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All Again

Chapter Sixty Six

CHAPTER SIXTY SIX
BECCA
Then.

Katy Perry's Prism album blasted from the speakers of Kelsey's compact Hyundai Elantra.
As Katy sang about Legendary Lovers, the car shifted suddenly to the right, just barely missing a Chevy Suburban.
The next thing I heard was Kelsey's horn and a spew of obscenities.
"Fucking asshole! Put your damn signal on!"
Immediately giggles erupted behind me.
Ignoring the two girl audience in the back, I turned to Kelsey and saw my best friend was fuming.
I smiled at the slight steam I saw rolling off of her- a Looney Tunes cartoon coming to life.
"You alright over there?" I asked as she honked the horn again.
"Ugh." she said tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "These freaking San Diego people can not drive!"
"Or, is it you that's the problem?" I teased and grinned. "You never could drive Kels." I reminded her.
My best friend of nineteen years turned to me.
"Definitely them! And don't start with me. You're lucky I'm even doing this." she scolded, focusing back on the road. "I could be getting a mani and a pedi right now, or laid out on a beach somewhere."
I shook my head 'no' in disagreement.
"Oh please. You wouldn't miss this for the world and we both know it."
She grinned before honking her horn again.
"Asshole." she shouted again throwing her hand up at the same driver as we passed him.
I just stayed silent hoping we didn't get in an accident or get shot in road rage.
We were driving on the Interstate 5 to San Diego on July 9th. Harry's concert was today and it was just past 10am. We had been on the road for an hour.
We were anticipated to get to San Diego by noon, and then from there check into our hotel for the night, pick up some items and then head to the show.
I hadn't spoken to Harry much since I had left London a couple days earlier, but this morning he had assured me he would be at the stadium by three and to meet him sometime then.
Despite our little communication, things were good.
Almost too good.
In the last week, Harry was completely tuned in; checking in with me when he could, and asking how my Mexico trip was.
Every morning I awoke to a warm cheery 'Good Morning' and went to sleep with a lovely 'Good Night.'
He asked for pictures and sent fun flirty texts suggesting how much he missed me.
Yet this time, I was the one a bit withdrawn.
I took my time returning text messages and I didn't really want to talk to him.
To be honest I was to nervous too.
I hated to admit it, but I was still a little freaked out by our last night together.
A realization had hit me that night, and I wasn't ready to deal with it.
I wasn't ready to face the feeling that had risen in me.
I was in love with him.
Foolishly.
"Hey Kelsey, when are you stopping for food?"
Interrupting my thoughts was Christina, my sister's best friend who suddenly popped her head up front.
"I'm hungry!" she exclaimed.
I briefly turned to her, taking in her flawless skin and shiny black hair. She was Asian, and I had been envious of her for years.
Her ethnic features were beautiful and to be seventeen she was a very put together girl. She and my sister had been friends since second grade and I considered her a kid sister too.
"Yeah me too." My sister chimed in the back. She had been quiet the majority of the ride; snapchatting and texting her friends while only popping her head up in disinterest every now and then.
This trip-for them- had been planned months in advance, yet they were surprisingly calm. I think Kelsey was the one most excited for the show as evidenced by her crazy driving.
She had never seen the boys live, and since my relationship with Harry had began, she had been a bit curious. I think she might have even owned an album or two now.
Turning from them both I focused on the road before us. Kelsey was still driving erratically, and the traffic was congested. It seemed everyone in Los Angeles was headed to San Diego today.
And maybe they were. It had been on KISS radio all morning that the boys had a show and I had seen some early tweets from the hashtag #OtraSanDiego start this morning.
"What do you guys want? I think I see an In-N-Out up ahead." Kelsey said as she continued driving.
"We're going to eat at the stadium." I cut in quietly reminding them. "And there's snacks at the hotel."
We had reservations at a nearby Sheraton Hotel that wasn't too far from the stadium.
Christina immediately protested beside me, hitting me with her brown eyes. "Becca I keep trying to tell you, you're not going to get in." she said. "I don't care who you know, you don't have tickets." She insisted, tapping my shoulder.
I just smiled.
Christina was the only one in the dark in the car. She and my sister had actual tickets to the show, but me and Kelsey were being snuck in and planning on sitting in Harry's section- though we hadn't told Christina that. She had no idea who I was sleeping with nor did she need to know.
For now, the only thing we had told her was that I had a slight 'connection' to someone on the tour and we were invited to hang out backstage. We had even threw my mom in there saying I had met 'this person' at the coffee shop.
Yet Christina wasn't buying it. From the time we had told her, until now, she had suspicions.
"One does not just know someone close to One Direction." she kept saying and quickly reiterated to me now. "Your connection is probably lying to you."
I smiled again and shook my head in disagreement in the car.
Kelsey echoed me verbally.
"Oh hush. Trust me, we'll get in." Kelsey said turning to me and winking. "Becca made sure of that all last month."
I instantly laughed and hit her arm.
"You're going to stop hinting that I've been a slut." I hissed. "Sex is not the only thing we do ya know?"
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with having sex with your boyfriend. Especially when your boyfriend is as hot as he is. I mean, I'd be hopping on that everyday if I were you. Especially as good as you say the sex is." She said with a suggestive wink.
"Kelsey, I don't have a boyfriend." I said evenly, reminding her. "Barely a fling."
"Yeah? Well tell that to the trail of hickeys on your chest."
I immediately blushed and turned away.
I tried not to think about those small little reminders hidden under my t-shirt.
My love bites were faint, yet still there from my last night in London. Kelsey had caught sight of them this morning when I got out of the shower and had been on me ever since.
"Wait, your boyfriend works with One Direction too?" Christina asked catching on to the conversation.
I instantly looked at Kelsey.
Look what you've done. Now what lie are you going to tell?
"Well not exactly-" Kelsey began, forced to conjure a quick lie.
"Forget all that." Taylor cut in from the back again. "Are we stopping or no? We're starved! Remember?"
Christina, snapping back, suddenly remembered her original question.
"Oh yeah! Let's get some food."
Kelsey quickly rerouted her answer and began calling out food options.
Meanwhile, I caught my sisters eyes in the side mirror and she gave me a quick wink.
I've got your back.
Another detour successful.

When we checked into our hotel two hours later, the girls instantly threw down their bags, and got ready for our small errands. Since we were far from parentals, and on our own for the night, me and Kelsey had agreed to get some 'adult beverages' to have a fun, ladies night.
My mom had already agreed that Taylor could have a 'wine cooler, or two' and Christina had been drinking for a couple years at parties.
"So should we get dressed for the show now or later?" Kelsey asked.
It was close to 1pm, so we had some time and I wasn't sure if Harry was at the stadium yet.
I knew he had sound checks and such, but he had told me to come after three.
Plus I knew he had been spending his last few days in Los Angeles with friends and was waiting until the last minute to make the trip.
Though I hadn't really been talking I still missed him and caught wind of a few pap pics in L.A.
The last few days he had seemed happy, refreshed, and enjoying his time off.
"Later." I finally answered. "Let's run to the liquor store now."
The girls agreed and we piled in the car.
When we arrived and the youngin's went to make their pick between wine coolers, Kelsey pulled me to the side.
"So have you heard from Harry?" she asked with a small whisper.
I shook my head no, browsing options. "Not since this morning."
"Have you told him what we're doing tonight yet?"
"No. Why?" I asked picking up a bottle of Silver Rum.
"Well...I just think you should have told him. What if he was planning on spending the night with you?"
I immediately pushed that thought away.
"He's not. His friends are with him. I only had plans to meet him at the show." I reminded her.
She rolled her eyes and fixed me with an infamous Kelsey smile. "Becca, you really don't have a clue how to be in a relationship do you?"
"What's that mean?" I asked slowly, wondering if I should be offended or not.
"Becca of course he's going to want to see you. You guys just spent a month together...I'm sure he was planning on being with you tonight after the show. Yaknow...make up for lost time." She said nudging me seductively.
I rolled my eyes again playfully (as I often did when I hung out with her) once more just shrugging her off and grabbing my drink.
"Well he won't be then huh?" I said softly.
Kelsey moved beside me giving me a pointed look.
She grabbed some chips on the wall to the next aisle, then she stared at me.
I knew the stare and I knew her mind was going.
A minute later, she picked back up.
"So what happened in London?"
"What?"
"What happened in London?" she asked narrowing her eyes. "What are you not telling me?"
I instantly turned to her in confusion.
"What do you mean? I've already told you about the trip." I said softly.
"Yeah you told me some of it, but the last thing I heard was that he was ignoring you, and then poof, you're back in Cali...with hella hickeys."
"We moved past that." I said gently, not sure what she was asking. Or why.
"Well yeah...did you guys get in a fight or something that last night?"
"No it was fine. We're good." I said throwing on a quick smile, figuring that's what she needed.
As I did, thoughts flashed.
Memories of our London dinner and the awkwardness danced across my mind.
The avoiding. The mini argument. His weirdness.
Then after, back at the house making up all night long.
The way he worked me...slow, tender, passionate.
The way his eyes never left mine as he fucked---no, made love to me.
For those few short hours, I had felt like the only woman in the world. His world.
I instantly cleared my throat, feeling that rising feeling again.
I needed to seriously forget that night.
"Do you want some wine?" I asked her trying to change the subject quickly.
"Don't start." Kelsey warned, reading right through me. "I know all your tactics..."
I smiled realizing it was true. This was a nineteen year friendship after all.
She kept her light blue eyes on me, studying.
"You're sure there isn't something you're not telling me? Nothing at all?" she asked in concern.
I sighed.
"Why do you keep asking me that?" I asked.
"Because you keep dodging questions about him. I mean even when you first got back. And you don't seem too excited to see him."
"Well it's like you said...we spent a month together." I reasoned.
"Yeah but still...you're not sick of him or something right? You still like him?"
"Of course I do." I said with an impatient sigh.
The problem was, I liked him too much.
"And he still likes you?" she questioned curiously.
I gave a slight chuckle. As if I knew the inner ramblings of Harry Styles' mind...
"Guess we'll see huh?"
I moved away from Kelsey and the conversation, heading back over to my sister and Christina.
My actions purposely ending the conversation.
"You guys find something?" I asked as I approached.
They held up their Strawberry Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade coolers.
"Great, let's go." I said, moving away from the curious eyes of Kelsey and the wide smiles of the minors.
When we piled back in the car, Kelsey made a quick drugstore stop, grabbing some party items- for what I wasn't sure- and bringing us back to the hotel.
After we settled back in the room, I heard from Harry.
*Hey love. Did you make it to town safely?"
My heart instantly jumped seeing his name across my screen and the inner, completely fallen, butterflies-in-stomach Becca smiled.
The one trying to move on and ignore the stirrings, sent a clear and concise, *Safe and sound. At the hotel. Are you at the stadium?* I texted back.
*I am. Text when you're on your way. I have to get someone to let you in.*
*K* she continued, purposely withholding any emotion.
He sent me a smiley face emoji, something he rarely did, but I was done responding once again.
Gone were the days of me attempting small talk.
For now, I didn't know what to say.
Placing my phone down, I turned to the girls. Kelsey and Taylor were applying makeup, and Christina was eating again. This time some chips she picked up at the store.
I sat beside her.
"You really should have waited until we got to the stadium. I've been told the backstage catering is delicious."
She grinned, pulling her hair up in a ponytail.
"We're not going backstage." she reminded me again. "You are really in delusion about this whole thing huh? You don't get how tight their security must be."
"You don't get that I know someone backstage." I reminded her. "Do you really think I would have drove all this way if it wasn't a guaranteed thing?" I questioned.
She just shrugged, eating her salt and vinegar chips.
"It doesn't matter to me anyway. As long as I get to see Louis on that stage, I'm all good."
"He's your favorite?" I asked.
She nodded yes obnoxiously. "He's bae." she said and I laughed.
Louis was attractive but in the past month I had come to know him in a different way.
Whenever our paths crossed, he was always playful, and was seen as more of an annoying little brother now. As he was brought up, my mind reflected on the recent news Harry had told me about him; but for now, I was sworn to secrecy.
I wanted to say Christina, leave him alone for now. His plate is about to be pretty full.
"No Liam," Taylor said cutting in from the opposite end of the room. She came out of the bathroom she and Kelsey were sharing.
"He is so sexy!" she said.
We locked eyes and I grinned in amusement. It was interesting for me to hear the boys- who were annoying, nosy little shits when I was around- talked about like this.
In the past month, I had forgotten just how ridiculously famous and popular they were with girls in my age range. They seemed like such normal, rowdy boys that you would find in the back of a classroom.
Taylor plopped beside me.
"Do you think Harr- the friend, would be able to get me an autograph?"
"Sure." I said, catching her slip, but relieved that Christina didn't.
Christina was to busy asking Kelsey who she wanted to see and jumping up to do her own makeup.
Kelsey immediately turned to me with a wide smile.
"Well," she said with a dramatic sigh. "I use to be a big Harry girl, but I've been forced lately to switch teams."
I hid my smile, turning from them all and lifting to go to my bag. I figured I should do the same, and get ready.
"Why?" Christina asked.
I ignored her response since I was the hidden reason, digging in my small bag, and grabbing my clothes.
Before we had left Los Angeles, Kelsey had roamed through my closet, looking for the 'sexiest chic' outfit she could fine.
Apparently my outfit of ripped jeans and a casual tee was much too plain to be going to Harry's concert.
'You've got to represent! All these thirsty girls are waiting to pounce and you don't want him to have the reminders'
I disagreed, but let her change my outfit.
She clearly didn't understand our relationship.
In a month's time, he would be free and on the market again either way, so what did it matter?
Hell, maybe even after this concert.
After tonight, it was probably best I limited our time together anyway. At least, for my own heart.
I stood, holding my new picked out outfit, while they continued their repressed sexual fantasies of the guys.
"So girls..." I said interrupting. "I've got the text." I announced suddenly. "We can head that way when you're ready."
"Yes!" Taylor said throwing a hand in the air.
"Henry texted you?" Kelsey asked, using our old name for him.
"Yup. He's there."
"Are the boys there yet?" Christina asked looking up.
"Probably." I said with a warm smile.
"Then what are we waiting for." Kelsey said heading back in the bedroom to curl her hair.
An hour later we were all dressed.
All the hair was curled and the lips glossed.
Floral and sweet scents filled the room and our clique looked pretty good.
Yet, while they celebrated, my stomach did flip-flops.
Heading back downstairs, my thoughts were abundant.
London, London, LONDON, was on my mind.
The impending reunion mixing in.
Ten days was a long time, but I wasn't sure if I was ready yet.
How would I react when I saw Harry?
Would it be like before, or would I be like the nervous shy idiot I was when I left?
Once more, the loop of that time, played before me.
My last morning in London after Harry made love to me, I awoke to find him in the kitchen making me breakfast.
He was in a refreshed mood with an extra ping in his step.
'Hey love', he said giving me the longest kiss. My thoughts were foggy, still recovering from all the things he had done to me the night before.
My body was still tingling.
He made small talk and kept his eyes all over me, but I couldn't focus.
My words were mumbles and I felt like a giddy school girl.
The butterfly's were all there and suddenly his bright green eyes were intimidating.
On the way to the airport, he was touchy feely alternating between holding my hand and rubbing my thigh and when I made it to my drop off area, he gave me another long kiss behind the dark tint of his car, and thanked me once more for coming.
"As always you were a perfect distraction." he had assured.
I just smiled because its all I had been doing.
He was finally saying all the right things. His previous nine day absence forgotten.
"I'll miss you." he said and kissed my hand. "Call me when you land."
I nodded okay and tried to summon the old Becca he was use too.
"And will you answer this time?" I teased, remembering the first time I left town and didn't hear from him.
He smiled.
"I will never do that to you again. You'll hear from me. I promise."
And I had.
Yet now I wished I could back out of this whole thing...go back in time.
This time, I wish he wouldn't have called me back...
"Should we listen to some 1D on the drive?" Kelsey asked as we reloaded the car.
The chorus in the back said yes.
Minutes later, the Midnight Memories album pumped through the speakers and as Don't Forget Where You Belong brought us to the entrance of the stadium, it seemed fitting.
The stage was Harry's home, and soon he would be reunited and I would be luckily there.
"Where are we suppose to go?" Kelsey asked, as she drove around. "These parking areas are closed."
Gathering my phone, I called 'Henry'.
"Hello?" his unmistakable accent traveled through the phone.
"Hey it's me. We're here."
"Oh! Cool." he said. "I was wondering when you were coming."
Turning down the music in the car, I focused on him.
"What entrance are you by?"
"I don't know." I said honestly. There wasn't much to see where we had entered, and everything still seemed locked down.
"Well go by Gate M. They are letting fans in around there for the VIP. There's some Live Nation booths set up."
"Find Gate M," I whispered to Kelsey and she backed out of where we were, ready to begin.
"I'll send Jeff your way." Harry assured. "If you run into issues, call me."
"Kay." I said and followed his instructions before disconnecting.
Behind me, my sister and Christina were finally getting excited.
They squealed as Kelsey and her dangerous driving tried to find the proper area and as she almost got us kicked out, after arguing with a parking attendant when we found it.
The only tickets we still had were the ones for Christina and Taylor, and there was no admittance yet for them.
"Come back when doors open." the security kept arguing, trying to reroute us and Kelsey kept aruging back.
Finally, Kelsey and her long hair turned to me.
"Call your guy!" Kelsey scolded. Yet I didn't need too.
In the gated distance of 'M' land, I saw Mr. Jeffery Azoff holding open a door with a security guard.
"There he is. That's who we need."' I pointed, telling the guard that was blocking us, he was here for us.
He trudged over to meet him, taking his good and sweet time, unlocked the gate, and went over to where Jeff was.
With a head nod, and a smile in my direction from Jeff, I knew we were in.
"See." I told Christina proudly.
Three minutes later we were at the main door beyond the gate.
"Hey Becca." Jeff said immediately.
"Hey Jeff." I said warmly. "Good to see you."
He gave a brief acknowledgement to my friends.
They did quick introductions as Jeff handled us our laminated passes.
They were dark black tags swirled with big bold 'VIP: On the Road Again', and I took in the details of the Qualcomm Stadium.
I had never been in the stadium before and wanted to get the full 'fan' experience.
As I studied, my sister and Christina looked with me, while Kelsey tried to make small talk with Jeff. She was an extrovert, and could get on with anybody and it was in her nature to talk to people.
As she did, Christina sided up to me.
"This is your boyfriend?" she whispered, taking in the details of Jeff Azoff.
I almost died from laughter. Jeff wasn't ugly, but he was not my type- nor my age.
"No. Just a friend of a friend."
"Is your boyfriend here?" she asked next.
"I don't have a boyfriend." I reassured. "Just a close male friend." I said.
"Well...either way...This is so cool! Thank you for getting us in."
I smiled.
"You're welcome."
In the distance, after some walking, I began to hear music and screams, yet, it seemed impossible that people were here already.
"What's that?" I asked Jeff.
"The VIP Party for the fans. They've been here about an hour."
"Oh. That's cool." I said. "They didn't do that in London." I said, and Christina turned to me in confusion.
Since when do you know about One Direction?
Catching my slip, I quickly revised.
"At least...that's what I heard." I fumbled.
Kelsey laughed under her breath and muttered, "Nice save..." while I tried to hide the blush in my cheeks.
We sidetracked from that area, and headed to the private area where the boys were housed.
"Isn't that where we were going?" Christina asked in more confusion, gesturing back to the party. "The VIP?"
"Nope." Kelsey said.
"But then where?"
"Wait and see." Taylor told her.
As we made it through security checks, it was evident that we were getting close.
Flashing our VIP passes multiple times now, we finally made it to the backstage area, with the signs leading back to the dressing rooms.
"Oh my God." Christina said, meeting her first realization.
My sister was still studying everything, and Kelsey was still running her mouth.
It sounded like she was inquiring about a future job.
I was just trying to ignore the bubbling in my belly.
I was nervous and it felt like this was the first time I would be seeing Harry.
I didn't understand why but my nerves were in overdrive.
I couldn't even remember being this nervous when I saw him in Bangkok. As I tried to calm down, Jeff wrapped up his conversation with Kelsey.
"So Becca, did H tell you about tomorrow yet?" Jeff asked me suddenly, walking right beside me.
"Huh?"
He smiled and asked again.
"No, what's going on?" I asked back.
Jeff didn't answer the specific question. "He'll probably talk to you about it later. I didn't know you were a golf girl though. Do you have a GHIN?"
My face must have instantly scrunched in confusion. What the heck was he talking about?
Before I could inquire more, the cheery voice of Lottie Tomlinson pulled my response.
"Becca!" she called from the close distance. "Hey Girl."
As our eyes locked, I tried to gesture with my eyes to pretend like she didn't know me, but it was already out.
"How are you?" I asked giving her a nervous hug as she approached.
"I'm great! Harry didn't tell me you were coming."
I bit my lip. Christina was within earshot to hear the comment.
"Spur of the moment thing." I said casually trying not to look at Christina. I was sure my eyes would give it all away.
It was evident the crafted lie was not going to last long. I was sure before the day ended, Christina would know everything. I had never been a good liar.
Still, I was relieved when Lottie didn't linger.
"Good to see you. Stop by later." she said, her usual warm bubbly self. She gave a quick hi to my friends then kept it moving.
"How does she know you?" Christina asked on cue.
"Uh...I uh-"
Kelsey cut in and wrapped an arm around Christina, pulling her away from me.
"Chris, from here on out, its best to just not ask questions. You're probably not going to get a lot of answers."
"At least not without signing an NDA." my sister muttered beside me with a grin.
Christina gave her a look of bewilderment while Jeff smiled at me.
I guess he was amused by the whole situation.
We kept walking a few more feet until we made it to Sir Harry Styles room.
I let the girls gather in front of me, blending in the background and let Jeff open the door. I needed the few extra seconds for composure.
In 3...2....1...
Immediate laughter came from behind the door.
Entering the familiar dark dressing room, I heard Harry before I saw him. I also heard Christina.
"Oh my God." she said instantly.
"Hello!" came a warm call. I knew that immediate silly voice. "How are you?"
Seconds later, I saw Harry, but he wasn't focused on me yet.
I watched him as he stood up.
"Whooo wants to go first?" he joked; dimples wide and prominent as he gathered on his feet.
As he caught the eyes of my friends first, I quickly took in his white t-shirt, hair bun, and black jeans before I heard Christina once more.
"Oh my fucking-" she began again.
My eyes moved from Harry to a different guy in the room, who seemed to be Harry's twin in his own white t-shirt and skinny black jeans and another lady in the room. She was older and I had never seen her before. She appeared to be a family friend.
As the lady said "Hi" to me with a polite smile, my eyes took in all the other events at once.
Jeff was taking a seat, Christina was saying 'Holy shit' now, my sister was trying to conceal her laughter, Harry's twin was staring at me and Harry was looking at Kelsey.
She had reached him first.
"Hazza!" she called as if they were old friends, with her arms outstretched for a hug. "I've heard so much about you!"
And then, with me and Harry catching her double meaning at the same time, our eyes finally found each other.
Recognition filtered through his green irises and then a slow grin; that kind that took over his whole face, but didn't show teeth.
Our eyes remained locked for a few seconds, lost in a brief moment of us, before he turned and focused on Kelsey again. Hugging her gently, he smiled wider and said "I'm sure."
Then his eyes shined on me again; with that wide dimpled smile I dreamed about and bright wide eyes.
"All good things I hope." he said smoothly.
A shiver, quiver....hell, an earthquake current rippled through me.
Desire. Intrigue.
Love.
My heart beat rapidly.
Damn I had missed him and damn was I nervous.
I couldn't take the weight of his gaze and turned away.
I could still feel his eyes on me and I knew his previous expression.
There was no doubt in my mind after he finished with her, he was coming to me.
My body and mind knew I wasn't ready for that yet.
I quickly moved to Christina, delaying the inevitable.
"Are you okay?" I asked her as Harry finished up with Kelsey. Christina was practically shaking. The composed seventeen year old was nowhere in sight.
"No!" she hissed. "What the hell." she muttered, scolding only me.
I once again, held back a giggle.
"Why didn't you tell me-" she harshly whispered. "Why didn't you give me time toprepare?! Why didn't you-"
Harry's twin stood then and came over to us.
"Hi." he said outstretching his hand. "I'm Xander."
"Hi." Christina said but he was mainly focused on me. And I on him.
In the other part of the room, I could hear Harry (and now Jeff) still talking to Kelsey, but my focus was on this six foot specimen before me.
So this was Xander. This was the guy Harry was often texting and had met in New York.
And this was the Xander who he had been spotted with the last few days. I now had a name to the face.
Interesting...
There was no doubt in my mind he knew who I was too. He observed me in slight interest back.
But why?
My thought was confirmed about the recognition part when he skipped the introduction altogether and smiled at me.
He said "Glad to be back in town?"
Curiously, I suddenly wondered how much Harry had possibly told him.
It was a strange feeling to think he talked about me with his friends.
"Um... I guess. I mean-" While I paused on my answer, Harry finally glided over.
"Hi." he said to Christina first. "I'm Harry."
Xander turned to Harry in amusement and we both seemed to think the same thing. Out of all the people in this small room, he was the last one who needed to introduce himself.
"Ch- Chris-Christina." she mumbled.
Harry instantly smiled.
"Nice to meet you." he said pulling her in his arms. "Thanks for coming."
Once more, Harry's eyes moved to me. I broke the gaze quickly.
I looked for another distraction.
Taylor was talking to the lady. Jeff was looking at his phone now, and Kelsey...Kelsey was free.
Back to Kelsey I go.
Kelsey had just taken a seat and I quickly went to her, sitting right beside her.
Harry noticed as I darted back across the room, but didn't verbally acknowledge it. His eyes just followed me until I sat down.
My gesture caused a ripple effect.
As we all took our seats and got settled, Harry shifted his focus to everyone else. Sitting somewhat center, he asked how everyone was and how the drive was...was anyone hungry or thirsty...
Kelsey my lifesaver, was the most talkative as well as my baby sister and God bless them.
I couldn't even think of a full sentence for some reason.
This room was small, and slightly congested with all of us, but that wasn't why I was suffocating. It was Harry's presence. He seemed to be in every molecule of the room and though we were in a room full of people, with multiple conversations going, the elephant between us had to be seen by everyone- even Harry.
In all of the introductions and conversations, me and Harry were the only two who hadn't said one word to each other, or even gave a simple greeting, but yet, I had the majority of his attention.
As Kelsey discussed San Diego and the drive, he repeatedly moved his eyes to me. Taking me in and trying to withhold any emotion, we played a silly eye dance for a couple minutes.
Ya know the one: I catch him, he looks away....He catches me, I act like I was looking at something interesting behind him...
It went on a for a number of minutes, before Harry broke down first.
After Harry answered his own question about his travels to the stadium, our eyes found each other again. As his clear green met my clouded hazel, he paused his thought mid-sentence.
This time keeping his gaze on me, he smirked.
"And how are you?" he asked finally. His voice was peaked, and had a hint of a tease to it.
In the full five to ten minutes we had been in the room, it was our first interaction. I blinked and looked at him, caught slightly off guard.
"I'm fine." I said quickly, almost fumbling over my words.
He smirked wider and said, "Yeah? You sure?"
With the way he said it, 'hun' should have been on the tall end of that sentence, but he omitted it.
His dimples were wide, and my sexy cheeky Harry was in full effect. I tried to ignore the stirring in my nether region and turned from him, brushing away invisible lint on my pants. I tried to act like I didn't hear him and cleared my throat.
Thankfully Harry didn't pester on and quickly moved on to someone else.
I knew he got it.
This was not an us moment, and we weren't alone.
The way we were together didn't need to be broadcasted between our friends.
As he engaged with the next best thing-my sister- Kelsey used the distraction and nudged me.
What's wrong?
I gave her a quick smile, looking into her confused blue eyes.
Nothing, I'm fine.
She gave me a final look of concern, before setting her attention back on Harry.
The small talk continued and the stares from Harry's twin. I focused my attention on him as well.
He was handsome, tall and definitely my type; yet something about him rubbed me the wrong way.
I didn't like the way he looked at me.
I couldn't read him.
Around me the girls ventured into full fan mode, asking the questions they always wanted to know.
What's touring like?
What's your favorite song to perform?
What are the boys like?
Can we meet them?
"Sure." Harry said answering all their questions. "The guys are around here somewhere. I can bring them to you later."
That instantly got grins from the girls, and Harry continued to be polite.
"Do you guys want some merch stuff?" he asked. "I can get you guys some VIP bags to take home."
That even made my ears perk up.
I had never been offered a VIP bag before in my time backstage.
"What's in it?" Kelsey asked.
Harry shrugged casually. "Shirts and stuff. I think maybe even a phone charger or something."
"Uh...yeah!" Kelsey said loudly. "Stupid question."
Harry instantly gave a small laugh and agreed to get her one.
I watched as my best friend and my boyfriend?...beau?...lover?... shared a small smile.
I could tell he was enjoying Kelsey the most in this short encounter.
She wasn't shy, and her bold behavior constantly kept most of the attention in the room.
They spoke the most, and she was very engaging; not the least bit awed by Harry's presence, unlike me, Christina and Taylor.
If I didn't know her as well as I did and grow up with her, I would hate her.
She was just one of those girls and you know the kind I'm talking about.
And though it normally didn't bother me, today it did.
It sucked because I was sitting right beside her, so I had the attention too.
It continued that Harry's eyes found their way in my general direction, and though we weren't talking verbally, I could tell he was trying to send messages through his eyes.
I don't think he was lying when he said he missed me, and I could tell he was itching for me to say something to him.
He wanted some type of acknowledgement from me, but I wasn't going to give it.
I continued to coward under his stare, and I knew if I spoke, it would all be there.
I didn't know how to hide these new feelings well, and in the past when I had really liked someone, I had ran.
I was the epitome of that old Britney Spears song, Sometimes.
I didn't do this lust love shit well.
Yet still.
Conversation continued around me, and eventually the focus was on the youngest members of our brood.
Christina and Taylor centric, most of the questions shifted to the upcoming college plans of the girls.
At the mention of college Kelsey cut in offering quick advice and telling about our school days at Colgate. With my name being mentioned, Harry moved his eyes back over to me-once again. His eyes were warm and interested, and I knew he was listening to every word.
He seemed curious to know how I was when I wasn't with him.
It wasn't a mystery, nor that intriguing, but Harry listened like he was being told the winning numbers to next week's lottery.
I tried to keep my eyes off of him, but I was still a girl, still crazy about him and magnetically attracted so my eyes eventually made there way back over to his during the conversation shift.
I was surprised to find him still staring at me.
As our eyes locked once more, his expression remained serious and unlike before, he didn't quickly glance away.
Something was swirling through his mind. I could see it.
He twirled the rings on his fingers, looking at me for a few seconds before finally looking down.
"So what do you do?" came a question from across the room.
It sounded like the Xander guy and he was looking in my general direction. Harry and I both turned to him.
A moment later, I turned back to Kelsey because I figured he was talking to her, but she looked at me.
Then, the other eyes moved to me as well.
Catching the glances, I pointed to myself.
"Me?"
Xander nodded yes. "You're so quiet over there." he said gently.
Harry gave a small smirk, bringing his eyes back to mine, then placed his head back down, as I shifted uncomfortably.
"Uh...I, um...I don't do anything. I'm just a student."
"What do you study?" Xander asked. "Same as Kelsey?"
"No." I said. "Literature. The classics...I also minor in writing."
"Do you want to be a teacher or something?" he asked.
"No, Um-"
I froze under the eyes and being the focus in the room. I didn't like it. I was much too shy for it.
"No, Becca's going to be an author one day." Taylor cut in, recovering for her big sis I guess.
Though I appreciated it, I instantly shook my head no.
"Probably not. That's just a dream." I said narrowing my eyes at her.
Xander continued.
"So are you scared for your fourth year? You only have half the semester to complete right?"
Kelsey hadn't mentioned that. She had made no mention of our rank in the conversation and she definitely hadn't mentioned I was only attending half of the year- the rest of the year would be earning my internship credits at Entertainment Voice, a smaller publishing house in California.
I looked at Harry, because I was once again curious how much he had told this man. I knew nothing about him but from his casualness and information, he and Harry had definitely talked about me.
Plus Xander kept looking at me like he practically knew the sounds I made in bed. I wondered if he did. Did Harry discusss the intimate side of our relationship with his friends?
Catching my look and discomfort, Harry turned and looked at Xander.
He leaned over whispering something to him and Xander instantly shut up.
Then something happened.
Harry quickly stood.
"So do you guys want a tour? Want to see the stadium?" he questioned looking at my friends.
The chorus of yeahs, and sure's followed.
"Cool." Harry said then set his eyes on his longtime friend. "Jeff, can you maybe take them to Sarah's Kitchen for a bit? I'll catch up with you."
"Sure." Jeff said. Like me, he had been quiet most of the conversations, but stood up ready to lead.
I stood up as well and grabbed my small wraparound purse.
I let my sister, Christina and the older lady go in front of me.
We all started to shuffle out, including me, until I felt a small hand grab mine from behind.
Turning, I saw Harry and he was right behind me. So close, we could collide.
Kelsey who was right beside me noticed too and Harry looked at her. Xander stopped as well wondering what he had missed.
"We'll catch up." he said to both of them quietly, moving his hand over mine until they were interlaced. He gently moved me to him and disconnected our hand, only to wrap it around my waist in solidarity.
Luckily Christina was out of the room or I'm sure she would have given us a look and the secret would be out.
All the secrets.
Beside me Kelsey smiled and said, "Of course you will," and then, "Have fun."
Xander flashed Harry a knowing smile then they both attempted their exit.
My heart was racing.
Don't leave us alone! My eyes flashed to Kelsey.
I had been counting on the fact that we wouldn't get a moment like this; then we wouldn't have to talk--or do anything else.
Yet obviously Harry had different plans.
Looking at Kelsey, I tried to speak in the language of old best friends, but Kelsey ignored my petrified look and followed after Xander; right out of the door.
Then we were alone.
Harry's hand instantly let go of my waist and I prepared my first jumbled words.
I didn't get a chance.
Within seconds, the hand previously around my waist, re-grabbed my hand, pulling me in his arms.
I didn't even get a second to look at him before his lips crashed against mine.
Immediately like butter in a microwave, I instantly melted against him and my purse slid to the floor.
Relaxing, a hand went to the back of his head, while the other wrapped around his torso.
I moaned against his mouth feeling the gentleness of his lips, and completely loving the wave of Harry that quickly washed over me; a light switch turned on.
The unique comfort of being close to him returning. My nervousness, briefly forgotten.
He kissed me slow and leisured as if he was re-memorizing my mouth and I kissed back, making sure I wouldn't forget.
The chances of these encounters, getting slimmer by the day- hell, the hour.
There in that private room our mouths tangled for a couple seconds more before I disconnected to catch my breath.
Our faces remained close; so close, that our noses were still touching.
Swallowing and catching his own breath, he whispered, "Hi."
"Hi." I said gently.
Our faces pulled apart slightly so we could finally look at each other, and I smiled.
A blushing schoolgirl was born. As I moved to break his gaze and place my head down, he grabbed my chin, pulling my face back to his.
He pecked my lips one more time, slowly...and then he pulled his face away. Remaining in his arms, he studied me.
"You okay?" he asked gently.
"Of course." I said matching his tone.
His eyes were dilated and wide black orbs swirled in green.
"You've been ignoring me." he said.
His voice once again was light and he smirked. His eyes though dark, had a bright tint to them, and shined in the dim lighting of his personal room.
"Christina." I breathed, trying to find my voice. "Remember?" I questioned.
He nodded yes in understanding, but his expression said something different.
He disconnected his hands from my body and moved one to my hair. He thumbed his hands through my loose curls. My hair was half up, half down and fanning over my silk button up.
"Nice tan." he joked, taking in my partially sunburned skin from Mexico next.
I jokingly rolled my eyes and made a move to get away from him. His intense eyes turning me to jelly again.
He quickly reached for me, pulling me back to him.
"No, you look lovely." he quickly recovered, playing with a string of hair. He must have thought I was offended.
"Kelsey's work?" he asked next.
I smiled.
"That obvious?"
He continued his alluring smile.
"No. I've just never seen you wear your hair like this before."
"Well yeah." I admitted honestly. "All Kelsey."
He smirked lazily, dragging his eyes down and trailing his eyes down my shirt and denim shorts; my slightly heeled boots getting an eye raise.
"Well thank her for me." he said looking back up at my eyes.
I smiled and he moved to me again, closing the small space between us. Wrapping his arm around my waist tighter, he flipped our positions and my back hit a door.
Connecting our lips again, we wrapped around each other and the kiss quickly escalated from a minute earlier.
The kiss was gentle then rough. Slow then fast.
A hand moved down to my butt, cupping and quick moans were expressed.
Harry lightly grunted.
"You smell so good." he said kissing a cheek, and then my forehead. "And damn, you've gotten prettier."
I smiled.
"You're rubbing off on me." I said honestly. "Always."
He chuckled and kissed me again. His lips roughly encased my own, and I once again succumbed to the heavenly lips.
As Harry's other hand remained on my waist, he began to untuck my shirt, pulling it out from my shorts.
Moving his warm hand under my shirt, Harry briefly broke the kiss again. Moving his lips to my neck, I moaned again. I closed my eyes as his moved over me, and I just tried to keep myself together.
I had to remind myself that we were in a stadium, in his dressing room, and both of our friends weren't far outside.
Yet, when his lips made there way back to mine and he cupped my breast, squeezing a nipple, that thought disappeared.
Attack him! Fuck him right here! My hormones demanded.
Harry's other hand cupped around my ass again and he lifted me. Our kiss never breaking.
Both of my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands went to his hair.
Our lips devouring each other.
It was just about to reach another notch, with the beginning of discarding clothes when Harry pulled away.
He was the one to break the heat of the kiss and rested his forehead against mine.
"Wait, wait..." he mumbled. "What are we doing?"
I didn't respond, trying to ignore the wetness between my legs and the hardness I was pressed against.
We weren't doing what I wanted, that was for sure.
"Fuck..." he continued. "I've missed you." he whispered, more to himself then to me.
"Ditto." I said.
He lifted his head and gave another charming smile. Now cooled, he gently put my feet back down on the ground.
I smiled again as we finally pulled away from each other, creating notable distance.
He instantly observed my outfit change.
He smirked at me apologetically, taking in my new ruffled appearance. My shirt was still untucked and slightly wrinkled, and for the first time I noticed he had unbuttoned my shorts as well.
The boys' hands were magic.
"I did not mean to do all that." he said looking at the small hint of pinkunderwear now showing.
I shrugged and smiled.
"Its okay. Quick fix." I said and then as to show him, I readjusted my shirt back in my shorts and fluffed my hair.
"See? Good as new." I said proudly.
He smiled back at me and then readjusted himself as well.
I watched as he moved his boys around in his tight jeans and shifted his pants to their previous position B.B.--before Becca.
"We should go." he said, "Before your friends get suspicious."
"Good idea." I said.
I didn't know how long we had been in that room but our disappearance was probably peculiar.
Harry untied his bun while I reached for my purse again. Shaking his hair and running his hands through it, my baby Tarzan returned.
He gave a final smooth of his shirt and then a final smile.
"Ready?"
I just nodded yes.
Opening the door and holding it for me, I gave him a smile.
"Such a gentleman." I teased.
He placed a finger to his lips and shushed me as if sharing a small secret.
"Your eyes only." he said with a smile.
He shut the door behind me, and we began to walk in the main hall. The thump of the music above us and the bustle of his staff quickly got us back to normal.
I waived at people I recognized, but Harry kept his focus on me as we headed to Sarah's Kitchen and he placed his hands in his front pockets.
Our friends were nowhere in sight.
"So did you bring a bag?" he asked as we walked.
"Bag where?" I asked.
"With you? In the car?"
"No." I said. "Should I have?"
He turned away from me, nodding hello to a crew member. Then, back to me.
"Well, I mean...were you just planning on wearing that tomorrow too?"
I looked at him in confusion not understanding our sudden conversation and he looked back at me, reading my eyes.
"You are going back with me tonight right?" he said suddenly. "After the show?" he questioned slowly.
"I didn't know I was suppose too." I said just as slowly.
Had I messed that in a text message? Had he relayed that to me this morning?
He smiled.
His eyes stalled, a slight pink flush taking over his cheeks.
"Uh...Well you're not supposed too, but I just thought you would. I'm sorry," he said, slightly embarrassed. "I guess we hadn't really talked about it."
I turned from him, thinking of Kelsey.
She was right. He had assumed we would be together as well.
Maybe I was complete shit at this whole dating thing.
I kept walking.
"Well I didn't know you would want me too. I figured you would be with your friends."
"I will." he said quickly. "But," he paused having a thought, then dismissed it. "It doesn't matter. It's fine. Don't worry about it." he said and gave me a slow, wide smile.
Then,
"So what are you doing tomorrow then? Did you and the other girls have plans, or can we hang out?"
"I don't know. I'll probably be nursing a hangover." I said seriously.
Harry's eyes furrowed.
"You guys are going out tonight?" he asked in concern. "To a bar or something?"
"No, no.." I said ignoring his bothered tone. "We're having a ladies night at the hotel." I explained as we walked. "Just some drinks, music...nothing fancy." I said.
Harry turned away from me, watching his feet as he walked.
"Huh...Girls night...So what does that mean" he asked bringing his eyes back to mine. "No boys allowed?"
I smiled.
"No. We just don't have any boys to invite." I joked.
He stopped walking and looked at me directly.
"Well what about me?"
"What about you?" I asked.
"Can I come over?" he asked.
"To the Sheraton?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, if that's where you're staying." he said softly. "I'll come after I finish up."
I turned from him, walking once more.
"You can't be serious. Surely you don't want to spend the night with some boring girls."
He shifted in a casual dismissal and smiled again.
"No, I don't." he said. "But whose boring?"
I brought my eyes to his and we just shared another smile.
"You really would come?" I asked for reassurance.
"Consider it done." he said. "Can I bring some people with me?"
"Like Jeff and Xander?" I asked reading his tone.
He nodded yes.
"Sure." I said. "The more, the merrier."
He smiled wide again.
"Well alright."
As we made our way to Sarah's kitchen half a minute later, he once again played the role of gentleman letting me enter first.
"After you," he suggested, flashing with the flirty smile he had been sporting since we got alone.
I moved in front of him, but not before feeling his hand very slyly graze the dimple of my back and butt.
Giving him an immediate look, he tried to hold back his laugh.
"Sorry." he said. "Couldn't resist. I haven't touched you in a few days and withdrawal is a bitch."
I scolded him with a finger wag before we rejoined our gang.
I tried to ignore the curious looks of Christina as I took a seat at the table everyone had convened at.
Harry began talking to Jeff and Xander, while Kelsey moved by me, holding out some lip gloss.
Catching her hint, I reapplied the small tube to my lips correcting the evidence of the last few minutes while she smiled at Harry seemingly amused by our quick rendezvous.
"Christina's asking questions." she whispered a second later, "I don't think she'sbuying the lie."
"Why? What did she say?" I had just begun to ask, when Harry interrupted.
"Does anyone want anything quick? I want to go see if we can find the guys...oh, and your VIP bags." Harry said.
Locking eyes, I quickly bypassed my question, and instead moved fast to sell our lie.
"No." I said jumping up. "I want a bag though. Oh and Harry- thank you so much for all this. This is more than I expected."
My voice immediately took on the pitch of a 'fan' and Harry smiled, understanding what I was doing.
"Sure, but thank your mom." he said, playing along. "She's the one who arranged all this."
I nodded in agreement.
"She did say you loved her coffee." I threw out.
He nodded yes back.
"I do. I'm an addicted customer." he said and looked purposely at Christina. "For a lot of things actually. Especially the service."
Christina was buying every word, even though Harry had just gave a big clue.
Stevie Wonder could have seen he was flirting with me.
Giving him a quick scolding look, he turned from me and smiled, enjoying this whole thing even more.
Minutes later, we were shuffled out and on our own little private tour of backstage.
As Harry played guide passing the gym room, lounge rooms, and costume rooms, Jeff walked beside me once more.
We were trailed at the end of the crowd, he and I easily saying we had seen it all before.
"This is good practice huh?" he said lowly.
"For what?" I asked.
"Ya know...the future...when the questions pour in."
"What questions?" I asked, not understanding.
"Ya know...when people find out about you and-" he nodded towards Harry. "It's a good lie to sell. Just might work."
I smiled.
"Well I wouldn't say that. Christina is pretty gullible." I said lowly.
He smiled back.
"Besides...to be honest...I'm starting to think people aren't going to find out about us." I said optimistically. "Harry's quite determined." I said. "And he's good at hiding me."
Jeff shook his head in disagreement.
"No he's not Becca." he said.
I looked back at him.
"What do you mean? Outside of the tour, no one knows Jeff." I reminded him.
"I know." he said softly. "But that's not what I'm talking about."
I paused.
Huh?
I didn't get to inquire more, because he moved on, quickly talking to the older lady in our group.
After we got our small tour, with slight interruptions and our VIP bags, Harry started to break away.
"Alright gang." he said. "I've got to start getting ready for the show, and I think the doors are opening so we'll have to part soon."
It was true. In the last hour, the faint sounds and cheers from the parking lots had started moving their way through the stadium and in the last couple minutes, they had gotten louder.
"If you guys want, you can soon start heading to the front for shopping and I can have security show you where you'll be sitting." Harry said politely focusing on Taylor and Christina.
"Cool." came the chorus from the girls.
"Need some snacks anyway." Taylor reaffirmed.
"Great." Harry said, then he looked at me.
"I have to do some meet and greets, but you and Kelsey can head over with these guys-" Jeff, the lady and Xander- "And they'll take you to my section when you're ready."
"Sounds good." Kelsey said in agreement, but I had other plans.
"Actually Harry," I cut in. "I was wondering if maybe Christina or Taylor couldtake our seats and we'll take their section."
Eyes moved to me and I continued.
"This is their concert, and it makes more sense for them to have the close seats."
Kelsey immediately interrupted.
"Umm, I'm a fan too." She tsk'd and I gave a small smirk. "I want to sit up front too." she pouted.
I rolled my eyes while Harry smiled.
"You don't count, besides, they still have great seats." I argued. "We'll still enjoy the show."
"Speak for yourself." she said before flipping her hair, but Harry kept his attention on me.
"Are you sure you don't mind? I can try to get you all-"
"Positive." I said glancing quickly at the illuminated smiles of Taylor and Christina. "This day is for them. And the tickets don't have to go to waste. Me and Kelsey will be fine."
Harry gave me a small smile and then turned to the girls.
"Well alright, they'll show you where to go then. You girls have a little time though. Come with me first, I'll finally let you meet the boys and Icona Pop. You can probably grab some pics too."
Fangirling the hell out, the girls suddenly squealed and cheered.
I giggled, my laugh filling the small space between our friends.
I was so happy that they were enjoying this, and that I could do this for them.
It wasn't everyday that you could say your sister or best friend let you hang out with world renowned superstars.
Sensing my enjoyment, Harry turned to me while the girls celebrated amongst themselves.
Me and Harry's eyes found each others again and he gave me a warm smile.
His gaze lingered for a second...two...three...
Adoration filled his luminous green eyes.
I smiled back at him and for a moment too long, we saw only us.
Lost in our own little bubble, we didn't even notice when the other eyes in the room moved to us as well.
We stared at each other, while they stared at us.
Until Kelsey cleared her throat.
Breaking our temporary spell, our eyes gathered on her and the curious eyes of our friends.
"Well alright." Harry said a moment later. "Follow me."
I made a movement to do as he said, but I was the only one.
Our friends continued to watch us and around us, there was more than a small secret spilling out.
Already , people were starting to see something that we couldn't even see ourselves yet.
Yet, we would.
In just a few short days everything would reveal itself.
For now, the stares from our friends was just the beginning; as was this month.
Everything was about to change, and tonight was just the kickoff.

Notes

Comments

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BECCA?! Poor Harry :'(

Prinny1321 Prinny1321
6/9/19

Becca what are you doing! Harry loves you.

En_1960 En_1960
6/9/19

Nooo, Becca, what are you doing?! What's Harry going to think now when he wakes up and she has left... Amazing update as always!!

Harry02 Harry02
6/8/19

Ohhhhh.....Becca. Knee jerk reaction. Thank you for updating

En_1960 En_1960
6/1/19

YES, you're back, I had nearly given up on this story. This is still my favourite story on here so I'm super happy you're continuing it. I loooove the new chapters, so many feels!!!

Harry02 Harry02
5/31/19