f o r t y e i g h t - mother.
//there's a reason the picture hangs on the wall, a reason you will never truly know//
My jaw clenches as I overhear Zayn and Perrie outside - they're mouths hooked together and pleased laughs shared between them. I swear sometimes they all just love to torture me by doing all the "relationship" stuff. Stop getting so bad just because you won't man up and snog Julianne. Shut up, I'm giving her space. Space?!
I sigh to myself, of course I would argue with my own mind over nothing. We've kissed, it's a nice feeling but she doesn't want that all the time. At least I don't think does. Speaking of my angel, she's stirring in my arms now, her hair a mess and her breathing deep. Adorable, really. She mutters something I can't make sense of, she probably didn't even acknowledge it herself. I press my lips against her forehead, it's nice to hold someone at night, she makes me feel complete.
The sound of my tent unzipping catches my attention. Moments later, Sophia pops her head in and smiles at me. "In an hour we're packing up and heading to the diner for a late breakfast." She tells me and I nod, I figured we would - since we always go there if we all go out together, most of time. My mother adored the diner, she dragged us all there plenty of times before. "Alright, we'll be up soon. What time is it?" I yawn out, not caring to cover my mouth. "Nine thirty, love! Rise and shine!" Sophia laughs as she zips the tent back up and leaves us - she's such a morning person..
"Harry." Julianne mumbles into the crook of my neck, her soft lips brushing my skin. "Hmm?" I press my palm against the back of her head. "Is it time to.. to get up?" She questions in a tired sigh. "Yeah, babe, it is." I say, running my fingers through her smooth hair. She groans in disapproval, seems like someone doesn't want to start her day yet. A smile spreads on my lips as she picks herself up off the ground, my arms unfold from around her. Once she's sitting up, with her hands pushing her hair back, I copy her motions and sit up myself.
"I'm ready to be on my mattress again." Julianne huffs as she reaches behind her and rubs a spot on her back that must be irritating her. "We'll be staying out here for the next week." I say as I stand up, hunching over because of the roof of the tent. "Are you serious?" She whines to me, throwing her hands in the air as if she's given up on the world. "No, honey. I was just messing with you. We're going home today." I can't help but let out a chuckle - she got so upset about that. Her small hand slaps my cafe muscle, no pain inflicted even though I'm sure that was her motive.
She's so cute, and all mine.
Perhaps she's uncomfortable. I keep telling myself this, trying to calm my nerves. Julianne hasn't opened her mouth since we left the camp site.
The diner is lively today, full of people and laughter. They sat us at a long table, booths on each side. Julianne is placed between me and the window, her eyes gazing out at the road, watching the cars drive by. Underneath the table, the back of my hand rests in her left palm, her right hand sitting on top. Her fingers are playing with mine and I find it rather adorable, she makes me lose my sanity. But in a good way, for a good reason.
I lift my eyes just in time to meet Sophia's concerned stare. Her eyes flicker to Julianne for a second, indicating her worry. I lift a shoulder, not able to soothe her worried mind. Julianne isn't seeming like herself today, perhaps it's because we're with everyone. Usually she isn't shy when it's only me and her. I turn my head to look at her, those precious eyes already gazing at me. I smile gently as I lean a tad closer then we already are.
"Everything okay?" I draw my eyebrows together as I await her response. I try to search for small details om her features that could lead me to an answer - but there's nothing. No frown, no quivering lip, no nervous look in her eyes. There's not even a bad vibe, I think she's actually alright. She gives me a few nods before dropping her head against my shoulder, focusing on my hand. She's cradling it, as if it would be the last time she ever held my hand.
"I don't like this." Julianne utters out, followed by a soft sigh. I notice from the corner of my eye that everyone takes a glance our way - it's the first thing she's said in a while. "What's the matter, love?" I ask in a whisper, carefully leaning my head against hers. I like this, having her as mine, it's a nice feeling. Makes me whole. She goes silent again, like she didn't even acknowledge my voice speaking to her. Niall sits across from her, and his eyes slowly trail over to meet mine. Or at least I thought.
"What?" I say as I realize he's looking past me, his eyes widening. Perrie notices and she looks for whatever it is he sees. Seconds later, her jaw drops and the table goes quiet - not a sound made as we all stare at the two of them. "What is it?" I raise my voice just a tad as I sit up straight, Julianne doesn't shift at all.
"You see it too, Niall?" Julianne states, her fingers slotting with mine as her other hand holds onto my wrist. "See what?" I ask, turning slightly so I could get a better look at her. She lifts her head from my shoulder, teary eyes stare at me. "Baby.. what's wrong?" I ask, placing my free hand on her cheek.
"We need to leave." Liam blurts out - but his voice remains low so no one really notices us. My head snaps in his direction - is everyone going crazy?! "Harry." Gemma's hand touches my arm and I look over at her, still confused. She's turned in the booth, her eyes staring off somewhere. I follow her gaze and search whatever has them bewildered.
I see nothing but the tiled wall of the diner, the filled tables, full plates, the waitresses going from table to table, the-
..missing person signs hanging on a bulletin board on the back wall. Julianne's face plastered all over the place.
"Move." I hit my leg against Gemma's, I have to get her out of here before someone notices. Gemma catches onto my intention and she motions for Louis, Sara, and Liam to get out of the booth. They hurry to stand up and get out of my way. I slide myself down the booth, Julianne quickly following me without even being told. "Here." Zayn tosses me the keys to my truck. I clutch them in my palm as I stand up. "I'll call you once I get her in the truck." I mumble to Zayn as I yank Julianne by her wrist. He nods to me. Before long, I'm out of the diner and practically running to the truck across the lot.
"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" I yell out as I sling the passenger door open. I accidentally shove her closer to the truck. She climbs inside and I notice her nervous body - shaking hands and quivering lips. "I - everyone was having a.. a good time. I didn't want to ruin it." Julianne's watery eyes find my gaze. I run a hand through my hair, she frustrates me sometimes. I shake my head lightly at her. "I'm sorry." She adds in as I grab the seatbelt and reach over her. I buckle the seat belt and slam the door - probably a bit too hard but she'll be fine.
I waste no time getting into the driver's seat. I start up the truck and back out of the spot. "Babe, someone could have recognized you." I remind her with a irritated sigh. "Well I'm sorry that I care about you more than I do myself." She snaps back quicker than I expected. I look her way as I slam on my brakes in the middle of the parking lot. "What are you talking about?" I throw my hands up, what does she even mean? "Perrie told me, okay. She told me, Harry." Julianne tells, her eyes staring into mine. "Told you what?" I furrow my brows at this girl - has she lost all sanity?
Julianne's gaze trails down to my hand resting on my thigh, I realize she's avoiding my eyes. "She told me this morning.. that lately you've been so happy.. and she said it's because of.. of me. I.. I saw how happy you were in there.. You were glowing. I.. I didn't wanna ruin that." She crosses her arms on her chest and slumps down in the seat, her eyes staring out the front windshield.
"You are more important than my happiness, Julianne. Someone could have noticed you.. then they'd call the police and they would take you away from me. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to lose you." My heart is divided at the moment. She cares about my feelings more than her self, but at the same time my mind is creating scenarios - what would happen if I did lose her?
"I'm eighteen. They can't take me." She scoffs at me, clearly not fazed by the thought. "Yeah they could." I roll my eyes, sometimes she can be agitating. I love her anyways, obviously. "Okay, it's over. You over react" She huffs out, her head shifting away from me to the window. "Then shut up about it." I grip the steering wheel as I pull out onto the highway. She makes me want to jump off a cliff.
It's been nearly an hour, Harry hasn't stopped driving around the small town. I hadn't been here before today. Sophia said it was a few towns over from where I live, or once lived I suppose. He stopped at a fast food place and got us both something to eat after he mentioned that he heard my stomach rumble. He's done eating, but as for me, I'm still nibbling on the burger and fries.
I gulp gently to myself as Harry pulls into a vacant lot that we've pasted about three times already. He lets out a long sigh as he parks on the far end of the lot. He turns down the radio volume and props his forearm on the steering wheel. Once more, he sighs deeply. "I'm sorry." He says as clear as day. I avert my eyes down to my lap, I stare at my fingernails as the silence grows back.
If he thinks I'm mad at him, then he's entirely wrong. I'm only upset with my own self - I should have informed him as soon as I saw it, but I didn't. I flinch lightly as his hand grabs my left one from my lap. He doesn't hesitate to lace his fingers with mine, squeezing tight. "I was just so worried. You're my whole world. I thought I was going to lose you." He tells me with a sadness to his deep voice. I haven't really seen him this way, it actually hurts me to know he's upset.
"I didn't intend to get loud with you.. or push you. There's a.. a bruise baby. I.. I'm sorry." He brings my hand to his face and kisses over each of my knuckles. "I understand if you're mad." he adds on, he won't even give me a minute to speak. "I'm not mad.. at you." I admit, pulling my hand free of his grip. "Stop." Harry grabs onto my hand again and forces me closer in his direction. "Harry, I wanna go home." I snatch my hand back, soon resting it in my lap. “Alright, baby.” It becomes silent again..
Ever since I got the glorious gift of the window, I haven't closed the curtains unless there was a storm. But tonight, for a reason unknown to me, I pull the curtains together, sealing myself in the darkness. Carefully, I guide myself to the side of the bed. I feel around until I wrap my fingers around the lamp's chain. I pull it and the dim light flicks on.
I throw myself on the bed, my eyes staring up at the newly decorated ceiling. I have no idea when he had the time to place those hundreds of little glowing stars on the ceiling, but I surely do adore them. Harry’s face enters my thoughts – I wonder where he is now? I haven’t seen a glimpse of him since we got home. He never told me I had to lock myself away, yet I did it anyways out of habit I assume. I did take a shower however, perhaps he placed the stars on the ceiling then – because I certainly didn’t see them before.
I sigh out to myself, why have I let myself come fond of this place? Sometimes I imagine myself back home, with my father. I don’t know why I do, but the images of home just randomly pop in my mind and I envision a false future – one in which my mother lives happily with me, and where my father actually treats me well. Sadly, that will never come along. I will never get my mother back, no matter how hard I beg or try. I will never be able to trust my father, I will never be able to do a lot of things..
Despite my wants and my daydreams of happiness, I need to learn to appreciate what I have – the people I have. I could have died that night I escaped out of my bedroom window, but I didn’t because I was saved. I could have starved, but I didn’t because they took care of me.
The fact that Harry knew my mother long before I was created sort of intrigues me. Harry.. He’s appearing in my mind again. Is it bad to say I miss him? It was my fault anyways, I shouldn’t have been so rude to him – he apologized to me and was sincere, while I was just being a bitch to him because I’m mad at my own actions.
I sit up on the edge of the bed and grab the handle on the nightstand. I pull open the drawer and grab my journal and the blue pen. I turn to a blank page in the back and pop the cap off the pen. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I begin writing my thoughts out – it’s much easier than speaking to him.
I never intended on upsetting you, or being mean. I’m only angry at myself for not telling you. I know I should have, and I’m sorry I didn’t. If you never want to speak to me again, I understand. Maybe this will be enough to show that I’m sorry, because I really don’t want you to hate me. There was something about your smile that I just couldn’t take away, I didn’t want to ruin the day because you were so happy. I’m sorry..
I rip the page out and put the journal back in the drawer. I fold it over and scribble his name on one side. A nervous chill runs down my spine as I stand up and carry myself to the door. Never have I ever turned left to go down this hallway – I’ve never even imagined doing so. But I know I must, if I want to see him. I take a deep breath and suck it up.
Literally, I have nothing to fear right? I live in a house full of werewolves, I doubt there is anything worse that will scare me. I turn the knob and pull the door open, the overwhelming silence engulfs me as I step over the threshold. My heart skips a beat as I look over into the darkness – the hallway seems endless. With once last glance over my shoulder, the light staying behind me, I take the first step into the shadow.
It’s very dangerous. You will probably never be able to fully comprehend it… Your beating heart couldn’t take it.
A gasp leaves my mouth as Sophia’s voice fills my head, her words haunting my memory. The darkness has completely swallowed me up, I can’t see a thing. I hold a hand out in front of me, just so I don’t run into a wall again – that would certainly be a bad thing. A billion things run through my head – like those few times Liam and I met in this very hallway, including that one time where Harry almost killed him. Whatever Liam has against me is still unknown to me, maybe he just simply doesn’t like me.
My mouth nearly lets out a scream as my foot kicks into wood – I can tell it’s a stair. I throw my hand around until I find a rail attached to a wall. I nod to myself as I carefully step up, my bare foot pressing into the cold wood stair. I go to the next one, gripping the rail as I ascend up the staircase. I try to distract my mind – I keep telling myself that there’s nothing frightening up here, yet I can’t be sure about that.
A nervous sigh floats out of my mouth as I realize, that suddenly, there are no more stairs to go on. I think back to what Sophia told me that day – how the right door leads to their rooms, while the left leads to somewhere else. Right – I’ll try that one first. I turn right and walk a few feet, searching for a door knob in the dark. I clutch the letter tight in other hand as my fingertips brush cold metal. I wrap my hand around the door and push it open.
My eyes squint because of the sudden blaring light in this newly discovered hallway. Lining both sides of the walls are doors – and in addition, picture frames. My wondering eyes start to trail over the walls, admiring the images I see. They vary, from black and white, old timey images, to the most recent holiday shots. A smile sweeps across my face as I see a photo of Harry and a younger girl – Sara, I know. They favor a lot. Harry’s grin is wide and his eyes are squeezed shut as Sara’s toothless smile brightens the photo. That’s adorable.
I continue down the hallway, my eyes roaming over all the photos. I come across another one that includes him. This one is set in the kitchen – Niall, Zayn, Harry, Liam, and Louis all present in the photo – their arms thrown around each other’s shoulders while happy smiles litter their faces. The one beside it is of Sophia and Liam, she’s extending her arm out closer to the camera, showing off the sparking ring on her finger.
My eyes land on a picture in a golden frame, it was Harry and both of his sisters, along with a slightly older woman. Harry favored her a tad, but Gemma was almost a replica of her. Could that be their mother? God, she’s gorgeous. Her smile is shining, white teeth showing and pure happiness on her face. That same smile spread over Harry, Gemma, and Sara’s faces.. That must be their mother.
It didn’t take a genius to figure it out – based on these pictures, things used to be different around here. They weren’t always mad at the world, nor at each other. I can tell that, within these walls, there was once a happy family. That family didn’t necessarily disappear, but perhaps they were put in the dark. Something corrupt and heart breaking changed them for the worse – I know the feeling.
“What’re you doing?” A deep voice rings in my ears and I jump with a squeal as I throw my hand over my heart, which nearly stopped for good. I spin around and see Harry leaning in on the hallway frame – his eyes lingering on me. I wonder how long he has been standing there. How much he witnessed. “I.. I was.. looking for.. for you.” I stammer out, anxiety taking me over once more. “What do you have?” He says, nodding towards my hand – the one still holding on tight to the letter I wrote him not long ago.
“Uh.. it’s.. f-for you.” I find myself stuttering once again. I pick up a small ounce of courage and hold my hand out, indicating that he can get the paper if he wanted to. He leans off the doorframe and trails over to me, taking wide strides. My eyes hesitate at first, but soon they find his – but I’m saddened by the fact they weren’t staring back at me. He takes the paper from my hand and opens it. I watch closely as his eyes read over the words I wrote for his eyes only.
A few moments pass, he’s still gazing at the ink on the paper. I turn my head, deciding to ignore him, and continue looking at the pictures hanging up. My curious eyes land on one of Perrie and Sophia, flour covering their faces and cookies filling up pans on the counter in front of them. The Christmas decorations in the background help me imagine the time of year. I leave Harry behind as I take a few steps away from me, still gazing at the images of this odd, but yet quite amazing, family.
My heart begins to sink as I come across a photo of the woman I highly assume is Harry’s mother. Her face is pale, there is darkness under her eyes, her cheeks have fallen in, and she’s in a night gown. Harry’s sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, his eyes placed on her face while hers were on the camera.
Despite her sicken state, she was softly smiling. My lip starts to quiver as I look at Harry’s image, his face is red and his eyes are puffy – you could see the tears streaming down his handsome face. The scar was out of view, but it didn’t matter – the situation is clearly upsetting.
“That’s my mother.” Harry’s voice send a blazing fire over my skin as he suddenly appeared behind me, his hand touching my waist. “That was taken three hours before she died.” He mumbles as I feel him step closer to me, his entire front pressing against me. I didn’t mind, his warmth is very inviting and I simply adore it. “What.. what happened to her?” I ask in a small voice, my eyes staring at the picture as if it was going to explain everything to me.
“She got sick one day, we thought it was just a cold, but it got worse as the days went on. We really aren’t clear on what happened, but her lungs failed and.. and her heart gave out.” He tells me in a calming voice, I’m glad he’s speaking to me. “She had lived for so long already, lived through so much.. we never imagined that a normal cold would do that to her.” He added on before grabbing the other side of my waist with his other hand.
“I could never hate you, baby.” His lips brush against the shell of my ear and I almost melt in his hands, the things he does to me are insane. “Harry..” I mumble softly as my eyes drop to his hands, mainly the one slowly sliding itself under my shirt. “Hmm?” He hums into my ear, vibrations rocking my body. “Did you put up all those stars?” I ask as I lift my hand and gently place it over his, the one not creeping under my shirt that is.
“Do you like them?” He asks, sort of ignoring my question. I give him a nod as his lips press a few small kisses underneath my ear. He chuckles lightly as I let out a small gasp the moment his teeth graze my skin. “I told you biting is not pleasurable.” I remind him as I grip his wrist tight, my nails digging into his skin. “And I told you.. I could make it worth your while, love.” He retorts as his tongues glides over a very small area of my skin.
“Harry.” I sigh out as his hand glides under my shirt and over my stomach. He rests it just below my bra and I feel my heart jump – he’s getting suddenly frisky with his movements.
“Why did you come up here?” Harry changes the subject, without removing his lips from the side of my neck though. “I.. I was looking for you.. your room.” I correct myself, at least I’m honest. “You wouldn’t have found me, dear.” His other hand shakes my mine off and slides underneath my skin, tightly gripping my waist. “You smell good, Julianne.” He utters in my ear as he pushes his face in the side of my neck. “I.. I took a shower.. it’s.. it’s my soap-” Harry cuts me off with a devious laugh. “I mean your blood, sweetheart, you smell divine.”
My eyes widen at his words – my heart has officially stopped beating.
We're on chapter 48 out of I don't know yet! But.. I know it will be more than fifty. I really am excited about this guys, we're getting really close to the good stuff - I mean I think it's all good, but the reallllyyy good stuff is coming!!!!! Feedback xx 60 or 70? ♥♥ updates soooon xx