Only You

“That was bloody wonderful! Thanks for that, Eleanor! Fancy passing the recipe onto Gemma at some point?” Jensen said happily as he leant back in his chair at the dining table, the bowl in front of him that had been through three rounds of soup was finally empty, and he was finally fully satiated.

“Thanks Jen,” Eleanor laughed and then turned to Gemma, “Sure, it’s super easy and it basically cooks itself all day.” Gemma looked at her boyfriend and rolled her eyes affectionately as she reached her hand out for his.

“Right now that we’ve all finally finished-“ Louis looked at Jensen and laughed when he held his hands up in surrender before he carried on, “- I have a suggestion to make… I have been dying to get myself behind that piano all evening, so I was thinking that we could have a bit of live entertainment from everyone tonight, if you guys are up for it?” Everyone other than me seemed to chorus with resounding agreement that this was a good idea and began making their way toward the drawing room.

“Hey, I think I’m just going to go to bed…” I said quietly to Jared, standing over him as he was still sitting in his place once it was just the two of us left alone in the room. He furrowed his brow and pulled me closer so that I was sitting on his lap.

“What’s up beautiful?” He asked, his green eyes reflecting their concern as he rubbed my leg comfortingly, “You nervous knowing that everyone’s actually watching this time? You were amazing before!” He smiled and squeezed me gently to be encouraging. No Jared, the problem is that I am secretly half in love with Harry, and if he sings, I will probably fall even fucking harder which will make it even more damn difficult to keep my hands to myself than I am already finding it! I’m in love with you both and I don’t need things getting worse today, thanks.

“Yeah, I guess it just freaks me out knowing that you guys will actually be paying attention…” I lied as I lay my head on his shoulder, hoping that this would make him more likely to agree and just let me go to bed.

“Come on! If I’m going up – bearing in mind, Jensen is the singer out of me and him – then you have to too, baby girl, your voice is wonderful! You shouldn’t be embarrassed!” He smiled. I felt bad knowing that he was saying all the right things had my nerves actually been the issue. He pouted dramatically as he continued, “Please, I love hearing you sing…” I forced a small laugh and tried to relax.

“Come on then…” I sighed with a small smile and stood up, holding my hand out to him to walk to the drawing room together.

When we got there, Louis was sat with the guitar while he and Eleanor were discussing something in hushed tones. Everyone had taken a seat on the couch around them leaving a space at the end next to Harry. I realised looking at the space that I was going to be on Jared’s lap and instantly felt guilty, but Harry just smiled as we sat down.

“You guys missed the argument about the order,” He said as we settled ourselves down comfortably, I noticed as his eyes flickered to Jared’s hand resting casually on my hip and then back up again, so quickly that I nearly missed it and then he continued, “Jen thought you wouldn’t want to go on your own so you guys are doing a duet after Alex, and then Selena, you’ve been left till last, and apparently there is no disputing the order because it’s carved in stone somewhere.” Jared chuckled and Harry rolled his eyes at the stupidity of what everyone had decided while I just felt uncomfortable sitting with them both at the same time. I was glad for the distraction when Louis coughed.

“Okay, so this is a song that El and I wrote together a few days ago, hope you like it!” He grinned at his audience and then at Eleanor as he began plucking at the strings.

“In your eyes… I’m alive…” Louis began singing and I immediately realised that they were singing a love song. Of course they were. That’s what I needed. To hear a song about love while I was being the most selfish person in the world, and being in love with two guys at the same time. Their sweet song filled the room but the more it went on the worse I felt.

“Been waiting for a lifetime for ya…” Jared nuzzled his face into mine as the chorus came around. He reached up and tilted my face toward his and planted a small kiss on my lips. Part of me loved it as I did every time he kissed me, but this time I was aware of Harry’s eyes on us and it made the other part of me ache. I couldn’t be with Jared like this when he was sitting less than a foot away. I gave him a small smile and leant against him to be able to face my head away from him, but he just thought that I was snuggling in.

Louis and Eleanor carried on their song and I decided to focus all my attention on them. The way that they looked between one another, it was something amazing. Other than Jensen and Gemma, I really believed that I had never seen two people who looked as though they were meant to be as much as these two. His blue eyes were pretty much literally sparkling every time he looked at her and she just looked confidently back. I wish I felt like that, just in love with one person and so sure about it too.

Their song finished and everyone gave them a small round of claps. Louis put the guitar down and pulled his girlfriend toward him, planting a sweet kiss on her forehead affectionately before taking the seat that Gemma had just gotten out of.

She picked up the guitar and took the seat where Louis had previously sat, looking nervously at everyone smiling back at her encouragingly. Harry sat forward in his seat and gave his sister a thumbs up and my heart jumped a little, I loved how well they got on.

“So quick bit of background about this song, before you think that Jen and I have a terrible relationship… I wrote this song, literally about four months after we started going out so we’ve both changed a lot since then, but the sentiment still stands… so yeah… this is Can’t Stay Mad.” I watched as Jen smiled proudly at his girlfriend as she began strumming at the guitar.

“Said to meet you nine o’clock at your house… Read your text said nine thirty and you’re still out…” I glanced at Harry as Gemma sang and couldn’t help but think that this is the sort of thing that I would sing about Harry one day if we ever got together. I couldn’t help but think about Jared and Harry and how different they were. Jared was older, more mature and sweet. He was a perfect gentleman in every way he could be. He had control of his temper and was always there ten minutes before he needed to be. On top of all that he was gorgeous, he was six foot four with tousled brown hair and green eyes that I had got lost in so many times.

“…You forget things, kinda messy, you’re reckless… Something ‘bout it’s kinda sexy, I like it…” Harry on the other hand had a temper that could flare at the smallest of things, he was passionate, he felt things at his core and he let it show. He was rebellious, fun, he would turn up late and keep you out later than you should have been, but he would take you on adventures. He was the kind of guy that would have you screaming at him one minute and then he would have you pinned to the bed the next. He looked like less of a gentleman… his shoulder length brown hair made him look sexy in a bad boy way, and combined with the tattoo on his chest, he had the ability to drive me crazy.

“Calm down, pretty girl… You know you’re my whole world…Boy, I can’t stay mad at you...” They were both polar opposites. I was giving myself a choice between safety and excitement and I honestly didn’t know what I wanted more. I was in love with Jared, and I didn’t want to hurt him, but at the same time, my feelings for Harry were growing quicker than I could control. I was pulled from my thoughts as everyone started clapping as Gemma finished.

“She’s so good!” Jared said to Harry and pat him on the shoulder. Harry looked back at him and nodded, grinning proudly at his older sister’s abilities.

“She’s great.” Harry confirmed confidently as Alex swapped places with Gemma, picking up the guitar and turning to the rest of us with a smile.

“This song is called Honest, I hope you like it.” Her eyes lingered on Jared as if she were talking to him directly as she began strumming on the guitar.

“Last night the feeling of a paradise, when you caught my eye… and your hand, the feeling of them intertwined, lost when she walked by…” I felt myself go on edge as I listened to her lyrics. She was glancing around, but her eyes were definitely resting on Jared, much more than they should have been. I looked at Jared who just gave me a small smile and squeezed me comfortingly, clearly not understanding what I meant

“…If I’m being honest, I should be the one you hold… So tight and never letting go… If I’m being honest, you should see the way you look at me…” Harry looked at me wide-eyed and I could tell he was questioning if this girl was being serious right now. No matter how I felt for him and how he felt for me, this girl was being ridiculous right now. She was literally telling my boyfriend in front of other people that he should be with her.

“…Saturday night never felt so right when we’re standing in the cold… And look at the stars how they shine so bright when you’re with someone to love…” I wanted to get up and scream hello at everyone, like how could they not see what she was saying? How could Jared be that damn oblivious… unless he wasn’t. I looked at him nodding along to the beat of the song and tapping my leg in rhythm. Did he know? Did he feel the same way? Is that why he always seemed to make excuses for her?

“…I’m being honest.” The song finished and everyone clapped for her as she smiled at Jared and then looked at everyone else.

“Dean’s an idiot Alex!” Gemma said, getting up and giving her friend a tight bear hug. Jensen got up a second later and motioned to Jared to come and join him as he picked up the guitar. After giving me a small kiss on the cheek, I got up and let him move so that I could sit back down next to Harry.

“That was not about Dean.” Harry murmured quietly while everyone fussed around Alex who had conveniently started tearing up. I nodded in silent agreement as I watched her look sadly over to Jared who opened his arms to her for a hug. Seriously? In front of me? Not even trying to hide it now? She stepped closer and pressed her face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Well that was bold?” Harry scoffed. I couldn’t even answer, I just watched them feeling like I was looking in on a private moment, unable to look away but uncomfortable to stare at. And then it was over, and no one but Harry and I had noticed. Jensen then sat down and put the guitar around him and Jared took his place at the piano.

“Okay, so we’re going to sing You Found-“ he was interrupted by Gemma and Alex yelling out in protest from the corner of the L shaped couch.

“Anthem! Anthem! Anthem! Anthem!” Alex and Gemma chanted as Jensen rolled his eyes and looked back at his brother.

“We can’t play it because we need another guitar!” Jared’s voice came from the piano in protest. Alex quickly got up, ran into the other room and seconds later, returned brandishing a black guitar with a wide smile across her face.

“Any more excuses JJ?” I felt the jealousy rising within me at her flirtatious tone. He sighed and looked at Jensen who rolled his eyes again and nodded before leaning over and taking the guitar.

“Okay, this is a song that Jared and I wrote when I was eighteen that I will regret ever playing for Gemma for the rest of my life.” Jensen said with a sarcastic smile at his girlfriend, “It sounds religious… it’s not… without going to in depth, Jared and I grew up relying on one another much more than brothers usually do… so this is ‘Brother’…” I caught Jared’s eye and realised that there was so much that he hadn’t told me about the relationship he had with his parents as they began playing.

“Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need… we get a little restless from the searching… get a little worn down in between…” Jensen sang out. I watched Jared as his brother carried on singing the first verse of the song. He would harmonise every now then, but other than glancing at his guitar, his eyes were on me the entire time.

“… Brother let me be your shelter, never leave you all alone… I can be the one you call when you’re low…” His brother sang the first chorus and I was pleasantly surprised at how good they actually were. Jared began his verse facing Jensen while he sung and then turned to me for the second part and I caught my breath, feeling as though he were singing to me directly.

“…I ain’t made for rivalry I could never take the world alone… I know that in my weakness I am strong, but it’s your love that brings me home…” He winked at me as there was a deliberate pause in the music. I blushed and looked down at my hands. I could feel Alex glaring at me from her seat but wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of looking over at her. I was confused, but she didn’t need to know that. One minute it seemed as though Alex and Jared had something going on, and then it didn’t.

The song finished after a minute or so and everyone erupted into applause, making Jared’s face go red as he stood up and put the guitar back against the wall. He looked at me with a wide grin and I couldn’t help but mirror it. Harry took his cue to get himself set up as he came back over to where we had been sitting.

“I loved it!” I said quietly, taking his hand in mine when he took Harry’s previous seat. He smiled sheepishly as squeezed my hand appreciatively. I could see from the sparkle in his eyes that the compliment had meant a lot to him, which only made me question what was happening between him and Alex even more.

Notes

If you guys want to hear the versions of the songs that I listened to to do this:

Louis and Eleanor: For You - Liam Payne and Rita Ora (Acoustic Cover)
Gemma: Can't Stay Mad - Danielle Bradbury
Alex: Honest - Lauren Bonnell (Acoustic)
Jared and Jensen: Brother - NEEDTOBREATHE (Acoustic Cover)

Thanks for reading - let me know what you think <3