s e v e n t y f i v e - heal.
//not far apart, but not close enough//
My body was stirring around, despite my mind screaming to please stay in a slumber. I try my hardest to stay asleep, I begin to imagine the next scene of my dream in my head - hoping that that method will help me to remain asleep. If it weren't for a weight on my body, I probably would have fell back asleep. I groan lightly as I barely move my lids - light pouring into my vision. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out every source of light in order to preserve my ability to see. A grunt fills my ears, an all too familiar sound. I attempt to move my body, but I soon realize it's being weighed down my something quite large and heavy. My mind comes into realization of what the mysterious burden could be as I notice what my palm is touching - fire hot skin. A small smile forms on my lips as I trail my hand up the spine of the structure on top of me. It didn't take but a few seconds for my fingertips to come in contact with those soft, messy curls.
I flutter my eyes open, quickly getting adjusted to the sunlight peeking in from the barely opened blinds, the curtains pulled away from the windows. I glance down just to see a mop of hair on my chest. My smile grows bigger as I feel a hand resting underneath my head, cradling it. There's another hand glued to the small of my back - it's quite a comforting position on my part. Clearly, someone else finds it rather comfy as well.
My fingers tangle their way into Harry's locks, twisting and twirling strands around. He lets out another grunt between snores, causing my grin to widen even more. He's so adorable, honestly. I know he seems like such a tough, strong guy - well, that's because he is one - but when it comes to me, I believe he's just a softy, a cuddle bear for sure. My head turns to the side so that I can read the clock sitting on the nightstand. It's nearly eleven in the morning, and he's still passed out. "Wake up, sleepy head." I mumble out, tugging at his roots. He groans, tightening his arm around my lower back. I let out a laugh as I feel his lips move against my skin. Right as I process the feeling - my eyes nearly pop out of my head. How come I can feel his lips against my skin - my covered skin?
Panicking, I use my other hand to trail down my side, seeing whether or not I am clothed. Thankfully, I feel my shirt all bunched up, my breasts still covered by a bra. I let out a sigh of relief, I was so silly to think Harry would ever do something like that to me - undress me without my consent or knowledge. I'm sure my shirt just ridden up as Harry and I moved around last night, no big deal anymore.
"Haaarryyy." I sing out his name quietly, rubbing my fingertips into his scalp. His throat lets out a growl at my actions, and I have to say I find that very attractive. I don't stop my movements, and instead I do it harder and slower - so that it feels better, relaxes him even more than he already is. He releases another growl, moving his body just slightly on top of me, but not enough to make a difference.
"Wake up, I'm lonely, Harry." I breathe out, knowing all to well that he can hear me perfectly fine. He's just choosing not to do as I ask, such a stubborn boy. The smile still remains on my face, though, I don't think I could be upset with him while he's in this state - so cute and loving. "Please." I add, my other hand reaching up to touch his waist. His snoring has come to a stop, which informs me that he's not asleep entirely. Perhaps he's still coming out of his slumber, but surely not passed out anymore. "You're such a big teddy bear, Harry." I find myself giggling this out when he nuzzles his face into my chest, the side of his head resting on my right breast while his face mostly is supported by the valley between them. He grunts at my words, maybe he disagrees. Well, I for one don't see how anyone couldn't see that he's such a cuddle bear. I just softly laugh again as I think that, I wonder if all his guys know he's such a love bird. One of his legs is resting between mine, the other is thrown on the bed. I can't help but to fully adore this moment, he's so perfect.
"Mmmm." He hums against my skin, lips soft and slightly moist against me. "Please wake up, you know I get scared when I'm alone." I try a new tactic - make him feel absolutely sorry for me. Hopefully my exaggerated pleas for help will convince him to open those eyes and roll off of me so I can properly breathe. Harry's fingers curl into my hair as a groan slips out of his mouth. "What.. what if something's.. out there..?" I allow my inner acting skills to come out, it isn't much so I pray this works quickly! Harry growls again, the wolf within his body is responding to what I said. To my surprise, Harry finally lets out some words, even though it's just a mutter. "M'here." He assures me of this by placing a soft kiss against my skin, just below the space between my breasts. "Look at me, silly." I sigh out, beginning to become highly impatient with him. Harry doesn't do as I request, instead he releases a throaty groan and lifts himself off my body by removing the hand from my head and pressing it into the mattress, pushing himself upwards. He didn't lift up very far, but I'm not the one to complain. I got him up, that's all I wanted to do.
Harry moves his body upward so that his face is hovering just half a foot above me. "G'mornin', m' love." He drops down to leave a peck on my lips, not even allowing me time to return the favor. Without hesitation, I use both hands to grab a hold of his handsome face and drag him back down to me. "Good morning, sunshine." I laugh feathery to him - he looks completely wrecked at the moment, far from bright and happy. He smirks with just one corner of his mouth before closing our short distance.
My hands remain glued to his face as his tongue slides into my mouth, taking over completely now. I let him do the work as I hold him in place. I get lost in the trance as his tongue slides over mine, and then continues to sweep across my mouth just to repeat the process again and again. Harry has become more openly passionate with me in these past few weeks. I'm not sure if it's because he's finally realizing I don't mind it, or if there's something in the water. I don't mind it one bit though, I love it more than anything. It's one thing getting to hold hands with the person you love, but getting to kiss them like this - while he's pressed against me, just rising for the day - ready to take on the world together - that's the best feeling, it's something I've looked forward to for a long while now.
Harry pulls away from me, his lips brush the corner of my mouth. "I smell breakfast." He chuckles to me, his words filling my mouth. I let my hands find their way to his sides, where I then grab a hold of his waist on both sides. I smile back to him as my eyes pour into his. "Take me to the cabin." I blurt out the request suddenly, shocking both him and I entirely. His eyebrows lift and his smile fades to a more confused expression. "Why?" He asks in a light breath, utterly puzzled by my unforeseen demand. "I.. I wanna be alone with you.. for a while." I admit this to him, not without the burning flames rising to my cheeks and the now unsteady beat of my heart, of course. My nerves are shaking in my body, what if he denies me of this? I wonder if he even wants to spend time away from the family with me, what if he doesn't? Before my distressed mind could further ponder the multiple outcomes of this situation - Harry interrupts.
"When.." He sighs lightly, slowly closing his eyes and squeezing them for a few seconds. I gulp gently, nervously the lump slides down my throat - only to form again straight away. His eyelids part and I'm met with his emerald gaze. He exhales slowly, deeply, before speaking. "When your bruises heal.. I'll take you.. for as long as you want." Harry makes an unanticipated move on me. His head lowers to where my neck meets my shoulder. He gently nudges my head to the side so that his lips could better reach what they were after.
His mouth attached to the mark he carved into my skin - making a soft moan escape my mouth. My eyes close in pure pleasure, the sensations racing through my body. From the tingles of my muscles, to the twists and turns of my stomach, to the throbs of my heart - everything felt amazing. His tongue swipes over the mark just after his lips release it. I gasp at the amount of satisfaction that rapidly ran through me. It was a heavy mix of pure happiness and erotic feelings - the combination confused my body but for the most part, but it sure did relieve it at the same time. All worries were gone, fears washed away, and the anxiousness I possess was overthrown by the legitimate joy Harry's actions gave to me.
Sadly, just as quick as it began, it came to a stop. Harry's lips left a few pecks against my jawline before finally reaching my lips, where he then sealed everything with a kiss. I smile against his lips as he pushes them against mine - keeping his tongue caged inside his mouth. He chuckles very lightly, I could have missed it if I weren't paying so much attention to him. He lifts his head, those eyes once again finding mine. "I promise.. once you're all healed up.. I'll take you out there." His right eye drops into a wink, making me flush uncontrollably - something he ought to be used to by now.
"Now.. like I mentioned before.. I believe breakfast is ready." His toned, perfectly sculpted body rolls off of mine. Without a word, he stands from the bed and heads over to the chest of drawers sitting against his wall. I sit myself up, feeling a headache quickly approaching me. I push the thought aside, trying to maintain a nice, relaxed attitude for Harry's sake - I'm sure he would rather me be happy than in any more pain right now. He opens a drawer and pulls out a pair of sweat pants along with some plaid pajama pants. I lift a brow at him, why did he grab two pairs of pants? He also grabs two shirts from the next drawer. He turns to me and immediately catches my stare. I look down to my lap, ashamed that he caught me gawking at him. His back muscles are quite extraordinary to watch move around and flex. I swallow harshly as he returns to the bed, but he doesn't sit down.
Instead, he throws the plaid pants and a tee at me, both landing directly in my lap. "Don't be shy, princess, m'yours." Harry says, that gravelly voice making my nerves quake. He does wondrous things to me at times, quite pleasurable really. "Put those on. I don't want anyone seeing your bruises." Harry informs me while he pulls the sweats up his legs, securing tightening them with the strings. I lift up the shirt just to find it's long sleeved and rather big. Harry's shoulders are much broader than mine, so I shouldn't be surprised.
I watch him throw his shirt onto his body, shielding my eyes from his golden, inked skin. However, luckily for me and my wild eyes, the shirt allows me to see the entire length of his arms - such a beauty. "I.. I thought everyone.. knew." I mumble as I climb off the bed, careful not to bump my elbows onto the nightstand - that would probably insanely hurt me. "Not Sara or Ruth.. We don't.. necessarily tell them everything." Harry says with a small smile as I glance up at him.
He's watching me closely, biting onto his lip as I remove the shirt I slept in and replace it with the one he handed to me. I step into the pants, instantly feeling pain shooting through my body. I wince at the pain and let out a shaky breath. Harry quickly notices and comes to my rescue, as usual. His hand grabs my waist and the other gently wraps around my wrist. He raises my arm and sits my hand on his shoulder. He gestures for me to do the same with the other hand, and I gladly do without hesitation.
I lean closer to him as he grabs the waistband of the pants and guides them up my legs, hunching over just slightly so he could reach better. I groan as the strain on my arms hits me - the pain becoming too much to bear. "Harry." I whine out his name helplessly, there's not a thing I could do to make myself stop hurting this way. "Shh, I'm almost done, baby. I'll take care of you, I promise." He whispers softly while grabbing the strings of the pants and tying them into a bow, pulling the fabric tight around my waist. Harry carefully lowers my hands, fully aware that the sudden movement of my arms is what's making me hurt so bad.
"Now then," He mumbles as my hands are at my sides, my arms finally lowered. "..Feel any better?" He asks with furrowed brows, worry swept across his beautiful face. "It still hurts." I admit fully, not wanting to lie to him at all anymore. I want to be real with him, even if it means being harsh at times. I love this man, I don't want to risk what we have. "How about this.. I'll carry you down to the kitchen.. so your body isn't straining as much." Harry insists on this, and right as I was about to protest his suggestion, he sweeps me off my feet and into his strong arms. He laughs as I squeal like a frightened school girl, my head dropping to his shoulder. "Relax your arms, don't move them too much." He whispers against my temple before pecking my skin softly, the little things drive me wild inside.
"You know.. my legs don't hurt, I can walk, Harry." I say as he carries me through the doorway and towards the stairs. He just shakes his head at me, not willing to accept what I said. "No, no, no.. you're hurt. Therefore, I need to be the best boyfriend I can be and care for you." His lips shape into a happy grin as he tells me this, words I know he is very proud of. "You're already the best boyfriend in the world.. you don't have to try this hard to keep your status, honey." I lean up just a smidge so I could press my lips against his earlobe.
He lets out a nervous laugh, making me instantly wonder if something was wrong with what I said. "If I were.. the best boyfriend.. I would've never.. ever.. covered your.. beautiful body in.. in bruises, love. I.. I just can't accept.. that title." Harry shakes his head, fully disagreeing with me at this point. "I'm not even an okay boyfriend, let alone the best." A huff comes from my mouth, how dare he say this about himself! "Harry, you're amazing." I relax my head against his shoulder and focus on the way he's securely caring me, cradling me to his body like I was a child.
"I hurt you-" I cut him off before he could further ruin this moment for me, "Okay, that's enough. I.. I don't wanna argue." Another huff leaves my body, but I would consider it a quick exhale. Harry's body tenses against mine, making me wonder if I had upset him or made this even worse for us. It would definitely be my luck if I did either of those things. Why do I even try to be hopeful for good things anymore? I mean, gosh, look at how horrible all my other situations have turned out.
The ladies, along with Zayn, have fixed up a late breakfast for everyone. We all got a well deserved sleep last night, I don't believe any of the others even went for a hunt. The amazing aroma of the different foods all mixed together makes my mouth water. I'm starving, it's been days since I ate any actual food. When I enter the kitchen, Julianne still in my arms, all eyes land on me but no one questions it at all. I guide myself into the dining room and carefully sit Julianne onto my chair. She groans as I lean up, not wanting me to leave her side.
"Hey, it's alright, baby. I'll be right back." Her bottom lip rolls out into a pout, but I just give it a kiss anyways. She blushes, as beautiful as ever, as I give her a wink. Just as I am about to walk away, her small hand grabs my wrist. I lean to her, "What is it?" Julianne takes a few breaths before speaking back to me. "I'm not that hungry.. I.. I don't want.. a-a lot." She mutters out, licking over her lips just a moment later. "Alright." I turn on my heel, leaving my angel behind, and head back into the kitchen.
Once again, everyone's focus finds me and the staring begins. I grab a plate from the short stack at the end of the island - Julianne said she doesn't want much, so I will just get one plate for both of us to share. "Hey.." Perrie is the first one to make any sort of verbal contact with me as she gets behind me. I pick up the spoon for the eggs and drop some onto my plate. Perrie does the same once I move along. I reply to her sigh as I add a few pieces of bacon, "Hey."
"You seem.. happy." She says as I get some French toast sticks, once again she does the same thing once I step away from that tray. "Julianne and I.. had a nice conversation last night.. and this morning. I'm.. feeling fine." I explain my mood to her, I know it's something they're not used to nowadays. I haven't really showed many signs of happiness since my mother passed - and if I have, it has been around either Sara or Julianne. "Why's everyone so quiet?" I ask before Perrie could respond to my previous statement. She laughs slightly, "We all thought you wouldn't come down. We were shocked to see you." She nudges my back lightly with her elbow, I just reply with a slight laugh as well. "Like I said, m' fine."
After grabbing a bottle of water for myself and a cup of orange juice for Julianne, something that I know she loves, I return to the dining table and sit the things down in front of her. Perrie joins us at the table just a few seconds later, while everyone else is still preparing their plates. "There's plenty more if you want anything after this." I say to Julianne as I gesture for her to stand up. She groans lightly with an eye roll, not wanting to move at all. I just smile as she stands and awkwardly waits beside me. I sit down in my chair and scoot back away from the table just a bit more so that she can have room. I pat my lap a few times with the palm of my hand, waiting for her to have a seat. But when I look up at her, all I see is a confused expression and those flaming red cheeks.
"C'mon, now. Sit down, love." I say, pressing my hand into the small of her back, guiding her closer to me. She hesitates, shaking her hands in protest at me. "Julianne, sit, baby." I can't help but grin at her cute shyness, she's so precious it's literally unbelievable at times. "Harry, nooo." She trails out, pouting dramatically at me. "I'll just sit you myself." I sigh out along with a shrug as I grab her waist with my hands, forcing her onto my lap.
A squeal comes out of her mouth, which she immediately covers up. I playfully grunt at her, not understanding why she doesn't like this - I find it highly enjoyable. She's sitting uncomfortably on me, I can tell, so I do some adjusting. I pull her legs to the side, turning her body in the process. She glares down at me, embarrassed that I've put her in this position. "Just relax.. this way I can help you one hundred percent." I tell her, kissing her covered shoulder.
"I'm not a child, Harry." She slaps her hand against my chest and instantly yelps in pain. She grabs her wrist with her other hand, holding it close to her chest. "Like I told you.. I'm going to help. You're hurt, baby. Just let me do this."
A soft sigh slips out of my mouth as I hear the water from the shower cut off, and the door slide open. Julianne wanted to refresh herself on her own tonight - without my help and my presence. I allowed her to, of course, I would never pressure her into doing something she didn't want to do or found uncomfortable. A couple of minutes pass on as I sit on the bed, my hair damp from the shower I had about an hour ago, and my body covered by only my underwear and the covers - the headboard is chill against my back. I had been pacing back and forth for nearly thirty minutes, listening to her breathing and her heartbeat mixed with the running water. Her soft murmurs I could hardly make out and the few coughs and sneezes here and there. I get so paranoid at times - especially when I'm not with her. We're not far apart, but still we aren't close enough. It scares me, I just don't want anything to happen to her.
The bathroom door eases open, the creaking filling the silent room. I turn my head so that I could watch her enter the bedroom - the towel is wrapped around her body, secured underneath her arms. I take a deep breath, trying to keep my thoughts from trailing off to somewhere they don't need to be. My eyes follow her body as she goes to the end of the bed where I told her I would have clothes laid out for her. She sits down on the bed, her back facing me. I don't get upset about it, though, if she doesn't want me to see her then I'm okay with that. Whatever makes her feel more comfortable, that's all I'm concerned about.
Julianne picks up the pair of black panties I got for her and she leans over, I assume to pull them up her legs. She stands, the towel still snug around her, and she guides them to her hips. The towel rises in the process, but I don't get a glimpse of anything - just the back of her thighs and that beautiful skin. Next, she reaches behind her and grabs the shirt of mine - I figured she wouldn't mind that it belonged to me instead of to her. She likes to sleep in my shirts, recently they have replaced her nightgowns and pajamas. I don't mind, it's quite cute to me.
With a bit of hesitation, she carefully removes the towel from around her body allows it to drop to the ground. She throws the shirt over her head, and sticks her arms through before yanking it down. It barely covers her butt, but it does it's job. She turns around but her eyes still don't find mine. Instead, she begins to comb her fingers through her wet hair, brushing the tangles out and making it somewhat straight. A soft smile covers my lips as I watch her start the braid in her hair. She weaves the sections of her hair together and finally secures it at the bottom with a hair tie once she's finished.
I don't say anything to her, not because I'm upset or she's mad at me - both of us are fine with each other. However, things have been a tad awkward since we ate this morning. She told me she felt weird, but I reminded her that no one really looked at us - they just ate their food and talked amongst themselves while I assisted her. She claims it was odd, and that she would've rather had been in another room away from them. The argument didn't become heated, it was calm. We spent most of the day sitting on the couch watching murder documentaries with Sophia and Perrie. That is, until I had to leave around seven or so.
There's one thing Julianne just can't seem to handle - and that's my departure. I needed to hunt, my strength was dying down and I was feeling extremely weak. I was only gone for an hour, and I definitely regained my stamina. While I was gone, she fled to my room and cried on my bed the entire time. When I returned home, I comforted her and assured her I was okay, she was alright, and everything was going to be just fine. That led us to this moment.
Without a word, Julianne walks to the nightstand where she then turns off the lamp and pulls the covers back. The glow from the muted television is the only source of light now. She's lying on her side, her back to me once again. I swallow the nervous lump forming in my throat, could she still be mad about me leaving? I want to scream at her - tell her she has to learn to understand that I can't go days without hunting, that I have to have energy and strength in order to keep her, myself, and everyone else protected. She doesn't comprehend that, and I only wish she would.
I roll onto my side, turning away from her. If she wants to give me the silent treatment, then I can do the same to her. I immediately huff - I shouldn't be this way. I should fix this, speak to her, tell her that I'm here if she needed to vent. I really should not be that boyfriend - the one who runs away from all their problems, the one who doesn't try. She deserves someone who will do anything and everything to make her happy, to make her smile. I'm that person - but I just don't show it as often as I wish I would.
So, I take advantage of the moment and fall onto my back, my eyes staring at the ceiling. I take a deep breath as I turn over towards her and move closer, so close that her body is molded against mine. I feel her toes curl up against the tops of my feet as I move them around, tickling her just slightly. My arm snakes around her waist, pulling her as close as we can possibly get - while the other slides underneath her head, my hand finding hers as it rests on the pillow.
"Goodnight, I love you sweetheart." I whisper into her ear, leaving a few pecks against her lobe. She snuggles her body even closer to mine, each of her hands finding mine and slotting our fingers together. "Goodnight, Harry.. I love you." She whispers back gently. Her small hand guides mine to her mouth, where she then places many little pecks against my skin. I smile lightly at the feeling, adoring the little things she does to me to show that she loves me.
"Harry.." Her gentle voice enters the quiet room. I hum against her skin, insisting that she carry on with whatever it is she needed to say. She takes a deep breath, and sighs out her words, "Take me to the cabin." My eyebrows furrow just slightly, haven't we already spoke about this? "Baby.. I already told you that-" She cuts me off, clearly not wanting to listen to me repeat the same thing. "The bruises will take weeks to heal, Harry.. I.. I wanna get away from here." Julianne whines to me, obviously she's not coping with what I said earlier today.
"Why do you want to leave so bad?" I ask confused, not sure why she's acting this way. Is there something wrong, something deeper than just her wanting to be alone with me? There has to be, it's the only explanation I can think of - something's seriously bothering her. It couldn't be Liam, he's not even here - and I doubt he'll return within the next few weeks anyways. "Why are you making me wait 'til my bruises go away?" She ignores my question and instead tosses one right back to me.
However, unlike her, I am going to answer. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. You know how flirty we got last time we were there.. being alone just.. makes us do certain things. I don't want to be kissing your skin and have you wince every five seconds because of a bruise that I caused." I admit this to her - hoping she understands what I'm trying to say. As soon as I take her to that cabin, I'm going to toss her pretty self onto that bed and kiss every inch of her skin - well almost every inch. Why not do it here? Well the cabin just seems more private, more special - I saw her naked for the first time, we bathed together for the first time, so many things.
She remains silent, even after I'm through talking. Her body is slightly tense in my arms, and I can't help but to wonder why. "Tell me why you want to leave." I demand, but with a calm voice. The last thing I want to do right now is cause an argument - I believe we've had enough of those this past week. "I wanna be alone." She shrugs gently, but I just have a hard feeling that she's not telling me the entire truth. "Tell me why you want to leave. The real reason." I keep my voice soft as I talk into her ear, holding her body in my arms tight and still.
Julianne's heart beat picks up its pace, but not a lot. I can sense her nervousness, she's hesitating telling me because she's anxious about what will happen, how I will react. Realizing this, I leave a few kisses against the shell of her ear before saying, "Baby.. you can tell me anythin'.. I won't be upset." I squeeze her hand tight, reminding her that I'm right here and that she's safe in my arms - sometimes she forgets that I'm always here for her. "You've got me worried, doll.. I.. I just wanna know." I add on, a soft sigh following my words. She inhales deeply, preparing herself for the confession. She stirs in my arms a bit, but I am quick to notice that she's only just pushing herself closer to me. Her behind presses hard against my crotch and I nearly explode - but I keep myself collected, and not erected..
"I just.. I feel like I can't.. can't.. do anything with you here.. s'like I'm.. being watched constantly." Julianne tells me of these feelings of hers that I didn't even notice before. I couldn't ponder it long, because she carried on with her words. "I just.. want to be alone.. so that we can do things.. normal.. people in.. re-relationships do. I.. I can't even kiss you with-without feeling.. like.. like someone's going to judge me." I had no clue that she felt this way - she's never showed any signs that she's felt weird around the others. Perhaps I mistook her shyness for her lack of comfort. I swallow harshly, ashamed that I've allowed my girlfriend to feel this way, that I've let her believe these things.
"Baby.. You can do whatever you want with me anytime you want. I don't care what anyone here says, and I promise you they have no right to judge what you do. And I assure you that every time we're alone together, and even sometimes when we're in the room with them, I have them blocked out. They can't hear you or me, and they sure as hell don't know what we're doing. If you wanna kiss me, baby, then you can." Her grip on my hand tightens as my words float around the room, gosh I hope she feels better with me telling her this.
Julianne is naturally quiet and shy, she doesn't like for people to stare at or watch her - she especially doesn't prefer to have everyone observing what we do. I know that it bothers her, being around everyone, living with all of these people. There have been many, many days when I found myself debating on whether or not it would be best to just move out with her - find us our own little place near by, possibly the cabin. I don't want to leave my family, but I will do whatever it takes to make Julianne feel better, comfortable, and most importantly happy. I have already considered leaving. Of course, the pack will still remain intact and I won't be too far away.
"You can hug me, kiss me, tell me whatever's on your mind.. Whenever you want, wherever you want.. But.. if you feel more comfortable in the cabin.. then we can go. As soon as you wish, my love."
big stuff coming........................................... :):):):)
this is kinda a filler chapter, but yet it's not! I hope you paid attention to their interacting..........