All Again

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
BECCA

Then.

I smiled as I flipped another page in my book.
For the last half hour, my mind had been wrapped up in my book characters and the rollercoaster of their lives.
I wrapped myself in the music that was playing on my phone and curled up more on the couch, flipping another page.
Behind me, the calming music of Bon Iver, provided the soundtrack to the love story.
Oh if books were real life...
Oh if you could find someone to love and adore you like the people on the pages...
As I went to flip another page, my music paused and my phone chimed. I didn't feel like talking to anybody but it could have been Harry or my Mom so I placed my book to the side and picked up the phone.
Bringing it to life, my lock screen showed it was Kelsey.
I opened her message expecting to see something totally random or something about Bobby.
Instead, a different kind of message peered back at me.
*Becca...what's going on? Is everything alright?*
Instantly I was confused. I texted her back quickly.
*Everything is fine. Why?*
I waited for a response, but seconds later, got a phone call instead.
"Yeah?" I answered.
"Becca what's going on?" Kelsey said on the other end.
"I don't know. You're the one who texted me. What's up?" I asked.
"I heard about the Harry thing. Are you alright?"
"What Harry thing?" I asked in confusion.
"The thing that is all over the papers Becca."
Now I was even more confused, but I didn't immediately react- in fact, I barely moved.
All I did was sigh. Harry had warned me about this. Some stupid rumor was probably trending on Twitter or trending in the tabloids. Like the 'Harry uses Sheep Placenta Masks' rumor a couple weeks earlier, I paid it no mind.
"But Becca...this is a credible story."
"They're all credible stories." I reminded her. "And I bet you there's a lovely 'source' that's providing the quote right?" I joked.
She didn't find me funny.
Instead of a chuckle, I was greeted with a sigh.
I decided to appease her and give in.
"Fine. What is it?" I asked in disinterest.
She sighed in my ear, but was patient.
"Were you with Harry in New York . I mean, at all?"
"Of course, you already know that. Why?"
"Did he spend the night with you?"
"He always spends the night with me...." Then I got frustrated. I only had a short time before Harry returned and I wasn't one for the dramatics. "Kelsey, what are you going on about? Would you quickly get to the point? My book is getting good."
"You really haven't heard?" she questioned more to herself than to me.
Her tone was so cryptic and she was prolonging whatever she had to tell me. I already knew it was a stupid rumor and I didn't like that she was reacting so seriously. Granted she didn't know him like I did, but I had been with Harry for the last few days and nothing crazy was going on.
Whatever she had read was obviously not true, and she was wasting too much time on it.
"What was I suppose to hear Kelsey?" I asked impatiently.
"Um...I don't know how to tell you."
"Tell me what? Kels, what's going on? What's the matter?"
"Where are you?" she asked disregarding my question.
"I'm at Harry's house. Why?" I questioned for what seemed like the millionth time.
"Is he with you?"
"No he's at the gym...what's going on?"
"Do you have your computer?"
"Of course."
"Well I need you to look at something."
I sighed. Loudly. I was comfortable on the couch, with the blanket and book.
I didn't want to move. And I wasn't going to move over a silly rumor.
"Just tell me what the hell you're going on about..."I said. "I'm not getting up."
"But Becca, you have to see this-"
"You can tell me." I said stubbornly.
"Fine. Sara Sampaio." she said.
"Am I suppose to know what that means?"
"Harry was with her."
"Her who?"
"Sara Sampaio."
"Ooookkaaay...when?" I asked.
"Do you know who she is?"
"Nope." I said and I really didn't care. The only people Harry had been with recently was the Alexa Chung chick-when I was there- and Simon Cowell- which was work. Everybody else was his 'bros'
"Well she was in New York with Harry." Kelsey said.
"Okay..." I said asking for more. "Harry was in New York with his friends. That's possible. She could have been with one of them." I said.
"Well they were seen leaving his hotel together. The papers are saying they spent the night together."
I rolled my eyes. "Kelsey don't read that nonsense. It's not true. Harry was with his friends all night."
"Well did you meet any of these friends? And did he spend the night with you?"
I sighed. She was totally overreacting as Kelsey always did. I should have known.
"I already told you, he always spends the night with me."
"Well....there are pictures Becca. I just got worried when I saw them."
"Pictures of what?" I asked curiously.
"Harry and this Sara chick. She's leaving his hotel with no bra and shit. But...if you were with him then forget it. I'm sorry."
I stopped her. "What do you mean, there are pictures?" I said still stuck back there. "Pictures of what?" I re-asked.
"Get your computer." Kelsey said. "It's everywhere. I'm reading it from the DailyMail though."
I pulled back my blanket finally and tossed my book to the side. I headed upstairs to grab my laptop.
I didn't even know why I was entertaining this whole conversation. It was obviously a stupid tabloid rumor.
Harry hadn't necessarily slept in the room with me, but he was across the hall. There was nothing salacious going on.
"Are you guys good?" Kelsey asked as I grabbed my computer.
"Yeah we're great. Wonderful even. There's been like no problems. Kelsey, he's so great. Like...he's amazing with me."
"I'm sure." she said with a chuckle. "I still hate you...but I just didn't know what to think. Its all in the article. Supposedly they spent the night together but like you said it's bullshit, you were with him-"
"I didn't spend the night with him." I finally confessed. "At least not that night."
"But you just said-"
"I know what I said. He normally does sleep next to me, but he was next door with his best friend that night. I guess they drank a lot and Harry crashed."
Kelsey was quiet for a few moments.
"Then maybe it could be true Becca."
I rolled my eyes.
There she went again....
I quickly started up my computer.
"What's the website?" I asked.
"Dailymail.co.uk." she said as I opened a new web browser on my computer. It took a few seconds for the webpage to load.
"Do you see it?" Kelsey asked.
Yeah. I did.
I didn't even need to search for the article, it was right there in front of me, in a big and bold article.
PICTURED:
Harry Styles gets up close and personal with Victoria's Secret Angel Sara Sampaio...before she leaves his New York hotel the next morning in SAME outfit.
A picture of the two of them, immediately screamed back at me.
When the hell was this?
The only pictures I had seen of that night had been taken with fans, and the few papped pictures of he, Jeff, and mutual friends.
These were completely different.
"Hey Becca?" Kelsey called.
"Yeah...?" I asked,scanning each picture.
I was super confused.
"Do you see the pictures?" she asked.
"Yeah...I...I don't know what this is." I said analyzing every one.
"He didn't tell you about her?"
"No he didn't tell me anything...he..." my mind scanned, taking in all the information.
I scanned the article quickly.
Words like kiss, and chemistry stared back at me. I kept reading.
Everyone thinks something was up as she came back and they left so soon after each other the next morning...
"I didn't even know he was seeing her...I mean...visiting with her."
"Well were you guys together that night or were you only with Michael and them?"
"No I didn't see him that night. We stayed separate."
My eyes trailed the pictures.
"I've seen her." I estimated, remembering the girl from the hotel who had brought Harry something. This was the girl.
"I saw her at the hotel. The next morning."
"You've got to be kidding me!" Kelsey said suddenly, saying what I was thinking outloud.
Could he...
Did he...
"Do you think they spent the night together then?" Kelsey asked me.
"I don't know." I said. And I honestly didn't.
I wanted to believe Harry was innocent, but he had spent the night away from me.
Plus, there were pictures. High quality pictures that seemed to scream that they were taken on purpose.
I wasn't naïve and I understood the Paparazzi game. Every photo wasn't randomly captured, sometimes celebrities- even Harry- called them on purpose. This seemed to be one of those times. It just had all the ingredients.
Why would Harry want to be seen with her? Why would he even do something like that if we 'were together'?
I reread the article.
"It says she left the hotel and came back...and then these pictures from the next day...why would she do that? Why would she come back?" I questioned out loud.
That was bugging me too. Even if it was for publicity, she had no reasons to return to the hotel.
"Maybe so she could see him later."
"Yeah but then why stage the photos of her leaving...I mean, in case, you wanted to make it seem like she had left-"
"So they could have a random hookup and no one know the truth." Kelsey finished, reading where my mind was going.
My confusion quickly turned to anger.
"Kelsey, I'm going to have to call you back." I said suddenly and hung up the phone. I didn't even wait for her response.
I quickly dialed Harry's number but it went straight to voicemail.
We're sorry but the number you have dialed is currently unavailable...
I threw the phone across the coffee table.
Well this was bullshit!
I pulled the laptop closer to me and kept searching.
By now, I had this Sara girl's name, so I plugged it in the main search engine and a couple more articles about Harry and this model stared back at me.
I felt like a complete fool.
I wasn't buying the spend the night story because he slept with Jeff...but where did she come from? It was obvious they had hung out and she was at our hotel the next morning, so where did she sleep?
And who was she? Why was she so significant enough to hang out with Harry that night?
And furthermore, how come Harry hadn't mentioned her?
Even when she had came to the hotel, he hadn't even bothered to introduce her, even after I asked who she was.
Why....
I read more and more articles. Most repeating the same story.
I needed more information and it wasn't coming from those sources.
I decided to check the blogs.
Nobody was better investigators than his fans.
It just didn't make sense, but it did at the same time.
He had been so sweet the next morning and attentive. Hell, I was practically his meal the next morning in the bathroom.
Was that guilt?
Was that his way of making it up to me in his own way?
But I would know if he had cheated...right?
Because he had.
We were together or exclusive or whatever the hell Harry called this.
He made it clear before I came here that he didn't want me messing with anyone else, and I hadn't because he had made it clear he wouldn't do the same.
Until now.
But I knew Harry and he wouldn't do that.
Or would he?
I picked up my phone trying him again, but his phone once more went straight to Voicemail.
As far as I was concerned it probably further proved his guilt.
He probably knew about the article and was thinking of how to tell me.
He probably didn't have to even work out.
He was stalling.
Well...I would be waiting.
I sat at the kitchen counter with the computer screen opened and did some more digging until he came home.
There wasn't as much on the Sara girl as I hoped, but it seemed she had been in Harry's life a while. There were photos of her at his birthday party.
It only made me further roll my eyes.
What was the deal with these models?
Why the hell were they always around him?
And my God was she beautiful! Why was he even wasting his time with me if she was who he wanted?
Was her schedule just not free enough?
As I continued my search and my thoughts continued to roll, I got more and more pissed off.
By the time I heard Harry's gate open out front, I was fuming.
I didn't move though.
I would let him find me. That way he could see the evidence right away too.
I heard the door slam, and his keys hit his front buffet table.
"Becca?" he called out seconds later.
"In here." I responded from my place at the kitchen.
I kept my tone surprisingly light.
I heard him shuffle towards my location and seconds later, our eyes connected.
I could instantly tell he was in a good mood.
His hair was pulled back in a bun off his face, and he had discarded his sweatshirt.
"Hey love." he said warmly, energized I'm sure by his 'workout'.
I didn't respond.
He came to me, placing a quick kiss on my forehead before bypassing me and heading to the fridge. He pulled out a water bottle, and one for me, and took a long drink.
I just stared at him the whole time, not even reaching for the drink he had given me.
"How was your workout?" I asked a second later.
"Good." he said with one of his infamous Harry smiles.
This time, the wide boyish dimples did nothing for me.
"What have you been doing?" he asked breathlessly as he took another long sip.
"I need to talk to you." I said shortly.
"Alright. About what?"
He did another half smile, and his beautiful dimple stared back at me.
That damn thing taunted me.
Yet, I couldn't get caught up in that now.
I turned from him and moved my hand over my mouse pad.
My screen came to life, but nothing incriminating showed.
I was still on the Victoria Secret website, peeking at pictures of her.
Harry instantly smiled wider.
"Ooh." he said, his eyes lighting up. "You buying us something?"
I ignored his lust filled grin.
"No. Who is Sara Sampeo?" I asked keeping my face stoic.
"Who?" he asked.
"Sara Sampeo."
His brows furrowed.
"You mean Sampaio? The model?"
"I don't give a fuck what her name is. Who is she?"
His eyes immediately widened in surprise. However he didn't get upset. He was actually amused.
"Jeez. What's gotten into you?" he joked.
"Who is she?" I asked again, bringing no humor to my tone.
He pointed behind me at the screen. "You're looking at her," and then, "Why? Why are you asking me about her?"
"Did you see her in New York?" I questioned, not wavering.
"Yes." he said. "You did too." he took another sip of his water. "Why?" he asked again. "Why are you asking me about her?"
"Did you spend the night with her?"
His eyes widened, and his smug smile finally disappeared.
"What? When?"
"Don't play stupid Harry, you're caught. It's already out."
He chuckled.
"What are you even talking about babe?" he asked incredulously.
I grabbed my laptop and minimized the Victoria Secret site. I went back to the Daily Mail article and spun it to him so he could read it.
He took his good and sweet time, more concerned with figuring me out then looking at the evidence. His green eyes were highlighted with confusion and I could tell he was trying to figure out if I was joking or not.
After I stood, and moved away from him, he finally reacted.
Taking my previous spot, he sat down and pulled the laptop to where he could see it.
Narrowing his eyes, I finally grabbed the water bottle he provided me so I could have something to do with my energy.
His eyes clouded and moved quickly over the page.
"What is-" he mumbled under his breath.
I watched him waiting for a response as he read the whole page.
I got one, but it wasn't what I expected.
He jumped up suddenly and left the kitchen without a word.
"Where are you going?" I asked him following behind, but he ignored me.
I watched as he grabbed his cell phone off the front table and unlocked it.
I guess now his phone was back on.
More proof.
I didn't say anything as he punched in a phone number and made a phone call.
"Who are you calling?" I asked folding my arms across my chest.
He didn't respond, and walked past me. His green eyes brilliant.
He went back to my computer.
"Is this the only one? The article?" he asked suddenly, meeting my firm gaze.
"No." I said keeping my arms crossed. "There are others."
He rolled his eyes as whoever he was calling came to the phone.
"Hey." he said quickly. "Why haven't you called me about this Daily Mail bullshit?"
His tone was annoyed and I wondered if it was possibly Sara on the other end.
He continued.
"No, my friend just showed me. Supposedly there are multiple articles. Why didn't you tell me?"
Friend...friend...friend...
It instantly stung.
When did my title get that demoted?
"Well that's bullshit!" he said. "I didn't get any emails."
He typed something on the computer, his eyes scanning.
"Well when did they get the other pictures? I only authorized the shots at night..."
My mind kept running, taking in every word.
So he was aware that his picture was being taken, and he had still chosen to allow it.
"Well I don't care. That wasn't the agreement I had. I thought it was other paps but if it's the same people we okayed the night before, then that's not okay."
He stood from his previous spot, and finally came back over to me. Peering down at me, his eyes softened as our eyes finally locked.
"Well it's done now. But, it's ridiculous. I don't want any statements made this time...just let it blow over on its own. Like usual. I'll call Sara."
He finished up his call and sighed.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with this hun. I had no idea."
I didn't want to hear any of that. I was concerned with only one thing.
"Is it true?" I asked quickly.
"Of course not." he said just as quickly.
"No?" I questioned, not believing him.
His eyebrows creased once more.
"No." and then he gave me a look of sudden disgust. "You mean...you actually believe this story?"
"Of course I do." I said keeping his gaze. "You didn't spend the night with me." I reminded.
"I was in the next room with Jeff. You know that."
"I know what he says, and frankly, Kelsey would have lied for me too."
"You can't possibly be serious?" he questioned.
I ignored his incredulous tone.
"Why didn't you tell me you would be hanging out with her?"
"Because I don't have too." he said. "You're not my mother and she's just a friend."
His tone was suddenly harsh. The tables had quickly spun, and our roles suddenly reversed.
As he gave me a sudden cold look, I had to ask-
"Well why are you pissed at me?"
"Because you obviously don't trust me," he said. "Why would I spend the night with some random girl?"
"She's not random." I bit out. "She's been at your birthday party and everything. She's been in your life for a while. Definitely longer than me."
He took a step back, eyeing me up and down. The beautiful playful face I was use too, upturnt in rising anger.
"What the hell Bec? Have you just researched everything on the girl?"
"I didn't have too. It's all there." I said standing firm. "In those pictures she's not wearing a bra. Why? And why was she at the hotel the next morning?"
"I don't know." he said. "I didn't spend the night with her."
"Bullshit Harry you know." I argued.
"I was literally with you the entire time!" he snapped. "How could you even believe this bullshit?"
"You were not with me Harry. You were with her and your fucking buddies, out until three am in the morning."
He rolled his eyes.
"Oh my God...I can't believe were even having this conversation..." he muttered, finally turning away from me.
"Well we are. How could you do that too me?"
"Do what to you Becca?" he asked carefully.
"Embarass me like this. You know my family would hear about this. They know I'm with you. You made me look like a fool Harry."
"No, you're making yourself look like a fool. Right now. Why the fuck would I spend the night with her Becca...just think about it. Really...use your fucking brain babe."
"I don't know, maybe you wanted to get laid." I said smugly.
"If I wanted to get laid, I would have just came back to our room. It's not like you exactly refuse me. Since we've met it's been pretty easy to get you out of your pants Becca." he argued back, just as smug.
His comment instantly enraged me. So that was what he thought of me....
I was just his little fuck buddy.
Well no more.
"Fuck you Harry." I spat, moving away from him. I headed for the stairs.
He instantly followed, grabbing my arm.
"Becca don't. Look, I didn't mean it like that. Fuck can we just take a minute?"
"No," I said pushing out of his grasp. "I'm done fucking talking."
He peered down at me.
"What is this?" he asked, as I turned away from him again, heading back upstairs.
He continued to follow me.
"How the hell are you mad at me Becca? You're the one in the wrong!"
"No you are." I said turning back around. "Did you even read the article?"
"I didn't have too." he said. "I know the truth."
"Well answer me this, why is there a photograph of her leaving the hotel and then coming back? Obviously she wasn't staying in the hotel Harry or she would have changed her nasty ass clothes."
"I don't know." he said again. "I passed out. I didn't even see her the next morning until she came by the room, when you were there... Maybe she spent the night with one of my buddies."
"Stop it. Just stop. You're the one who she is in the pictures with!"
"Because I'm the one whose famous! If you were with me that night, you would have been pictured too Becca! Tabloids love that shit. I'm always linked to people i've only seen once."
I turned away. I didn't want to hear anymore. I didn't want to listen to him spin the lies. I made a movement to go upstairs once more.
He continued to follow.
"You're not even going to listen to my side. Are you?" he said trailing behind me. "I thought you trusted me."
"Hard to trust you when you lie."
"But I didn't."
He stopped me once more; one foot just hitting the first step.
"Then why didn't you tell me who she was when I asked you in the hotel that next morning, and even that night? Why didn't you tell me who you were hanging out with?"
"Because she's a friend. F.R.I.E.N.D." he spelled obnoxiously.
"Oh a friend? Well I'm a friend, you just said it on the phone. And you fuck me so-"
He rolled his eyes. "Don't even start that. You know what I meant."
"No I know what you said. You called me a friend, so maybe she's just a friend too. Maybe we're all just 'friends with benefits'." I said placing my hands in quotations.
He looked at me blankly, not amused.
"Are you done? Are you done overreacting now?"
"No. I'm going upstairs."
This time he didn't immediately follow.
"You're being ridiculous." he called after me.
I ignored him.
I headed upstairs and threw myself on the bed, re-crossing my arms.
I knew I was acting like a child but I didn't care. My whole day was ruined and I didn't care what he said. He was guilty of something. He was just too defensive.
As I sat there stewing, I didn't expect Harry to eventually follow me, but that's just what he did.
About a minute later, he came in the room.
I instantly turned away from him, letting him know I didn't want to talk.
He ignored me back.
He moved to his dresser and began pulling clothes out.
I watched him in slight curiosity as his back was turned.
He was pulling out a lot of different clothes and I couldn't figure out what he was doing.
"Are you leaving?" I asked.
"No." he mumbled, not turning to me.
He gathered the items and then left the room.
Hmm...seemed he was pissed at me now too.
Well fine. I didn't care.
I laid back on his pillows and turned on the TV. We could do this all day.
I could be the most stubborn woman on the planet if I set my mind to it.
I settled into his pillows and watched the stupid sitcom that was playing in front of me.
Across the hall, I could hear the start of the shower, then eventually Harry's feet hitting the stairs.
I was a little disappointed that I had left my phone downstairs, but I wasn't going to go down to get it.
Whatever 'fight' we were having, needed us both to have some space from each other.
So, I stayed up there most of the morning and well into the afternoon.
Harry never came back upstairs, but every so often I could hear him moving downstairs.
I would hear the fridge slam, or the faint sound of his voice as he spoke on the phone.
I was a little curious if he was talking to the Sara girl at all, but didn't pry.
He probably wouldn't have told me anyway since lately he was so good at keeping secrets.
By three, I grew tired of the TV and needed my phone. Reluctantly I made my way downstairs.
I instantly saw Harry sitting on the couch, feet propped up with a blanket wrapped around him.
He was watching TV and texting.
He didn't even glance my way as I walked past the room.
I went to the fridge, grabbing a juice and headed back out to the main sitting area where he was.
I was looking for my phone, since I didn't find it in the kitchen.
As I moved further in the room, I saw it was on the table, right beside his foot.
Not saying a word, I bent and retrieved it.
He didn't even glance my way.
As I went to move back upstairs, he finally spoke.
"I'm going out for a bit." he said.
I turned to him. His eyes were still locked on his phone.
"Where?"'
"Meet some friends."
"Have fun." I said simply and headed back upstairs.
If he wanted a different reaction from me, he wasn't going to get it.
I wasn't going to beg him to stay around.
I headed back upstairs, and plopped my ass right back on the bed.
An hour later, I heard a car start outside.
Heading to his roof terrace, I watched as he backed out of the driveway in his black Range Rover.
My phone buzzed.
By now, I had conversations going with my parents and Kelsey.
It seemed they had all heard about the story.
*What's going on?* My mother's text had read. *Do you need a ticket back home?*
I didn't want to involve my parents in the drama so I just texted her that everything was fine and it was a rumor.
However, everything was not fine.
I still felt like Harry was lying to me.
He was being so secretive and wouldn't exactly confirm or deny the reason she was with him hanging out.
Had she been one of the people he needed to meet in New York?
How long had they been friends? And how close were they?
Again, why did she need to be there, in the lovely circle of Harry's celebrity friends? How significant was she?
I settled back in Harry's bed, and continued watching the stupid TV. I was looking for a distraction and nothing was helping.
I kind of missed Harry.
A few times I ventured to the fan blogs and read their reactions. Like me, most of them had assumed something devious had gone on. Whether it was for P.R. or the real thing, most believed they had slept together.
It just hurt me further.
Here I was, in his bed, in his house, in fucking London, and yet...everyone was talking about them. Everyone was talking about how much he was into her- or lack thereof, based on the pictures.
Harry strikes again! What is his obssession with fucking all these models?
Maybe they have been hiding their relationship and now they can show it...
I'm tired of the whole Harry GF drama, let the boy live his life...
If Harry and Sara are anything they will be over in two months, he has commitment issues...
I feel like they are serious. She came back, so obviously he was trying to hide her...
They are just friends! Gosh, isn't he allowed to have female friends? Harry has even said it 'I have friends that are girls and apparently I'm dating all of them'. Come on!
My fucking head was spinning. I didn't know what opinion to side with.
Eventually I just chucked my phone across the room, and turned the TV off.
I needed to sleep and I didn't need the reminders.
I felt like a fool enough.
I had been sleeping with Harry for three months and now it was slapping me in my face.
It was like his birthday all over again.
It dawned on me that he didn't tell me about Sara because she was a celebrity and part of that celebrity circle he surrounded himself with.
I wasn't apart of that world and I never would be and there was no reason for me to even know about them or meet them.
He could have introduced us at the hotel but he had chosen not too, because I was just a fling.
I was just one of his girls passing through.
I turned over, letting my thoughts consume me until I fell asleep.
When I woke up, the house was quiet and it was dark outside.
It was obvious he was still with whatever friends he had gone to see.
I headed downstairs, grabbing a quick snack and then climbed back into bed.
By now the clock read 11:42pm and he should have been back.
I wasn't going to text him, because we were suppose to be in a 'fight' and it was obvious once again I wasn't a priority.
I read a little bit more of the book I had started, but by now, the romance wasn't anything I wasn't interested in hearing about.
I would have preferred something with a bit more angst.
I fell back asleep and didn't awake until the morning.
When I did, it was 8am. I instantly checked Harry's side of the bed since I hadn't heard him all night and found it was empty and unslept in.
I immediately became irritated again.
It was obvious he had stayed out all night with his friends and there was no telling whose bed he had slept in this time.
I quickly went to the bathroom taking a quick shower and then brushing my teeth, then headed downstairs to the kitchen, slamming everything in my path.
Since I was alone, I was still dressed in my robe, with my hair pulled up in a towel.
I pulled out a skillet, slamming it on the stove and lit the burner. Then, I opened the fridge loudly and pulled out the eggs.
I grabbed some juice and slammed it on the counter as well.
I went to grab some silverware, listening as it skidded across the drawer when I heard a presence.
I looked up in time to see Harry walking in the room.
He was in a t-shirt and his boxer shorts.
His face looked like he was still waking up and his hair was wild on his shoulders.
"What are you doing?" he groaned, rubbing his eyes.
"I...I didn't know you were here." I mumbled.
"I am. And I was asleep. Why are you slamming stuff?" he asked looking around at the contents on the counter.
I looked back at him and his sheepish, annoyed expression.
"Again, I didn't know you were here. Where did you sleep?" I asked curiously.
"In a different bedroom." he said and moved past me.
He opened the fridge and pulled out a water bottle.
"Why?" I asked.
He ignored my question and walked past me. He began to head out of the room.
"Can you keep it down please?" was all he said.
I was going to answer, but he didn't even wait for it, leaving before I could respond.
It angered me more. It was as if I still wasn't a priority.
I picked up the skillet and slammed it again in protest.
I heard him say something in the distance, but I couldn't make out the words.
Still it made me smile to know I had slightly irritated him.
After that, I quieted down, and fixed myself a small breakfast of toast, eggs and fruit.
I didn't make any for Harry because it was obvious he was going back to sleep.
As I did, my thoughts were on him. I wondered how long he had been out last night.
It was obvious he hadn't got much sleep.
Still he had came home and that was my main concern.
I didn't know why he had chose to sleep in another bedroom and it was clear he wasn't going to discuss it.
Fine. Whatever.
I headed back upstairs.
The TV was still playing from the night before though it was on mute and the morning news was on.
I glanced at it for a few moments and saw the weather would be in the 80's.
I would have loved to be outside. It seemed a shame to be cooped up in this house, especially when I was in London and should be out exploring somewhere.
Since I was in London, I couldn't exactly hop up and go anywhere, so I decided to enjoy the weather a different way.
Going through my bag, I found my bathing suit and book.
After changing and grabbing my phone too, I headed back downstairs where the house was still quiet and I was sure Harry was resting.
I headed outside to his wide backyard.
The area was well maintained and manicured.
Thus far, I hadn't seen any evidence of maids or house keepers, but I was sure he had someone look after the property when he was gone.
I wasn't sure how far his parents and other family lived, but I imagined it wasn't that close based off previous conversations.
The fact that we would have to make a day drive out of it confirmed my thoughts.
Grabbing a lawn chair, I stuck my headphones in my ear, and popped open my book. I could finally feel myself relax for the first time in the past few hours.
As I re-visited the love story in my hands, my mind was once again on Harry.
I wish we weren't fighting and that we were spending time together.
I kind of wished I could be laid in the bed with him right now. His hands in my hair, my hands on chest....kissing, making love, talking...whatever...
But oh well...
It was not meant to be. Especially after the events of the last few hours.
So, settling back, I got lost in my book and took in the nice rays of the sun. Completely comfortable, I eventually lost track of the time.
The dark shadow of a figure, the only thing to eventually pull my attention away.
As I lifted, my eyes took in the tall, lanky frame of Harry who had stood in front of me.
By now, his clothes were changed and it was obvious he had been up for a while.
It was likely he had never went back to sleep.
Peering down at me, he began.
"So I have a friend coming over. I don't know if you plan on being out here a bit...but if you're going to come into the house. You might want to change your clothes."
His tone was indifferent, and I couldn't read his mood. He wasn't angry, but he definitely wasn't cheery either.
I glanced back at him as he took in my swimsuit. He was wearing a graphic tee and dark wash jeans. Not exactly dressed up his-self.
"Is it a guy?" I asked.
"No." he said, "But she's a friend. And I work with her some time."
Another girl friend.
I rolled my eyes.
"You've just got friends all over the world don't you?" I asked sarcastically.
I was a friend, Sara was a friend, now this girl whoever she was, was one too.
He obviously had friends coming out of his ears.
He rolled his eyes, from mirroring my expression and turned from me.
He was already done with the conversation.
"When will she be here?" I called as he walked away.
"Thirty minutes" he answered, but he didn't turn back around and face me.
He just kept his usual long stride back into the house.
Hmm.
Before he came, I had no plans to move from my current spot, but now that a woman was coming over, I would be in that house.
However, I wasn't going to change until I scoped her out.
So resuming the play button on my phone, I turned around so I was flat on my back.
I had a half hour, so I would relax until then. I tossed my book to the side finally and got lost in the soft voices of the musical group Wet.
I allowed forty-five minutes to pass and then I figured the girl must have been there.
Leaving my things on the lawn chair, I strolled in the house with my two piece on.
The first thing I saw was Harry and the girl.
The second thing I saw was her hand on his thigh.
The third thing I saw was him peering at her with a smile while she looked down at him.
He was sitting on the edge of the couch and she was standing beside him.
What the hell did I walk into?
My eyes were stuck on her hands when they both turned to me.
The girl instantly removed her hand and hit me with a wide smile.
"Hi!" she said; her voice equivalent to a high pitched squeak. The cheeriness obviously fake.
She sashayed over to me with long blonde mermaid hair and big heavily eyelined eyes.
She looked like a raccoon, but she was a pretty raccoon.
Damn, were any of his friends unattractive? Definitely didn't seem like it.
"I'm Pandora." she said placing her hand out for me to shake it.
I didn't. I barely looked at it.
"Like box?" I questioned, taking her in.
She chuckled and in the distance, Harry rolled his eyes and stood.
What was his problem today?
He was the one who got caught, and yet, he was the one in the pissy mood?
He needed to seriously grow up.
"Yes like box." the girl responded. "Though my last name is Lennard. You're...Brenda?" she asked.
"Becca." I corrected, but it was interesting she knew my name. I'm sure the fumble was on purpose.
I wonder what else she knew.
"That's right." she said. "Sorry."
Though she wasn't. I was familiar with these high school games.
Especially when she began to eye me carefully.
I hadn't changed my clothes so my modest 34B cup was on full display along with my newly tanned stomach.
My body was fit so I wasn't self-conscious about that, but I didn't like her stare. I felt like she was analyzing me; eyeing her competition.
I moved my attention to Harry who was watching us.
"Let's finish." he said to Pandora as he stood fully. "Are these all the ones?"
I looked down at where his eyes lingered and saw clothes that were wrapped in garment bags.
She must have been a stylist or something.
"Yes." she said giving me a final glance and moving towards him.
She joined him on the couch.
As she did, Harry looked at me giving me a disapproving look at my outfit, but I didn't think the girl minded.
She was in a very short sundress herself and not at all professional looking.
Nonetheless, I was now trying to move towards his good side, so I moved away from them for a moment. Heading upstairs, I grabbed my robe upstairs.
This girl was a threat, but I didn't think he would jump her in the living room; especially while I was there.
But then again...lately...
I refreshed my appearance quick and tousled my hair before going back downstairs.
By now, the garment bags were opened and silk shirts lined Harry's couch.
He eyed each piece carefully.
"Did you fix the one from last night?" Harry asked.
Last night?
"Yeah. I've got it in the car."
Last night, last night?
"I think I want that one. These are nice, but that one is more what I'm looking for."
The raccoon nodded, smiled at me since I had reappeared in the general room, and grabbed her car keys.
"I'll be back." she said warmly. I watched as she sashayed out of the room again. Her dress seemed shorter now than it did before. Lift it about half an inch, and I would have seen everything.
I turned to Harry to see if he noticed.
His attention wasn't on either of us, as he continued to look at the clothes on the couch. I moved over by him, taking advantage of our alone time and looked at him.
"So...you were with her last night?" I asked casually.
I tried to fill the awkward silence.
He didn't answer my specific question, but he did surprisingly answer.
"Thank you." he grumbled.
"For what?" I asked.
"Putting on something. You shouldn't walk around the house like that when there is company."
His eyes still didn't meet mine or else he would have seen my eye roll.
"Harry it's hardly lingerie. I'm wearing a bathing suit." I pointed out.
He didn't respond.
I remembered then he hadn't answered my question, but somehow I felt it was done on purpose.
"Were you with her last night?" I re-asked.
He looked up at me, finally meeting my gaze-square in the eye.
"Yes I was. Think I slept with her too?" he questioned defensively.
"I don't know. She's awfully touchy." I said referencing her earlier hand placement.
He shook his head in discontent and shifted a shirt.
"You know Becca..." he drew, "There's something you seriously need to understand..."
"And what is that?" I asked, but we were interrupted before he got the chance to continue.
Pandora suddenly came back in with a new garment bag.
"Here hun." she said as she placed it down.
I didn't like her hun comment, but once again it didn't affect Harry. He barely acknowledged it.
He stood over the garment bag and pulled out the item of clothing she had brought in. It was a red and green shirt with a bow and tassel.
Harry studied it for a second and then pulled his shirt off.
Both me and Pandora's eyes immediately shifted to his newly exposed, inked tan skin.
He was the fire, and he had just drawn us both to his flame, though once more, in his own world, he didn't even realize it.
He shifted the shirt in his hand, and then slowly placed it on.
I immediately knew the shirt must have cost more than my regular paychecks at the café.
Harry shook it on his body, loosening it.
"Oh it's much better." he said to her. "You're amazing." he said giving her a smile.
She moved to him, touching the shirt, and helping fluff it. I didn't miss the hand that casually ran across his chest too.
I loudly sighed, though the Pandora girl paid me no mind.
Harry at least looked at me, but didn't respond to my jealousy. Maybe he was getting a secret kick out of seeing me like this because he didn't even attempt to stop it. It was obvious she wanted her clothes on his back, and his body in her bed.
I tried to calm myself down and refocus on the shirt. When she left, any concerns I had could be addressed then. After all, I was the one who was staying with him.
Looking back at the patterned shirt, I was curious what he needed the shirt for.
It seemed much too fancy for his upcoming shows.
"You don't need me to alter it anymore?" Pandora asked Harry, looking at him like he was God's gift to women.
I wanted to wrap my hands around the long hair and slap her.
Guess I was officially jealous.
"No it's great." he said. "This is the one. I'll keep some of these other ones, but this is the one for tonight."
"Kay handsome." she said and shifted the other shirts.
I bit my lip as I continued to be ignored. I was an obvious third wheel.
Well not for long.
"What's that for?" I cut in curiously.
"The party tonight. Are you going?" Pandora asked.
I looked at Harry in confusion. I wasn't even aware of a party.
"No." Harry said beside her, answering for me.
I ignored him and his 'tude.
"What party is it?" I asked her.
Pandora looked at him for permission to answer, but he ignored her too.
Due to answering me, maybe she was now dead to him too. Guilty by association...
"How much do I owe you?" he wrapped up.
"On the house Haz. I owe you for last night." she said warmly.
What the hell happened last night?
"Cool." he said with a wide smile.
"What party?" I interrupted again, and Harry cut his eyes at me.
Feeling pity, or maybe to rub it in my face she knew, Pandora answered again.
Gathering her clothes she said, "It's at Lou Lou's."
"Lou's having a party?" I questioned quickly. And I wasn't invited?
We weren't super close, but we spent quite a bit of time talking since I had arrived. When Harry was working or doing backstage meetings, I was often with her.
"Not Lou Teasdale." Harry corrected. "That's the name of the club."
"What's it for?" I asked, and Harry cut me off.
"Becca, we'll talk about it later. Can you let her do her job please?"
"I just want to know what party it is." I said simply.
"And we'll talk about it later. Just leave it alone." he said finally dismissing me.
Well screw you too.
I didn't respond and scoffed as I left the room.
He was still being a major asshole.
As I walked away, I heard Pandora.
"Did I come at a bad time? Girlfriend trouble?" she questioned in a low tone.
I was close enough to hear, "She's not my girlfriend." before I disappeared up the stairs. I made sure to be purposely loud with each step so he knew I had heard his comment. Though at this point, I didn't think he cared.
I plopped back on the bed, holding back the tears and pulled out my cell phone.
I was pissed and now hurt.
First the Sara thing, then he slept in a separate room, and now this...
What was next?
I shot Kelsey a quick text telling her I needed to talk (before the real waterworks began) and headed out to the balcony terrace where I could have privacy.
She called me immediately.
She listened to me as I ranted and raved, and as I spoke disgust when the Pandora chick finally left.
I watched as she pulled her Mercedes out of his driveway, but not before getting a long loving hug in the carpark.
Two minutes later, I heard a presence behind me.
It was Harry.
"We need to talk." he demanded cutting into my phone conversation.
We definitely did.
I immediately told Kelsey I needed to call her back.
"Alright, I'm by my phone when you need me." she said in reassurance. "It'll be fine. This is just a minor rough patch."
I didn't respond and ended the call.
Harry took a step towards me.
"We need to get some things straight-" he began but I cut him off.
"I don't want to hear it Harry." I said and shifted past him. "I've had enough of your asshole behavior today. If we're going to talk, it's going to be me leading."
He chuckled. "You're in my house. Or have you forgotten that?"
If he mentioned it to prove a point that I had to listen to him, then he was wrong.
I spun and looked at him.
"No. Trust me, I've been reminded all day. You've pretty much left me alone for the last two days in this house by myself. I'm in London Harry. Where the hell am I suppose to go? What am I suppose to do when you decide to run off?"
He sighed, taken aback for a moment. I knew he wasn't expecting that response.
He ran a hand through his hair and looked down.
"I'm sorry," he said gently. "I needed space. You've been a bit much."
"And what the hell does that mean?"
He looked back up at me and gestured to me.
"This. This is what I mean. You've totally acted like a different person in the last twenty-four hours."
"And you haven't? You slept in a different bedroom Harry."
"You ignored me all day." he pointed out. "And when you did talk to me, it was to accuse me of sleeping with someone else. So yeah...I slept in another room. Obviously you don't trust me."
"Well look at the shit you do." I argued back. "Who was that girl that was just here?"
He rolled his eyes. "Her too? Really Becca? Even she bothers you? God, I just work with her."
"She's into you Harry. Like in a major way." I assured.
"Well I'm not into her. Not like that." he nipped back. "I was into you, until you started acting like this."
"So what does that mean? You're over it? Because I can leave...this is just a waste of my time anyway."
He sighed, trying to find patience. "I didn't ask you to leave. We just need to get some things straight. You can't act like that just because you're jealous. This is my work and whatever goes on between us, can't affect that."
"Oh trust me, it's more than work for her."
"Maybe it is, but I haven't given you one reason not to trust me thus far. I've been honest with you and I've tried to include you. And the first rumor you hear, you're jumping down my throat. I can't be with someone like that."
"We're not together Harry. At least that's what you just said. Downstairs you told the mermaid I wasn't your girlfriend."
"That's because you're not acting like one! Again, look at where we are...you're here...with me...why are you threatened by these other girls?"
I ignored his question.
"It's not just now. You never refer to me as any more than a friend."
"That's because of what we agreed on Becca." he said. "You don't call me your boyfriend either."
"I sleep with you." I reminded.
"Yeah and I sleep with you. Only you. That's why we shouldn't even be having this conversation. If I wanted a different girl here with me, she would be. It's not that hard to find one Becca. Fans are lined up and down for the picking. But hun, you just have to trust me."
I moved past him and didn't respond. At least not to that question.
"What is this party you're going too?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes again.
"It doesn't matter. It's not important."
"See." I said pointing at him. "You're doing it again. You're hiding shit."
"It's not important Becca." he said. His voice raised a bit, trying to override my concern.
"Well then how come you didn't tell me? Or even invite me?"
"I was. You were supposed to go. That's how Pandora knows who you are. Alexa too. The outfits you picked out before at her house were for that purpose. I even had Pandora pull some dresses but then you started acting like this, so I told her forget it last night."
"That's such bullshit." I said. Once again I knew he was spinning lies to fit his narrative. The Alexa trip was obviously for him, and I had just been thrown in there to pass time while he looked.
"Fuck! Fine!" he said throwing his hands up. "I'm done trying to convince you. You obviously are going to believe what you want so i'm done with it."
"Are you leaving again?" I asked as he took a step towards the door.
"Yeah I am." he practically growled.
"Where are you going this time?" I asked.
"Nick's." he called out, darting down the stairs.
"So you're just going to leave me again?" I called out, but he ignored me.
He grabbed his keys downstairs and his phone and then he was gone, slamming the door behind him.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to run out the front door and scream "Asshole!" at his car, but I didn't.
I headed back upstairs and pouted like a three-year-old.
It was all I could do.
I was stuck in this stupid house and he was out in the world, free and with no worries.
It was bullshit.

Notes

Sorry for being gone so long!