Longing for you

As I woke up I felt Clary´s body all over me and I heard her sleepily breathing before I opened my eyes and actually spotted her in the light sun rays which shone through the window.

It was too early to get up and besides it was Saturday and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go back to sleep, but I could not.

Clary´s naked skin looked pale and translucent wherever the sun lightened it up. Her back looked so small and her blonde curls which tickled my nose made me smile.

Slowly I took her small little hands in mine and had to wonder about their size. How could she be so tiny and how could I be so careful with her, whenever we got intimate and all I could think about was how much I wanted her?

Before I could come up with a an answer to my question she slowly opened her eyes and blinked into the sunlight.

“Good morning sunshine”, I said and she made a grunting noise. Her body wiggled under my laughter and she nearly fell of me.

“Hey”, she protested with a sleepy voice and I made sure I was able to hold her close to me.

“How late is it?”, she asked and straddled up to me.

“Half past eight”, I told her and she groaned even more.

“Way too early”, she said and I had to laugh again. “Let´s go back to sleep”, she ordered me and I kissed her forehead.

“I can´t. Today we have this visiting for our probably shop for the bakery”, I informed her and she suddenly was seemed pretty awake.

“You do? Zayn and you?”, she asked and I nodded.

“You won´t kill him, right?”, she asked ironic, but I swore I heard some light fear in her voice.

“Nah. I mean without him I don´t have a chance to open the bakery at all so...”, I said and she only shook her head in response.

“You want me to come with you?”, she asked and I thought about it for some seconds.

“Do you wanna come with me?”, I decided to go with a counter question.

“I won´t mind spending time with you Mr. Styles. You know what this means?”, she questioned me and held her ring into my sight of view.

“You´ll become Mrs. Styles soon?”, I tried and she giggled.

“That´s right and it means that we have to spend a lot of time together in the future”, she said and I rolled my eyes playfully.

“Gosh, I should have thought about it earlier. Probably Aimee would have been the better choice?” Her face got serious and turned into a waiting mask.

“Too early?”, I asked and she nodded.

“Alright, so you wanna join us?” She nodded and gave me a quick kiss before she got out of bed.

“That´s all I get?”, I asked like a little kid who did not got what he wanted in a play store.

“You should think about that before you make jokes about your exgirlfriend in front of me”, she responded over her shoulder and I sighed deeply. I guess that was really all I deserved.

…

Clary´s hand was in mine as we walked down the street to the meeting point where we were supposed to find Zayn and the real estate agent.

Our walk was silent and I felt like there was no need to talk yet at all. The talking part was just ahead of us so I enjoyed the silence. Zayn was already waiting for us and his eyes grew a little bit bigger as he saw us, coming into his direction.

“Hey”, Clary was the first one who said something as we stopped and she freed her hand to be able to hug him.

Alright, I thought I would be okay with seeing them together, but actually seeing them next to each other made me jealous. How could he dare to kiss her, when he knew she was mine?

“Zayn”, I said as I saw Clary´s forcing face.

“Morning Harry”, he replied and gave me a polite smile. The atmosphere was more than just frozen between us and I wondered if this had been really a good idea.

How were we supposed to work with each other when it was already this hard to stay calm whenever he was around my girl? Would I have this jealousy feeling all the time? Because I felt like I could not.

“So you two still think this is a good idea?”, Clary suddenly asked and it was like she could have just read the unspoken question on my forehead.

“It´s worth a try, isn´t it?”, Zayn asked and looked at me.

Was it? This had been an idea for so long now and I was sure that this was what I wanted. But I was not so sure if I wanted it this way.

Could I risk to try something without knowing if I could take care of our money problems that way? Clary had the same questioning look on her face as she looked up to me and I knew I had to make a decision.

“I think it´s worth at least a try.” Both gave me their smiles, but I saw the same feeling I had in both of them. Fear, hope and a little bit craziness.

…

“It´s perfect”, I let out as I took another look around.

“Do you think? All I see is white walls over white walls and a lot of broken sockets”, Clary said and starred at one of the walls as she stepped real close to the friable Material which came down at some spaces.

“That´s just a small problem we can take care of. What do you think?”, I asked Zayn who had not said a word yet.

“It will be a hell of work for sure, but I like the old flair it has”, he answered and looked like he already had a lot of ideas how to make this place look good for costumers.

“Old flair? Don´t you think you should represent something which stands for our generation? Something young and different?”, Clary asked still unsure about this place.

“Just because it has seen already a lot of things doesn´t mean it has to be nothing else than just old. Don´t label things so easily!”, I joked and she stuck out her tongue to me.

“This place had already been a grocery store through the second world war before it became a kiosk and a hairdresser´s salon. In the end it had been used for a pharmacy market, but they went bust”, the agent told us and I quickly looked over to Clary.

She shivered slightly as the word pharmacy was mentioned and her face went angry and scared.
Whenever the word came up somewhere she reacted immediately.

First she broke out into tears and sobbed before I hugged her and told her that it was okay to feel like this.

Then she changed into yelling at the one who had mentioned it, telling them to never use this horrible word again and I knew she would probably never admitted how traumatized she were from this incident.

Taylor had suggested she should see a psychiatrist for at least once, but she only nodded her head and said she was fine.

But sometimes in the middle of the night she woke me up because she fought with a dream and let out terrified sounds so I had to wake her up and promise she had just been trough another nightmare and not a another real life experience.

Clary tried to be strong and act like she was, but she was not. To see her struggle with the pain and the fear would probably be so hard for me, if she would only admit it and let me or anybody else help her, but she just simply refused to.

Because she was a pighead and stubborn and had the feeling she had to deal with problems all on her own. At least nothing other happened in the shop now than her hands turning into fists and her facial expression, when she heard the hated word.

“Now I only dislike this place even more”, she said and I wanted to hug her so badly, but she was just too far away from me.

“We could make it a better place, I´m sure”, Zayn said and tried to cheer her up and she dropped her shoulders as a sign of resignation.

“It´s your decision”, she only shrugged her shoulders and I took another look around. In difference to Clary I really liked this place.

Just like Zayn said it had its very own flair and I could tell that a lot of things had happened in here already. It was small, but not to small to be able to give us what we wanted for our own business.

The room in the back could be easily used as a kitchen since it had enough sockets to plug in all the kitchen appliances and the toilets were intact enough to be used without much work and money to put in them.

Also I already saw the spot where I wanted the counter to be and I felt even more ideas forming in my mind already. Zayn looked like he just did the same.

“I think this is our place, mate”, I told him and he nodded in agreement.

“Sure, it is.” At least I already liked the way he just always got straight to the point without beating about the bush for too long.

“You take it?”, the agent said relieved and I nodded yes.

“Well then congratulations on your newest property Mister Styles and Mister Malik”, she said and I could not stop myself from grinning all over my face.

This could either become a great project or a complete disaster and I was already really keen on finding out.

Notes