Beating Heart

//it's hard to handle you, but so easy to love you//


//Harry//

At times, our minds easily overpower both our heart and soul. Words fly out of our mouths and we end up hurting the ones we love so dearly - never intending to do that, of course. Emotions flow like a rushing river, the dam busted and the thoughts just spill into the air. It not only hurts that very special person that you adore with all of your broken heart, it kills you. Literally, the sitaution makes you feel like the most hated person on the planet. All you want to do is shove all those things back into your body and never say a harmful thing again.

Luckily for me, I was able to gather myself correctly and apologize for my actions. My love forgave me, even when I figured she shouldn't ever. She told me it was just the pressure of recent events, the stress of things that got to me. Whether or not that's true is something I'm not aware of. I hope that I never explode like that again, at least not in her face, not towards her. She never deserved that and I will never, ever fully forgive myself for what I done.




The sun is lighting up her fair skin, allowing me to easily see the tiny freckles on her nose. A smile is tugging on my lips while I watch her little fingers pick through the patch of clovers, searching for a lucky one. "Oh my gosh!" She gasps suddenly, getting a flinch out of me.

"No, nevermind." She sadly sighs, tossing the three leaves aside. I can't help but to be both amused and amazed by this gorgeous creature beside me. Julianne is laying on her stomach, her elbows digging into the ground as she runs her fingers through the clovers, trying her hardest to find a four leafed one. She's failed so far.

"You're looking too hard, love." I say as I reach over and brush my fingertips over the top of her hand. "I'm never gonna find one." Julianne's lips roll into a pout, clearly she's upset at the moment. "Relax, baby. Just keep looking." I bring my hand back to my knee, letting her continue on. "Stop." She whines to me, snatching my hand back.

After fumbling with my fingers, she sits my hand on top of the clovers and begins to trace invisible patterns on my skin. "Help me." She mumbles, lying her forehead on my palm. "No baby. I've already found one." I raise my free hand and gently pet her soft locks. "I know! I wanna find one." She groans, tilting her head up. "Baby, just look closer." A laugh escapes my mouth, she must be blind because I'm staring at one right now.

However, I don't intend to tell her. She needs to focus and be patient. "There aren't any." Julianne evidently has given up. I lean back on my hands as she sits herself up on her knees, those beautiful eyes trail over to mine. "If you love me.. then you'd help me." She bats her long lashes at me, lips rolled out in a pityful but adorable pout.

"I am helping you by giving you advice, babe." I inform her of this but she just sighs. "Please." She asks sweetly, her hand resting on my thigh. "You're not going to win, love." I shake my head at her, a chuckle coming from me as well. "Hey." Julianne's soft voice enters the air, beautiful eyes roaming all over me. "Hmm?" I watch closely as she lies herself down, her head falling onto my thighs gently.

"Did you.. did you always.. look after me?" She asks with a heavy curiousity in her voice, those wide eyes filling with wonder. "Before you were even born." I tell her as I run my fingers through her soft locks, letting her hair fall softly onto the ground. She furrows only one brow at me before asking, "How come you.. you never.. let me see you?"

I sigh faintly at her words, I knew this conversation would occur sooner or later, and this won't be the last time I hear her pretty voice say those words. "I made a promise.. that I wouldn't fully intervene until I absolutely had to." I can tell that my sentence is not enough for her, she looks away from my gaze and instead stares up at the sky and the clouds, I can see the reflection in her eyes.

"When.. when was that, exactly?" Julianne's brows relax on her forehead, her white skin glowing due to the sun's intense blaze. God, I hope she doesn't get a burn from it - that just now crossed my mind. "When you jumped out of your window.. I was with you the entire time. I knew you had finally decided to leave.. and I couldn't just let you run off and get lost. You have never been alone, love." My hand gently caresses her forehead before it slides through her gorgeous hair, making my skin tingle.

"Niall.. told me that.. he.. he found me." Her face washes over in slight confusion, of course I forgot to mention these things to her. She hasn't ever asked, so they just never came up before. "That's what we told you.. But no." I shake my head in denial at her words, "I caught you before you even hit the ground, baby. I brought you back. Cleaned you up. Laid you down, gave you one little peck on her forehead.. and I locked myself away."

"Why.. did you.. hide from me?" Her voice is gentle in the air, those are the words I have feared to hear only because it's extremely hard to explain, especially to a human. "Well.. when people like me.. get around the person.. they've imprinted on.. we kind of can't control ourselves, especially when you're of age." I tell her, yet despite my words I can easily tell she's not understanding it at all. "It was hard to not want to.. kiss you and hold you.. and.. do other things to you." I add. Her eyes grow wide at the last thing I mention, that's a topic we haven't really traveled down yet.

"You know.. I.. I constantly wondered what everyone was hiding from me." She tells me, a soft, feathery sigh slipping past her pretty pink lips. "I know." My thumb is rubbing small circles into her temple, a smile creeps onto her lips as I do so. She really likes it when I do this. "You better not hide from me ever again." Julianne's beautiful laugh fills my ears and I can't resist the smile forming on my mouth. "I promise I won't."

Despite knowing she's just curious, my mind is yelling at me - insisting that I demand we take another path and talk about something else, something less sensitive. No matter how hard I attempt, I can not ignore those voices screaming at me.

"Can we.. uh.. talk about something else?" I mumble to her, which clearly takes her into shock. Her eyebrows deeply furrow at my suggestion. "Does it.. bother you?" She asks lightly. "No, darlin'. I just.. want to talk about something else." I shake my head lightly to deny her claim. Of course it bothers me, but I will not allow her to be aware of that.

"Harry!" A voice extremely familar to me suddenly yells out. My head snaps up, my eyes heading straight for the patio where I see Gemma and Sophia standing, frightened looks over their faces. Julianne doesn't move, as if she couldn't care less about what they wanted. I, on the other hand, have no choice but to care.

"What?" I say loudly, but not in a yell. I know they can hear me, we're not fully human. Julianne flinches lightly at the level of my voice, but she calms herself by grabbing my hand off her stomach and lacing our fingers together.

"The guys need you." Sophia says with a stress filled voice. A sigh escapes from my mouth as I motion for Julianne to rise up. She does as I request, however she isn't happy about it. "Harry, no." She says, both hands grabbing onto me, one on my cheek and the other on the side of my neck. She forces me to stare into her gorgeous eyes.

"What's the matter?" I ask softly, sometimes I wish it was just me and her. Then, I would never have to leave her like this - with the fear of not knowing if I will come back or not, injured or dead. "Don't go." She mutters softly, her plump lips touching against mine as she leans into me.

"I have to. Ten minutes, alright?"





There comes many times in life when we upset the people we love. They might feel like they're alone and forgotten due to things we have to handle on our own. I hate knowing that I have to leave her behind sometimes, but she needs to understand that it's for her safety. I hope, I pray that one day she will comprehend it all and won't worry about me. I doubt that day will come anytime soon.

Notes

- I know it's been a month. I know you're probably sick of the delays. I know, trust me. It's irritating and stressful but I apologize. I have had a ton of shit to handle lately and I just haven't had the time to update. But I am back now that summer is here. Things will flow easier and I won't have as much to handle throughout the week!

--Feedback? - I'm so sorry if this is shitty. I feel like it is. I don't know what happened I just lost the energy. I will find it soon I hope! Updates? Let me know if you want an update!

xxB

--quick note-- The sequel is coming soon! I have decided that I am going to post it. I don't care if I only have two people reading it. if YOU want it I will do it! let me know who's on board! Also, keep guessing the title! It's fun to see what you guys come up with!