“When we get home, I’m going to have a serious chat with Bob and Lindsay about why they have never taken me skiing before! This is already, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the best holidays… ever!” Eleanor said as we both struggled through the door in our ski boots and thick clothes. She was right, I wished that I had done it earlier after only one morning. Since neither of us had been before, Louis and Jared had spent the morning teaching us how to slow down and not fall over on the button lifts, and it had been so much fun. They had been so patient with us considering everyone else had been up on the bigger and harder slopes, they hadn’t complained once, even when it had taken us two hours to do the shortest green run. So, El and I had decided to give them the afternoon to themselves and said that we would go back home.

“I know!” I laughed as I sat in the porch to take off my boots, “What do you want to do this afternoon then? They said they’ll be back around five, so we have like five hours to kill…” I slipped my slippers on and padded into the huge chalet, still in disbelief that that’s where we were staying for the week, followed closely by Eleanor.

“Should we prep dinner for everyone?” she asked as she made her way toward the ginormous kitchen that we had only seen briefly the night before.

“Sure, just something simple though?” I questioned as I followed her. I wasn’t an awful cook, but I wasn’t ‘good’ by any stretch of the word. She laughed and opened the fridge, peering in to see what we had to work with.

“We could make chicken noodle soup in the slow cooker? Warm everyone up after being in the cold all day?” She suggested, holding up the chicken breasts she had just found and gesturing towards the slow cooker that sat on the side. The suggestion instantly filled me with warmth. I smiled and nodded, happy that she had suggested something pretty simple.

“Here, start slicing the spring onions?” She said passing the green vegetable to me over her shoulder. I took them and placed them on top of the immaculate countertop, washed my hands and found a chopping board and knife. Thirty minutes later and Eleanor had found the rest of the ingredients and had joined me in preparation.

“So, what do you think of the place? You and Jared sounded like you were enjoying it last night…” Eleanor said with a wink as she began slicing some celery. I felt my face go bright red in response.

“Oh my god… you guys heard us?” I squeaked, filled with embarrassment and awkwardly remembering what Harry had said two nights earlier when we almost kissed.

“If it’s any consolation, you both sound great in bed!” She laughed as she shrugged and continued her chopping. I blushed and hid my head in my hands.

“Well, that’s awkward…” I said after a minute, getting up and scraping the spring onion into the bubbling cooker, “Can we talk about something else?” She laughed again and then her face went a little more serious.

“You and Alex seem to be getting on a lot better this time?” I hesitated and then nodded half-heartedly, no matter how it looked from the outside, Alex and I were definitely not getting along any better after yesterday. Eleanor seemed to read this in my reaction and continued, “You don’t seem so sure about that?”

“I mean, I guess so… I just don’t trust her… I think she’s planning something…” I said after a moment’s hesitation pulling myself back onto the stool I had just hopped off of. Eleanor looked up at me encouragingly and then went back to chopping her last few bits of celery while I spoke again, “It’s just something about her, I think she wants to get Jared back… she keeps lingering around him…”

“I don’t know, I feel like since Dean cheated on her-“ I looked up at Eleanor, my mouth gaping open.

“What?” I cut her off as she walked round to scrape the last ingredients into the cooker.

“Yeah… that’s why he’s not here? She was telling me, Lou and Gemma last night while you and Jared were… uh… busy…” She giggled again but I was in shock.

“She told me yesterday that Dean was working and that he was still trying to get here by the end of the week!” Eleanor was throwing some scraps that had fallen onto the counter in the bin when she turned to look at me with an eyebrow raised, “I mean it El, there is something really fucking weird going on with that girl… like what if she’s telling us all different things for some stupid plot she has!”

“S, no offence, but you sound a little crazy right now… maybe she just didn’t want to tell you since you’re dating her ex and she didn’t want you to tell him?” Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrow at her, “Well, think about it, you and Jared are so happy together, maybe she just doesn’t want it to get back to him that she isn’t as happy as he is… exes can be very competitive…” Realising that I was going to get nowhere with Eleanor, I decided not to push the issue any further and gave her a non-committal shrug, but in the back of the mind, I had decided not to let Alex out of my sight.

Once we had cleaned the kitchen, Eleanor said that she was going back to her room for a nap before everyone came back, leaving me downstairs to look for something to do. After looking around the living room a little and finding nothing other than a DVD collection, I expanded our search into the drawing room that Alex had pointed out but not actually shown us the night before. On opening the door, initially it looked like another living room, except there was a gorgeous mahogany grand piano in the centre of the room.

I stepped silently into the room and couldn’t help but run my fingers over the smooth wood, before sitting myself down on the small padded stool and stroking the piano keys gently. Smiling I began to press the keys in a pattern and before I knew it, I was composing a new song.

---

A few hours had passed when Eleanor came and found me. By now I had finished the song and was playing with the guitar that had been down beside the side of the couch, just practicing the few chords that I had picked up over the years.

“You want to have a jam?” Eleanor said as she took a seat next to me and extended her hand in a gesture to give her the guitar. I smiled and handed her the instrument and took my seat at the piano, waiting for her to decide what she wanted to play. She played the first few chords and I looked at her in disbelief.

“I’m not implying anything, that was all you, now are you going to sing or not?” She laughed. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Climb on board… we’ll go slow and high tempo…” I sang gently, feeling the music as I let my mind run while I sang. I started to think of Jared and I last night, our foreheads pressed together as he groaned and pushed himself inside me in rhythm. Closing my eyes and feeling his hair gently brushing over my skin as he kissed my neck, myself completely wrapped up in him.

“…Nobody but you, ‘body but me, ‘body but us, bodies together…” I could feel his fingertips gripping the backs of my thighs as we kissed, a thin layer of sweat building between us as my hands tangled themselves into his hair. I opened my eyes and realised the eyes that I had imagined looking back at mine were not Jared’s, but Harry’s. I pressed my lips back to his, allowing myself to have my fantasy for the duration of the song, allowing myself to imagine being wrapped up in Harry Styles… what would have happened if I had dared allow my lips to touch his a matter of days ago.

“… A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw… in the bed all day…” My fingers were touching the keys but I could feel Harry’s skin beneath them, his shoulders as he was above me and between my legs. His hair tied back in a messy bun with a few strands falling forward to my own damp forehead, hearing his grunts in my head and how they would make me melt into him and whimper his name…

“…Pillow talk… my enemy, my ally…” I imagined myself on top of him, kneeling, grinding as he sat up with me, pulling me close, meshing my lips to his with his hands desperately in my hair. Us both trying to find more of the other that we hadn’t yet uncovered. He would whisper for me to let go for him, that he wanted to feel it making me lose all control, I would try to moan his name but a feeling that intense would leave me speechless.

“…So we’ll piss off the neighbours… In a place to feel the tears, a place to lose your fears...” I imagined him unravelling beneath me as I started the last chorus, knowing that I would have to stop. We would lay back down together in silence, staring at one another, neither of us trying to cover up, a connection so deep neither of us would be able to break it. I would trace the tattoo on his chest and he would hold me close.

“…Fucking in and fighting on…” As the end of the song was only seconds I imagined myself trying to leave, him grasping onto my wrist, begging me to stay. My heart broke in two seeing the desperation in his face. Half of it got up and walked out of the door back to Jared, the other half lay back down with Harry. By allowing myself to imagine it, I had broken my own heart in a way that I wouldn’t be able to fix… I had admitted fully to myself that I was just as in love with Harry as I was with Jared.

“…It’s a paradise and it’s a warzone.” I sang the last line of the song as Eleanor finished the last chord, and then there was silence. I looked at Eleanor who smiled at me, clearly unaware at what had just gone through my mind and then we both jumped at the sudden applause that came from the door behind us. We turned around to see everyone standing at the door, and the only person who wasn’t clapping was Alex.

“Baby, that was beautiful.” Jared said, proudly as everyone began exiting the room. I stood up and he walked over with a wide smile and pulled me into a hug with my cheek pressed to his chest. I looked over at the door and saw Harry standing, leaning against the door frame. His eyes met mine and he flashed me a small smile with a wink before walking away with the rest of them, and that’s how I knew that he knew that I had really fallen for him.

Notes

I hope you guys are still enjoying my story, if you do, be sure to rate and subscribe!

If you want to know the version of PILLOWTALK that I listened to and imagined Selena to be singing in this chapter, search the Emma Heesters Cover in Apple Music (or possibly on spotify)

Comment and let me know what you thing!

All the love,

Lola xo