f o r t y o n e - droplets.
//I promise you forever, and I mean it//
A week. A long dreadful week. It's been one entire week since I last saw him, since I could breathe right. Where he went off to, I was never told. The reason for a disappearance, I will never know.
I haven't had contact with barely anyone all week long - Niall has attempted to convince me to join them for meals but I've ended up only eating very little while hiding myself in this room.
Even though I'm in a house full of people, I feel lonely thanks to his absence.
I lift myself off the bed, my hair is all over my head and my eyes are barely opened. The soft pink colored, silk nightgown is loose on my body, one side of the collar has fell past my right shoulder. This gown is another suggestion from Perrie - this time I actually like it.
My aching feet carry me to the window. Each of my hands grab the curtains and I yank them open - the blaring sunlight blinding me suddenly. I wince at the brightness as I turn away from the window. The sun is sparkling in the sky, a reminder that it's day time.
Despite the beauty of the mid-morning, I can't keep staring at the yellow fire in the sky.
My eyes roam over the room - trying to find something to occupy my mind with. I've already reorganized the closet, and I've already written enough in my journal.
Suddenly my attention freezes and my eyes drop to the spot in front of the door. There, on the dusty flooring, sat a perfectly folded over piece of paper. I gulp slowly as I tip toe over to it's location - soon dropping to my knees as I reach it.
I grab the paper with a gentle touch, careful not to bend it in any way. A smile slowly appears over my lips as I recognize the handwriting on the paper. In black ink, dug into the paper diagonally is my name. A small, excited laugh escapes my mouth as I open it, that same handwriting in the inside.
I came back late last night. I was going to wake you but you looked so peaceful. So I let you be and wrote this instead. I'm sorry I suddenly disappeared. I know I'm such an ass for doing that. But you have to understand darling, sometimes I just have to get right with myself.
I know it seems stupid, maybe one day I can explain it better.
Don't worry, it won't happen again for a while. I have you now, and I realized that you make me sane - that I don't need to run off to feel at peace with everything.
I will come get you around noon, there's something I want to show you.
All my love, darling.
Beautifully written at the bottom of the letter was his name - the word I adore so much. My entire day has been made just by this note. I'm glad he has revived what seems to be "our thing" - gosh, that is so cliché.
I gasp as the door swings open, a peppy and bright Perrie revealed to me as I look up. "What a' you doing on the floor?!" She asks worriedly, her knees soon hitting the ground in front of me. "Are you alright?" She nervously stares into my eyes, her hand grasping one of mine.
"No. I mean.. yes.. I.. I'm fine." I assure her with a light smile. She furrows her eyebrows at me. I slowly place my hand behind my back, not wanting her to take notice of what I'm clutching.
"You seem.. off. Are you sure you're fine? Do I need to get Har-" "No!" I blurt out, fear sneaking up my spine at the thought of seeing him so soon - while looking like a total slob.
"Okay?" She nods slowly, her hand releasing mine as she rises to her feet. I follow her motions, keeping my hand hidden from her sight.
"We have some lunch if you're hungry." Perrie grabs the door knob as she prepares for her exit. "Okay." I mumble back, my shyness coming into play again - mostly because I know Harry will be here soon, or so I hope so at least.
"Have fun with your love letter, honey." Perrie winks at me before shutting the door and leaving me awaiting my friend's arrival. I feel the heating of my cheeks as I let it all sink in - either she saw it, or she knew before she came in here. What if Harry told her? Or what if she saw him?
My attention moves down to my appearance - I can not let him see me like this. I skip over to the dresser and pull open the fourth drawer - where the regular t-shirts are. I pull out a pastel purple shirt and pull open the fifth drawer to grab a pair of blue jean shorts.
I want to look relaxed, but definitely better than I do at the moment. Why is my heart racing?
Hesitating, I stand still outside her door with my hand wrapped around the knob. I take in a few deep breaths, not able to keep myself collected at the moment. Relax yourself, she's not going to be upset with you, she's dying to see you. These words I'm repeating in my head are beginning to seem false to me.
Carefully, I turn the knob and push the door open slowly. My eyebrows sudden drop in confusion - what the hell?
"Julianne?" I call out as I step into the room, leaving the door wide open behind me. Where is she at? "Harry?" Perrie's voice filled my ears as she appeared in the doorway. I look over at her, only to see her amused face.
"Where is she?" I panick suddenly, a nervous hand racing through my tangled hair. "Calm down, Romeo. She's in the bathtub." She smirks gently at me, nodding her head towards the bathroom across the hall.
"She didn't have to get all dressed up. We aren't even leaving the house." I feel myself smiling at just the thought of my sweet angel. God, I'm dying inside - seven full days without hearing her voice or seeing those pretty eyes. Last night was the first time I had seen her since I vanished.
I miss the way her cheeks hint with red when I catch her staring at me, and the way she softly grins when she first sees my presence. I adore the way her beautiful voice stays stuck in my head, her gorgeous self is all my eyes see.
"Harry?" Perrie's fingers snap in front of my face, grapping me out of my trance. "What?" I sigh lightly, sorta bumped that she distracted me from my thoughts - those beautiful thoughts.
"I've said it four times already, but what are you going to tell her.. about where you went?" She questions me, constantly so nosy. "Don't worry about it." I shake my head lightly, not wanting her to know every damn thing.
"No need for the 'tude, honey." She laughs out, leaning against the door frame. I throw her a smirk, she knows I'm just picking. My focus changes to something else - Julianne's unmade bed.
"You people could fucking help out with her." I insist with a huff as I make my way over to the bed. "For your information, mister, we tried all week to come in here and ninety-nine percent of the time the damn door was locked." Perrie retorts, easily defending herself.
"There's a key. I'm not going to put her in a room with a lock and not have a damn key for the door. I'm not fucking stupid." I roll my eyes to myself as I pull the numerous blankets off the bed.
"Yeah, and that key is on a chain around your neck. Dumbass." Perrie slams the door suddenly, leaving me by myself in the room.
I keep my thoughts to myself as I dress the bed in new sheets. Soon afterwards, I lay all the covers back on the bed neatly - poor thing must he freezing at night. Next, I fluff up the pillows and place them against the head board. I smile proudly at my nice work.
Julianne and I have to have a long, deep talk soon. Mostly because I left, but also because Niall called me earlier this week and said she had been barely eating - that's a big issue.
I'm definitely not mad at her, I could never be. She's my angel, she'll never be guilty in my eyes. Besides, it's nothing extremely bad, I just care a lot about her health and I-
"HARRY?!" A high pitched screech filled the room. I spin around towards the door and my jaw literally falls to the ground.
There she stands in the doorway, flustering face and skin covered in water droplets. Those long, gorgeous blonde locks are pulled up into a bundle on top of her head, and her cheeks are on fire.
Nothing clothing her but a fluffy white towel.
"I.. I'm s-sorry. I.. I didn't know you'd be.. na- uh.. not dressed." I nervously tripped over my own words while staring at her beauty - keeping my eyes on her face, not her beautiful, milky-white skin. Fuck, she drives me insane.
"Fuck.. I- sorry." I mentally hurt myself as I turn my back to her, not wanting her to feel like I'm staring, even though I am. "It's oh-okay. I.. didn't know you were in here." Her voice is soft behind me but my enhancements allow me to pick it up.
I hear the patter of her bare feet on the floor as she crosses the room, reaching the closet door quickly. "Pl-please don't.. don't l-look." Julianne pleads in a mumble anxiously as I hear the tow softly drop on the floor.
My mind is screaming at me - trying to get me to focus on something other than the sound of her pounding heart or her heavy breaths. But it's so damm hard not to hear her, especially since my entire soul is obsessed with her.
I desire to turn around and witness the innoncent beauty, as the water droplets roll down her body, dripping onto the floor carelessly. I want to watch her pull the band from her hair and shake it out, letting it fall down her back.
I want to observe the deep caving in the small of her back, and the full curve of her bottom - she's heavily blessed back there. I don't mind it though, I find it attractive - and plus, it's more to hold.
How can I ignore the girl that became my entire world? I can't, because it's impossible.
It's killing me - having to keep this great distance between us. Kristen warns me that her so called husband would go crazy if he found out someone was coming over while he was at work. I only listen to her because I know it's safe for her and her daughter.
I'm only allowed to see Julianne while she's sleeping - this is a rule Kris and I made together. It's much safer for the little girl, we don't want her saying anything about me being over to her father because both of their lives would be in great danger.
Kristen leads me to the bedroom, the door was already opened. It's been a long time since I've been in here - well that Kristen is aware of.. Mostly we meet up somewhere, usually during the little one's nap time so she's asleep when I'm around.
"He's getting worse, Harry. I.. I don't know how long I will be alive." Kristen bluntly states as she sits down in the old rocking chair in the corner of the room, holding the bedtime storybook that was occupying the space previously.
"Don't say things like that." I sigh softly, my fingers carefully pushing a loose strand of hair behind my angel's ear. "I'm serious.. He's so.. insane." She huffs, I can hear the sadness in her tone.
I kneel down beside the small bed, resting my arms on the mattress as I gaze at that little princess. "I've told you a million times.. come and stay with me." I insist once more.
"No, I.. No, Harry." I should've known she'd get uspet over that, she always does. I stop the conversation from proceeding. I keep my eyes on the sleeping princess - her soft smile informs me that her dream is going we. She's five now - it doesn't even seem like she should be this old.
"Promise me something.. please." Kristen appears beside me, her hand softly grabbing mine. "Anything." I nod a few times, turning my head to look at her. Her eyes are brimming with tears, I hate seeing her cry.
"If anything ever happens to me.. you'll watch over her. But.. but don't reveal yourself until it's absolutely necessary. I want her to grow up normal.. I want her to.. to-" Kristen stops herself as she begins to sob, her forehead falling on my shoulder. I shift so that my arms go around her, with her body against my chest.
"You know I'll always protect her. No matter what, Kris. Forever."
Hmm.. Where do ya guys think he vanished to?? ;))
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