Chapter 8 of 'Strong'


‘What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re OK?
I’m falling to pieces, yeah,
I’m falling to pieces’-
Breakeven, The Script




Harry's P.O.V




I looked into Kayleigh's caring blue eyes and knew I couldn't lie to her. I took a deep breath and started my story. "A few years ago, when I was about thirteen, I met this sweet, beautiful girl called Amela Kadric...."


—Flashback—


Niall walked over towards where I was sitting with the other guys in the cave followed by this beautiful tanned girl with stunning brown eyes and silky black hair. They were both laughing at something stupid Niall had said and although something inside of me loved seeing her laugh, I also wanted to rip Niall apart for being the one to make her laugh like that. Wanting to rip my friend apart from a complete stranger scared me a bit. Nothing like that has ever crossed my mind before....What was happening to me?


"Boys, this is Amela. She's just joined the pack with her family." Niall introduced the beautiful girl to us.


"Hello!" The boys chorused whilst I took her hand and kissed it. "Hello beautiful. I'm Harry but you can call me...anytime" I winked causing the girl to laugh at my cheesy fail of flirting but although she was laughing, she couldn't stop the blush that was forming on her cheeks. The boys laughed at my words whilst Niall just rolled his eyes. I've known Niall since I joined this pack after my parents split and my mum left my dad’s pack. Niall knows exactly what I'm like.


"Sorry about Harry, he's quite flirty," Niall explained causing Amela to shrug. "It’s fine. Nothing I can't handle," She winked at me.


I knew then that I was going to really like this girl.



.......................................................................



Amela grabbed the beanie off my head and ran away from me. "Amela!" I yelled out annoyed but still playful. I loved my friendship with Amela. It was fun and playful yet could be serious if we ever needed it to be. Amela knew everything about me. Ever fear, every dream, every habit–Both good and bad–every secret, every fact. She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her. I've never felt so close to a person before, never mind a girl.


Yes I have a VERY close relationship with both my sister and my Mum but there are some things I can't even tell them. I went to my sister when my parents split because she was experiencing the pain from the split as well plus I was really young and didn't know or feel comfortable with other people. When Robyn and my Mum got together though, I went to Amela. I was afraid Robyn was stealing my title of my Mum's 'Special Little Man'. Amela encouraged me to talk to Gemma though who later helped me tell my Mum.


When I first met Amela six months ago I never imagined I would become so close to her so quickly. I never knew the first time I kissed her hand that I would do anything to make her laugh and keep her smiling.


I chased after Amela trying to get my beanie back, "Amela," I whined, "This isn't fun anymore!" I shouted, dodging running into people trying to catch Amela. I finally caught up to her but I accidentally fell over a football and landed on top of her.


"Ah! Harry!" She cried but then started laughing. My body was laying on top of her body, my weight probably crushing her lungs yet she still had the strength to laugh. Since I've always found Amela's laugh contagious, I started laughing too. My eyes caught Amela's while we were laughing and I knew then...


I really liked this girl.



.......................................................................



"We are best friends! How could she think anything was happening between us?!" Amela said frustrated, pacing in front of me. Before anything could happen, the principal called us inside and accused us of being together. The school has a strict policy on a boy and a girl being alone together and seeing as we were almost kissing on the ground, we got in deep trouble.


I had no problem with the teacher almost giving us a detention and letting us off on a warning but Amela wasn't. It truthfully made me feel so ashamed and hurt at the fact being accused of going out with me disgusted her so much she was having a rant about it. Still though, I couldn't tell any of this to Amela so I just listened to her rant.


"How dare she though! In what world is it wrong for a boy and a girl to talk! Or for a boy and a girl to play and mess together! Or for members of the opposite sex to be best friends!" She shouted annoyed. I will admit the whole 'Best friend' line was like a dagger through the heart but I ignored it and continued listening to her. Even if I didn't like what she was saying or if what she was saying was hurting me, I still loved the sound of her voice and would listen to her explain algebra just to hear her speak.


"Honestly though Harry...If I hold your hand, do you feel anything?" Amela asked me, taking my bigger hand into her smaller one. I looked into her brown eyes and melted. "Um......course not." I breathed, trying to control my emotions.


"And if I was standing really close to you, you aren't affected at all?" She questioned her body now presses up against mine, her innocent eyes peering into mine. "No....affect....at all." I said shakily, now trying to control my emotions.


"What about if my lips are this close to yours. Just a centimeter away and we'd be kissing. You aren't affected at all?" She breathed looking into my eyes intently. I filled my lungs with as much air as I could and shook my head quickly hoping she might give our lips a little space-She didn't. "Absolutely nothing." I told her, my voice gaining more composure. Trying to control my lust for her kiss was one of the hardest most painful things I’ve ever had to do in my life. This is huge considering I've been through my first shift.


"Then why is the teacher getting so mad? It makes no sense!" Amela finally pulled away from me and started pacing again. Although I was happy I could breathe again, I was sad her body wasn't that close to mine.


"I know Am, I know." After everything I felt today I realized what I felt for Amela was more than a petty crush, it was one if the strongest feelings in the world. Amela pouted in her chair, angry she got given out to for doing 'nothing wrong'. When I had to force myself to sit so that I wouldn't go over to her and kiss her pouting lips I knew. Thanks to my stupid principal I realized;


I was in love with this girl.



.......................................................................



Today was 'International Kiss Day' and Sophia and Liam, Eleanor and Louis, Zayn and Perrie and Niall and some girl he was banging today were off doing their own thing.


Amela and I were being our typical idiot, childish selves and went swimming, climbed trees, ate ice-cream, had a picnic and watched the stars. Amela pointed out how the sky and stars were slightly dull tonight bar one star so I told Amela how I felt about her without specifically using the words, ‘I’m in love with you.’


"That dull sky represents me and every struggle I may face and that shining star represents you. You make everything better and my life brighter."


Amela blushed causing a huge smile to make its way onto my face. Even after three years of friendship, I could still make her blush. I knew right now was the perfect time to make my move; do something I never had the guts to do. Amela looked at me not really expecting my next move. My face started nearing closer to hers before I chickened out. This moment was perfect but it could get more perfect and my Amela deserves the best. I jumped up from under her and held my hand out to her. Amela put her hand in mine nervously, slightly putting me off. Am I making a mistake? I placed both my arms on her waist while she wrapped her arms around my neck.


"You and I, my sweet Amela, are going to dance." I told her. Knowing Amela like the back of my hand, I knew what she was thinking so I took my phone out of my pocket and played Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran. If everything goes as well as it does in my dreams, I’d like this to be our song.


After debating with myself through the song and looking intently into Amela’s beautiful brown eyes, I brushed my lips against hers seeing if she’d pull back but when she didn’t I slammed my lips onto hers putting every bit of passion and love I’ve ever felt for her into the kiss. For a few minutes we fought for dominance, before Amela pulled away. My heart stopped. I had just ruined everything…


Amela looked into my eyes and this big bright light blinded me momentarily until images started flashing in my mind. At first I thought it was my past but I soon realized it was my future. I saw everything from Amela and me getting married to us having children. From growing old together, to sharing kisses, to me breaking up with Kendall for her. Everything! By the look on her face she saw it all too. I knew Amela and I was destined for each other, I only hoped she saw it too. I caught Amela’s lips in another deep love filled kiss. She broke apart not long after our lips made contact. She looked into my eyes and did something that proved my theory that she didn’t like me and I just screwed up our whole friendship; She ran.


The next day I plucked up the courage to talk to Amela and confess my feelings. I took a deep breath and walked up her porch steps. Before I knocked I got a text from Louis.

From; Loubear(:
Amela called Eleanor yesterday; after she ran off on you. Eleanor wouldn’t tell me what Amela said exactly but I heard Amela say she doesn’t feel the same way you do….I’m sorry mate 


I quickly swallowed back the tears, thought of what I would say, or should I say lie and I knocked on the door. Amela opened the door looking as beautiful as always but still slightly uncomfortable. I guess Louis was right….I don’t stand a chance with Amela-I never have. I apologized for the kiss and lied straight through my teeth. It was obvious Amela would never care for me the way I cared for her. In order to keep my friendship with Amela, I had to conceal my feelings for Amela. For now….and possibly forever. What I said next broke my heart but it looked like it eased hers;


"The kiss was a huge mistake. We were both caught in the moment. We're both best friends and obviously feel nothing for each other. Am I correct?" I questioned. I was hoping-I was praying she would correct me, tell me I was wrong and that she loved me. But she didn’t, "Of course not!" She exclaimed. I put a massive fake smile on my face and mumbled a small, 'Good.' I couldn’t stand being there anymore. This was not how I’d dreamed of today going.

Without thinking I started talking again, "I'm sure you now know we're mates, right?" I asked and she nodded. "Did you know before the kiss?" I questioned causing her to shake her head. I noticed she was being very quiet but I didn’t comment on it.


"Well I think maybe-" I started hoping she might change her mind, tell me she loves me back so we could complete the mating process and I could finally call her mine and only mine but she cut me off. "I think maybe we shouldn't tell anyone. If our parents found out they'd force us to be together. We should just keep it between us." I nodded in agreement, what else could I do? “It's really weird though. I grew up wondering who my mate was, not knowing she was right under my nose." I said in disbelief. Amela laughed but I couldn’t. All my life, I’d hoped I’d meet somebody who could finally help me forget all about my love for Amela but then I find out she is my mate. My own mate is my best friend and doesn’t love me back. She’s so ashamed of me; she doesn’t even want her parents to know! I quickly racked my brain for any excuse to leave.


"I better go; I'm helping Lou move Lux into her own room." I said before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘Really Harry?!’ I thought, ‘You’ve just been rejected by her yet you’re after kissing her on the cheek! Idiot!’


"See you later, Kadric!" I said, sending her a flirtatious wink and hoping she wouldn’t think anything of the kiss on the cheek. She’s just rejected me; I don’t want this day to go worse by her knowing I was in love with her.


"Bye, Styles!" She replied back, shutting her door. I exhaled a deep breath, turned around, ran my finger through my hair and walked home tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t understand, my heart is so sore, it honestly feels like somebody is reaching inside my chest and squeezing it whilst Amela is perfectly fine. She has every effect on me whilst I have none on her. The rejection and pain I’m feeling right now is intensifying whilst she’s probably at home, really happy, glad she has her best friend back. I’m all choked up yet she is breathing perfectly. My heart has literally been split in two whilst hers in fully intact.


How is that possible?


Why is it that I’m heartbroken whilst she is perfectly okay?


I’m falling to pieces and rather than her picking me up and putting me back together; she just swept me up and put me in the rubbish.


How is that fair?


Although all I have now is a tear stained stiff face and a broken heart I know that I will never get that girl.


—Flashback Ended—




Kayleigh's P.O.V




I let out a long exhale of air. Harry looked so heartbroken and so hurt there was nothing more in the world I wanted to do than hug him; So I did. I wrapped my arms around him and brushed my fingers through his hair. Although he was trying his hardest to stay strong, he let out a loud sob and completely broke down. He wrapped his arms around me, put his head on my chest and cried his tears like a never ending waterfall of hurt, pain and unrequited love. It was like he was crying for every kiss he longed to share with her, every time he wanted to confess his love for her, every time he wanted to punch a guy for looking at HIS love, every time he cried about her in the past.


It was almost as if he was clinging onto a rope with a tiny shred of hope that one day she might love him back....but the rope has now snapped, broken beyond repair and all be can do is stare at it helplessly as he falls to his death.


Every cell in my body wanted me to tell Harry, Amela felt the exact way about him. I desperately wanted to tell him Amela had always loved him and would drop Sam in a heartbeat if Harry would only tell her how he feels. Although I really wanted to tell him what my conscious was thinking, my conscious kept telling me it was a bad idea. That it was Amela and Harry's place to find out and realize for themselves.


I had to choose whether to go with my heart, tell Harry how Amela feels betraying Amela's trust and my own morals or continue holding a crying, broken Harry, listen to my head, respect Amela's trust, ignore my heart and possibly be the reason the two heartbroken teens don't grow up and realize they are both in love with the other.


I had to make one of the hardest decisions right then. Go with my heart...or with my head. Make Harry happy but possibly make Amela unhappy since she'd have to pick between Harry and Sam. What if Amela has lost all feelings for Harry is now in love with Sam and telling Harry would ruin his and Amela's friendship.


Although my heart was completely against it I continued to comfort Harry and let him cry, his sobs like an arrow through my heart.




.......................................................................




I walked into the cafeteria the following day. Yesterday after Harry and I left the janitors closet I went to the office and asked if I could go home sick. This wasn't exactly untrue; Niall's words put a bad taste in my mouth and made me feel sick to my stomach. I truthfully wasn't in the mood to hear Amela apologize on Niall's behalf or to hear Amela disagree with everything Niall said so I've truthfully been trying my hardest to avoid her. I know that was mean and cruel but I didn't want to think about yesterday never mind talk about it and I knew if I ran into Amela that is exactly what I'd end up doing. I quickly walked past the usual table I sat at on Wednesday's and walked over to the four boys who I've become really close with. They were sitting with four stunning girls and I was about to stop and turn around not wanting to interrupt then but when Brad saw me he gestures me over to the table and introduced me to the four girls.


"This is Brittney," He pointed at a stunning girl with blonde hair on top, black hair on the bottom and a few tattoos who was sitting on James' lap, "Jordan," He pointed at a pretty, tanned brunette with big brown eyes whose hand was intertwined with Connor's, "Bhumika" He pointed at a gorgeous tanned girl with copper brown hair and dark brown eyes who was sitting in between Tristan's legs, "Finally, this cutie here is Mina!" Brad finished, slinging his arm around a beautiful girl with shoulder-length brown hair and brown eyes.


"Hey! It’s nice to meet you girls!" I smiled at them suddenly feeling insecure-They were all so pretty! I now understood why Niall said I didn't belong here....


"Hello!" They all chorused, including the boys. I sat down beside Brad who gave me a sympathetic smile, "I heard everything that dick said to you yesterday. You okay?" He asked causing me to paint a smile on my face, "I'm fine, thank you."


"What he said was way out of order! Although I don't know you, Tristan had to keep me from hitting him yesterday!" Bhumika informed me causing me to smile. Although I can tell she isn't a violent person knowing she would do that for anybody who was being called names was reassuring since I hated it when people got bullied. I loved how Brittney and Jordan nodded along with her agreeing, saying they'd do the same. My old school seriously needed more people like them. Although I liked when Jordan and Brittney nodded along with her agreeing that they'd do it too I also liked how Mina disagreed with them saying she'd rather not hurt anybody even if they had caused somebody else to hurt.


After spending a while talking to these girls I realized just how different they were from each other but at the same time just much I liked hanging out with them. I mentally patted the four idiotic boys I call friends on the back. By the end of lunch I now had four new friends but I knew I had to get a slightly older one back. Even though I haven't known Amela long I really missed her and realized I could just tell Amela I didn't want to talk about the whole Niall situation. I know Amela would understand.


I thought back to what happened in the janitor’s closet yesterday.


Did I make a mistake?


Should I have told Harry Amela felt the same or at least let him know he shouldn't lose hope?


Should I drop hints to Amela about Harry's crush on her?


Should I just let Amela possibly fall for Sam and try and find another girl to try and fix Harry and make him feel loved again?


Will Harry and Amela ever end up together?


One question on my mind that made me feel disgusted with myself and made me feel sick to my stomach was haunting me. For some reason it wouldn't stop nagging me and I hated it! That one question that made me hate myself like never before was;


What could I change about myself to make Niall like and accept me...?

Notes