A Book Review

Description: The main character, Faith, and her family moves to London from California. She is very insecure, she cuts herself and by the looks of it starves herself as well. But it just so happens that she meets One Direction and one of them might be able to change her self harming ways.

Hello! In your comment, you explained that you want me to be brutally honest with you, and I plan to :)

So your story line is overdone. Self harm and anorexia are serious topics, so I'm not too displeased or disappointed when I find those types of stories. But sadly, you seem to be going down the same path everyone does. Please go more into depth about why she hates herself so much, and not just her appearance. I don't know if you've ever gone through what Faith is going through, but you need to show just how distraught and torn apart she is. She puts this fake smile on to please and take the attention away from herself, but really she's dying inside, slowly falling apart. All in all, details are critical for this type of story. Make me cry. I'm telling you right now, you need to make me cry and feel the pain that eats her away. You just tell me that she dragged a blade across her arm and that's it. I do appreciate that you explain the words that float through her head, but it's not emotional. Bare with me, it's very early and this might not be the best, but an example of what I would write is : "Pain. That is my best friend. Dragging that wicked familiar piece of metal is the only thing that brings me any remote form of pleasure, even though it is only intended to injure. That combination of the 26 letters gave me enough pain to last me a lifetime, haunting my dreams, making me rethink any decision I've made, keeping me from happiness, keeping me from myself…"

Your grammar is okay, but separate paragraphs when someone is talking. Instead of this:

"Hey do you like pizza?" "Yeah, but not with mushrooms on it."

It should be:

"Hey do you like pizza?"

"Yeah, but not with mushrooms on it."

And I think you used the term 'Lol' once. Please don't. If that's your writing style, hey, okay! Whatever floats your boat. But it's a pet peeve of mine when someone uses it, and most of the time I don't bother reading the story. Just remember that you will rarely catch a professional author using that term.

Also, why aren't her brothers moved out? Did you explain it and I missed it, or….? I was just confused.

Overall, your story needs work. I think you used a generic story plot, but like everyone else, you have the ability to go against the norm. I think it really could be a solid story, however, if you add more details. Rarely on this website I have read a really good, bringing the tears, self harm story. So you could do it! You could completely blow us away and make this review like the most ridiculous thing. I have faith in you! You're halfway there, just need a little push :)

I hope this helped, but if you found this to be disappointing or rude, I really can't say sorry. I explained I was brutal, you asked for brutal, and that's what I delivered.

Best of luck to you.

~M

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