leave! I mean um you should stay longer." I turn around to see Luke say while blushing.
Why is he blushing? I look at his hand touching me and he quickly let's go.
"I'm sorry. I just have to talk to Sofy." I state once again before walking off to the back.
I already hate this job.
"Hey." Sofy states.
"Hi." I reply plainly.
"What's wrong? Did they mess with you because if they did I co-"
"No Sofy it's fine it's just that-When do the customers come in?" I say trying to change the
subject.
She shrugs.
"It's kind of rare to get customers. No one really comes." She says sadly.
"Why don't you advertise your restaurant?" I suggest.
"How?" she asks interested.
"Are you still friends with Steve?" I ask.
She nods.
"Well Steve kind of is the manager of a very popular five star hotel. He can suggest your restaurant to guests and James can do the same with his co- workers."
She face palms and I chuckle a little.
"I'm such an idiot. Why didn't I think about that?" she says.
I shrug and I grin.
She then grabs her phone and begins to talk to Steve.
"Hey Steve. Can you do me a favor?"
Eight Months Later
It has been almost a year since I've been working here. My life has changed so much.
Steve began to suggest Sofy's restaurant to the guests and many people began to show up. Those people told other people, and then those people told other people. Before I knew it, Sofy's restaurant became a hit. She became renovating and now the restaurant looks like an actual restaurant. You can't even tell that it used to be a ware house.
The restaurant, which Sofy decided to call 'Passion' started gaining more and more stars. It now has four in a half stars! Celebrities and wealthy people show up all the time. It's hard to act natural around them sometimes. You don't know how hard it was for me to keep calm around Michael Buble. He is one of my favorite jazz singers of all time and I got to serve him. Instead of a tip he signed a napkin for me and gave me a ticket for his show. The show was pure brilliance.
I started saving money, and I finally got enough to pay for my own apartment. I finally got my driver's license, as well as a car. Even though my car is a used Volkswagen, I still love it dearly.
I grew a bond with Leslie and Sarina. At first they kind of creeped me out as well as annoyed me, since all they talked about in the beginning was about Niall and I. They grew bored of the same conversations, so they dropped the questions and talked to me like real people. They are now one of my closest friends. Camila was very nice as well, but sadly she moved to California to pursue an acting career. I think she'll make it. She sings and acts very well. Luke is my guy friend. Even though he flirts with me a lot and always asks questions about my past, he's a nice guy. There are more waiters and employees, but I just can't talk to them like how I talk to Sofy, Leslie, Sarina, and Luke.
Working here has it's upsides but also its downsides. Downsides? Many men ask for my number and treat me disgustingly. They think that just because they're rich I'll fall into their arms like goo. That's not the case and that never shall be. Even though some of the guys are actually quite polite, I can't say yes... I'm not ready. Whenever I think I've finally moved on, a little girl or even a teenager walks up to me and reminds me about me and Niall. Some nights I cry and read articles, but not as much anymore. I actually haven't done it in a few months. I think I'm actually getting over him. The last I heard or read was that he got kicked out of a bar and now has eleven tattoos. I sometimes wonder why he became like this. Did I cause that to happen? I don't know why I still even care...
I shake my thoughts as Leslie and Sarina walk up to me excited.
"I'm so nervous." Sarina admits.
"I know me too! Today is a packed house." I say.
"Not only that, but today the food critic is coming. We might finally get that fifth star." Sarina adds.
"Guys stop talking. You have to start serving." Manny, one of the new waiters says.
Leslie and Sarina nod before walking away.
As I'm about to walk away, I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around and I face Luke.
"Hey Eli... I need to tell you something." He says nervously.
"Make it quick, because we have to start serving." I say.
"Well we've been friends for a couple a months and you are very nice and-"
"Luke! Eli! Come one! Stop diddly daddling. You both have to help." Hannah, another new waiter says,
"We'll talk later okay?" I state.
He sighs and nods his head.
I wave bye to him and I begin to look for an empty table. All of them are getting served. I just stand alone like an idiot not knowing what to do, until Destiny(another waiter) walks up to me.
"Table four needs a server." She whispers.
I thank her and I grab the menus. As I begin to walk closer to the table, my heart begins to beat slower.
"Come on Eli you can do this." I encourage myself.
I take a deep breath as I'm directly in front of the people in table four. They don't pay attention to me, instead there talking to each other.
"Hello I'm Elizabeth and I'll be your server." I force out.
Their eyes widen as they face me.
Everyone becomes completely silent.
"Eli?" Niall asks.
I don't think I can do this.

Notes