---

It’s been a difficult six weeks not being able to see Wyatt all the time. He’s been living in the BTT house for three weeks now. He still comes to school but must leave right away because he has practice all of the time now. We literally only get to see each other for two hours at night. He’s done three live shows already and the fourth is tonight.

“Hey baby” Wyatt hugs me from behind

“Hey, you” I kiss him

“You coming to the show tonight?” he asks

“Yep always, it’ll be me and my parents and sister. Kal, Autumn, Will and Serra have something to do for school tonight” I tell him

“Well that sucks, maybe you can sit with my mum, dad and sisters then. It’s the first show mum is attending since treatment.” He tells me

We talk about how Karen is doing and according to Wyatt she is so much better. She attends Alcohol Anonyms meetings and now has a sponsor to work with as well. I’m very proud of her she was a train wreck last time I saw her.

“Yeah sure we can sit with them” I say

“Ok cool” he says looking at his feet

Whenever something is wrong with Wyatt I can always tell. He looks at his feet and fidgets with his fingers.

“Wyatt, babe what’s wrong?” I ask

“Well with all the practicing we have to do and the coaching the show has decided to pull Niko, Ryder, Weston and myself out of school. We will be working with a tutor on set to finish school.” He explains

I look at the ground myself now as a tear escapes my eye. I try to hold the others back, but I can’t.

“Oh” I say in a shaky voice

“Baby don’t cry. It’s only temporary until the show is over. I’m sorry I tried to fight it, but it wouldn’t fly with them” he says

“I know it’s not your fault. It’s just we don’t get to see each other much as it is and now I won’t even get to see you at school now. Wyatt you have always been by my side, how am I supposed to cope with this?” I cry

“Bailey you have other friends to hang out with. Take your mind off things and do stuff with them. I have eight weeks left and then we can be together all the time again. Trust me baby I miss you too” he says hugging me.

---

A part of me believes him, that he misses me anyways. Ever since he started this show though and must be in the studio more and stay at the house he just seems happier. Maybe it’s the being in the spot light and his ego is growing, maybe it’s just my imagination. I don’t know but it seems to hurt me more that it hurts him. He is my whole life and I would die without him here.

Later that night we arrive to the studio a little earlier, so I can say hi to Wyatt before the show starts. Mum and dad find a spot next to Karen and the others, and by others, I mean all of the guys’ parents and siblings. We always sit together, I mosey on backstage to find Wyatt. It doesn’t take me long to find him with Weston’s big mouth and Ryder’s booming laugh.

I’m about twenty feet away from them when I see a short dark-haired girl sitting on Wyatt’s lap. She’s dancing around him basically giving him a lap dance. I can feel the heat rise in my face as hot tears threaten to spill over my eyes. That’s when I feel a pair of strong hands on my shoulders. I jump and turn around to see Niko standing behind me, his brilliant green eyes looking sympathetic. He leads me away from the sight I just saw so he can speak to me.

“Look I know what it looks like, but I promise you it’s just a dance routine we have to do with the girls of Cloud 9” He explains

“I’m not worried about the routine, It’s the fact that Wyatt saw me standing there and didn’t even acknowledge me.” I say tears freely falling now

“Bails I assure you Wyatt loves you endlessly. It may seem like he is being distant and blowing you off but he’s not. We’ve been working and studying our asses off” he tells me

After my little convo with Niko I go to find my seat feeling semi better.

Everyone had done an excellent job. The boys sang ‘Kids in America’ and now they are going to perform with the girls group Cloud 9. They are performing to the song ‘I’m a Slave for You’ by Brittany Spears.

Once again, I feel the anger and hurt rise inside of me. I can’t watch this anymore, so I get up and leave. I don’t mean just to get fresh air I leave and drive home.

Once there I park my car in the driveway and go straight to my room. I flip on the tv to see that they are at the elimination part of the show, so I sit on my bed at watch it.

The two bottoms for the young men are Completely Foursaken and Robbie. The results come in and Robbie is voted to go home. I smile and cheer a little as the boys do on tv as well. Now for the girls the bottom two are Alyssa G. and Cloud 9, when those results come in Cloud 9 gets to move on to the next round. They celebrate as the boys did except for that little bitch Andie she runs and jumps on Wyatt… my boyfriend knocking him to the floor and kissing him on national television. I feel the heat rise in my face again as a sob leaves my mouth followed by my screaming.

“I knew it. I fucking knew it!” I sobbed

I go to grab my box from under my bed and it isn’t there. Wyatt must have thrown it out last time he was here, bastard. I decided to go to my parent’s room and get a box cutter from my dad’s drawer they’re brand new and very sharp, so they should do just fine. I got to my mom’s cabinet and pop three of her Xanax before going back to my room. When I sit on the floor my phone starts ringing, of course it’s Wyatt.

“What” I answer flatly

“Did you see, we made it”

“Yeah, I saw, you know what else I saw?”

“What love?”

“That fucking skank Andie jump on you and kiss you and you not doing a damn thing about it Wyatt!” I yell hanging up my phone

I sit on the floor making mark after mark on my arm. The last cut I make is a little too deep but I don’t care right now. I grab a t shirt from the floor and wrap it around my arm. The Xanax has taken full effect by now, so I just lie where I am and go to sleep.

---

“Bailey! What the hell did you do” I hear a familiar voice say

I roll over to see Niko hoovering over me looking at my arm

“Why. why are you here?” I say

“Wyatt sent me, he seemed very worried, so I came to check on you” he said

“If he was so worried then why didn’t he come himself?” I croak

“Bailey let’s just go get you some help” Niko says

I go with him but not to a hospital. We go to a small cottage and he helps me inside. I take a seat on the navy-blue couch in the common room.

“Mum c’mere I need some help” Niko shouts

“Yes, dear what’s wrong?” she comes in

“It’s Bailey, Wyatt’s girlfriend I’m afraid she’s had an accident”

” No worries love, and no judgement here. Let me see that arm now love”

I follow her to the kitchen where she washes my arm with warm water and antiseptic before having me sit under the light at the table. She gets a metal box from the closet and draws out a syringe of Morphine before giving me the shot. She grabs some more tools to start stitching my arm. I turn and give Niko a worried look raising my eye brows.

“Oh yeah forgot to mention mum is a nurse, she’s forever fixing my friends” he giggles

“Ah ok, well thank you” I say

“Oh, sweetie you can call me Anne”

“Ok thank you Anne” I smile at her

When she’s done she gives me another dose morphine but in a pill and makes a spot for me to lie down on the couch. I ask her to call my mum for me because I am not moving from this spot until mooring. Anne does as I ask as Niko and I talk in the living room until I fall asleep. The last thing I remember before zonking out is

“How am I going to explain this shit?”

Notes