Changing My Life
Chapter 13 Media
Amy's POV
I woke up on something weird. It wasn't until I opened my eyes that I realized I was sleeping on Liam's bare chest. He felt me wake up and started tightening his grip and kissing my head.
"Good morning" I said.
"Good morning beautiful" He said. God his morning voice was sexy. I took a minute to admire his toned abs, I was obviously drooling over them. I can't believe I wake up to that.
"Like what you see ?" He said pulling me out of my day dream. I blushed. A lot.
"Breakfast ?" I said sitting up, trying to get out of an awkward situation. He chuckled obviously realizing.
"Sure, but I want to check out Twitter and Instagram first" I forgot that we posted pictures yesterday and were too tired to see the reactions of the fans yesterday.
"Go ahead, I'm going to the bathroom then go downstairs." I said getting up.
"Aren't you going to check yours ?" He asked. God this was going to be embarrassing to say.
"I don't have any followers, I don't think it would matter to check the photo" I said, slightly frowning.
"Oh" He said frowning. Then his eyes widened as if remembering something. "Shit" He cursed under his breath and started tapping away on his phone in a fast manner. "I'm so stupid" he mumbled.
"Liam, what's going on-" before I could finish the boys bust opened our room and started talking really fast. All I managed to understand was 'sorry' 'we're assholes' 'please forgive me and keep cooking for me' I chuckled, obviously Niall said that.
"Okay, okay calm down. What's going on ?" I said, really confused as to why they're apologizing.
"Well Amy, we've been living with each other for a month and none of us bothered to follow you on social media. Please forgive us." Harry said. I started laughing uncontrollably, I had to sit on the bed to calm down. They all looked at me confused.
"I-What-That was why you were all worried about-seriously ?" I couldn't stop laughing. Then I decided to lighten up the mood and mock them, they deserved it they looked like they were guilty of killing my dog.
"Not following me on Twitter and Instagram was low, I expected more from you guys. So disrespectful. I think I will leave since I was not treated with respect-" I tried to say it sternly but I couldn't hold it anymore, I burst out in a fit of laughter. Soon enough they joined me laughing.
"Seriously though guys, I don't care for all that. I never did. Sure it sucked when I was like 14 and had no followers but I learned to not care about that." I said when I stopped laughing.
"That's great Ams, but we're really sorry. It totally slipped our minds." Niall confessed.
"It's okay Niall, seriously."
"Um-Amy ? I don't think you have zero followers anymore. Check out your account." Liam said.
I got my phone and once I switched it on it wouldn't stop buzzing. It was like it was going mentally crazy. I laughed as I set it on the bed waiting for it to stop vibrating.
"It won't stop buzzing until you mute the notifications, trust me we go through it too." Louis said.
"But I'm not famous" I said. They all gave me an 'are you serious' look. Then I remembered last night, Simon introducing me to the world, the concert, the interviews. I had an 'oh' look on my face.
I muted the notifications before my phone would break from the intensive vibrations and logged in to Twitter first then Instagram only to find the same reaction. A million followers. I Amy Rodriguez got a million followers over night.
"Wow" is all I said. The boys were chuckling. For them this was normal but for me it's all new.
"We're going to make breakfast" Harry said and him, Louis and Niall bolted downstairs before I could beat them to it. But I decided to let them today because I wanted to read the massive amounts of comments. First thing I noticed was that #Liamy was trending. I can't believe I went from 0 followers to a million followers and trending !
Then I got to the comments, some saying I look beautiful and pretty. I rolled my eyes at those. Some saying I look great with Liam and that we're a cute couple and that I look like a great mother. I smiled when I saw that. Some were re tweeting my video that somehow found it's way on YouTube and trending on twitter, saying I sound awesome and complimenting my voice, my look and my style.
Then I got to the hate. Let's just say it didn't end well.
'you're a slut'
'you're using Liam'
'you sound like a dying horse'
'fat'
'ugly'
Those stung but not as much as these
'your kid is ugly af'
'you're too young to be a mother, you should run to your mommy, oh wait she's dead'
'Liam is only with you out of pity'
'You're a bad mother.'
'Go kill yourself'
Those are what created a total thunderstorm inside of me. I said nothing to Liam and hid my emotions as best I could. I needed to be alone to get through all this. There is only one way. One way.
"Let's go get breakfast, love" No I can't eat. I'm too fat.
"I'm not hungry, can you get Emily. I'm going to do some laundry and clean her room." I said biting my lip to hold the tears until I'm alone. Then I'll let it out. Just hold on. 2 seconds.
He looked at me with a confused look but then nodded and left the room. That's when I let out the sobs, the tears, the sadness. Not caring who heard. I went to the bathroom door and locked it. I got Liam's razor and broke it. Took the blade in my hands and started what I hadn't done in a month.
'For being a slut'
'loosing your parents'
'being fat'
'being ugly'
'unworthy'
'bitch'
'whore'
'bad mother'
As I got to 'bad mother' I made a deeper cut. Blood was everywhere, I dropped the blade but the crying never stopped. I let them win, I let HER win. My subconscious is the worst. That was the worst insult I got. All my life I was insulted and I didn't mind. Out of all the insults I got, that one stung the most. Like someone dropped a brick on my heart. I love Emily with all my heart, I know I'm only 18 and has only been with Liam for a month and was getting my life together but that stung like a bitch.
My vision got blurry and the sounds of me sobbing were fading. Last thing I know was that I saw black shoes in front of me then everything went black.
Liam's POV
I went to Emily's room which was next to my room, well I guess mine and Amy's room, I found her awake talking. I peeked through the door and saw her talking to her stuffed rabbit, Cuddles.
"I wuv yuw Cudduws" "I wuv yuw tuw Emiwy" She's so cute. I knocked on her door and she looked at me smiling.
"Daaadddddyyyy" She came running to me and I placed her on my hip as we hugged.
"Good morning princess, do you want breakfast ?" I asked her and she nodded her head, her pigtails bouncing. It was so cute.
"Okay let's go" I said kissing her cheek, when I left her room I heard sobs and loud cries.
"Daddy what twat ?" Emily asked me and I shrugged. Everyone was downstairs so it had to be Amy. I didn't want Emily to worry so I went downstairs and set Emily down for breakfast, I told Louis to feed her and then went upstairs.
I opened the bedroom door and Amy wasn't there but I saw my bathroom door closed. As I got closer I could hear her sobbing and crying even louder. It broke me to hear her like that. She was fine 5 minutes ago, how could I not notice ? I'm so stupid. I was about to knock on the door when I heard
"bitch", "whore", "bad mother". Then I realized what she was doing. I pounded on the door but she didn't open, I could hear her sobbing.
"Amy, please open the door. I love you. Please let me help you" She didn't listen. I remembered the spare key I have of the bathroom, I found it in my bed side table and opened the door quickly only to find Amy in a pool of blood unconscious. I rushed to her side and tried to wake her up but it was all in vain. I picked her up bridal style and shouted
"LOUIS CALL AN AMBULANCE NOW" I was looking at Amy's body, she had cuts on her arm and a very deep one next to her elbow. Tears flowed to my cheeks as I looked at her unconscious body. Unable to move. The one that I love, why would she do this ? It hurt so damn much to see her like this.
Soon enough Niall and Harry came bursting through the door. They were totally shocked.
"L-Louis call-led th-the ambulance" Harry said out of words. Niall started to cry.
"Where's Emily ?" I choked out of my cries.
"She's watching T.V." Harry said, Niall just stood there crying.
"Distract her while I take her out of here. I don't want her to see this" I said. They nodded and left the room. Soon Louis came up and was on the verge of tears when he saw us.
"Why ?" was all he said.
I just shook my head. Niall came up again saying the ambulance was here and that it was okay to bring her down.
Everything happened so fast, I went downstairs and put Amy on a gurney. Then got in the ambulance. Soon enough she was wheeled to surgery and I was left waiting. Not knowing is the worst feeling. All you can do is imagine what will happen next. Will she live ? How will I live without her ? What will I tell Emily ? How will I raise her alone ? All these thoughts made me burst into another fit of tears.
I could feel someone rubbing soothing circles on my back as I sobbed in my hands. I looked up to see Louis on one side and Niall on the other. Harry was probably home with Emily.
"Everything will be alright mate" Louis said comforting me.
"Why would she do that ? She was fine then 5 minutes later she wasn't. She was happy this morning and she had been clean for a month. Why ? What did I do ?" I couldn't figure out where I had gone wrong. She woke up happy this morning, when she saw her followers she had a huge grin on her face. Why would she all of a sudden had to feel like that ? why ?
"It's not your fault mate " Niall said.
"I keep reminiscing this morning, trying to see what could have set her off. But I can't think of anything." I said.
"I think I know why she did that" A voice said making me glance up. It was Harry and Emily. Emily immediately came over to me hugging me.
"Daddy where's momma ?" What can I tell her ? God I screwed up.
"Momma's in there, the doctor is going to help her get better. Let's go walk around, okay ?" Louis said clearly noticing that I didn't know what to do. "Otay" He picked Emily up and took her for a walk.
"What did you say before mate ?" Niall said reminding me that Harry said he knew why she was acting like this.
"Oh well, I found her phone and you won't like what you're going to see. Promise me you'll keep calm Liam" I cleared away my cheeks from the tears, blinked a few times to make my vision better then nodded.
I took her phone in my hands and clicked the unlock button. Her screensaver popped up and I smiled to myself. It was me, Emily and Amy, it was our favorite photo. I did her password and the screen unlocked revealing hate that Amy got from fans. My jaw was clenched and I dug my nails in the palm of my hand as I created fists out of anger.
I got to my phone and opened the Twitter app. I had to stop all this. I had to tweet.
Thank you for your 'lovely' comments. I just love to hear my so called fans calling the love of my life, the mother of my child, my soul mate a bitch and a bad mother and much more. You guys suck go to hell.
After an hour a doctor appeared calling Amy's name. Me, Niall and Harry shot up and approached the doctor.
"Are you here for Amy Rodriguez ?" He said we nodded.
"She's fine, we cleaned up all her injuries. She's awake but won't eat. It would be best if you could convince her to eat, she has lost a lot of blood. You can go see her, she's in room 208." He said before walking away.
I rushed to her room and saw her crying. I was mad at her and disappointed but I just ignored all that and hugged her. I knew how she felt, I had gone through it, but it hurt that she didn't approach me about how she felt. I know she didn't want to because again, I know the feeling but it still hurt. I just sobbed on her mumbling how much I love her and how much she means to me.
Amy's POV.
I woke up in a strange room. Memories flooded my brain as I remembered the hate, the blade and the amount of blood and the last thing I remember was black shoes. Someone must have brought me to the hospital. A doctor approached me smiling at me. I smiled weekly at him.
"Hello ms. Rodriguez. How are you feeling ?" He asked.
" A little light headed but fine" I said.
"That's because you need to eat, here eat this and you will feel much better." He said giving me a tray with food. I shook my head no. I can't eat food I'm too fat as it is. Simon will fire me if I'm too fat and Liam will dump me.
"You have to eat, you lost a lot of blood" He said sternly, I shook my head again and he sighed.
"I will go notify your family that you're awake. They can come see you if you want" I nodded and he left. I'm scared to face Liam, I disappointed him. I promised him I wouldn't do it again and if I felt like it I would tell him. He must be crushed. I was so happy with my life. But the hate, they're right. I am fat and ugly. I am a slut, I mean I lost my virginity because I was raped, it wasn't 'making love' it was horror. I am unworthy, I don't deserve Liam. And I'm definitely not a good influence on Emily.
Just then the door flew open revealing a teary Niall, a worried Harry and Liam. He was a wreck. He had bags under his eyes, his eyes were red and he looked miserable. He stood there just for a second staring at me but then he burst into tears and hugged me for dear life.
He kept mumbling on my shoulder as tears soaked my hospital gown.
"I love you, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I took care of it though. Don't listen to them they're just jealous that you're way prettier than them and that you live the life that they so desperately want. You're a wonderful mother, don't let anyone tell you other wise. I'm so lucky to have you. You're my life, I don't know how I would live with myself if you died. " Liam always had a way with words, he was right but I still believe those comments. I had said those to myself my whole life. I just smiled hugging him. I love him so much.
"Wait, what do you mean you took care of it ?" I said suddenly realizing he said that. He pulled away and said
"Here, look" I looked at his phone and saw a tweet he uploaded.
Thank you for your 'lovely' comments. I just loved to hear my so called fans calling the love of my life, the mother of my child, my soul mate a bitch and a bad mother and much more. You guys suck go to hell.
"Liam you didn't have to do that, they're your fans" I said.
"Of course I had to, they're not fans if they treat the love of my life like shit" He said. I couldn't hold it anymore I cried. I cried realizing how selfish I am to do this to someone who loves me.
"I-I'm so sorry Liam, please forgive me" I said sobbing in my hands.
"Listen to me, we all went through this. We all know how you feel and why you did that. I admit I am disappointed you didn't tell me, I could have helped you. But I know how I felt when I went through that and I understand. Just please promise me you won't do it again and that you'll let me help you through it." He said. Tears falling from his beautiful eyes. I nodded.
"I'm so selfish for hurting the ones that actually love me in this world. I'm really sorry Liam" I said.
"Listen to me, you have to eat. You lost a lot of blood. You are not fat, whoever said it is out of their minds. I love you fat or skinny. I don't care" He said. I kissed him, I couldn't take it anymore. He loves me and I love him. He has a way with words that he just finds his way to my heart and make me fall in love with him all over again.
"I'm gonna text Louis so he can bring Emily over, Harry can you go check when she can leave please ?" Liam said, Harry nodded and Liam texted Louis. I was chatting with Niall when I heard my favorite voice saying my favorite word. It was like music to my ears.
"Moooommmyyy" Emily said as Louis placed her on my hospital bed. I hugged her and tears fell. I love her so much. It hurt seeing those hurtful comments about her.
"Awe yuw otay mommy ?" She said tilting her head waiting for my answer.
"Yes baby girl, I'm just happy to see you" She hugged me again and then cuddled up to me sucking her thumb.
"What this ?" She asked pointing to my bandaged arm. That was a sign on my body that said weak.
"I hurt my arm baby, but the doctor made it all better." I said and I could feel her smile.
"Does it huwt ?" She asked.
"No baby, it's all better now" I said, "Otay" she cuddled more squeezing me tight as if I would leave her. I lied the cuts did hurt but I need to get over that. I did that to myself and I was very ashamed of doing so. Harry walked in interrupting my thoughts.
"You can leave once you eat and they check your sugar and blood pressure" He said, I groaned. I know Liam said he doesn't care if I'm fat but I was genuinely not hungry.
"Come on babe eat something, so you can leave and we can go home" Liam said giving me a pudding cup. Hospital food was disgusting, it was exactly like eating a bar of soap but I ate it so that I could leave with my family and see my daughter and the love of my life happy.
They checked my blood pressure and sugar and we left the hospital.
