A Book Review
"Looking Forward"
Rating: 2
Description: So basically, this girl ran away from her mom because she's never around and took her baby sister with her. She's raising her on her own.
Well, it's interesting, but I just can't grasp that the two sisters ran away. Who does that?! I think that's illegal! Oh well, but that's one thing that bothered me. Also, how does she have all that money to purchase "one of the nicest homes in the neighborhood" and a Mercedes Benz? I just think you should've gone a little more in depth for that.
Your ideas are intriguing, the sister being sick and on her death bed and all, so you have a good start. I personally always enjoy a little bad boy action by Mr. Styles, but it's a bit overdone, dontcha think? Try and be original, and twist a few things. I am tired of reading the same stuff over and over again.
Your grammar confuses me. Sometimes, it's superb and I can read it without problems, but other times it looks like you got a bit lazy. Just go through and edit it, it makes all the difference in the world. One more thing... please stop using "omg" It's not just you that does it, but it is a huge pet peeve of mine. I'm not sure why, but please refrain from using it. If it's your writing style, hey, that's you. I'm simply here to tell you what I think.
Overall you've got promise. You have room to improve, but hell everyone does. As much as my little pet peeves get in the way of me reading the story, I am massively entertained by the story. The rating of two is merely just your grammar mistakes and unexplained pieces.
I hoped this helped!
~M
Description: So basically, this girl ran away from her mom because she's never around and took her baby sister with her. She's raising her on her own.
Well, it's interesting, but I just can't grasp that the two sisters ran away. Who does that?! I think that's illegal! Oh well, but that's one thing that bothered me. Also, how does she have all that money to purchase "one of the nicest homes in the neighborhood" and a Mercedes Benz? I just think you should've gone a little more in depth for that.
Your ideas are intriguing, the sister being sick and on her death bed and all, so you have a good start. I personally always enjoy a little bad boy action by Mr. Styles, but it's a bit overdone, dontcha think? Try and be original, and twist a few things. I am tired of reading the same stuff over and over again.
Your grammar confuses me. Sometimes, it's superb and I can read it without problems, but other times it looks like you got a bit lazy. Just go through and edit it, it makes all the difference in the world. One more thing... please stop using "omg" It's not just you that does it, but it is a huge pet peeve of mine. I'm not sure why, but please refrain from using it. If it's your writing style, hey, that's you. I'm simply here to tell you what I think.
Overall you've got promise. You have room to improve, but hell everyone does. As much as my little pet peeves get in the way of me reading the story, I am massively entertained by the story. The rating of two is merely just your grammar mistakes and unexplained pieces.
I hoped this helped!
~M
can you please review and rate The mentally brave please?
Thank you =)
1/23/14