I was looking for Jenna all day, to tell her what I know. I couldn't find her anywhere. I called Lexi, pretended that my mom is looking for Jenna, but she wasn't with her. I know when Lexi is lying, she wasn't. And then I remembered. The stars. Jenna loved the stars. SHE'S ON THE ROOF. I got up, and there she was. Sitting on a wooden chair, and looking up with her head. She had a notebook in her hands.
"Where have you been, I've been looking everywhere." I said a little worried.
"Up here. You were right, I did need to be alone." She said. She was speaking in one tone.
"I have to tell you something." I said. She turned hear head away from the stars and looked at me. "I talked to Harry after I left you in the room" I said and she immediately rolled her eyes. "No, just hear me out. There are some things that you don't know about Lexi"
"Like what? She's my friend, she told me this would happen. I just didn't listen." She said with regret.
"Listen…" I said and I started telling her
I heard talking. It was Lexi and Jenna. They were talking, and I heard Lexi say "He kissed me" I heard the rest of the conversation
"What? How…what?" Said Jenna. So what if some boy kissed Lexi. She's probably lying, but still.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault. I immediately pulled away." Lexi said. "Please try to forgive me, please." She was asking for forgiveness. Wait! DID LEXI KISSED JENNA'S SECRET BOYFRIEND.
"How can he do this to me?! I trusted Harry…" correction, Lexi and Harry kissed?! I don't know who Harry is, but I'm guessing he is her boyfriend. Shortly after their conversation, Jenna called someone.
"Where are you?" She said in a serious voice, and then continued "Are you sure?...Can we talk, in person?" She then hung up.
"Please don't be mad at him, he was drunk" Lexi said, but Jenna cut her off
"I don't care, that's no excuse! " She was getting upset. Few minutes after, Lexi left, and a few seconds later someone walked in.
"Jenna!" He said. He had a british accent. He must be Harry…wait…I've heard that voice before…Could it be?! I got out of the bed, and while Jenna was shouting at him, i peeked from the sliding doors. It was him. It was Harry Styles. So the pictures online of Harry and the girl that looked like Jenna, where in fact Harry and Jenna. I felt happy for her, but then I remembered what was going on. I kept on listening, and then Jenna kicked him out. She fell down, crying in her pawns.
"Hey, what's with all the shouting" I got out, pretending I just woke up.
"Please Leena, please, I don't want to talk about it" She said, while whipping her tears. I didn't want to bother her and make her that much more upset so I just told her
"I'm here if you need to talk, but right now you need to be alone. I know how you feel, sweetie" I patted her on the head, and walked out the door. I saw Harry in the hallway, walking away and looking into the ground.
"Hey wait up" I said. I was a little nervous, since he was Harry Styles from One Direction. He turned around.
"I'm Leena, Jenna's step-sister" He smirked a little
"Harry" He said as we shook hands. "Were you in there the whole time?" He asked
"Yes, and I heard everything-" then he cut me off
"You have to tell me what did Lexi say to Jenna, please!" He almost begged.
"She told her that you kissed her-" Harry cut me off
"That's not true. It's…It's not true! You have to believe me, I didn't kiss Lexi, she kissed me. She started saying all this things that she and I are perfect, and that Jenna is just an obstacle." I was looking at him with a same expression on my face while he was talking. "Please, please talk to Jenna, please"
"I believe you" I said calmly
"You do? " He was a little surprised. He didn't expect me to believe him.
"Yes. I know Lexi very well, we used to be best friends."
"Wh…what? I thought that Lexi hated you?" He asked me. I guess Jenna told him about Lexi's feelings towards me.
"It's true. But not for the reasons Jenna thinks." I said.
"Well why then?" He said, and then added "Can we not talk here. I can't stand the thought that one door is between us and I can't get to the other side"
We went to the bar downstairs.
"So, what's the deal with Lexi?" He asked. So I started telling him
"In seventh grade, Lexi came from Las Vegas. She didn't know anyone, so I started to hang out with her and soon we were friends. She became one of my best friends. We had so much in common. And I had a boyfriend then, his name was Eric." I said. "So we're sitting one day after school in this cafe, and she tells me thad Eric came on to her. I got so mad at him, so I dumped him. He was telling me things about Lexi like she's a bitch that came on to him and not the other way around. After Eric, I went out with Josh. He was this nerdy kid that was totally in love with me since second grade, and I kinda fell for him. So he was head over heals for me, and just a month after we started going out, Lexi tells me that he kissed her one day after school. I couldn't believe it, so I talked to him. He told me that she kissed him. I got a little suspicious, but didn't say anything. Then my cousin from Las Vegas came to visit me and she and Lexi knew each other. Lexi pretended not to know her, but Stella told me that back in Las Vegas she was this bitch that no one liked. She was a two-faced, boyfriend-stilling, family-ripping psycho. She came on to this girl's dad, her name was Mary something, and she cried to Mary saying that her father tried to have sex with her. " Harry just sat there, and he was looking at me. He couldn't believe what a psycho Lexi really is.
"So what happened after?" He asked
"Well, who would believe a divorced 40 year old, to a innocent 10 year old. So he served time in prison for pedophilia, and Mary wen't to foster care. Because she had no family, she started using drugs at the age of 12, and she died when she was 14. Overdose. So after that, they moved to New York, and nobody knew anything, so it was easy for her to make friends. And Stella knew this girl Mary, she lived on the same street. So I confronted her, but not about the past, but about Eric and Josh and told her that she can't hang out with me anymore. And she started hating me because I told some people about the reason why I'm not friends with her anymore. And when Jenna moved in, I hated her, so I didn't care that she would be friends with a psycho."
"WHAT?!" Harry yelled. He couldn't believe it. But everything was true.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
"Wh….what?" Jenna said.
"Yes. I never told you anything about her, because I didn't like you, so I didn't care. But I do care now, so that's what I'm telling you." I said to her. She was just looking at me with disbelieve.
"WHAT?!" Said Lou.
"That was my reaction as well…" I said to him. I just wanted to kill Lexi, right now.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?!" Lou started to shout. "What kind of a person would do that?!" He asked, still confused about the whole situation. "What happened after that?"
"WHAT?!" I shouted. I couldn't believe it. How is this possible?!
"Yeah, so I believe you. And after I tell Jenna this, she will believe you too…" She said, and then smiled.
"You have to tell her now, please. She has to know this" I said, and we got up immediately. And she suddenly turned around
"Wait" She said, with a confused look towards me "Why didn't you tell her yourself that Lexi kissed you?"
"I didn't want to hurt her. She was really happy that she had a friend. She was glowing, I couldn't bring myself to break her…" I told her. She nodded and we went to their room. Leena unlocked the door and we got in, but there was no one in.
"Where is she, where is Jenna!?" I panicked a little. Leena called her cell phone, but it was in the room. She then called her mother. And after their conversation she told me
"I don't know."
"What do you mean 'You don't know'?!" I was panicking "Where could she be?!"
"I don't know Harry. I'll look in the hotel, and near it, you can drive up to some Starbuck or some place she could eat. She eats when she's upset" She said. I smiled, and my eyes teared up. I remembered her big appetite.
I looked everywhere for her. I went over every single street in London, everywhere we have been. Leena searched the whole hotel, every floor, every hallway, every single room that she can access. Nothing. She was nowhere to be found. It was almost midnight, when I got back so I can shower, and that's when I was Louis in my house, eating my food.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
"So, now you don't know where she is?!" Asked Lou. I think he expected a happy ending.
"No. Hopefully she'll come back to her room, and Leena will call me…"
"How…how come you've never told me this?" I asked. Why would she hide this from me?
"We'll I really didn't care about you, until now." She said to me.
"So, basically what you are saying is that the one friend I had is a psycho?" She nodded "Then tell me this. Why didn't Harry tell me anything. It makes sense to like her, I mean, they get along very well. He was asking about her and he lied to me, so he can stay and 'talk' to her." I said and just about when Leena wanted to speak, I continued "You know what, no offense, but I'm done trusting anyone. I don't want to see him, or Lexi or anyone…Well I have to see you because we live together, but other than that no one. I hate being around people. I don't care anymore about anything. He'll get over me, he can have any girl he wants. And I don't even want to start with Lexi. So ,there. Goodnight. I have a flight at noon tomorrow."
She was just looking at me. She was feeling sorry, but I don't care anymore. Everything and everyone that comes into my life, hurts me. Why do I keep doing that? Why do I keep letting people in. I'm done.
I went inside, and Leena followed me. It was midnight, and I just wanted to sleep. Too much drama for me. If this was a movie or a tv show I would so hate it.
I went in the room, got in my PJs and fell asleep immediately.
It's 1 am. Leena still hasn't called. I'm getting really worried. Lou fell asleep on the couch. I woke him up and he went straight to my bedroom, and got under the covers of my bed. I guess he's sleeping over. I just stared at the phone. Why wouldn't it ring?! Maybe it's not working. I called myself from Louis's phone, and it rang. It's working. Why isn't Leena calling me?! So, I called Leena.
"Hey" She whispered.
"Why are you whispering? Did you find Jenna?" I said.
"She's sleeping." She said and then quickly added "You didn't leave your number and I still can't crack the passcode on her iPhone."
"Ohhh" I was relieved. "Thank god she's ok. Where was she?"
"Well you know how she likes the stars. She was on the roof." She answered me. Why didn't we think of that sooner?!
"Did you tell her? About Lexi?" I asked impatiently
"Yes…" She said, but she didn't sound happy.
"Please tell me she believed you." I said. How can she not believe it?
"Well she did, but now she is in a really bad state…" She said and then added "She doesn't want anything to do with anyone anymore. She's just gonna lock herself up again. She's gonna keep everything in. I'll try and talk to her tomorrow, when she gets up. Her head will be more clear." Leena was right.
"Ok. Please, PLEASE call me tomorrow." I said. I really wanted to talk to Jenna…
"One more thing. I forgot…" I asked what it was, and she wandered "We're leaving tomorrow at 12pm…"
"What?!" I asked, and then I remembered, when Lexi asked her when she was going home, she said in five days, that was on tuesday, and today, because it's after midnight, it's sunday. She leaves TODAY.
I fell asleep, hoping to see her again…
I got up at 8am. I was really tired. I showered and when I got out Leena was up.
"How are you?" She asked concerned. I don't get it. I AM FINE. I've always been on my own, why is it so weird now?!
"Did you pack?" I ignored her question, and acted as if nothing is wrong. She started to pack.
"I will. Listen…" She said but I cut her off
"If it is something about Harry, just leave it alone. Please. I'm better off without him." I said quickly. My phone rang. It was Lexi. My blood boiled.
"What?" I answered. I was barely self-controlling myself.
"Hey, are you ok about the whole Harry thing? He doesn't deserve you!" She said. Yes, and he deserves you?
"Yeah I'm fine." Leena got furious and took the phone from my hand. I didn't even try to take it back. I didn't care.
"Listen you narcissistic bitch" She said, she never defended me "Leave Jenna alone. She knows the truth about you, and guess what, SO DO I. You really don't want to mess with me, so just back the fuck off!" She said. My phone speaker is loud, so you can early hear the other side of the conversation
"Oh really, and what might the truth be?" She asked. She didn't know that Leena knew everything?
"Please, I know about your life in Las Vegas, I know about Mary. I know everything, so for your own good, get out of our lives, or you will be forced to deal with me, and you know how I get when I hate someone!" Leena said. Leena can be so nice, but she can be so evil sometimes. If she hates you enough, she can make your life a living hell. Not just in the high school kind of way, but really ruin everything for you. She is a family person. She once got in a fight with this girl at school because she was making fun of Stella, her cousin. I never thought she would go this far for me.
After Leena's words, I just heard Lexi's laughter, and the she hung up. Leena gave my phone back and I put it on the table.
"Please talk to Harry. He really cares about you." She said to me.
"Well, tough luck, I don't care about him" I was lying. I cared so much about him. "So you can tell him that, and I don't want to see him."
Leena was just looking at him. I said I didn't want to see him, but now would be a great time for the old Leena, the one who hated me, so she can call him just to 'annoy' me. But she didn't. Well, not in front of me at least…
My phone rang. I got up at 6am, because I couldn't sleep. It was 10 when it rang. It was Leena
"Hey, is she up?!" I asked. I couldn't wait to see her…
"I talked to her…" She said. She didn't sound happy "She is really done…" WHAT?!
"Wait…are you ….what?" She told me the conversation they had, and the last thing she said stabbed me 'Well, tough luck, I don't care about him'. How can she say this? "Are you sure she said that…"
"I'm not Lexi, I don't make up stuff…" She said. I couldn't see anything in front of me. My eyes were like this waterfall that has unlimited amount of water. Tears started to drip.
I heard some one say 'Give it to me.' And then the voice answered the phone, it was music to my ears.
"Jen, hey, are you ok?" there were so many things I wanted to say.
"Look, I am fine. Seriously. You can stop worrying. I just don't want anything to do with anyone right now, so please just listen to me when I say - I don't really care about you. You will get over me, because I am over you. Please…" She paused, I couldn't say anything. I couldn't say that I love her. The words could't come out "Goodbye, Harry." She said and hung up. I did't know what to do. How can she do this?! Why is she doing this?! i threw my phone on the ground as hard as I could. I woke Lou up, and when he asked what was wrong with me, I didn't answer. I just stormed out. He followed me, asking me what's wrong, I just got in the cellar, and pulled out a whole bottle of vodka. I started drinking…
"There" I handed Leena's phone to her. She had tears in her eyes. "It's done. Let's pack, shall we?" I asked, and I sounded casual. She didn't say a thing and started to pack. We packed, and soon it was 10:30 so we left for the airport. We checked our luggage. And got on the plane. We turned off all electronic. I had my diary. I kept thinking about Harry. He cared for me…But this is for his good, and mine too. I can't deal with lies and betrays, and Harry doesn't need a commitment-issued, unstable girl. It was for the best.
The flight was about 7 hours, more or less. We got off, and got our luggage, and into our car. It was 2pm when we landed, and we had lunch at a restaurant. After that we went home, to rest.
I logged on on tumblr and twitter. There was a worldwide trend #StayStronHarryDirectionersAreWithYou and another one #PrayForHarry. What was going on? I turned my phone on. I had 4 voicemails and 30 missed calls. What? I heard the first voicemail. it was at 11:40
"Please tell me you haven't left. Harry is really drunk and got into his car, and refuses to give up. He's on his way to your hotel. Just hear him out." It was Louis.
Then next voicemail was at 11:52
"So you already left. I can't reach Harry, please, if you hear this, call him, see where he is" It was Louis again.
The next one was at 4:31
"Harry was in an accident, he is in surgery as I speak, please talk to him, he's being reckless because of this. He's scaring me, he has never acted this way. Please talk to him" Louis.
And the last one was at 5:40
"I don't know if you listen to this voicemails, just want to inform you, he is ok. He was in a critical state, but he is stable…for now. "
My eyes teared up. The tears started to fall. I cared for him. So much…I thought I was doing a good thing.
"DID YOU SEE?!" Leena came in, running.
"Yes" I said in a quiet voice. I couldn't speak. I was shaking.
"Oh my god, Jenna" She started to get angry "You know, you can be so selfish sometimes…"
What? what is she talking about?
"What are you saying?" I asked
"Why didn't you talk to him!? You know, you are no better than Lexi right now. You got hurt, and now you won't even speak to him, and he is not even the one to blame. BOO HOO. When people get hurt, THEY GET OVER IT. They don't shut the world down! They move on." She talked really fast, i could barely follow her "And you know what!? you finally found someone who cares about you. And you have this unexplained fear that when people start caring about you, you push them away? Why did you do that?!" She stopped talking. I couldn't take it anymore. I exploded.
"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO ANYONE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE UP TO ANYONE'S EXPECTATIONS! I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE!" I said. I was tired of holding this in. I just wanted to protect Harry
"Don't you get it" She smiled through the sentence "That's life. You will never be happy if you don't trust. Sure, you trust the wrong person now and then, but when you find the right one, you don't push him away just because he MIGHT hurt you someday, you enjoy the moment. You don't ruin that. And you know what Ernest Hemingway said, 'The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them..'." She paused, and I smiled. So did she. "And believe it or not, I am jealous of you. I wished some boy would care about me that way. But no, I get stuck with dirtbags like Mark. So just…" Her eyes were in tears, so where mine. She paused, and then continued "Don't ruin that on purpose. Don't ruin your chances of being happy."
There was a silence when she ended her sentence and it was interrupted by my mom walking in, very happy…
"Your dad got the job in London!" She said. On Leena's face there was a wide smile. You could see that she was filled with joy. She hugged my mom, and they started talking about it at the same time. I smiled, and hugged them both. My phone rang. Mom and Leena went to congratulate Rob, and I answered it.
"Hey" It was Louis
"Hey, did you hear the voicemails" He asked, he was calm
"Yes, I just heard them. I was on the plane, my phone was off…"
"Yes I got that. Are you gonna come to London again? You need to talk-" I cut him off.
"I will. But I will be there in two days. And you can't tell Harry. I want to surprise him, ok? Promise me!" I said.
"Ok, ok. I won't." He said. There was happiness in his voice. I was glad I called him.
"See you in two days." I said an he sad goodbye. I went to join mom, Rob and Leena in the living room, and celebrate Rob's promotion.