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Beating Heart

f o r t y f i v e - alive.

//she is his literal everything, and she was delighted by that//


//Harry//

Julianne's stirring disturbed my slumber - my eyes open suddenly as I hear small whimpers leaving her mouth. I lean myself off the headboard, glaring down at her clearly unsettled body. I'm not laying beside her, I'm not even under the covers - I would never disrespect her like that. My hand graps her waist and I give her a small shake, trying to wake her.

She begins to mumble pleas of 'no' and 'stop'. I turn on the lamp quickly, just so she'll be able to see me when she wakes. "Julianne." I call out her name as I reposition myself on the bed so that I'm facing her now. "Julianne, wake up sweetheart." I shake her a little harder this time. She groans to me, rejecting me.

"No.. don't.. Har-" Her shaky voice stops mid-sentence. I press my hand to her forehead, she's rather warm but I know that has somewhat to do with my extreme body temperature, which has coated her all night long. I place a hand on her bicep area, shaking her slightly. "Baby." I sigh out, I'm beginning to become worried on why she won't wake. I can hear her heart and how its pounding hard in her ribcage. I can hear her breathing - I know she's alive.

"Pl-please." Julianne mutters out, her lips barely moving as she speaks. I jump suddenly as her hand wraps around my wrist, her nails digging deep into my skin. She's fighting me now, as I try to shake her again she starts to swat at me. "Wake up, Julianne." I raise my voice at her - only to help in the process of getting her to open her eyes.

"Harry! Please! Harry, Harry, HARRY!" Julianne releases a string of pleas of my name followed by a ear splitting scream. "Julianne!" I return her yell, shaking her body roughly. I yank her off the bed, her body limp. Suddenly the door swings off, the light switches on, and footsteps fill the room.

"What is going on?!" Perrie asks with a loud, worried tone. I ignore her as I stand from the bed, keeping a hold of her body so she doesn't fall over. I hear more people coming in the room, but Julianne is my main priority. I push my arm under her knees and lift her up. Quickly I sit down on the bed and sit her in my lap, her upper body falling completely against me.

"Please wake up." I mumble in her ear as I hold her close to me - I've never been so damn worried. "C'mon baby.. wake up." She's fallen quiet once again, her hand slowly moving towards my abdomen. She clutches my shirt in her fist, pulling herself even closer to me. "Stop.. please." She whispers against my chest, her voice muffled.

"What's the matter?" Sophia and Zayn soon file in the room - I mentally thank God that a majority of them are still asleep. Niall and Perrie are standing in the corner, fright and confusion floods everyone in the room - but mostly me. "She.. she started.. freaking out and.. and I.. She.. She won't wake up." I tell them with a shaky, nervous voice. I grip her waist, trying my best to keep myself close with her.

Out of literally nowhere her beautiful eyes pop open and she looks up at me - fear coating her blue irises. "Juli-" I furrow my brows as she cuts me off with a sob, "Let me go!" She cries out, her eyes flooding with tears. I notice she's looking past me, at the ceiling. She's delusional.…

Before I could stop her, she jumps off my lap and hurries to the door. Zayn goes to grab her arm, but I know that we need to let her live it out - whatever exactly 'it' is. "Stop! Just let her go." I say, his hand falls just as Julianne flees the room. "You dumbass! She'll run off!" Zayn raises his voice - even though he knows he can't go agaisnt my command. "Sophia, come with me. The rest of you.. stay in the house." I sigh in frustration as I leave the room, Sophia following my tracks as I head to the back door.

"Harry? What's wrong?" Sophia says, gasping for air as if my quick past has tired her already. "Nightmare. I woke her up.. she was still in shock." I say as I reach the kitchen - the back door is wide open and the rising sun is blazing low in the sky. "Stay here." I mumble as I step over the threshold, my pace fast now as I try to get to her.

Julianne has made it half way across the back lawn, heading for the edge of the thick forest but I know she'll stop before even thinking about running into the woods. A frustrated huff comes out of me as she trips over the air and falls on the damp grass. I run over to her, praying to God for an answer on what to do. Julianne is still crying and pleading to be 'let go'.

Suddenly, a wave of reality washed over me - she dreamt about her mother, which eventually led to the appearance of her abusive father. My angel is trapped in her own Hell - inside her mind, lost with no way out. Once I've reached her, I fall to my knees and throw a leg over her, straddling her to still her thrasing body.

"Baby, Julianne." I call out as my hands cup her , holding her head in place. Her puffy eyes stare up t me, frightened and terrified by someone who isn't even here. "I hate you! You killed Mom!" She patheically sobs out, this poor girl is falling apart underneath me. "It's me, baby, it's Harry. Look at me." I lower my self closer to herface so she could get a good look.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Julianne. It's me, sweetheart. It's just me." I keep my voice on a soft, soothing level as I speak.
"Harry." Julianne breathes out carefully, her wrapping around my wrist in a much gentler manner than last time. "It's me, baby." I nod a little before removing myself from her. I lean down beside. her, my elbow digging in the ground. "It's just me."

*+*+*

//Julianne//

My mind is still slightly spinning from earlier - God only knows what really got into me, what mad me do that. Sophia spoke with me privately, she told me that Harry is kind of taken back by what happened. He was terrified, because he couldn't wake me up. I heard his voice - every word he said - but it was mixed with my dream, I couldn't wake up.

He's now locked away in his room, Sophia said it's for the best right now. He needed to cope, and I need to get my head wrapped around what really happened.

"Here, honey. Extra sugar." Perrie smiles sweetly at me as she sits the glass of tea in front of me. I return the smile before she goes to sit down across from me. "Are you doing okay right now?" Gemma asks me, we don't really speak much but she's concerned for me right now. "I um.. I don't know." I admit to them, there's no need to lie.

"Can you recall anything you dreamed about?" Sophia questions curiously, her hands folded on the table as she waits for a reply. I sit back in the chair, my eyes falling shut as I think about that. Images flash through my mind as I remember the horrible dream.

"First.. It was just about my mom.. but somehow.. it revolved around my d-dad and.. and the things he done to her." I pause as it hits me again - everything that went wrong in my life reoccured in my dream and it's killing me. "But.. then it started storming.. and he.. he left me.. and I.. I could have swore it was real." I hesitated to speak but I knew it okay to talk to them. "I can't explain.. how it felt." My heart stings as my body is reminded of the terrible pain I experienced in my dream.

"Can we talk, Julianne?" Harry's voice filled the room. In the same moment I felt my veins freeze over - nervousness attacking me. "You can stay here if you want." Sophia whispers softly, her hand sitting on my knee know - reminding me of the talk we had earlier, privately of course. Sophia promised that if I ever needed anything, or if I needed to get things off my chest just to come and talk to her.

That made me feel like I have someone to trust - like I used to have. My mother is gone now, and I get that, but it's hard to trust anyone. Yet I know Sophia is a good person..


I slowly shift my head, my eyes hit hers. "If you don't want to then don't." She says softly. I shake my head at her, I never said that. "It's fine." I mutter as I stand from my chair. She smiles lightly at me, she probably wanted me to stay but yet we both know it's better if I talked about it with him.

My eyes trail to the hallway - there he stands against the doorframe, his ankles crossed. I swallow harshly, I bet he's been there for the longest, I know he heard me whether he was in here or not. "Hey." He says in a light voice as I approach him. "Hey." I mumble back as he extends his hand to me. I place my hand in his and he slides his fingers between mine.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asks me with a slight smile, pulling me closer to him. Now I have to lift my head in order to see him. My eyes find his once again and I return the soft gesture of a smile. "I'm okay now.. now that you're here." I admit as I squeeze his hand. He does the same as a reply before nodding his head towards the hallway. "Let's go to your room." He insists. I agree with a nod seconds before he starts the short trip to my door.

We make it into my room shortly after, Harry locks the door behind us as our hands part. I sit down on the edge of the bed and patiently wait for him to speak. He strolls over towards me, hos knees knocking against the floor as he kneels at the foot of the bed, his hands on the sides of my thighs. "I know you dreamt of your Mom.. but you know I'd never leave you like that, baby. That was only a dream." He says with a sigh, I can tell he's nervous, at the same time he's afraid of talking about this and I entirely understand his feelings.

"You don't get it.. You never will." I shake my head lightly, the truth matters at all times - especially now. "Yeah, I really do." He rolls his eyes at me, his hands slide to my hips, grasping them and holding me still as if I were bouncing around. "The only person you loved left you.. and you don't want to face that ever again." Harry states, his intense stare burning through me.

"You don't understand.. My mom was my only friend.. She was the only person that cared for me.. And.. and loved me." My eyea fall to my lap, how am I finding the damn courage to talk about my mother? "Julianne, I want to make this better-"

"Harry, there is nothing you could ever do to make me feel better. My mom is gone, and she's never coming back. Stop wasting your time on me." I shove his hands away from my body as I stand up, leading myself to the window, where the curtains are pulled back and the glass is shining like crystals.

"I know your mom is gone but I promised her I'd never leave you, Julianne." Harry's voice gets closer to me as my heart absorbs his words. There couldn't be a way.. He didn't know my mother..

"I promised her I'd never leave you. She knew that she would be leaving this earth early. I made a promise to keep you safe." I turn around so I'm now facing him, still trying to comprehend his words. Harry gives me an softened look, like he's finally seeing what's gotten me so bothered. "I met your mother when she was just a teenager. She was the first person I met when I came here." Harry informs me, at first I deny it, but then I remember his age and his enhanced lifestyle.

"I believe it's time we have a talk." Harry stands in front of me now, looking down at me. He's right, there are a lot of things he needs to explain to me. "I knew this day would come." He mumbles mainly to himself as he walks past me, slightly bumping me. I glup harshly as I turn to face him again. His hand is pressed against the glass of the window. I stay where I am and keep myself focused on his words.

"I met Kristen when she was only sixteen.. Back then I could'a swore she was the one." Harry starts, sighing softly afterwards. I place myself on the edge of the bed, listening closely with full attention on him. "We were best friends, we done everything together, we were completely inseparable from each other." His hand slides off the window and into his pocket. His eyes stay fixed on the outside view, but I begin to wonder if he's day dreaming about the past. Reliving everything, yeah I'm good at that too.

"She fixed me.. I stopped drinking like a mad man. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a glass of rum and coke every now and then." Harry's small chuckle made my heart flutter. "A few years passed.. and she introduced me to your father. I was extremely jealous, only because I thought she was the one I was meant for. I just couldn't figure out why I hadn't imprinted on her yet." He shrugs his shoulders at the thought.

"I knew she didn't love me that way, and I surely knew my love for her was nothing more than a friend, a sibling even.. Yet the gravitational pull was incredible. She had something I needed, but then I didn't know what it was." Harry turns to me, his eyes layered with water - he's holding back the tears. "My jealously got a billion times worse when she told me she was pregnant with you." His lips curl into a small smile, his eyes lingering on the floor.

"Due to the heavy differences I shared with your father.. I couldn't come visit her in the hospital when you were born. However, once she returned home your dad went back to work and it was much easier for me to come while he was gone. He wasn't very fond of me." Harry's eyes roam to mine, he locks an intense stare with me now. "The day I met you.. was the best day of my life." He takes a few steps closer to me. As I gaze into his eyes, my heart got pinched as I witnessed the single tear trail down his cheek.

"You looked up at me and I felt it. I felt my head spin, my heart stop, my entire soul just.. just lit up. Finally, I felt like I had a purpose in life." A nervous smile spreads over his lips as I stand and make my way over to him. "I promised your mom I'd never leave you, baby. And I would never break that promised." Harry's large hands cupped my face and he leaned down to me, those pink, plump lips brushing mine.

"I've been on this earth for a long time, but Julianne, with you in my life.. I finally feel alive." And with those words, he pushes his lips onto mine and we lead into a blissful, sweet kiss.

Finally, my heart is beating.

Notes

EXCUSE ERRORS. ITS 2:11 am! X)

Quick a/n ! (1) I have definitely decided to continue on further than what I internationally planned!!! (2) FLICKER IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN ❤ so proud. (3) If there is EVER a time something in the story confuses you do not be afraid to ask me and NEVER be afraid to state youe opinion!

//updates soon!!! Feedback please!!\\

Comments

@brianna.smith
I totally understand!!! Mine are older but dealing with what I am with Matthew is such a struggle..

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
It’s a struggle lol xxxx

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

@brianna.smith
Absolutely you and Tessa are my two favorite people ever. Tess doesn’t get on anymore she has a baby now. But I admire how you juggle everything with Faith Leah and the twins... you’re an amazing person. :) xx

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
I've always loved & appreciated your support! xxxxx thank you for all the love honey!

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

IDK how i missed this update but it's fantastic the time jump goes in smoothly. I am in love with this sotry too!! and i forgot to tell you congrats on the wins.. I knew when i saw your name on the ballots you'd win for sure!! you never fail to amaze me you're writing is sensational as always. i am so glad that i've gotten to know you more than just a fan but as a true friend the past 4 years. i love you B keep up your great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/18/19