All Again

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HARRY
Then,
The rest of the time I was in Los Angeles we called each other everyday; sometimes, two and three times. After her text message, I went out of my way to make her feel included. I didn’t want her to feel that she couldn’t be important and I wanted to prove to her how wrong she was about me.
I wasn’t the celebrity that she envisioned and I wanted her to know it wasn’t that hard to be apart of my life in normal circumstances. I was easily accessible when I wasn’t touring.
Through our conversations, she let me get to know her.
We talked about a lot: her schooling, our childhoods, my career. I discovered quickly that we had a lot of the same interests and opinions on certain things.
By the time I headed to Australia for my tour in early February, she had became a regular staple of my life.
The only problem was, we were now on completely different time zones.
My mornings became her afternoons and my nights were her mornings. Every time I tried calling she was in class or headed there. Every time she called me, I was headed to the stage or on it.
It was unbelievably frustrating, especially since I was keen on getting to know her, and I couldn’t even get her on the phone.
She seemed to share my pain.
“This is not working.” She finally said on Sunday, the 11th. I had been in Australia for a week by the point and we were both fed up with my new schedule.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Her tone was playful but I felt bad. I was minutes from my show and we had been talking since I got to the venue. It was the most conversation we had enjoyed for days.
“No I get it. Trust me I do. It just sucks because I miss talking to you.”
I smiled. I knew exactly how she felt. I had grown quite fond of her voice and listening to her. She had stories for days, and could cheer up my mood when I was tired or stressed from my schedule.
“I miss talking to you too.” I said honestly. “When’s your spring break?”
“Next month.”
“Next month when?” I asked.
“Middle of the month. Why?”
I bit my lip thinking. I was calculating my upcoming schedule and a way to close the gaps.
“I’m just thinking.” I said outloud. “It kinda sucks you don’t have a passport.”
She chuckled. “Why would I need a passport? I‘m not going anywhere.”
“Well you could come here. We’ll be in Thailand around that time I think.”
“Thailand?” she questioned. “You’re not serious.”
“I am. I mean, who doesn’t want to spend their spring break in Thailand?” I teased.
She giggled and sighed. “Yeah I wish. I bet it’s beautiful.”
“Well…Get a passport.” I threw out casually. “Then you could see for yourself.”
“Even if I did, those things take forever to ship. I wouldn’t make it in time.” she pointed out.
“Yes you would. You can expedite it and have it in three weeks.” I said, already done prior research on the subject. “It would be no big deal, and if you’re worried about the money, I would definitely reimburse you.” I said seriously.
She paused, growing quiet.
“I can’t tell if we’re just talking or if you’re serious.” She said softly. “Would you really want me to get a passport?”
I didn’t answer right away.
Did I?
There was still a lot more to learn about her, but it could be fun. Everybody else always invited their girlfriends and friends on tour, why not me as well?
Why not use that time to get to know each other a little bit…
But, could I trust her?
So far she hadn’t ran to the papers about me, but she also didn’t have anything really concrete. Our conversations were still pretty innocent.
She pulled me from my thoughts.
“Harry?” she called in a gentle tone. “You still there?”
“Yeah!” I said quickly. “Sorry. Uh…”
I looked around backstage. I was still deciding on the right answer.
“Why not?” I said after a few seconds. “You said you wanted to travel.”
“I do but…I don’t know.”
“Would your parents mind?” I asked, hearing her resistance.
“No. I mean maybe. They don’t know about you.”
“Well we can figure it out.” I said quickly. “But you should think about it. I mean…this is all getting harder.” I said honestly and it was. If we were going to continue whatever this was, I would need something to hold on too.
In my profession and experience, and my hectic schedule, I would need a reason to try. I liked her, but it still wasn’t enough.
Not yet.
“I will if you really don’t mind me coming?” she asked hesitantly.
“Of course not. I want you too.”
“What about Nadine?” she asked suddenly and I froze.
We had only discussed her once and it had been very brief. I didn’t feel we needed to discuss her regularly.
“What about her?” I asked carefully.
“Won’t she mind if I’m spending time with her boyfriend?”
I chuckled.
What was it with people thinking she was my girlfriend?
“I’m not her boyfriend. Honestly I probably talk to you more than I do her right now.”
“Oh.” she said. I could hear the surprise in her voice.
“Plus,” I continued. “I don’t think we’ll even be together by then. It’s not like everybody thinks.”
“But don’t you like her?”
“Yeah, she’s a nice girl.” I said, but it nothing to do with it. Truthfully something was just missing with her. I already knew the effort I would need to put in wouldn’t even be worth it.
Honestly Nadine wasn’t giving me much to want to hold on too.
“Alright.” Becca said finally. Her tone was suddenly different.
If I knew her better, I could have read it. Instead, I tried to guess what I said to possibly retract it.
“I’ll let you know okay?” she said before I had the chance.
“Cool.” I said warmly.
We finished up our conversation and then I headed to stage.
Over the next couple days, we tried to keep in touch, but failed, since our schedules weren’t synching well. I needed to talk to her because I was curious if she was considering my proposal. When I had initially threw it out, it had just been a quick suggestion. But, as I thought about it more, I realized it would be nice if she could come. It did get lonely on the road sometimes and she seemed like she could be fun.
Still, if she was going to come she would need a passport and a quick trip to the doctor for shots-- plus I would need an answer sooner rather than later so my team could plan for it and book her a room.
I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or pressure her but I was anxious and needed an answer.
“Have you thought anymore about it? The passport thing?” I asked when I finally got her on the phone for a few minutes.
“Yeah. It’s already in the works. I’ve been looking into everything and I might be able to get one by break.”
I was elated; way more than I expected.
“That’s great!” I said thinking of things we could do. “As long as your parents say it’s okay though.”
She playfully scoffed. “Harry I’m twenty years old. I’ll be twenty-one in May. If I want to come, I will.”
“Well excuse me!” I said playfully.
I could hear her giggle and I started to picture her face. I already couldn’t wait to see it in person.
After we hung up, she was still on my mind. We were only a few hours away from the official ‘Valentines Day’ and I decided I wanted to do something special for her. Since our schedules were so different, I had more than enough time to decide on something to get.
Looking on my phone for possible gifts, I finally settled on lavender roses. I called a florist and ordered two dozen and had them sent to her college.
I had no idea where she actually stayed or if they would get to her, but I figured there weren’t that many Becca Johnson’s and they could do process of elimination.
Many hours later, when I was sleep, I got a text message from her thanking me.
*Thank you Harry. They’re beautiful! Happy Valentines Day*
When we spoke later, she expressed regret that she hadn’t gotten me anything.
“That’s not why I did it.” I quickly explained.
“I know, but I’m going to get you something.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked interested. “And what would that be?”
“Don’t know, but I’ll bring it to Thailand with me.”
My heart skipped a beat hearing her say that. I was getting more and more excited at the possible prospect and it made me happy that it was on her mind as well.
“Don’t promise things you can’t deliver.” I teased.
“Oh I’ll deliver. And you’ll love it!” she said.
“Oh will I?”
“You will.”
“Alright, well Becca Johnson, I look forward to it then.” I said, enjoying our flirtatious game.
“Well Harry Styles you should.”
A few days later I would be in Japan and me and Becca would begin to create a bucket list of things to do in Thailand.
“I’m going to get some Pad Thai.” She said. “Oh, and some Som Tum. I hear it’s a great salad.”
“I want to go visit some temples. Do some mediating.” I half-joked.
She laughed. “You are not! You’re so fake deep Harry. You’re going to be in your hotel room, pigging out on junk food and begging me to watch some silly movie.” She joked.
I laughed with her.
“I’m not! I swear. I do want to visit a temple, and I want you to come with me.”
“Alright deal. But you have to take me to the Grand Palace. It’s suppose to be so beautiful.”
“Deal.” I said. “But I don’t even know why I’m getting my hopes up. You’re going to cancel on me. I can feel it.”
“I am not.” She said pretending to be offended. “I’ve been looking up flights and I’m going to book my tickets soon.”
“No you’re not.” I said quickly. “I’m going to get them. Don’t even worry about that.” I said seriously.
She sighed. “Harry I am not going to let you buy my plane tickets.”
“Why not? I’m the reason you’re coming here. It’s only fair.”
“Nooo.” she protested. “I’ll buy my own tickets.”
“Well we won’t debate it. It’s already decided.” I said smiling. “You just make sure you’re there to catch the flight.”
“No, it is not decided. Don’t you dare Harry!” she warned.
I just chuckled, not saying another word. I quickly tried to change the subject.
She wasn’t having it.
“Harry… stop trying to cut me off.” she continued. “You better not buy those tickets. I mean it. Okay?”
I sighed loudly.
I stood up in my hotel room, and went over to my carryon bag.
“Alright.” I said. “You win.”
I pulled out my laptop.
“Cool. Now tell me more about your bucket list.” she said on the other end of the phone.
I smiled as I opened the screen.
“Um…” I said thinking. “I don’t know.”
I clicked on the internet icon and punched in my email.
“Have you ever been to the places?”
“Some of them. I’m actually really excited for the Asian leg.” I said, scanning my inbox. Then, I found what I was looking for.
I clicked the link.
“I want to go to some of their shopping centers. See how they build stuff…oh and some of their markets.”
“M’hmm.” I said.
I scanned the information in front of me. One first class ticket to Bangkok, Thailand. I had purchased the ticket a few days earlier.
“So Becca…” I said checking my confirmation. “Are you sure you want to get your own ticket? They can be pretty expensive.”
“I’m sure.” she said. “I don’t want you to fuss over me.”
I rolled my eyes and closed the link.
I wasn’t going to back down. For now I would let her think she was in control of the situation and we would revisit the conversation in the future.
Truthfully I wouldn’t feel right having her pay for such an expensive ticket--especially since it had been my idea.
She would just have to get over it.
After all, what was wrong with spoiling her a little bit?
I could already tell she deserved it.
“Well we’ll figure all that out later.” I said. “Just promise me you’ll come?”
“I promise.” she said. “I’ll be there.”
I smiled.
“Good.” I said.
I must have been smiling like a complete idiot and I couldn’t figure out why.
My phone beeped at the moment, and I was happy for the distraction to my thoughts.
“Can you hold on a second?” I asked.
“Of course.”
I looked at the caller and saw it was Nadine.
I hadn’t spoke to her all day. I had seen her text messages but had purposely been ignoring them.
We just didn’t have great conversation. Most of the time, we pulled at straws for something to talk about, and always ended up talking about the same things.
I sighed. I knew I needed to take it and attempt conversation. I just really didn’t want too.
“Becca?”
“Hmm?” she asked.
“Can I call you back?” I asked reluctantly.
“Of course.” she said warmly. “I’m going to bed soon so I’ll try calling you when I get up.”
I immediately knew that would probably be difficult. I would be finishing up a show by then and probably miss it.
“No.” I said quickly, making a hasty decision. “Nevermind. We can talk.”
“Really?” she asked.
“Yeah, if you’re not going to sleep?”
“No.” she said. “I’m up for now.”
The phone continued to beep in my ear but I ignored it.
“Well if you have to go-” she began.
“I don’t.” I said. “I want to talk to you.”
And I realized I did.
More and more.
Something was happening between us, and though I didn’t realize it yet, she had me hooked.
And I wasn’t going anywhere.

Notes