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Loving Is Not Easy

Blast to the past

It had been about two weeks since the abortion.

i was lying in bed in my room
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=cool+rooms&safe=off&client=safari&hl=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=k53_UaffMMauiQf_
z4CwCw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAA&biw=1024&bih=672#biv=i%7C9%3Bd%7C9Tj9BhIqaC9zOM%3A
and I was thinking about everything while stating up at the ceiling
Getting raped
getting getting pregnet
getting an abortion
mum not believing me and basically thinks I'm dead to her
and my depression

i dragged myself of my bed and trudged over to my favourite but of my room
my window bed
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=cool+rooms&safe=off&client=safari&hl=en&source=l
nms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=k53_UaffMMauiQf_z4CwCw&ved=0CAkQ
_AUoAA&biw=1024&bih=672#biv=i%7C15%3Bd%7C1HAzVLPaunnvhM%3A

i liked sitting on it doing homework/assignments or just looking at the stars at night, I moved slowly to my walk in waldrobe
https://www.google.com.au/search?safe=off&client=safari&hl=en&tbm=
isch&q=stylish+walk+in+closet&spell=1&sa=X&ei=fqj_Ue_
nI86MkwWFnYAo&ved=
0CDIQvwUoAA&biw=1024&bih=672#biv=i%
7C35%3Bd%7CfZlOnfCLyRsLlM%3A
I picked my outfit
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=86668539
i grabbed my phone from charge and peeked out my door to see if the coast was clear jack and mum weren't walking around so I made a dash for the front door.

i walked to school trying to get back into my normal routine I put my headphones in my ears and started listening to this
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aE2GCa-_nyU
i felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped I had been really jumpy ever since jack
i turned around and it was Lucy
i sighed a sign of relief.
"don't sneak up on me" I gave a half hearted chuckle
"sorry, I thought you should now that you were singing loud" she laugh at me and I blushed laughing aswell, but that died down slowly sadness washing over me again and I guess it showed because luka stopped me.

" Luka is everything all right?" She knew how to read me like a book
dammit I feel like I should tell someone
"I'll tell you in the nursery" I whispered to her quitley while walking through the school gates.

we entered the nursery and I told her everything, I felt a tiny bit relived sharing my pain with someone that could at least try to be a little supportive I'm not trying to be well annoying trying to get help because I'm really not trying to I just need someone to cry with and tell me it's going to get better.

after I finished I looked up to see her shocked facial expression and she was crying, I hadn't realized I was crying untl I felt tear drops fell onto my hands she tackle hugged me saying
"it'll be alright I'm not going to let him touch you, if he puts a hand on you I'm going to kick his ass!"
i was sobbing and she was sobbing with me with her arms wrapped around me.
thats when I heard a clatter and it was the one and only

Harry fucking Styles