All Again

CHAPTER SIXTY SEVEN
Becca
Then.

I loved watching the way he worked a room. All eyes on him; awed and his wide unassuming smile, as he moved around.
‘How are you’
‘Nice to see you’
‘Thanks for coming’, all words he spoke and it amazed me how much he didn’t even realize his magnetic charm.
How did Harry not see the wide, interested eyes and flush blush of cheeks?
He was commanding so much attention in the room; as always.
For the last ten minutes I had been watching him: interact with me, interact with our group, interact with fans.
As the stadium began to fill up, he was once again called back to his rockstar duties. For now, stopped backstage, doing a quick meet and greet with the other 1D boys.
We had found them quickly, shortly after Harry’s ‘follow me’.
It became quickly obvious that Harry had prepped them on the deal today, because as they each hugged me, it felt like the first time, and the fact that I had spent a month with these guys, was not even close to apparent.
They all acted like I was some random woman off the street.
We had posed for pictures, and stopped for a quick chat, before management had intervened, saying the meet and greet was going to start; which brings me to here.
As Harry hugged a tall brunette, his green eyes moved across the room and found me.
I was in a corner, far from the action with the rest of the gang, but his eyes found me as if I was right beside him.
I smiled at him and his smile that was already plastered, grew a little wider.
Focusing back on the girl in front of him, who was quickly starting to cry, he turned from me.
For a brief moment, my attention caught the eyes of the other 1D boys.
They were all in different parts of the room, the time for posing for pictures, long past.
Now they were all huddled over autographs and t-shirts, talking to parents or like Harry, conversing one on one.
“You’re staring.”
Turning to my right, I immediately met curious steel blue eyes.
I smiled again as Kelsey stood beside me.
Her eyes hinted to Harry.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said coy.
“Sure you don’t.” she said with a smile, folding her arms.
She looked me over, casting her eyes downward and back up.
“So you didn’t tell me…” she accused.
“Tell you what?” I said breaking my eyes from the distractions in the room, and giving her my full attention.
“How you had progressed. You and Harry.”
I instantly chuckled, and rolled my eyes.
“What are you going on about now? You’ve never even see us together.”
She smiled.
“So this is what you guys are like, staring at each other all day?”
“I have not been staring at him all day.” I quickly argued. “If anything, I’ve been trying to avoid him.”
And I was.
My nerves had still not settled, and after our short rendezvous in his dressing room, I had been even more flustered.
In our small group, his green eyes kept finding mine, and I know he was enjoying this little pre-rehearsed secret.
Though, the cat was out of the bag for the most part I think.
I could tell that for Christina, she had quickly figured out this wasn’t me and Harrys’ first run in.
And Harry knew it too. I’m quite sure he was enjoying the fact that his earlier statement;
‘Let’s just tell her the truth, she’s going to figure it out anyway.’
‘No, she won’t if we do it right.’ I had said stubbornly. ‘We both don’t need the stress of it leaking’
‘Whatever you say, love. But she’s going to find out.’
Was coming true and Kelsey quickly confirmed it.
She chuckled this time.
“Well he’s not trying to avoid you.”
And then if on cue, Harry looked over at us.
I instantly blushed, feeling like he could overhear us.
He flashed another smile at us, then turned back to his fan.
“You’ve definitely had his attention Becca.”
“Well what do you expect? We’re friends. And he hasn’t seen me in a couple days-”
“And he’s only fucking you, flew you to London for a month, and won’t stop looking at you-” she pointed out, hinting at something.
“So?” I said.
“So…He likes you. Really, really likes you.“ she finished. “Like more than it sounded.”
I sighed. “You don’t even know him.” I pointed out. “How do you know what he likes?”
“Because I have eyes Becca.” She gave me a ‘duh’ expression. “It’s not hard to see he’s sprung off you. Look.”
I followed her gaze, and Harry was once again looking at us.
He gave another small smile.
Wrong time Harry.
I quickly rolled my eyes and turned from the both of them.
“And here she goes…” I mumbled, looking at Liam. “I was wondering when you were going to get started…” I muttered.
“It’s a good thing.” she said interrupting me. “I’m happy you’re happy, is all I’m saying.”
Why did it even matter? In a few weeks, he would going his way and I would be going mine.
I turned back to her, not amused with the conversation and the reminder.
“I think you’re reading too much into this.”
She placed her hand on her hip.
“I’m not. I think you and Harry are in denial though about what this is, or have you guys had the infamous talk yet?”
“And what talk would that be?” I asked in impatience.
“Hey guys?”
I turned at the sound of my baby sister’s voice, coming back into my surroundings.
Jeff, Xander, Christina, and the older lady who I had come to know as Cindy, we’re all looking at me.
“Everyone’s getting ready to head to their seats. You guys ready?”
I quickly turned my attention back to Harry, who had finished up with that fan, and was shaking the hand of another.
Kelsey nodded ‘yes’ beside me, but I wasn’t moving.
“After he gets done.” I said gesturing to Harry.
This meet and greet was broken up into two sections, and I knew the second group was going to be coming in shortly.
The walkie talkie’s around me told me so.
I wanted to give him a proper goodbye, in case he didn’t make it back to the hotel tonight.
I would have no other way of talking to him before the show, and if he didn‘t come, who knew when I would see him…
Hearing my answer, Jeff who was slightly beside me, flagged Harry down.
Catching the eye of his best friend, he wrapped up his convo, and moved over to us.
“What’s happenin’” he asked, catching our looks.
“We’re heading to our seats. You good?” Jeff asked.
Harry immediately looked at me- then Jeff- me, then Jeff.
“Now?” he asked. “You guys are cool back here, if you want to stay a little bit longer. We’ve got a couple minutes before we have to wrap up.”
Jeff turned to my friends.
“Christina wants to get some merch, and Becca’s sister is hungry.”
I turned to the girls, because this was news to me.
Though I had been stood beside them, I guess my last ten minutes had been focusing on Harry.
He looked back at me and Kelsey.
“You guys going too?”
“Sure.” Kelsey said. “I want to buy some stuff too.”
Then he looked at me.
“You?” he questioned. His eyes read, what do you want to do?
I just shrugged. Honestly I wanted to stay backstage.
I was use to it.
In the past month, watching him do meet and greets and pre-show prep had been my normal.
I already knew sitting in the stadiums listening to the sounds of Selena Gomez and Five Seconds of Summer and the screams of the girls before the show started would be foreign, but if that‘s where I was going….
He quickly looked back at Jeff, having his answer.
“Well you guys can go ahead, I’ll catch up with you after and Bec can just stay with me. I’ll send her out before the lights dim.”
I couldn’t hide my smile if I tried. It was a nice feeling to know he wanted me to stay back with him too.
Kelsey smiled as well, giving me a quick glance.
And it continues…
I tried to ignore her, and Christina, and Taylor, and Jeff, and Xander, and Cindy, who were now all looking at me.
Whatever secret we had now out of the box. The casualness and drop of my private nickname telling its own story.
I tried to ignore the eyes of Christina the most.
“Well alright.” Jeff said. “Let’s round it up.”
Harry said his quick goodbyes to my friends, and promised to see them soon.
Then, he bounced back over to the fans, knowing I was now going to be waiting with him.
I watched him finish up.
He still kept some of his attention on me, making sure I was fine, but eventually my attention went to others in the room.
Cal Aurand, who I had come into contact with quite a lot, came and stood by me, after snapping more photos.
“We meet again.” he said with a smile.
“Seems that way.”
“How long you staying this time? Touring with the US shows?”
I sighed in disappointment.
“No, school starts back up for me next month, so I’m going to spend most of this month with family and working.”
“New York right?”
“M’hmm.”
He chuckled.
“Yeah Harry said he’s not looking forward to visiting in the winter. Said it’s going to be brutal.”
I smiled.
“New York is brutal. Chill hits your bones.”
Then I looked at him in surprise and excitement.
“But, you guys have stuff lined up there already? For the album?”
“Not me or the crew…It sounded like you and Harry had plans.”
I looked at him curiously.
“When did he say all this?”
He shrugged.
“I don’t know. Couple weeks ago. When you guys went to New York I think. Mentioned it in passing.”
“Oh.” was all I said.
“Maybe I misunderstood.” he said a second later, reading my expression.
I nodded in agreement.
I think he did too. He must have mixed up something Harry had said.
Speaking of…
I turned my eyes back to Harry, and the new, pretty light skinned girls he was joking with now.
The second group was in and he was getting ready to pose for a picture.
“Can you kiss my cheek?” one of them asked.
“Sure.” Harry said.
My eyes narrowed.
As he leaned down and kissed the requestor’s cheek, a small wave of jealously moved through me, though I didn’t know why.
This was his job, and he was an easy going guy.
Flirting was almost natural for him and deep inside I knew it didn‘t mean anything; still, if looks could kill...
“Oh that’s my cue.” Cal said, moving away from me quickly.
He quickly snapped off pictures, and I tried not to cut my eyes at the new, bold flirtatious bunch.
Yet, it was hard not to hate them. It was human nature. Seeing him with another woman was unsettling to me.
I watched as the tables turned and the girls started kissing him.
Ugh.
I moved out of the room, and back into the hall.
I had seen enough for now.
Pulling out my phone, I saw some missed texts from my mom, and checked my Facebook notifications.
Since my sister had ‘tagged’ me and already posted the pictures with the boys, my phone was blowing up.
“Hey Becca, say cheese!”
I looked up in time to see the bright light of a flash, and the wide smile of Lou Teasdale with a camera in my face.
“Sorry, sorry.” she said enclosing me in a hug. “I’m documenting everything tonight and couldn‘t resist.”
I just smiled.
“Why?”
“Just because. First show. It‘s good to see you.”
“You too!”
“Want to walk with me? I'm heading to the rooms.”
“Oh I’m waiting on Harry. Just taking a break from all of that.”
I gestured with my hands to the room, and she knew what I meant.
She smiled back.
“He’ll find you. Come!”
“Oh-” I began but it was no use debating, because she started pulling me.
On the trek, we caught up since it had been about two weeks since I had seen her.
We talked about her boyfriend and some party she was inviting me to that evening.
“I probably won’t be there. I’m hanging out at my hotel tonight. This might all be too much for me.”
She smiled.
“Not used to it yet?”
“Don’t think I ever will be.”
“Which shows you coming to this time?” she asked, getting her station ready.
Touch up’s were getting ready to commence, and showtime was drawing closer and closer.
“I don’t know.” I said sitting in a chair. “This might be my last one for a while.”
“By choice?” she questioned.
I shrugged.
“I have work.” I said simply.
Eventually Lottie joined us and we moved on from the conversations of Harry and shows until he came to find me.
“So this is where you disappeared huh? I was starting to give up.” he asked coming into the room.
By then, we were all enthralled in laughter and sharing a joke.
I stood.
“Sorry.” I apologized with a smile. His stance let me know we weren’t staying.
“No worries.” he said, then looked at the girls.
“I’m going to steal her now. You’ll have to continue whatever this lovely conversation is later.” he gestured to our giggles.
“No, no. I need you. Hop in the chair.” Lou said.
“I’m good.” Harry said. “I’m not changing and my hair is fine.”
For added measure, he tossed it with his hand.
“Well let me touch up your makeup. You guys go on in thirty.”
“Five minutes.” he said holding up ‘five’ fingers. “I’ll be right back.”
Lou agreed and let him pull me away.
“Where are we going?” I asked as we left the room.
Not answering me, he grabbed my hand and entwined it with his.
We walked down the hall, passing management.
“Thirty minutes.” they reminded, giving me a pointed glance.
“I know.” Harry reassured. “I’ll be there.”
I knew they didn’t like distractions of their money makers, and their looks showcased they didn’t like me still backstage.
“Where are we going?” I whispered loudly again as we kept walking.
“Just somewhere private.” he said. “I just want another minute with you before all the craziness.”
I smiled and wrapped my free arm around the hand that was pulling us.
“You’re pulling me away so we can neck aren‘t you?”
He smiled at me with wide dimples.
“No. I’m pulling you away because I want to tell you something.”
“In private?” I asked, but he didn’t get a chance to answer, because we reached the area he was trying to get too.
Opening a small door, he led us into a undisclosed, small room,.
It was the size of a large closet with a small couch.
“What room is this supposed to be?” I asked curiously.
Harry didn’t answer, pulling me to him, but not before he took a seat on the small couch.
His hands gestured for me to climb on him.
I did.
His hands immediately curled around my waist and he smiled.
“So?” he said.
“So?” I questioned back, wrapping my own around his neck..
What were we doing?
What did he have to ask me?
“Tell me about your trip.” he said suddenly.
“What trip?” I asked in confusion.
“Mexico. Playa del Carmen.”
I smiled. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. Did you have fun babe?”
“This is what you wanted to talk about?”
“Among other things.” he said.
A finger began to trail my skin on my back.
“We’re catching up.” he said softly.
I looked around.
“In a broom closet?”
He chuckled.
“Ignore the setting.” he said. “We’re together alone. And this will probably be the last time today.”
He had a point.
“Well it was nice. As you can see.” I said gesturing to my dark tan. “And, the food was amazing.”
He smiled cheekily.
“Did you miss me?”
I instantly blushed and turned away from him.
“I’m not answering that.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“What did you have to ask me?” I asked trying to railroad the question.
“This. I want to know if you missed me.”
His hands traced small letters on my back.
“Maybe.” I said. “Why?”
“Just because.” he said gently and then softly pecked my lips.
“After our last night, you left me wanting more. I haven‘t been able to get your black garter out of my mind.”
“Oh really?” I asked in interest as our noses touched. “You want to see it again?”
He smiled. “Absolutely. Can I see it tonight? You want to come back to my hotel and do dirty things with me?”
I giggled. With that smirk and those dimples, and that accent it was hard to say no.
But…
“Sounds lovely. But probably not going to happen. The girls and such.”
“Yeah.”
He pulled back and rested his head against the couch.
As our eyes remained locked on each other, for a moment, neither one of us said anything. A comfortable silence took over the room.
After a while, I had to know what we were doing. He had minutes until his show, and he didn't really want to talk, but he didn't really want to do anything obscene either. He seemed quite content just sitting there with me, looking at me.
"Babe," I called.
“Hmm?”
I caressed his cheek. "What are we doing?"
He didn't move his eyes off me. "We're just...enjoying each other." he said gently. "I'm just enjoying the moment...here...being with you." he said.
His hands continued to trace my skin, and though we were in this teeny tiny room, his response made me even more comfortable. Leaning towards him, I gave him a gentle kiss. His hands remained on my skin, and his light cologne stayed in my nostrils.
When I pulled away, he gave me a small smile. He instantly made me re-think my suggestion for that night. Going back to his hotel sounded like a wonderful idea, if just to fall asleep in his arms.
"So what are you doing tomorrow?" I asked him suddenly.
“Golfing. With Jeff and Xander. We’re going to a place in Beverly hills. Kind of by Fox Studios.”
I nodded ‘okay’, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
"Is that where you wanted me to meet you?" I asked referencing his earlier question when we had been alone in his dressing room.
He shrugged, seeming to have forgotten that conversation.
"You might be bored." he said honestly. "But yeah...I can set it up for you too if you would like?"
"No thanks. An all-day boys adventure? I'll just wait to see you another time." I teased.
He smiled, nodding okay.
"They'll like that. They've been complaining I see you too much."
"I hardly see you." I argued.
He smiled wider and tapped my hip. "That's what I said!" he exclaimed. "But...i don't know. I don't try to decipher their ramblings."
We shared another smile and he pulled me back to him. Just before we kissed, he whispered against my lips.
"You know, I never said it...but I'm sorry about that last day. In London." he said. "I feel like I kind of cheated you out of a good time that last week."
"In London?” I questioned. “No it was fine." I said pulling back. "Very relaxing. Besides, I liked that last day. Especially the ending." I said with a suggestive wink.
He smiled widely and leaned to kiss me again.
Pecking my lips gently, he said, “Me too.”
His voice was soft and as his eyes searched mine, I felt that wave again; that rising feeling.
I was in way, way too deep.
Time to hit pause.
“So what did I miss?” I asked changing the course of the conversation. “I haven’t really spoken to you either. How was your dates with Xander?”
“Dates?” he asked with furrowed brows.
“Yeah. I think- from the pictures- he’s seen you more than me.” I teased.
His eyes twinkled with confusion.
“Pictures? What pictures?”
"Um...ya know...pictures." I said.
"What pictures?" he asked. "I didn't send you any pictures."
"No I know...public...public pictures."
"Public? What public pictures?"
His furrowed eyes quickly took on a new shape of amusement and I froze.
I didn't immediately answer realizing what I had just let slip. I don't think I had ever told him I looked him up from time to time...or had I?
He seemed to catch on too.
"Have you been stalking me Becca Johnson?"
"No!" I said quickly. "No...no..." and then my words became a fumbled mess. "It's not hard to come across your pictures-" I quickly explained. "You're just there ya know? You pop up on my Google and stuff."
He smiled wider, obviously not believing a word I said.
"I don't think that’s necessarily true." he continued. "I kind of feel like you're looking for me." he teased.
As he smiled at me, my cheeks must have turned a bright pink red. He wasn't going to let me live this one down. I had finally given away my power- finally he had a peek into the way he really made me feel.
I sighed dramatically, referencing my bruised pride.
"Yes, fine! Fine... I stalk you...sometimes." I added with a smile.
"Ah...so you did miss me?"
"A little. Teeny, tiny bit." I said pinching my fingers together. "Nothing to get excited about young man."
He smiled widely again and bit his lip.
"I disagree." he said pulling me back to him. "Come here." he said softly.
He pulled my mouth back to his.
His tongue tasted like mint, and his cologne continued to fill my senses.
"I missed you too love. And I’ll tell you a secret, I stalk your Instagram sometimes."
"Do you really?" I asked in surprise.
"I liked your pink bikini." and then I knew he wasn't lying. That had been something I had shared in Mexico.
I smiled and hit his chest.
"You're a Creep."
“A Scoundrel." He joked dryly.
We both smiled at each other again, before reconnecting our mouths.
After more tongue tangling, he flipped us, and it didn't take long before we were rotated and he was above me on the couch.
After ‘necking’ for a good five minutes, we finally pulled apart so he could head to the stage for the show.
“Well I’ll let you get to work.” I said reluctantly pulling away from him.
Watching me, he reached out a hand towards me.
“Hey, come with me?” he asked.
I complied, enclosing his hand with mine and loaded the golf cart with him.
This time as we rode, it was a bit quieter.
I could tell Harry was trying to mentally prepare, and I wanted to limit his distractions.
As we finally reached the rest of the crew, I watched in interest as Harry was ‘mic’d up and as he secured his in-ears.
Lou quickly touched up his makeup while I avoided the cold glances of his management. I had never gone this far before. I was literally hidden to thousands by a small curtain. I knew they didn't like me still by Harry. This was the time for the band; vocal warm ups, and group chants. Not girlfriends, flings and one night stands.
“I’m going to head back to my seat.” I announced as he got ready. They were minutes from starting, and at this point I would miss the opening for ‘Clouds’. Plus the stares from his management were giving me an uncomfortable feeling. I got the sense that the friendliness they had showed me in Bangkok and London was quickly fading away.
I had been around too long and getting too close, I guessed.
"Kay." Harry said. Breaking from Lou, he used one arm and pulled me in a hug.
As he kissed my cheek, I whispered "Break a leg."
He smiled at me, as he was handed his usual microphone.
"Let the prancing begin." he joked.
Chuckling at our long running joke, he pulled me to him cupping my cheek and we shared a soft kiss. This time in front of everyone.
Another first.
As we pulled apart, I caught Lou's look first then Lottie's. Eyes wide they were clearly taken aback by Harry's brashness.
Everyone knew we were sleeping together. Everyone knew we were clearly spending a lot time together and everyone knew we were clearly getting closer.
But I don't think everyone expected to see it; especially backstage, seconds before a show.
Harry was just too private.
Turning at the realization, I caught Liam and Louis' looks next. It was the exact same.
What the hell is up with these two?
It seemed today for whatever reason, there had been a lot of interest on us.
As we pulled apart, Harry didn't even notice the curious glances, seeing only me, and I tried not to notice them as well. Yet, it was hard.
Something told me a line was being crossed. But was it by me, or Harry?
He spoke up then.
Keeping his eyes solely locked on me, he said "See you after."
"I hope so."
He shook his head in agreement.
Looping his finger in my belt loop, he pulled me to him once more for a final kiss,
Then, flash!
We both turned at the bright light of Lou's camera. As we both turned to her- Harry in confusion, Me in amusement- he spoke first.
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
"I'm capturing the moment." she argued as he playfully reached for the camera.
“Give me that-“Harry began.
We were interrupted by the loud beginning music of 'No Control'.
He looked up towards the loud speakers, and the sudden piercing screams.
He immediately smiled clearly loving every moment.
"That's my cue." he said and I smiled with him.
"Well have fun love” he said quickly dismissing me for his only love.
The music, the screams and the fans had his new attention.
Checking the mic in his hands, he gave me a passing glance. “Enjoy your nosebleed seats." He said.
"Fuck you." I said playfully and he looked back up.
Giving me a final smile, he pulled me back to him. Resting me against his chest again, we shared a private laugh and another quick kiss, once more forgetting we weren’t alone. As our eyes locked, smiling at each other, his management quickly intervened.
"Harry? Come on man. What the hell are you doing?" they said impatiently, gesturing for us to break apart.
I quickly pulled far away from him, and Lou resumed her previous task, pushing a quick sponge to his face.
"Sorry guys!" She said glancing quickly between us. "Couldn't resist. It was perfect." she said as in reference to her intrusive photo from before.
I wanted to respond 'what was perfect?' but we were out of time. Before I knew what was going on, I was being forcibly shuffled out, and the boys were being yelled at, and there were screams and fireworks and Harry's lovely voice boasting through the stadium.
Know you said, that you don’t like it complicated, that we should try to keep it simple…but love is never ever simple, no….
Too much happened around me, as I ran back to my seat with security.
By now, most of the fans were in their seat, so it wasn’t that difficult to get to my area.
By the time Little Black Dress was ending, the third song, I was plopping right beside Kelsey.
“There you are!” she exclaimed. “I was wondering if you were even going to watch the show.”
“Sorry. Got caught up with Harry.”
She smiled. “That’s okay. I’ll learn to share you.”
Cutting her a look, all conversations of Harry and ‘getting caught up’ were ceased.
We enjoyed the show, and though I couldn’t see my sister from our upper stadium seats, I knew she and Christina were having a grand ole’ time.
From Harry’s VIP section, you could see everything.
He was in full star mode too and once again, the man I had fallen in love with quickly mixed with the enigma before me.
It was hard to see the resemblance between the two especially as Harry ran up and down the stadium one minute, and tossed water on people the next.
After the show as me and the girls we headed to our cars with our VIP bags, a text came through from Harry.
*Send me the address, and give me an hour and a half. We’ll be there.*
My response was the same as it was before, *See you soon*
The minute the car door slammed, Christina began.
“Becca Johnson!” she screeched. “We need to have a talk.”
The secret was totally out.
**************************************
A couple hours later, an Anastasia contour palette stared back at me.
It was a rubic cube to a baby.
"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" I asked Kelsey, as she stood beside me re-touching her makeup in our small hotel bathroom.
The room was set, our hotel bar was stocked, and the clock was ticking- the boys would be here any minute.
"Touch up. Highlight. Get your game face back on." She said as she reapplied a perfect wing over her eyelid.
Her previous dewy face now gone.
It was hard to believe two hours earlier, we had both been jumping and down, sweating singing the 1D tunes to the top of our lungs.
I leaned against the counter.
"Game face for what? Harry's already seen me."
She shook her head in disbelief, not understanding me.
Looking at the makeup spread on the counter; I didn’t understand her.
We had been back to the hotel for about a half hour (after fighting the stupid traffic), and had been getting ready for Harry- and friends- arrival.
The time was well after midnight, and Kelsey and the other girls had already started hitting the bottle and re-doing the makeup.
I guess they were ready to party.
Me, I just wanted a shower from the sweating I had did at the concert.
Yet, it was not to be.
Beside me, my phone chimed.
Glancing down, the words Harry illuminated on my screen.
Tapping the screen, I opened his message.
*Here. Which room?*
I quickly became frazzled.
I shuffled the contour palette out of the way, tossing it in a toilette bag and tousled my hair.
Kelsey looked at me in curiosity.
"Too late." I said. "They're here."
I pulled my hair out of its half ponytail and began to run my hands through it. My curls had fallen, but the wave of my hair now appeared to be natural and it sat nicely against my chest.
"Where?" Kelsey asked beside me, giving a final spritz of perfume.
"Downstairs."
And then remembering, I quickly texted Harry back with our room number.
Kelsey headed out of the main room, alerting the other girls.
I shifted my t-shirt that I had changed into, and gave myself a final once over.
The old wrinkled white t-shirt, shorts, and barely there makeup was the best it was going to get.
Vixen ‘Garter Belt’ Becca was nowhere to be found this evening.
As I left the bedroom, I inwardly reminded myself that Harry had seen me in far worst conditions.
He had seen the bed hair, the sleep in eyes, and smelled the morning breath.
As the girls took their shots, I stood off in the corner, counting down nervously...
About three minutes later, voices-and a laugh- appeared behind the door, and a quick knock.
They were here.
Kelsey, Ms. Bold and Beautiful opened the door and Jeff shuffled in first, followed by Xander.
I heard Harry's laugh again before I saw him, followed by one more mutual friend, I hadn’t seen at the show.
"Hey guys." Kelsey said as they mumbled quick hi's. "Come in. Get comfortable."
The boys followed the instructions, sitting- but eyeing the alcohol, and I kept my attention on Harry.
Noticing me as well, unlike before, he came straight to me first.
“Hey you.“ he said as he gave me a welcoming hug.
“Hey.“ I said back. I rubbed his back, wondering if he was injured from his on-stage fall hours earlier. His mic had appeared to be caught in a flap, and he went down at the same time the mic did. I was pretty sure that was a huge highlight of the show.
Catching my gesture, he smiled.
Ignoring my concern, he wrapped an arm around me, and turned to everyone.
"So, where are the drinks?"
By 2am, I was buzzed.
Doing tequila shots with Harry's friends quickly eased my tensions away.
My morning thoughts of seeing Harry, Christina knowing and my intimate feelings had dwindled away.
Still beside me, was Harry, who was a bit buzzed himself.
I learned quickly Harry was a touchy- feely drunk and as his hand rested on my thigh, we stayed lost in our own world flirting and sharing private jokes.
By now the secret was out, (and acknowledged) and the others in the room barely paid us any mind.
"So...Still there?" he whispered in my ear, when the crew was distracted. Pulling away, our eyes locked and his eyes hinted below me.
Following his gaze, I saw where he was suggesting; the pink bruises hidden under my t-shirt.
I shifted, once more remembering our incredible night in London.
Man, oh man, when would it happen again?
"Yup. Definitely still there." I said with a knowing smile.
He smiled back lazily.
"Sorry...again… Did your parents freak?"
"Yup. Especially my dad. I don’t think you’re going to ever be allowed in my house." I said seriously.
He laughed, squeezing my leg. "Tell them they don't have to worry."
I smiled back, but had a follow up question.
Why didn't they have to worry?
Was he never coming to my house?
Before I had a chance to think, he was in my ear, whispering seductively.
"Ya know...I wish I could give you another one right now."
"Oh yeah?" I asked in interest. "Where would you place it?"
"Well...let's go in the bathroom and find out." he whispered shamelessly.
I immediately laughed and I caught his smile as he briefly pulled away from me. He leaned in as if to give me a kiss on my cheek when we were interrupted.
"Hey H!"
We both turned.
"Lets' do another one."
The voice was Harry's new bff Xander, and he quickly placed a red cup-tequila with ice- in his hand.
"Here man, stay focused."
Harry's Casanova routine quickly faded into the background as he took the cup to his lips.
They downed two quick shots and gave an acknowledged head nod. Whatever eye language they had learned in the last couple days, strictly between them.
With his head 'back in the game', he collapsed back beside me a minute later.
"Slow down partner." I said as Harry sat back down. "You're on your way to a fast headache in the morning."
Harry shrugged me off.
"This is my last time drinking for a while. I'll be fine." he said.
"Why is it your last time drinking?" I asked.
"Just trying to be more conscious. I don’t like to drink when we’re touring." he said. "Fucks with my voice.”
"So why are you drinking tonight?" I teased.
"Liquid courage." he said. I figured Harry was using his usual dry humor, and didn't give his answer a second thought.
I should have.
Leaning a bit away from me, he crossed his legs and settled back. He pulled out his phone and casually rejoined the conversation going on across from us.
That's where he remained for the next forty-five minutes until they decided to shuffle out.
By then, he was quieter and I think the liquor had begun taking its toll.
"Walk me out?" Harry suggested.
I nodded yes, standing, and Harry said his goodbye's to my friends.He gave quick hugs and took one more selfie for Christina before gesturing to leave.
As he led me out, his buddies went first.
"I'll meet you guys downstairs." he said as we landed in the hallway.
They nodded yes, though they were already making their way towards the elevator.
Something told me, this had all been pre-arranged, and when Harry sobered up about a second later, I quickly understood what was going on.
This was our time.
The door shut behind us.
As he towered over me, I leaned against the door. Placing one hand above me he leaned down over me.
My hands settled on the rim of his tiny skinny jeans.
"Hi beautiful." he remarked flirtatiously.
I instantly smiled. Seemed Casanova Styles was back.
"Hiiii…You are so drunk." I remarked, taking in my flirty man.
"I'm not. I‘m fine." he whined. "You are beautiful. Gorgeous even."
Even though, some of that was definitely the alcohol talking, I blushed.
I pulled him closer to me. My lovable dork.
"So when can I see you again?"
He looked back at me, smiling slowly.
He ran a hand down the curve of my t-shirt that rested right between my breasts. The same breasts, his mouth had claimed as his days earlier.
"You mean you're not sick of me yet?" he asked.
"Are you kidding?" I asked, gripping his shirt and pulling him to me. "Of these eyes?"
He smiled wider and pulled me completely in his arms, he leaned and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
“Did you have fun today?”
“Tons.” I said honestly.
“Good. I’m glad I got to see you.”
“Me too.” I said bringing his lips back to mine.
As his lips encased mine gentle, I kept my hands wrapped around his waist. His light kiss was like feathers on my lips.
When we pulled away, he whispered gently in my ears.
“You sure you don’t want to come back with me tonight?”
I smiled.
“Your friends would kill me. I have a feeling they want you all to themselves.”
He smirked, the handsome face curled into a beautiful dimple.
“Well I don’t belong to them do I?”
I smiled back at him.
I trailed my hand down his shirt.
“I have a feeling you’ve never belonged to anybody.”
As I explored his abdomen, he grew quiet.
This time he didn’t respond as he pulled away from me briefly. Giving me a final kiss on my forehead, the mood shifted.
"I should go." he said quietly. "The guys are actually waiting on me."
I looked back up at him.
"Of course." I said.
He ran a slow hand through my hair as he pulled away.
"We'll figure something out with our schedules.” He said gently. “Maybe we can do something tomorrow? Later in the day."
I smiled. "Yeah, that sounds great." I said honestly.
"Good." he said with his own smile.
"I'll call you." he threw out as a final thought.
He gave a final kiss, and pulled away.
I watched him as he walked down the hall away from me; never turning back.
Seconds later, he was gone.
Giving a small sigh, I kicked back into the gear.
Unlocking the hotel door, I went back in the room.
The girls were still kicked back and finishing up their drinks.
Taking a seat back beside them, Harry was on my mind.
The girls started talking about the boys and I barely listed as I felt my phone suddenly buzz in my pocket.
Grabbing the phone, I looked at the screen.
It was a message from Harry. I instantly scanned the room wondering what he could have possibly forgotten. Until I saw the message.
*You’re wrong by the way*
I swiped my hands across the message keys, typing him back quickly.
*Wrong about what?* I asked.
*What you just said upstairs.* and then he added, * Who I belong too.*
I instantly smiled, typing back quickly. I heard Kelsey talking to me, but I tuned her out for now.
*How am I wrong?* I questioned.
His response was swift, as if pre-written.
*Well you said I don’t belong to anybody.*
And before I could text back, he finished again,
*That’s wrong.*
Biting my lip in thought, I texted back just as fast.
*Well who do you belong to then?*
Four seconds later,
*You*
The smile on my face suddenly matched the emoji I sent back to him; a wide ridiculously cheesy smile and then a kissy face.
As I curled the phone in my hand, smiling to myself, I was finally noticed in the room.
As Kelsey asked me a question, I barely heard her.
You.
You.
You.
Harry, my only focus.
“You alright over there?” Christina asked a second later.
“I’m perfect.” I said with a smile.
Harry had said he belonged to me, and I didn’t hear anything else around me.
As far as I was concerned I was in my own little Harry bubble- a bubble that no person, event or even time could pierce.
The same bubble I had found myself wrapped up in that last night in London.
And the tunnel before meeting his dad.
And the park in London sitting on his car.
The bubble which told me I was doomed, and fallen way, way too deep.
Yet this time, I felt something new….
Maybe Harry was starting to feel the same way.
Maybe this could actually happen and be more one day.
Maybe he was starting to fall too.
“BECCA?” Christina called one final time, finally lost of all patience.
“Sorry, sorry.” I said placing my phone down quickly. The Harry bubble temporarily burst until his next text message.
“What did you guys ask me?”
They just shook their heads and I smiled.
However, like the Disney fairytales I often watched on TV, this Harry and Becca story had a time limit too.
At this very moment, the clock was finally striking twelve, and my time with Harry was finally up.
Sayonara summer- thanks for the memories.
Cue the first great breakup.
The next day would finally put the cap on everything and as I would unfortunately learn- he didn’t belong to me after all.
Far from it actually.
You see Harry belonged to the world; and his, I would finally see; I just didn’t quite fit into.

Notes