All Again

CHAPTER TEN
HARRY
Then
I hadn’t forgotten about Becca and I didn’t grow busy. That second day that we had texted, I purposely held back on returning her message.
In those few hours since she had sent the first message at the airport we had spoke a lot. We had easily sent over a hundred messages between those first twenty-four hours and honestly it freaked me out a little.
I felt like I had connected to her too quickly.
I knew nothing about her from a trust standpoint, but I was telling her information like we had been friends for years. That was dangerous in my profession.
When I woke up that next day to work out, she had been on my mind. I had glanced at the clock waiting for the first chance to text her. By 6am my time, I already had a message composed and sitting in my draft folder waiting to be sent on her first break.
Once I had finally sent the simple ‘Good Afternoon Becca.’ three hours later, I feverishly waited for her to text me back.
I hadn’t lied to her when I said I was with friends and they had watched me with interest as I quickly exchanged messages back and forth with her at my kitchen counter.
“Jeez, slow down Bro. You’ll see Nadine in a few hours.” My best friend Jeff had finally said, teasing me.
Then I stopped.
What exactly was I doing?
I realized quickly that my attention had been on getting to know Becca so much that I hadn’t even sent a text to Nadine all day.
Nadine was far from being my serious girlfriend, but we had a casual thing at this point and we were sleeping together. It was almost an obligation that I should have texted her first.
I quickly switched tactics and texted Nadine instead. She was flying in to me that day for my upcoming birthday party and so we could spend my last few free days together.
She was the only one my attention needed to be on.
So I didn’t text Becca back. And it killed me.
Nadine liked to text and she was quick. She had a thing about sending cute little emojis and sending quotes that made her think of me.
She truly was a sweet girl, but on that second day, I didn’t want to talk to her.
The conversation was forced and I was slower to reply to her.
I wanted to talk to Becca.
So much that in between conversations with Nadine, I would scroll through the conversation I had with her.
Becca was quite interesting and she was funny.
She had a quirky sense of humor and we mirrored each other well.
I think that was why I had asked for her number. I saw that early.
She was also very easy on the eyes.
Very easy.
I had noticed that in New York.
She was very natural in the way she carried herself but she was so beautiful that I felt makeup would have ruined her.
She was already a perfect picture and didn’t need any of the added filters.
I tried to remember the small details, but none came to mind. I had held myself back from staring at her in the times I had seen her so I couldn’t exactly remember everything, but what I could had completely intrigued me. I remembered she had beautiful hazel eyes, thick wavy hair and a really nice smile. I also liked her voice as weird as that sounded. It was sweet and innocent.
So early on I decided I needed a distraction. I needed to be kept busy so my hands didn’t find the way into our conversation. If I thought about those eyes and her humor, I would surely text her.
I kept looking over her last sentence about getting a passport, I will one day. I’m sure I don’t need it anytime soon.
I had so many responses and follow up questions but I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t have said bye either, because then there was the risk she would have written me later. I needed to appear busy and unavailable to her so she would leave me alone.
So.
I went shopping.
I left Jeff’s house and headed to some shops to browse some clothes. It was the last thing I needed (especially since most of my clothes were donated from high end retailers for free)
Plus, it only lasted for so long. Shortly after six, I got a text from Nadine saying her plane had landed and she was on her way to her hotel.
I knew what was expected of me.
I needed to make an appearance and go to her.
By then I was in Paige- a store that specialized in the pants I frequently wore.
I quickly rang up my items-more pants- and headed to my car.
On the way I was papped for the second time that day, but I didn’t care.
My only concern was that Becca wouldn’t come across the pictures.
She didn’t seem like the type to Google me or follow my every move, and I hoped she wasn’t. I didn’t need her thinking I was blowing her off for some clothes.
I quickly climbed in my vintage white Mercedes and sent Nadine a quick text.
*K. I’ll see you soon. x.*
She texted me another one of those emoticons, this time the kissy face, and I put my car in gear.
I listened to the radio and drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. By now Becca had probably eaten dinner and finished all of her classes for the day. I wasn’t sure and I hadn’t asked for many details of her schedule foolishly.
I looked at the clock on my dash. It was 6:48pm and I figured enough time had gone by. It had been eight hours.
I waited until I arrived at a stoplight and sent a quick message to Becca.
*Hey. Sorry for the delay. There has been a lot going on. How are you?*
But then I deleted it.
That sounded so stupid.
Really Harry, a lot had been going on…
And what exactly would be my excuse for not even texting and saying that?
No, definitely not.
I would have to come up with something better.
I threw my phone on the seat beside me, frustrated, because I had no clue what that was. Too much time had passed and I needed to come up with something that was reasonable for the huge time gap. After all, she was three hours ahead of me and it was now 9pm where she was. I hadn’t talked to her since 1pm-her time.
I could have always lied and said it was my job, but it just didn’t feel right lying to her and then who knew if she would see the pictures. I drummed my hands again. I was anxious and I didn’t like the feeling. I had a bad habit of over-thinking things and it always screwed me up.
When I arrived home a half hour later, I quickly discarded my clothes and hopped in the shower. I let the hot water roll on my face and I again, went over excuses in my head.
Then, finally I said fuck it.
I was worrying way too much.
I hadn’t even known this girl a week.
I quickly climbed out of the shower and dried off, wrapping the towel around my hip. I tied it to make sure it didn’t move then moved to my bedroom to retrieve my phone.
I unlocked the screen with my passcode, and immediately the screen came to life.
I had been looking at Becca’s message before the shower so it opened right to her.
I quickly duplicated my previous erased message and hit send before I could talk myself out of it. Then I headed back in the bathroom to finish getting dressed.
I moved through my actions quickly and threw on what was near.
I was positive I wouldn’t be photographed anymore so I could care less about my appearance. My clothes were probably going to just come off anyway.
After I dressed, I finally returned to my cell phone and saw I had a new text notification.
Becca.
I punched in my passcode so fast and opened the screen, but she hadn’t texted me back. It was Nadine.
*Hey sweetie, you on your way?*
I ignored her message for the moment and went back to my main messages making sure I hadn’t missed anything.
I didn’t.
Becca hadn’t texted me back.
Hmm.
I looked at the clock in my bedroom and saw that it was now close to 8pm, which meant it was close to 11pm where she was.
She’s sleep!
Of course.
I smiled to myself satisfied with my calculation. Why wouldn’t she be sleep? She was a twenty year old college student who probably had classes in the morning!
I quickly scrolled back to Nadine’s message and answered.
*Yup. Be there in a bit*
I tucked my phone in my pocket and turned off the lights in my bedroom.
I mentally reminded myself that I needed to text my Mum before I went to sleep and then I was gone, headed to Nadine’s.
“You smell wonderful.” She said when I finally arrived at the hotel an hour later.
I had been delayed by traffic.
“You look wonderful.” I said taking in her appearance.
She was very natural too and I’ll admit, it was something I found extremely sexy. There was nothing sexier than a woman who was comfortable in her own skin.
I think that was why I liked models. They had a natural beauty and were often photographed without much makeup on.
My eyes scrolled her body. She was tall like me and lean. A swimsuit and lingerie model, I was very proud of her body. Though, right now, it was covered in a long white shirt that she had paired with some leggings.
“I missed you.” She said pulling me in her arms.
She smelled like melons and soap.
We shared a soft kiss.
“I missed you too.” I said.
We hadn’t seen each other in a week and I had missed her but to be honest, I hadn’t been consumed with it. I had a lot of other stuff on my mind obviously.
“So what did you do today?” she asked wrapping her arms around my neck.
She was from Austria so she had a distinct accent as well. Sometimes it annoyed me, other times, I found it extremely sexy. Today, and right now, it annoyed me a little.
I had something else on my mind.
I shrugged and smiled. “Little this, little that.”
She chuckled, obviously finding my comment adorable and kissed me again.
Girls. I would never understand them.
After the kiss, I pulled away slightly and sat on her bed.
She instantly intensified the situation and sat on my lap.
Her lips found their way to mine again, and eventually she began to trail kisses down my neck.
With her weight on me, I was pressed further into the bed, and my phone, which was still in my back pocket pressed against me.
“Wait a second.” I said moving her lightly and digging my phone out.
I began to push it to the side when I saw a light signaling a new notification. I had gotten a text message.
Becca!
I began to type in my passcode, and Nadine grabbed the phone and threw it on the other side of the bed.
“Nope. Not tonight.” she said with a smile.
I bit my tongue as to not say what I wanted to say. After all, who did she think she was?
She leaned to kiss me again but I gently pushed her away.
“It could be work.” I said already reaching for my phone.
Nadine sighed. “I know but I just miss you.” She purred. “I can’t get enough of you.”
I ignored her.
We had only been ‘dating’ for three months. We weren’t that significant in each other’s lives yet.
We most certainly could get enough of each other.
“Can’t you turn that thing off?” she asked softly.
I continued to ignore her and re-entered my passcode. I quickly went to my messages. I sighed in frustration. It wasn’t Becca. It was Niall; my bandmate.
I looked back at her bluish-grey eyes.
“Is it work?” Nadine asked reading my face.
“Nope.” I said throwing the phone back on the bed. She ran her hands through my hair. “Where were we?” I asked with a sigh.
“Here.“ she said leaning down to kiss me and then she quickly reminded me.
*****************************
I awoke the next morning early to find Nadine lying on my chest; her blond hair sprawled completely over me.
Now I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but I wasn’t one of those guys.
I loved to cuddle and I loved to have someone to hold, but when I was sleeping, I hated that shit.
It was too invasive to my personal space. There needed to be some point at night where I found my side of the bed, and they did too.
This was the fifth time I spent the night with her and she still had yet to grasp that concept.
I shifted underneath her and tried to slide away.
She grabbed on tighter.
“Hey?” I mumbled.
“Hey.” She said cuddling against me, her voice thick with sleep. Her legs entwined with me further.
Was she kidding?
“Um…I need to go.” I said.
“What?” she said though her accent made the pronunciation sound different.
I guessed the accent was still annoying me.
“I need to get up.” I said a little louder. “I need the bathroom.” I said.
“Oh.” She said and slid off of me reluctantly.
Once she found her side, I slid out of the bed, grabbed my boxer briefs and headed for the bathroom. When I got inside, I did use the restroom but then I decided to wash up. I had brought a travelers bag with me but had left it in the other room.
I headed out to the bedroom where Nadine was resting. Her eyes were closed but I didn’t think she was back sleep.
Either way, I was quiet and grabbed my phone off the mantle in the process.
When I was secure back in the bathroom, I pulled the hair tie out of my hair and let my hair flow free. I spent a few seconds shaking it out and running my hands through it since it was tangled.
It was resting at my shoulders now and I couldn’t imagine it getting any longer. It was already starting to become a bit much but we would see. I hadn’t cut it in a few months and was considering donating it to charity.
I looked down at my phone, and once more it was flashing a notification. I had five new text messages.
I quickly went through them reading each message. It was my Mum, Sister, Niall for a second time, my personal assistant and Jeff. That was it.
I looked at the time on my cell phone. It was a little after seven. Becca had to be up. It was ten where she was.
Now I was a little worried. Had I pissed her off in some way?
Was she irritated with me?
I sighed.
I should have just texted her back when I wanted too.
I contemplated quickly sending her a ‘Good Morning’ text then decided against it. Today was really not the day to get caught up with Becca and the ‘should I, shouldn’t I text’ game.
It was the day before my twenty-first birthday and tonight I was having a party. That needed to be my only focus for the day.
I sent follow up texts to everyone and a few more to some friends that were flying into town tonight and then I got dressed.
By the time I left the bathroom, Nadine was up and stretching.
“Hey you.” She said warmly.
“Hey.” I said matching her smile.
She climbed out of the bed, naked, and walked past me to the bathroom.
I admired her body once more.
She was a Victoria’s Secret model and I guess she had no secrets.
I set my bag down and called to her.
“Are you hungry?” I asked looking at the room service menu.
“A little.” She called back. “Order something!”
I looked at the menu browsing our options when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
Another damn text message notification.
I didn’t even get excited this time. I had literally sent twelve messages in the bathroom so it was bound to be a reply.
I barely glanced at my phone as I pulled it out of my pocket.
“You want something heavy or light?” I called to Nadine while I still looked at the menu.
“Surprise me!” she said.
“Well that’s helpful…” I mumbled and unlocked my phone.
I was thinking a muffin and some orange juice. Then again, I probably would be severely drunk before the night ended and would need heavier stuff in my stomach.
“I think I’m going to get pancakes.” I said as I went to my message screen.
Then I saw it. Becca was at the top of my messages.
She had wrote me back.
I quickly opened the message.
*Good Morning Harry! I figured it was something like that. I understand being busy. Don’t worry about it. At least you warned me right. Lol. *
I instantly smiled.
There she was!
I placed the menu down and quickly typed a response.
*I did. But I am sorry. How did you sleep?*
Her response came in seconds.
*Great! You?*
I thought back to my night. The sex had been good, but the morning after wasn’t going so great in my opinion. I was anxious to get back to my house and get ready for the party later.
*I slept okay. What’s on your schedule for today?* I asked.
*I’m not sure.* She said quickly. *No classes so probably just hang out around campus. I know. I’m boring.*
I smiled again.
*Not at all. Did you go out last night though?*
*I did actually.* She said. *It was really fun.*
I felt something move through me. If she had gone out, then that meant she hadn’t been sleep, which meant she had ignored me purposely last night.
*Oh cool.* I said. But it wasn’t. I didn’t think it was cool at all. *Well I hope you have a good day.* I wrote unexpectedly.
I wasn’t that excited to talk to her anymore and wanted to just get off the phone.
*I will! You too. What are your plans today?*
I didn’t tell the truth, but I didn’t lie either.
*Way too much to say. It’s going to be a busy day lol.*
*Oh wow. Well, have fun. Maybe I’ll text you later.* She said.
It dawned on me that she was now the one ending the conversation.
When had that happened?
*Cool.* I said simply. *We’ll talk soon.*
She didn’t text me back.
I stood frozen for a few seconds.
Well that had taken a turn quickly.
I had spent most of yesterday wanting to talk to her, and now that we had the opportunity to talk, we weren’t.
I could already sense that this whole situation with this girl was going to be slightly different than my past.
I had been friendly with fans before and even had talked to a few regularly, but the interaction always died out quickly. It either became too much too soon, or they quickly realized the fantasy of me was much more exciting than the real thing.
I could be a pretty boring guy and I still didn’t get why thousands of girls proclaimed to be in love with me. Some of them quickly didn’t understand either and we never spoke again.
“Did you order?” I suddenly heard called out.
“Uh no.” I answered. I picked the menu back up. “What did you want again?”
“Just surprise me.” She repeated.
Oh yeah.
As if I could read minds.
“I’m going to get you a muffin.” I said finally.
“Sounds good babe!” she said.
I placed the menu down and headed for the hotel phone.
Sitting down, I quickly placed our orders and Nadine emerged from the bathroom, refreshed and dressed.
She took a seat next to me. Close. And placed her hand on my thigh.
“What’s up?” I asked turning to her.
“Nothing.” She said and smiled.
I just looked back at her. I didn’t get why she was glued to my hip suddenly.
She kissed my shoulder. “What did you get?”
“Um pancakes.”
Then she hit my shoulder. “Why didn’t you get that for me! That sounds good.”
I looked at her body and scanned.
“Don’t you have a shoot in a few days?” I reminded her.
“Don’t you have a tour next week?” she teased.
I smiled. She had a good point. I placed my hand back on the receiver.
“Fine. I’ll order more pancakes.”
“Now you’re talking!” she said and grinned.
I turned back to the phone and began to dial down to the front desk again.
Nadine didn’t move.
When they answered, I quickly asked for the kitchen.
Nadine still didn’t move.
I quickly revised my order and ordered the pancakes.
Nadine. Still. Didn’t. Move.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Can you do me a favor?” I asked still cradling the phone.
“What?” she asked.
“Can you look in my bag and grab my charger?”
“Sure.”
She headed over to my bag and I took the opportunity to stand up and create my space I needed.
She came back over and sat on the bed in her previous spot, but I didn’t move. For a while I would stand.
I finished up on the phone, listening to the order be repeated when my cell phone buzzed on the bed.
Nadine instantly picked it up to see who was texting me.
“It’s Cam Azoff.” She announced.
I just stared back at her.
What made her think she could just look at my phone?
I was reminded of her antics last night as well.
There was a thing called boundaries and she obviously didn‘t understand them.
I suddenly thought maybe it was time for a talk. We needed to first address our sleeping situation and then from there, I had other things to say.
But then I really looked at her.
She was completely innocent as she held my phone out to me.
She was smiling widely at me and I could tell she didn’t mean any harm.
It dawned on me that she liked me and was just trying to be helpful.
I tried to relax.
After all, I was just overreacting.
Besides, we weren’t married. If I needed space, I could still find it.
Turning from her quickly, I finished up the call and she placed my phone on the bed.
“How long?” she asked.
I leaned and grabbed the phone after her.
“Not long.” I said. “I’ve got to go make some calls.” I said waving my phone.
“Sure.” She said. She stood. “Me too.”
She went over to her cell phone and I headed out of the room.
I heard her call my name but I ignored her.
She was suffocating me and right now was the perfect time to get some space, if only for a few minutes.
I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just needed some time to myself. It was the way I was wired.
I sat down on the couch in the other room and sent some quick follow up text messages. They had been steadily pouring in from management, reminding me of things for the upcoming week and my friends, excited for the evening.
It was going to be a good time and I had been waiting on it for a while.
I could use a good party.
As the thought crossed my mind, Becca did as well.
I thought of the previous night and the party she had went too.
I wondered what she was like when she went out. Was she loud and boisterous or was shy and reserved?
Did she dance?
Was she flirty?
Was she the first one to leave or did she have to practically get dragged out of the club?
It was a bit premature thinking since I didn’t know what she was like in any social setting really. I hadn’t even known her for a week.
Still, it felt like so much longer for some reason.
I found myself opening her text messages and scrolling through them quickly again.
Nothing had changed, and they weren’t that interesting the third time around but I kept scrolling. And I kept reading.
And I realized, just a teeny little bit, that maybe I already missed her.
Well...
Not her per say. But I did miss talking to her.
Then I started thinking…
Did she maybe miss talking to me too?
Was I on her mind?
She seemed pretty anxious to get me off the phone and I didn’t know her well enough to read her yet.
I decided I would give her some time and then later, I would shoot her a casual message.
That would be best.
That way the line of communication was open, but we weren’t being too forward with each other or expecting too much.
I chuckled to myself.
Woah Harry. Calm down.
I didn’t even know if she thought I was attractive and here I was worried about us being too forward.
We were barely friends at this point.
I needed to stop thinking about her and I needed to focus on my party.
She would hear from me when she would hear from me.
I was done overcomplicating this whole thing.
Hell, I probably wouldn’t even know her in three months.

Notes