Forget To Remember Me
Flashbacks...
Harry's POV:
*A few hours later*
She's gone.
Annabelle Hunt was killed by the unbeatable monster they call cancer at 3:04 am.
After that night we rushed to the hospital only to find there was nothing they could do. Louis has been the worst, but all of us are wrecks. That night was a blur that I can only remember flashes of. I know Louis texted us all and we drove to the hospital as fast as possible, but after that...
I don't know.
I guess I'll say what I remember...
FLASHBACK :
I am sitting at home just watching some TV. I was just flipping through channels when I got a text from Louis. I knew that he had that date with Belle for the night so when he texted me, I could sense something may have gone wrong with what he planned. I looked at his text and froze in place. Belle co- collapsed? OH MY GOD! I sprang up out of my chair and ran to get my keys. I got into my car and texted back Louis saying that I was on my way and I asked what had happened. I got to the hospital in about 5 minutes and just sat in my car. I didn't know what was going on and I didn't know what to do. All of these questions were roaming around in my brain and I couldn't keep track of them all. Will she be okay? Is Louis alright? Do the rest of the boys know? And the most important question that seemed to just relapse in my brain like a broken record was...
Will Annabelle die tonight?
I shook that thought out of my brain and looked out my windows to see if the boys were around.. finally I saw them and ran outside to them.
"LOUIS! I yelled. "Are you okay?!"
He replied with a "no" and tears streaming down his broken face.
The other boys then pounced on Louis with reassurances and questions about the only girl that means so much to us. Annabelle. Soon after I let Louis tell us what had happened on their date, I spoke up,
" Why do things like this have to happen? " while running my shaking hand through my hair.
The boys told me that it had to happen to somebody and that it was out of our control. Then, me and the boys just stood outside of the hospital for what seemed like hours. Soon enough, I looked through the front door and saw a bunch of doctors take a girl who looked a lot like our Annabelle into another room.
"Oh my god guys.. Look! " I pointed at the door. " That's got to be her guys! Lets go!" I then ran inside, not even looking back to see if the boys were following.
We ran inside and followed the doctors into the hallway where they were taking her. I called out to them asking if we could see her. The doctor just looked at me with somber eyes and they didn't even have to answer for me to know what they meant. I couldn't go see her. We all had to wait and wait and wait until the nerve racking moment of the doctors coming out to see you which I thought only existed in movies. Now I know how that's going to feel. The gut-wrenching feeling of the worst possible outcome. The desire to just sit and stare at the opposite wall and just go to your own little world where there is no more hurting.. and no more pain. I don't think I could do that, but Liam took my shoulder and dragged me back to the room. I have no choice now. A few minutes later, A doctor came out to us. He walked right over to me and said, "Are you Mr. Harry Styles?"
I just nodded. "Come with me." he ordered. I followed him down the hallway. I turned back around to the boys and they had the same expression on my face..: Confusion. I was led to a room with the door closed. I knew that Annabelle was inside. I was so hopeful that I just pushed open the door and stopped once inside. I saw her. I saw Annabelle on the opposite side of the room. She was beautiful even though others might not think so. I ran over to her and engulfed her in a giant hug. We sat like that for a while before she pulled away. "Harry.." she started off. "I need to tell you something. I have to. I only have about 5 more hours before I leave... forever. I need you to promise me that you will take care of the boys. I know you and you are a lot stronger than you let on. I love you Harry. You are my best friend. Just please do this for me. It would be a whole lot easier for both of us." she told me. I just nodded quickly and just hugged her again. I wouldn't let go until the doctor came in to get me. She let go of me and touched my arm. "I'll always be here. Just think that I took a permenate vacation. I never would leave you. Stay strong for my boys." she told me. She let go and and I then followed the doctor back out into the waiting room. As soon as I saw the boys again I went over to Liam. I was asked a lot of questions, but it's better for them to find out on their own from Belle. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "It's your turn now."
I then sat back down and said nothing.
END FLASHBACK
Liam's POV:
Me and the boys are sitting in the waiting room now. I do not know why they have these here. If the purpose is to make you go over the edge until you want to rip the chair arm off because of how tight you're squeezing it then... they have done their job. Trust me, I'm not the only one who feels the same. As I look around the room, I see each and everyone of their faces just as broken as mine probably looks. If we knew that we would meet a girl who means this a lot to us and also makes us hurt just as much... we would have never believed it or we would have walked away. Now though... its reality and just like everyone says... you NEVER want to be in reality. I don't know about anyone else, but I just can't remember all of the events from the time we went into the hospital.. to now... the end. I guess its because of all the thoughts that just kept assaulting my brain. I couldn't think straight and I'm pretty sure that the reasons for the fuzzy spots in my memory is true.
I'll try to see what I remember...
FLASHBACK:
While I was in the waiting room just pacing the floor, not daring to look at any of the boys faces because if I did.. I would break down and sob to death from all the pain. Annabelle is my best friend.. and when she left with Louis I thought she would have been happy. I thought that they would have realized the fact that they love each other and would stay strong and fight for as long as she had left.. I did not know that she wouldn't even get to SAY how she felt! Louis was left hanging and Belle was forced back from love by the demon called Cancer. I paced the room some more until I saw Harry come back over to us. I snapped my head up and immediatly analyzed his face to see if it would give me a clue of what went on in there. His expression was unreadable so I had no chance of putting the pieces together. He came over and stopped right in front of me.
"It's your turn." he told me. I just nodded my head because I was in no mood to talk right now and I think understood that. He just looked at me and touched my arm. I got up and led myself away from the boys. My heart skipped a beat with hope. Why would I be told to see her if she was... gone? I opened the door and walked inside step by step. My heart was racing and my palms were sweating from my subconcious mind's thoughts on what she would look like. I then hesitantly looked inside and saw the girl who started it all.. Annabelle staring right back at me. I couldn't look at her for more than a second before my body and feelings had a mind of their own. I lunged for her and ever so gently wrapped my arms around her and just sobbed. I couldn't help it. She meant so much to me.. to us and I just refused to let go of her. I heard her laugh and felt her touch my face with her two hands so I was forced to look at her. She had her hair in a braid and her face was very pale with dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted, but she seemed just like her old self.
" Liam, hey.. look at me." she ordered and I did what I was told. " How are you? Are you boys holding up okay in there?" she asked me.
" You have no idea Belle. We are all wrecks out there and we don't know what to do. Louis told us what happened to you, but we all just couldn't process the thought of how sudden this was." I saw her flinch when I said Louis and that right there told me that she did feel something for him, but probably felt too much emotional stress to even think about it. Belle took her hands off my face and replaced them onto my hands. "Liam, I have to tell you something. I hope you have been expecting the worst because I think its going to get a little more horrible. The doctor came in before you and told me that I only have an approximate time of 4 hours to live. The doctor is bringing you in one by one so I can say my goodbyes... I'm so sorry Liam.. for everything." she told me with concerned and softened eyes. The opposite of me. I jumped up and paced around the floor again. "You've got to be kidding me Belle. When the doctor took me in here, I thought that you were okay! I gave myself false hope even though I pictured the worst about 8 times in my head before! I knew I shouldn't have done that! I would have been hurt less than I am right now! " I yelled while I leaned on the wall opposite her bed, sliding down it before I felt the ground below me. I looked up at her and saw that she wasn't crying or even talking. " How can you be so calm about this Belle? Am I being stupid for blowing up like this?" I asked in a softer voice.
"No sweetie...no. I have expected this for 3 years and I learned to accept it. I knew that this had to happen to somebody and even though I was unlucky to have this forced upon me, I still took it in and let it run its course. Believe me Liam, I took it a lot worse than you did when I first found out. I was throwing things, screaming, crying uncontrollably and I didn't know how to stop. Come here." she told me. I got up from the ground and sat back down on the side of her bed. "You will do great in this life Liam. You make millions of people happy in minutes and you need to keep that up. Don't let me or what happens to me bring you down, or keep you from living your life. You know that it would be the last thing that I would want you to do. Any of you boys to do. So listen. You are going to grow up, have a nice girlfriend who will then turn into your wife. You will have lots of children and a family that you can call your own. I will always be with you Liam. Do not forget that.." she ended. She kissed my cheek as new tears rolled down my sunken face. I knew that this was goodbye and I was actually okay with it. I got to see her one last time and that's all that mattered. Right on cue, the doctor came in. I got up from her bed. Kissed her forehead one last time and walked back outside the room. I was angry. I really was, but I knew that I couldn't let that run my life. So from that, I walked back into the waiting room ignoring everyone's questions with a simple, "you'll find out soon enough" and tapped Niall on the shoulder.
It was his turn...
END FLASHBACK
Niall's POV:
I'm here with the boys after we heard the news of Annabelle's death . I guess I could say that I'm not as angry or resentful as everyone else. I was mostly just numb. All I wanted was to see her and even though we all got that wish, it still didn't take the pain away. That would come in time. I can only remember so much of what has happened these last few hours.
Guess I'll say what I remember...
FLASHBACK:
After Liam left with the doctor, me and the boys were just as confused as the rest of them probably were. After he left, I finally talked in what seemed like forever. " Where is he going? Where is he taking him?" I asked. Harry spoke up next. "I have no idea. Do you think that she's okay and just wants to see us?" he asked hopefully. Surprisingly Louis spoke next. "No. Don't get your hopes up. If you do, then I will, and when we find out that it was all for nothing, I'll become even more broken than I already am now." he said while silent tears rolled down his rosy cheeks. He was staring at the floor. Has been doing that since we came in here. We all were worried about him and what he might do, but it was best to let his pain run its course so he can learn to heal. I think of it like a band aid. Louis was hurt in the first place, Annabelle was the band aid and now he had to rip in off while he hurt more than he did before the band aid was taken away. We didn't know what to say to his statement so we just went back to what we did best in this situation:
Waiting.
Soon enough, when I put my head up to look around, I saw Liam walking back to us. He had a small smile on his face and dry tears were seen on his cheeks. He walked back to us and while the other boys bombarded his with questions, he just replied with "You'll find out soon enough" The boys took in what he said and sat back down. Then, Liam came over to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He pointed to the doctor that took him first and looked back at me. I guess it was my turn now... I stood up and walked over to the doctor and let him lead me to our Annabelle.
After I walked into the door and saw the doctor walk back outside to shut the door, I finally saw Annabelle. Even though she had cancer and if you loved her enough, she would look just like her old self. I walked up to her and hugged her tightly. She held on to me just as tight for a few minutes before letting go. I kneeled down in front of her and said, " How are you princess?"
"I'm doing suprisingly okay for this type of situation." she laughed. Oh how I would miss that. She looked up at the clock next to us and her face changed. It wasn't exactly happy anymore. "What Belle?" I asked. She looked at me with her big tear -stained eyes.
"Niall, I'm so sorry to have to say this, but the reason you were called in here was because of how much time I have left. I only have approximately 3 more hours before I go. You boys are coming in here alone so I can say my goodbyes. I love you Niall and I'm so sorry." she told me while she put her head down. I put my hand under her chin so she would look at me. " Belle. You are an amazing girl. You have fought long and hard for this and didn't let the cancer take away every single moment of happiness away from you. To me, you shouldn't be saying sorry. You are a hero to me and you always will be. If I had the strength and courage like you do, I would feel like there is nothing I couldn't do. You should feel the same." I told her. She reached down and hugged me tightly again while whispering, "I love you Niall, I hope you find your princess soon." We stayed there for a few moments longer and I let go. I walked back to the door, looked at her face one last time, and walked out. I went down the hallway and back out to the original room we were in. I then tapped Zayn on the shoulder, just like Liam did. He looked at me, but knew what to do. He stood up and walked down the hallway.
Zayn's turn now...
END FLASHBACK
Zayn's POV:
I just can't believe it. I cannot believe she's gone. She meant everything to us and I just cannot leave her! I think I'm in third place of the "Taking It the Hardest" competition right behind Harry and Louis. I can't sit still and I can't believe how many tears I can produce without stopping. I know all of us boys will stick together and be okay down the road, but all I want to do is just wallow in my self-pity as bad as that sounds. I'm remeniscing a few hours ago when I last saw Annabelle Hunt.
Here is what I remember...
FLASHBACK:
I saw Niall leave a few moments ago and so far I have done nothing, but sulk. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm hopeful. I'm being pulled every which way by every emotion, I feel like my hearts going to explode into a million tiny, shattered pieces. I tried not to concentrate on that and then I saw a familiar face walk back to us. It was Niall. His expression was unreadable. He walked over to us and tapped me on the shoulder, just like Liam did to Niall. I knew what was happening, but at the same time I felt like I wasn't ready to see her one last time like this. I sucked it up and got up anyway. I walked down the hallway and into the door where Belle was. When I walked in, I saw her. Really saw her. She wasn't kidding when she said that cancer can really tare you apart. Right off the bat she started talking. "Come over here Zayn. I need to tell you something important." I obeyed. I sat on the edge of her bed and she took my hands in hers. " Zayn, I've had to say this over and over again to Liam,Niall, and Harry and even though I don't want to say this, I have to. I only have about an hour before I go. You were brought in here one by one so I could say goodbye to you in private. I-" I didn't let her finish. That was all she needed to say before I hugged her with so much force, I felt like I was going to break her. I cried. I really cried while she just watched me. I didn't know how she could be that strong to not even show her feelings of how she will be DEAD in an hour! Another reason why she made all of us fall in love with her. One more than platonic, but I can see what Louis saw in her. She could make him into the person he's always wanted to be. She could get him to open up, but also be his fun loving self at the same time. I can't even imagine how he feels right now. He's probably on the verge of bursting any second. I then let go of her and just stared at her. We did that for what seemed like forever and a day. Then, I got the sense that since Louis needed the most time with her, I should leave. I got up and walked through the door. Before that though, I whispered a little "I love you Bells" to her. Then I did what the rest of the boys did: walked back out and finally tapped Louis on the shoulder. I sat back down in my chair and just stared at the ground.
There wasn't anything more that I could do...
END FLASHBACK
Louis' POV:
I can't stand this! I just CAN'T! This is agony! The boys and Belle were the only things I had left! I lost one of them. What makes it worse is that she collapsed right in front of me and I was this helpless little thing that could do nothing to stop her pain. I loved her. I still do. When I last saw her... I- I don't know. I can't think straight now. It hurts too much. I lost the only thing that could make me feel the way I did. The girl who could make me into the person that I always tried to be. A protector for her, a lover, and I was even thinking of husband. I loved her that much to think about marrying her. Now its all gone. I don't know how long people hurt like this, but I don't know how they do it. How they can cope with the pain of losing the one thing that mattered most to them? I know I'll be okay later on in life, but in this moment now, all I can think about is all of the things we missed out on. For one, I wouldn't be able to call her mine. I wouldn't even be able to protect her from anything that she didn't like. I couldn't buy her flowers every once in a while because I felt like it. I wouldn't even be able to see her walk down the aisle, or have children that we would both love forever and always because that's what a real family is like. I could go on and on, but my thoughts were too big of a mess to even try. All I know is that I love her and that's all that matters. That brings me back to a few hours ago. ..after Zayn brought me to her. ..my last visit to the girl I love...
FLASHBACK:
After Zayn got me, I didn't even give him a chance to say anything. I just sprang up and sprinted to her room. I pushed the door open and as soon as I saw her... I broke down. I went over to her bed, swallowed her in a hug and cried. I heard her trying to calm me down, but I just couldn't. Spending all that time in the waiting room, trying to suppress all the feelings that I had just vanished with one look at her. After I calmed down she told me to come up on the bed. I climbed in next to her and just held her in my arms. That was the closest I could get to what I wanted. "Lou.." she finally said.
"Yes?" I asked back.
" I think you know why you are in here. I only have 10 minutes tops to say my goodbyes and to tell you what I've tried so hard to say. Listen to me. " she looked at me and took a deep breath. "I love you." My heart literally stopped. She what?! "I know that it probably has no more meaning to you since I can't stay any longer, but ever since we made up a few years back, all the hate I had for you was substituted with love. How well we got along and how close we could be with each other made me realize that you weren't just a best friend to me like Harry, and the other boys are. You are so much more than that. I just wanted you to know that you mean the world to me and even though you may ha-" I cut her off. I couldn't just sit here and listen to her tell me that she loved me when I could be doing something that would both satisfy our feelings...
I kissed her.
Never in my life had I felt something quite like this. It was warm, it was sweet, and it was with the person who I needed most. I picked up my hand and placed it on her cheek. I caressed it with my thumb. I just wanted to stay like this forever. If only life was that easy. I felt her arms come up over my neck and pull me closer. We both smiled into the kiss. Soon enough though, she pulled away. We were both breathless and glowing. "Sorry, but I just needed to do that" I said with a little laugh. She joined in and I hugged her. After we pulled away, she then started talking again. "Lou, I never really told anybody this, but you are too important." My heart raced again. "When I was a little girl, I was obsessed with growing up. I wanted to be just like my parents. I wanted to go to school, I wanted to travel to exotic places and find love along the way. I wanted to get married and have kids. The first thought that popped into my brain when I found out about my cancer was the fact that I couldn't have any of it. I wouldn't be able to have a loving husband who I would stick with through every little thing. I wouldn't be able to have a little boy and girl who I could hold in my arms when they're upset or chase away the bad dreams in the middle of the night when they were scared. I wouldn't be able to have a job and travel to the places that I really wanted to. If I knew as a kid that I would be deprived of all of that, I would have made the most of the time I had left. Sadly, I am left here to let everyone I love have what I didn't and surprisingly, I'm okay with that. As long as I know that some person who I care deeply about can have all the experiences that I wanted for me, then that's all I need. My life can end in happiness because right now, I have 5 people who will. I have a person who loves me so that's one experience out of the way. Yeah, I won't have marriage or children, but I don't need it. Just listen to me though. You are going to find someone who is right for you Louis. You will find your way to another love even though ours was cut short. You will have fun with your job and with your friends, and you will have children who you can take care of and protect. Don't let my cause bring you down. If you love me, you will promise me that and one more thing." she stopped for a second and tried to catch her breath as it became uneven. "Promise me this before I go...
"Forget to remember me....."
Flatline.....
*A few hours later*
She's gone.
Annabelle Hunt was killed by the unbeatable monster they call cancer at 3:04 am.
After that night we rushed to the hospital only to find there was nothing they could do. Louis has been the worst, but all of us are wrecks. That night was a blur that I can only remember flashes of. I know Louis texted us all and we drove to the hospital as fast as possible, but after that...
I don't know.
I guess I'll say what I remember...
FLASHBACK :
I am sitting at home just watching some TV. I was just flipping through channels when I got a text from Louis. I knew that he had that date with Belle for the night so when he texted me, I could sense something may have gone wrong with what he planned. I looked at his text and froze in place. Belle co- collapsed? OH MY GOD! I sprang up out of my chair and ran to get my keys. I got into my car and texted back Louis saying that I was on my way and I asked what had happened. I got to the hospital in about 5 minutes and just sat in my car. I didn't know what was going on and I didn't know what to do. All of these questions were roaming around in my brain and I couldn't keep track of them all. Will she be okay? Is Louis alright? Do the rest of the boys know? And the most important question that seemed to just relapse in my brain like a broken record was...
Will Annabelle die tonight?
I shook that thought out of my brain and looked out my windows to see if the boys were around.. finally I saw them and ran outside to them.
"LOUIS! I yelled. "Are you okay?!"
He replied with a "no" and tears streaming down his broken face.
The other boys then pounced on Louis with reassurances and questions about the only girl that means so much to us. Annabelle. Soon after I let Louis tell us what had happened on their date, I spoke up,
" Why do things like this have to happen? " while running my shaking hand through my hair.
The boys told me that it had to happen to somebody and that it was out of our control. Then, me and the boys just stood outside of the hospital for what seemed like hours. Soon enough, I looked through the front door and saw a bunch of doctors take a girl who looked a lot like our Annabelle into another room.
"Oh my god guys.. Look! " I pointed at the door. " That's got to be her guys! Lets go!" I then ran inside, not even looking back to see if the boys were following.
We ran inside and followed the doctors into the hallway where they were taking her. I called out to them asking if we could see her. The doctor just looked at me with somber eyes and they didn't even have to answer for me to know what they meant. I couldn't go see her. We all had to wait and wait and wait until the nerve racking moment of the doctors coming out to see you which I thought only existed in movies. Now I know how that's going to feel. The gut-wrenching feeling of the worst possible outcome. The desire to just sit and stare at the opposite wall and just go to your own little world where there is no more hurting.. and no more pain. I don't think I could do that, but Liam took my shoulder and dragged me back to the room. I have no choice now. A few minutes later, A doctor came out to us. He walked right over to me and said, "Are you Mr. Harry Styles?"
I just nodded. "Come with me." he ordered. I followed him down the hallway. I turned back around to the boys and they had the same expression on my face..: Confusion. I was led to a room with the door closed. I knew that Annabelle was inside. I was so hopeful that I just pushed open the door and stopped once inside. I saw her. I saw Annabelle on the opposite side of the room. She was beautiful even though others might not think so. I ran over to her and engulfed her in a giant hug. We sat like that for a while before she pulled away. "Harry.." she started off. "I need to tell you something. I have to. I only have about 5 more hours before I leave... forever. I need you to promise me that you will take care of the boys. I know you and you are a lot stronger than you let on. I love you Harry. You are my best friend. Just please do this for me. It would be a whole lot easier for both of us." she told me. I just nodded quickly and just hugged her again. I wouldn't let go until the doctor came in to get me. She let go of me and touched my arm. "I'll always be here. Just think that I took a permenate vacation. I never would leave you. Stay strong for my boys." she told me. She let go and and I then followed the doctor back out into the waiting room. As soon as I saw the boys again I went over to Liam. I was asked a lot of questions, but it's better for them to find out on their own from Belle. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "It's your turn now."
I then sat back down and said nothing.
END FLASHBACK
Liam's POV:
Me and the boys are sitting in the waiting room now. I do not know why they have these here. If the purpose is to make you go over the edge until you want to rip the chair arm off because of how tight you're squeezing it then... they have done their job. Trust me, I'm not the only one who feels the same. As I look around the room, I see each and everyone of their faces just as broken as mine probably looks. If we knew that we would meet a girl who means this a lot to us and also makes us hurt just as much... we would have never believed it or we would have walked away. Now though... its reality and just like everyone says... you NEVER want to be in reality. I don't know about anyone else, but I just can't remember all of the events from the time we went into the hospital.. to now... the end. I guess its because of all the thoughts that just kept assaulting my brain. I couldn't think straight and I'm pretty sure that the reasons for the fuzzy spots in my memory is true.
I'll try to see what I remember...
FLASHBACK:
While I was in the waiting room just pacing the floor, not daring to look at any of the boys faces because if I did.. I would break down and sob to death from all the pain. Annabelle is my best friend.. and when she left with Louis I thought she would have been happy. I thought that they would have realized the fact that they love each other and would stay strong and fight for as long as she had left.. I did not know that she wouldn't even get to SAY how she felt! Louis was left hanging and Belle was forced back from love by the demon called Cancer. I paced the room some more until I saw Harry come back over to us. I snapped my head up and immediatly analyzed his face to see if it would give me a clue of what went on in there. His expression was unreadable so I had no chance of putting the pieces together. He came over and stopped right in front of me.
"It's your turn." he told me. I just nodded my head because I was in no mood to talk right now and I think understood that. He just looked at me and touched my arm. I got up and led myself away from the boys. My heart skipped a beat with hope. Why would I be told to see her if she was... gone? I opened the door and walked inside step by step. My heart was racing and my palms were sweating from my subconcious mind's thoughts on what she would look like. I then hesitantly looked inside and saw the girl who started it all.. Annabelle staring right back at me. I couldn't look at her for more than a second before my body and feelings had a mind of their own. I lunged for her and ever so gently wrapped my arms around her and just sobbed. I couldn't help it. She meant so much to me.. to us and I just refused to let go of her. I heard her laugh and felt her touch my face with her two hands so I was forced to look at her. She had her hair in a braid and her face was very pale with dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted, but she seemed just like her old self.
" Liam, hey.. look at me." she ordered and I did what I was told. " How are you? Are you boys holding up okay in there?" she asked me.
" You have no idea Belle. We are all wrecks out there and we don't know what to do. Louis told us what happened to you, but we all just couldn't process the thought of how sudden this was." I saw her flinch when I said Louis and that right there told me that she did feel something for him, but probably felt too much emotional stress to even think about it. Belle took her hands off my face and replaced them onto my hands. "Liam, I have to tell you something. I hope you have been expecting the worst because I think its going to get a little more horrible. The doctor came in before you and told me that I only have an approximate time of 4 hours to live. The doctor is bringing you in one by one so I can say my goodbyes... I'm so sorry Liam.. for everything." she told me with concerned and softened eyes. The opposite of me. I jumped up and paced around the floor again. "You've got to be kidding me Belle. When the doctor took me in here, I thought that you were okay! I gave myself false hope even though I pictured the worst about 8 times in my head before! I knew I shouldn't have done that! I would have been hurt less than I am right now! " I yelled while I leaned on the wall opposite her bed, sliding down it before I felt the ground below me. I looked up at her and saw that she wasn't crying or even talking. " How can you be so calm about this Belle? Am I being stupid for blowing up like this?" I asked in a softer voice.
"No sweetie...no. I have expected this for 3 years and I learned to accept it. I knew that this had to happen to somebody and even though I was unlucky to have this forced upon me, I still took it in and let it run its course. Believe me Liam, I took it a lot worse than you did when I first found out. I was throwing things, screaming, crying uncontrollably and I didn't know how to stop. Come here." she told me. I got up from the ground and sat back down on the side of her bed. "You will do great in this life Liam. You make millions of people happy in minutes and you need to keep that up. Don't let me or what happens to me bring you down, or keep you from living your life. You know that it would be the last thing that I would want you to do. Any of you boys to do. So listen. You are going to grow up, have a nice girlfriend who will then turn into your wife. You will have lots of children and a family that you can call your own. I will always be with you Liam. Do not forget that.." she ended. She kissed my cheek as new tears rolled down my sunken face. I knew that this was goodbye and I was actually okay with it. I got to see her one last time and that's all that mattered. Right on cue, the doctor came in. I got up from her bed. Kissed her forehead one last time and walked back outside the room. I was angry. I really was, but I knew that I couldn't let that run my life. So from that, I walked back into the waiting room ignoring everyone's questions with a simple, "you'll find out soon enough" and tapped Niall on the shoulder.
It was his turn...
END FLASHBACK
Niall's POV:
I'm here with the boys after we heard the news of Annabelle's death . I guess I could say that I'm not as angry or resentful as everyone else. I was mostly just numb. All I wanted was to see her and even though we all got that wish, it still didn't take the pain away. That would come in time. I can only remember so much of what has happened these last few hours.
Guess I'll say what I remember...
FLASHBACK:
After Liam left with the doctor, me and the boys were just as confused as the rest of them probably were. After he left, I finally talked in what seemed like forever. " Where is he going? Where is he taking him?" I asked. Harry spoke up next. "I have no idea. Do you think that she's okay and just wants to see us?" he asked hopefully. Surprisingly Louis spoke next. "No. Don't get your hopes up. If you do, then I will, and when we find out that it was all for nothing, I'll become even more broken than I already am now." he said while silent tears rolled down his rosy cheeks. He was staring at the floor. Has been doing that since we came in here. We all were worried about him and what he might do, but it was best to let his pain run its course so he can learn to heal. I think of it like a band aid. Louis was hurt in the first place, Annabelle was the band aid and now he had to rip in off while he hurt more than he did before the band aid was taken away. We didn't know what to say to his statement so we just went back to what we did best in this situation:
Waiting.
Soon enough, when I put my head up to look around, I saw Liam walking back to us. He had a small smile on his face and dry tears were seen on his cheeks. He walked back to us and while the other boys bombarded his with questions, he just replied with "You'll find out soon enough" The boys took in what he said and sat back down. Then, Liam came over to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He pointed to the doctor that took him first and looked back at me. I guess it was my turn now... I stood up and walked over to the doctor and let him lead me to our Annabelle.
After I walked into the door and saw the doctor walk back outside to shut the door, I finally saw Annabelle. Even though she had cancer and if you loved her enough, she would look just like her old self. I walked up to her and hugged her tightly. She held on to me just as tight for a few minutes before letting go. I kneeled down in front of her and said, " How are you princess?"
"I'm doing suprisingly okay for this type of situation." she laughed. Oh how I would miss that. She looked up at the clock next to us and her face changed. It wasn't exactly happy anymore. "What Belle?" I asked. She looked at me with her big tear -stained eyes.
"Niall, I'm so sorry to have to say this, but the reason you were called in here was because of how much time I have left. I only have approximately 3 more hours before I go. You boys are coming in here alone so I can say my goodbyes. I love you Niall and I'm so sorry." she told me while she put her head down. I put my hand under her chin so she would look at me. " Belle. You are an amazing girl. You have fought long and hard for this and didn't let the cancer take away every single moment of happiness away from you. To me, you shouldn't be saying sorry. You are a hero to me and you always will be. If I had the strength and courage like you do, I would feel like there is nothing I couldn't do. You should feel the same." I told her. She reached down and hugged me tightly again while whispering, "I love you Niall, I hope you find your princess soon." We stayed there for a few moments longer and I let go. I walked back to the door, looked at her face one last time, and walked out. I went down the hallway and back out to the original room we were in. I then tapped Zayn on the shoulder, just like Liam did. He looked at me, but knew what to do. He stood up and walked down the hallway.
Zayn's turn now...
END FLASHBACK
Zayn's POV:
I just can't believe it. I cannot believe she's gone. She meant everything to us and I just cannot leave her! I think I'm in third place of the "Taking It the Hardest" competition right behind Harry and Louis. I can't sit still and I can't believe how many tears I can produce without stopping. I know all of us boys will stick together and be okay down the road, but all I want to do is just wallow in my self-pity as bad as that sounds. I'm remeniscing a few hours ago when I last saw Annabelle Hunt.
Here is what I remember...
FLASHBACK:
I saw Niall leave a few moments ago and so far I have done nothing, but sulk. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm hopeful. I'm being pulled every which way by every emotion, I feel like my hearts going to explode into a million tiny, shattered pieces. I tried not to concentrate on that and then I saw a familiar face walk back to us. It was Niall. His expression was unreadable. He walked over to us and tapped me on the shoulder, just like Liam did to Niall. I knew what was happening, but at the same time I felt like I wasn't ready to see her one last time like this. I sucked it up and got up anyway. I walked down the hallway and into the door where Belle was. When I walked in, I saw her. Really saw her. She wasn't kidding when she said that cancer can really tare you apart. Right off the bat she started talking. "Come over here Zayn. I need to tell you something important." I obeyed. I sat on the edge of her bed and she took my hands in hers. " Zayn, I've had to say this over and over again to Liam,Niall, and Harry and even though I don't want to say this, I have to. I only have about an hour before I go. You were brought in here one by one so I could say goodbye to you in private. I-" I didn't let her finish. That was all she needed to say before I hugged her with so much force, I felt like I was going to break her. I cried. I really cried while she just watched me. I didn't know how she could be that strong to not even show her feelings of how she will be DEAD in an hour! Another reason why she made all of us fall in love with her. One more than platonic, but I can see what Louis saw in her. She could make him into the person he's always wanted to be. She could get him to open up, but also be his fun loving self at the same time. I can't even imagine how he feels right now. He's probably on the verge of bursting any second. I then let go of her and just stared at her. We did that for what seemed like forever and a day. Then, I got the sense that since Louis needed the most time with her, I should leave. I got up and walked through the door. Before that though, I whispered a little "I love you Bells" to her. Then I did what the rest of the boys did: walked back out and finally tapped Louis on the shoulder. I sat back down in my chair and just stared at the ground.
There wasn't anything more that I could do...
END FLASHBACK
Louis' POV:
I can't stand this! I just CAN'T! This is agony! The boys and Belle were the only things I had left! I lost one of them. What makes it worse is that she collapsed right in front of me and I was this helpless little thing that could do nothing to stop her pain. I loved her. I still do. When I last saw her... I- I don't know. I can't think straight now. It hurts too much. I lost the only thing that could make me feel the way I did. The girl who could make me into the person that I always tried to be. A protector for her, a lover, and I was even thinking of husband. I loved her that much to think about marrying her. Now its all gone. I don't know how long people hurt like this, but I don't know how they do it. How they can cope with the pain of losing the one thing that mattered most to them? I know I'll be okay later on in life, but in this moment now, all I can think about is all of the things we missed out on. For one, I wouldn't be able to call her mine. I wouldn't even be able to protect her from anything that she didn't like. I couldn't buy her flowers every once in a while because I felt like it. I wouldn't even be able to see her walk down the aisle, or have children that we would both love forever and always because that's what a real family is like. I could go on and on, but my thoughts were too big of a mess to even try. All I know is that I love her and that's all that matters. That brings me back to a few hours ago. ..after Zayn brought me to her. ..my last visit to the girl I love...
FLASHBACK:
After Zayn got me, I didn't even give him a chance to say anything. I just sprang up and sprinted to her room. I pushed the door open and as soon as I saw her... I broke down. I went over to her bed, swallowed her in a hug and cried. I heard her trying to calm me down, but I just couldn't. Spending all that time in the waiting room, trying to suppress all the feelings that I had just vanished with one look at her. After I calmed down she told me to come up on the bed. I climbed in next to her and just held her in my arms. That was the closest I could get to what I wanted. "Lou.." she finally said.
"Yes?" I asked back.
" I think you know why you are in here. I only have 10 minutes tops to say my goodbyes and to tell you what I've tried so hard to say. Listen to me. " she looked at me and took a deep breath. "I love you." My heart literally stopped. She what?! "I know that it probably has no more meaning to you since I can't stay any longer, but ever since we made up a few years back, all the hate I had for you was substituted with love. How well we got along and how close we could be with each other made me realize that you weren't just a best friend to me like Harry, and the other boys are. You are so much more than that. I just wanted you to know that you mean the world to me and even though you may ha-" I cut her off. I couldn't just sit here and listen to her tell me that she loved me when I could be doing something that would both satisfy our feelings...
I kissed her.
Never in my life had I felt something quite like this. It was warm, it was sweet, and it was with the person who I needed most. I picked up my hand and placed it on her cheek. I caressed it with my thumb. I just wanted to stay like this forever. If only life was that easy. I felt her arms come up over my neck and pull me closer. We both smiled into the kiss. Soon enough though, she pulled away. We were both breathless and glowing. "Sorry, but I just needed to do that" I said with a little laugh. She joined in and I hugged her. After we pulled away, she then started talking again. "Lou, I never really told anybody this, but you are too important." My heart raced again. "When I was a little girl, I was obsessed with growing up. I wanted to be just like my parents. I wanted to go to school, I wanted to travel to exotic places and find love along the way. I wanted to get married and have kids. The first thought that popped into my brain when I found out about my cancer was the fact that I couldn't have any of it. I wouldn't be able to have a loving husband who I would stick with through every little thing. I wouldn't be able to have a little boy and girl who I could hold in my arms when they're upset or chase away the bad dreams in the middle of the night when they were scared. I wouldn't be able to have a job and travel to the places that I really wanted to. If I knew as a kid that I would be deprived of all of that, I would have made the most of the time I had left. Sadly, I am left here to let everyone I love have what I didn't and surprisingly, I'm okay with that. As long as I know that some person who I care deeply about can have all the experiences that I wanted for me, then that's all I need. My life can end in happiness because right now, I have 5 people who will. I have a person who loves me so that's one experience out of the way. Yeah, I won't have marriage or children, but I don't need it. Just listen to me though. You are going to find someone who is right for you Louis. You will find your way to another love even though ours was cut short. You will have fun with your job and with your friends, and you will have children who you can take care of and protect. Don't let my cause bring you down. If you love me, you will promise me that and one more thing." she stopped for a second and tried to catch her breath as it became uneven. "Promise me this before I go...
"Forget to remember me....."
Flatline.....
Well, Still looking forward to reading it! <3
Emily xx :)
6/24/13