e i g h t y t w o - tea.
The rain is falling hard from the dark sky. It's always fucking raining. I decided to end my hunt, for one reason and one reason only: I heard her. I picked up on everything she said. Not only did I hear her from my five mile long distance, but I listened through Sophia, who thankfully let me inside of her mind for a little bit. I felt the pain in my own chest, hearing my beautiful girl cry over something that was basically my fault. I should have given her what she wanted, I should give her what she wants.
I'm trailing back to the cabin, hoping and praying that she'll be alright with seeing me. They're still talking, but as of now Sophia is the only one saying anything. She's telling Julianne ways to calm down in frustrating situations. She's informing her of ways to approach me when she has a complaint about something we're doing. Sophia is telling her all of the things she needs to know, that she needs to be reminded of - I'm grateful.
Of course, Julianne and I have talks about serious things, but never about those things. I can't get in her head the way Sophia does, the way a girl can. I remember when Sophia first met Julianne, they clicked immediately. She doesn't feel the same way towards Gemma or Perrie as she does Sophia. That's a major sign for me, shows me who I can trust to be around Julianne. I trust my sister, obviously, but I just know Sophia is the closest to Julianne out of everyone, except for me. Yet, sometimes I believe she connects with Sophia more than she does with me..
My hand carefully wraps around the handle, my eyes shut as I focus on the noise coming from the other side of the door. Julianne doesn't sound like she's shedding tears anymore, but her sweet voice is cracked from crying. I swallow harshly as I turn my hand, the door doesn't fail to creak as I push it open. To my surprise, Julianne is sitting beside Sophia, who's arm is around her shoulders. Quickly, I chose to not interrupt just yet.
I gently close the door, trying to prevent a big disturbance, before walking towards the stairs. Perhaps I should dry off before I try to sit down on the nice furniture for a chat. No one calls after me, as suspected, so I highly doubt that Julianne wants to see me right now. The lack of a proper wall and door upstairs is a blessing to me, I don't have to use too much energy to listen to the girls talk in the room below. Despite that, I ignore them both. They deserve privacy.
It doesn't take me long to go into the bathroom and grab a towel to dry off with. I discard my soaked clothes in the hamper and change into some fresh, dry ones. Pajama pants and a tee, because honestly I am far beyond tired and I don't feel like trying to present myself in a nice way. Besides, it's just Julianne and Sophia.
Keeping my eyes glued to the floor, I make my way back down to the kitchen to fix a cup of water, or anything that'll quench my thirst. As I pass through the living room, I can sense the presence of my love, but I do not dare turn towards her. I'll let her be.
When I come into the kitchen, I lift my head only to be in slightly shocked. Sophia is starting a batch of tea, gosh her's is the best I've ever had - aside from my mother's. "Got caught up in the weather, hm?" She presumes without even turning to face me. It's most likely that she heard me come into the room. "Well, I was more caught up in what was going on here.. I didn't even pay attention to the weather until it was pourin'." I tell her as I go over to one of the cabinets.
"She's not mad, you know, not at you. At her self, yes, but.. not at you." A sigh comes from me as I grab a glass from one cabinet and a bottle of whiskey from another. "She would like to talk.. about a lot of things, if you don't mind." She continues. Her words make me furrow my brows, "Of course I don't mind."
Just as I finish pouring the whiskey, Sophia appears by my side. "Go easy on this." She whispers, gently sliding the bottle away from me. I turn to face her, not sure what exactly I want to say - there's a lot of stuff piled onto my brain right now. "Did she.." I stop, realizing I'm speaking too loud. Thankfully, Julianne has a normal sense of hearing. I lower my tone to a murmur, "Did she.. tell you.. why she.. made me stop? 'Cause I.. I don't know.. why."
My heart begins to beat a tad faster, for some reason I greatly fearing the answer to this. Sophia gulps gently, looking past my shoulder to make sure we are alone. "She said.. you wouldn't get.. close enough." She spills it. I huff gently, upset with myself that I didn't just grant the wish Julianne had at the time. "Why are you hesitating? She's.. she wants it o happen, Harry."
"It isn't easy. She's h-" Sophia cuts in instantly, "Her being human has nothing to do with it, Harry. I know you better than that. Stop lying to me." Sophia harshly slaps my bicep, making me flinch away from her. "Now tell me the real reason."
I could lie to Niall easily, to Zayn as well. I would lie to my sister, to Perrie, to Julianne. Hell, I lie to myself. But there's one person I can't lie to, because they'd just see straight through me, and that's Sophia.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shake my head just slightly - not capable of actually believing this right now, that I'm about to tell this to her. I lift my head, our eyes lock automatically. She's giving me her motherly stare - wide eyes, highly arched brows, and straight lined lips. "I'm not ready. I'm-I'm."
Sophia takes a breath, "Just say it, Harry." Sometimes I like to believe that I'm the strongest person in all situations. It's only true for most, though. When it comes to Julianne, whether it be during an argument or doing a sweet talk - my heart crumbles for the girl. I can't help it, I have to give in to her. With the ongoing topic of our intimate affairs, my bravery is definitely decreasing. My courage is dying. It's quite simple really, such a plain term I can put it in.
An hour and a half has passed by since I returned to the cabin. Sophia insisted that I give myself time to relax and get in a nice state of mind before beginning a deep conversation session with Julianne. The girls stayed downstairs while I ventured back up to the bedroom a while ago. Julianne and I haven't made any sort of contact, I doubt she's even said my name in a whisper to Sophia. Not being near her is killing me slowly.
Suddenly, right in the midst of my thoughts, I make a mental link with Sophia - apparently she's letting me inside her head for a moment. I close my eyes in order to hear everything clearly. A smile spreads gently across my lips, Julianne is ready to talk. She wants to see me. She really wants to see me. Finally.
I swear I've never moved down a flight of stairs so fast in my life before. I grab a hold of the railing as I get to the ground level. Sophia just sat two cups of tea down on the coffee table, Julianne instantly reaches for one of them. Sophia's gaze lifts, immediately seeing my presence in the room. She gives me a gentle smile, along with a nod of her head - gesturing me to come over.
"Are you leaving?" Julianne's sweet voice breaks the silence, her words directed towards Sophia. "No, love. I'm just going to wash the dishes.. give you two some space." Her eyes flicker to me for a moment, letting Julianne know I am in the room now. Julianne gives her a nod, and then lets a sigh come through her lips. Sophia gives her one last smile, it seemed to be a signal of encouragement.
I give her a few moments to exit, not wanting to barge on in. She shoots me the same smile she gave to Julianne, Sophia truly has one of the most purest souls ever. I'm very grateful to have her as family. I smile back, silently assuring her I will do my best. She disappears into the kitchen, just as I take the first step towards my love.
She's sitting patiently, her legs underneath her as her back presses against the couch, her small hands cradled the cup of tea. I come around the corner of the couch, careful not to bump her feet, which were sticking off the edge of the cushion, as I pass by. There isn't any tension in the air, I can't sense any negative, upset vibes from her. Perhaps she just wants to talk, and that she isn't mad at me or herself anymore. I hope so.
Easily, I sit down on the opposite side of the couch, leaving a cushion between us just for save measures. "The tea's good." She mumbles softly, taking a sip. I look over to see her eyes peeping over the rim of the large mug. "I'm sure. Soph makes the best, I swear." I laugh lightly as I grab the other cup from the table. I take a drink before replacing it on the coaster.
"I'm.. I'm s-sorry about.. how I-I acted earlier. I should have.. have told you what was wrong." Julianne shocks me by suddenly saying what's on her mind. I'm thankful, though, things will be able to move along now. "You don't have to apologize. I.. I was mean to you, and, and that's just unacceptable. I'm sorry." I retort her words, she might blame herself but I certainly don't blame her.
"Why.. why did.. you.. leave?" Julianne is very quick to ask this, I swear I thought I knew where this conversation was going - clearly, I don't. "You were acting like.. you didn't want there.. so.. so I figured that leaving was.. the better option." I begin to explain the way I felt that very moment, how stupid was I. "But.. I know realize that I should have reacted differently.. I.. should have lied down beside you.. and we should've talked then, instead of waiting til now." My heart is hurting for what I done to my girl, but at the same time I'm relieved to get these things off my chest.
"I shouldn't have let you go.. I'm sure if I had tried hard enough I could have gotten you to stay.. Right?" Her trembling hands lift the cup to her lips as she awaits my answer. I watch her turn the cup slightly to fill her mouth. "Yeah.. I would have stayed.. I just felt like you didn't want me to." I admit, sometimes Julianne just puts out the wrong message - even when she doesn't say a word.
"Well.. next time.. don't leave." Her eyes drop to her lap, staring down at her tea. "Hopefully there won't be a next time." I drape my arm across the back of the couch, my fingertips brush against her soft hair. "H-harry I think.. I think I was, um, just.. not.. ready. 'cause surely if I had been.. I wouldn't have.. stopped." She tells me with a huff, dropping her head against my hand. I slide my fingers through her hair, massaging the tips into her skin. She shuts her pretty eyes, pleased with my actions.
"I think we just.. messed up with the whole.. last minute decision. I'm sure when it's meant to happen.. we'll just know." I stare at her beautiful face, despite not being able to look into her orbs. Her lips have their natural pink tint. Her cheeks are flushed like normal, her soft waves have recently had a brush run through them. "You're too far away.. c'mere." She smirks softly, lifting her lids to look at me. I chuckle back to her, she's such a blessing. "Pass me your tea, dear." I say, reaching for the cup. She finishes the distance for me.
I carefully place the cup on the coffee table and close the space I had purposely put between us. My arm goes between her and the couch, my other hand slides onto her neck. "We have to stop getting so angry at each other.. especially over the little things." I lick my lips as I stare down at her, she's so perfect. "You have to stop leaving me. I don't like it." She changes the game, turning the focus on me now. "Hm, well I would like it if you would tell me what's bothering you more often."
"I will.. I'm sorry that I do that.. I just.. I never had anyone to talk to before.. so I'm used to keeping things to myself." Julianne's gaze tears from mine once again, but this time I don't have the question the reason. She practically grew up without a mother, the majority of her life was spent with her no good father. I understand what she's referring to, so I don't dare say anything about it.
"And I'm used to leaving when things get heated. If I promise to stop.. will you?" Of course, our situations were somewhat similar. I hated being near my father, so I would flee the house every chance I got - especially during one of his alcohol fueled tantrums. "I promise." She mutters gently, leaning closer to me. My hand lifts her face so that those precious eyes are looking into mine.
"I promise." I repeat the words, with full meaning of course. She grins gently, puckering her lips to me. "Kiss me, please." I can't possibly prevent the smile from forming on my mouth. "My pleasure, baby."
"Mmm, stop, that tickles, Harry." Julianne giggles out as I drag my fingers down her spine. I remain quiet as I rest my hand on the swell of her butt. "Cover me up, m'cold." She says into the pillow. "You're getting quite demanding these days, honey." I laugh gently as I pull the covers over her body. I lie down beside her, my hand returning to her back. She lifts herself up, elbows pressed into the mattress. Those precious eyes meet mine, instantly we both forget how to blink.
"You.. you think it's best to wait until.. I'm.. like you." She mumbles, repeating something I have said a few times to her. I furrow my brows slightly, "Yeah." Of course I believe that, after all that's happened, it definitely is the better option. "When.. when will you.. make me.. like you?" She curiously asks, her soft voice barely there. I sigh, rolling over onto my back, "Julianne." Her name is the only thing I can manage to say right now. I didn't expect to have this conversation tonight.
"Harry." She breathes out, mocking my tone. She turns on her side to face be, but a distance still remains between our bodies. "I thought we agreed on talking things through." Julianne's words bring another huff from my mouth. "Baby, you're going to hate what I have to say. So what's the point in even telling you?" I turn my head on the pillow where I can look at her. She's frowning at me, disappointed I can tell.
"We promised." She whispers, nervously biting down on her plump bottom lip. I can't help but to cave for her, I don't want to see her cry - not over something as simple as a conversation. "The change is the most difficult part of the process. I've claimed you already. The change and the bond are what's left." I start out with a deep inhale, this is going to be long I believe.
"What's.. the bond?" She asks quietly while intensively staring at me. I swallow hard, it's not that difficult to explain but I have a feeling she isn't going to comprehend it entirely. Mostly because she's human and she hasn't been around people like me her whole life. "Once the mate is changed, if they have to be that is, then you have, um, you have sex. And.. the first time you, uh.. The male has to um, you know, in the female to make the bond."
Julianne makes a slightly disgusted face, which just makes me feel a lack of confidence for the future. "Changing someone.. takes a lot of strength and energy." I carry on with what I was saying before, I didn't mind Julianne's little interruption. "What.. what all do you have to do?" Her questions are good, I'm glad she's curious and wants to know. The more she soaks in now, the less I will have to repeat later on. Besides, it's important that she knows things like this - things about my kind. She'll be this way one day, so she'll definitely need to use that obtained knowledge.
"Um, first I'll have to.. bite you, most likely on your throat, then I'll have to.. spill my venom in to you. There's a certain number of minutes I have to do it in order for you to undergo the full change. Um.." I pause for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts to be sure I don't miss a step. "Then I have to.. well, I don't have to do this next part but I will. I'm going to hold you down.. while the venom spreads through your body. Once your heart is fully taken over.. I can ease up on you."
Her eyes are wide now, slightly filled with fear. "It's going to hurt, isn't it?" She nervously asks me, worry spreading across her pretty face. "Yes. A lot, I won't lie to you. You're going to feel like your body is on fire.. but in the inside. Apparently, according to the people I know who have been changed, it's the worst feeling they ever experienced."
Immediately, I know my words have frightened her. She gulps loudly, but nods to me, insisting that I keep going with the process. "It will take.. a few hours for it to be completed. But then you'll have to spend another couple hours chained down because you're.. you're going to want to kill everything around you. We'll have to keep everyone away from you.. even the pets."
I know this is a scary thing, even though I've never personally been through it. Thankfully, I'm a natural born. "Ch-chained?" Julianne stammers out, her eyebrows furrowing deeply as she stares straight into my eyes. "Yeah. Chained. You'll be very strong the first few weeks. Stronger than.. me, even." I inform her, she needs to know these things - and besides, she's the one that asked how it works. "Is-is that all?" Gosh, I wish.
"No." She lets out a whine, making me smile just a little. She reacts in the cutest ways sometimes. "Will I even want.. to hurt you?" Julianne's lips are quivering as she awaits my answer. I sigh gently, "Yeah." She shakes her head instantly from side to side, denying what I said. "No way. There's no way I.. I could ever.. want to hurt you." She seems to be worrying over this, something that hasn't even occurred.
"Baby.. I'm sure that's true but.. you've got to understand that.. you're mind is going to be altered. You're going to be angry and starving and anything with blood in it's veins, whether human or animal, will make you lose your mind." I try my best to further explain this, but I don't really know what else to say. She'll experience it, but she won't remember most of it - only the initial pain and feeling of starvation taking over.
"I.. I'm scared, Harry. W-will you be in the room with me? The-the whole time?" Julianne's hand grabs my wrist, squeezing it tight. "Baby, don't be afraid. It's not like it's happening tomorrow. And yes, of course I'm going to be with you. For the most part I'll be right beside you."
Part of me hopes she's changed her mind on what she wants in life, yet I know I wouldn't be satisfied with not living with her forever. I couldn't possibly carry on immortality without her alongside me, untouched by age. It's a tough situation to be in, but I hope she stays strong for me, for herself.
"When are you.. doing it?" Julianne murmurs, already aware that this is something I won't answer. I quickly lick over my lips. Her gaze hasn't moved off my face, and I don't fully blame her for being curious. "When the time is right, babe, when the time is right."
Julianne has given up, I suppose. She scoots closer to me, sliding an arm over my torso. Her head lies in the bend of my arm while my hand rests on her shoulder. "Goodnight." She whispers to me, placing a kiss against my bicep. "Goodnight, love." I pick up the hand that's sitting on my waist and I lock our fingers together. This makes her smile against my skin. I lean and give her a kiss on her temple, my sweet girl.
I apologize for the delay. I have been having troubles with the internet! It should be good for a while, though. Leave some feedback for me! The sequel is coming verryyy soon! I'm SO excited!!!!!!! xxxx you're going to love the next handful of chapters, I promise!!
((just a note: I hope everyone has realized how much their relationship has grown and matured. this leads to major things in the upcoming chapters))
--We won two awards!! thank you all so much for everything, you mean the world to me! xx
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