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Beating Heart

t h i r t y s e v e n - safe.

//Julianne//

My heartbeat is pounding in my ears - my throat is dry from the cool wind and my eyes are puffy from my crying. I've been runing for a few minutes, uncertain of the time and my location.

I recognized the two creatures - I assume it was Liam and Zayn. I only ran because the constant fear of Liam hurting me again got worse when I saw him approach me in that form.

Harry. I can't find him anywhere - nor can I hear any growling or howling. My teeth are chattering and my body is shaking. I don't know why but I can't stop craving Harry - it's driving me insane.

"Harry?" I call out as I hear the rustling of feet dragging through broken twigs and brush. I bite down hard on my lip, drawing blood in the process. The metal taste covers my tongue and I cringe at it - that's disgusting.

"Harry please.." My knees begin to wobby as I slow myself down some - running isn't for me. I grab ahold of a tree as I stop myself. "You said you.." My voice cuts off as I tumble to the ground, my body a mess on the grass.

"You said.. you wouldn't leave me." I mutter out - my words fade into the breeze, my eyes flutter and eventually they shut.

He said he wouldn't leave.. but he did.

The darkness of my eyelids is all I see, no images are in my head. An unsteady rhythm takes over my heart. "Harry.." I whisper his name ever so softly - my energy and patience decreasing rapidly.

"Julianne!" My head starts to get dizzy - that isn't him, it's only an illusion. Don't fall for the stupid mind tricks.

"Julianne! What the hell?! Where did you go?!" Harry's booming voice echoed around me, but my eyes never opened - this can't be real. I have to wake up from this nightmare.

I shudder as I feel heavy drops of water fall onto the top of my head - the thunder is rumbling above me, making my heart shake around in my chest.

"Julianne!" Harry's roaring voice lets out a yell - now this time I believe it's real. My head lifts and my eyes part - all I see is the moonlight peeking through the storm clouds and the dark shadows of the night.

My heartbeat rapidly increases as the sound of feet stomping on the ground fills the rainy air. My eyes shift to the left of me, where the sound is coming from. I stare intensively at the location - hoping for the best but still fearing the worst.

I gasp as a figure appears into my blurry view - the moon isn't bright at the moment. However, it still glows enough to shine light upon the features of the figure.

"Harry." His name softly slips past my lips. I take a few steps back from him - he looks derranged and bewildered at the same time as his eyes lock on my presence.

His hair is unruly and messy - his face has mud smeared on it as well as on his clothes and exposed skin. I gulp gently as he clenches his jaw at me - he doesn't appear to be pleased with me.

"Are you fucking insane?!" He screams out, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. My breath hitches in my throat - I never expected him to yell at me or even scold me for this. I thought I done a good thing, but apparently not.

"Something could have killed you!" Harry rushed over to me, his towering height frightening me. His eyebrows are drawn together and his lips are parted as he coldly gazes at me - anger swept over his face.

"Do you know how fuckin' scared I was when I got back to where I left you and you were gone?!" He yells out, rhetorically I assume. I swallow the lump in my throat as his hands grab onto my upper arms - his grip tight. Harry's eyes burn holes straight through mine, but he doesn't seem to notice nor care about the tears spilling down my face.

"I thought something fuckin' killed you, Julianne! You can't do shit like that! This little stunt you pulled almost fuckin' gave me a heart attack!" Harry's voice only gets louder as he stares down at me - our bodies are touching now that he's yanked me closer to me, a death grip still on my arms.

"You're fuckin' stupid. Why the hell did you leave?" Harry asks as his breathing gets heavier. My throat closes, no words able to form in my mouth. I don't know what to say or how to speak right now.

"Answer me, dammit!" Spit flies off of his tongue and onto my face. I flinch at the roughness of his new demeanor.

"I-I.. I-" Harry smacks his lips as a reaction to my stuttering. I gulp harshly, my heart is thumping so fast. "Just… fuckin' tell me." Harry says, clearly frustrated with my delay. "I.. left be-because.. because I-"

"Julianne, spit it out already!" Harry bursts out - interrupting me yet again. "If you'd shut up for a minute I could freaking talk!" I whine to him, my eyes stinging with tears and fear. "Don't fuckin' tell me to shut up." Harry warns through gritted teeth.

"Harry!" Zayn's voice broke out into the commotion. "Let her go!" Liam appeared beside Zayn and I nearly stopped breathing - was this possible? Has Liam changed.. does he care?

"Get the hell away from me." Harry snaps as Zayn approaches us. I brace myself for Harry's continuous screaming. "Pl-pllease.. St-stop." I whisper into the sky - the rain is just faintly falling, but I expect more to come soon.

"You're hurting her." Liam snatches Harry's right arm off my body and I let out a sigh of relief - the pressure is gone, blood is flowing again.

"No I'm not." He bitterly declares, his free hand attaching to my waist. He's never been rough with me, the few times he has touched me his hands were gentle and caressing - not hard and threatening.

"Y-yes you a-are." I mutter to him, my eyes flickering up to meet his gaze. His eyebrows slowly relaxed as he stared into my watery eyes. I watched his jaw unclench and his tongue quickly wet his lips. His eyes softened the moment a few more tears fell out of my eyes.

Harry removed his tight hold on my arm and instead pressed his palm against my cheek, cupping my face. His thumb wiped away the tears as they fell - his beautiful jade orbs never looking away from me.

"I'm so sorry.. I.. I don't understand… I don't know.. what." He pauses and takes a deep inhale - slowly letting it out. "What got in to me." He finishes with a nervous look appearing on his face.

Carefully, I placed my hand on his side and leaned my forehead against him - right where that big tatto sat on his stomach, I haven't seen it clearly, only through his shirt. I slide my arms around his broad, muscled body and lock my hands together at the small of his back.

"I got scared." I speak out, cutting up the harsh silence. My voice gets muffled by Harry's shirt. Harry's hand pushes against the back of my head, keeping me close to him. His arm wrapped around my back and his other hand grabbed my waist. I feel safe - for some odd reason.

"We found her.. while we were phased. We probably scared her." Zayn sighs, finally admitting what I tried so hard to say moments ago. "I was so teriffied. I didn't know where she ran off to." Harry released a deep breath while he spoke, his fingers combing through my hair.

I've seen him in his delicate and gentle times, I've seen his rough and dangerous second form, I have heard his anger spill out, and I've seen how soft and worried his eyes can get. I feel like I know him, yet I don't at the same time.


*+*+*



I slip into a nightgown that Perrie recently got for me. To my utter surprise, I actually like it. It goes to my midthighs and is covered in tiny pink hearts. The silky white material feels nice against my skin. It's quite cute and girly - I'm not really a dress person but Perrie is slowly molding me into one.

I'm now under the heavy covers in the freezing cold room, I adore the cold so it's still not a bother to me. I took a shower after being covered in dirt and rain, which formed mud on my skin. I feel refreshed and ready for a good night's rest.

The sun will be rising in a matter of minutes, or so I was told by Sophia when she helped me get prepared for bed. She made up the bed for me, which I extremely appreciated.

I lie back, my head falling into the heap of pillows. I smile to myself as I snuggle with the blankets and close my eyes. Harry promised me he will come see me after he's out of the shower and I'm ready for bed.

However, I'm beginning to believe that promises are not a good thing for us - he broke a promise that night and never visited me and I shattered the promise I made tonight, about not running off.

It's been an hour or so since our falling out in the middle of the dark woods. I never intended to disobey his words, fear washed over me and I panicked.

A knocking sound filled the silent room - sending tingles down my spine. The door slowly creaks open, dim light pouring in to the room from the hallway. I see the broad, tall figure - there's only one person it could be.

"Are you tired, love?" Harry's deep voice rumbled, his body approaching closer to the edge of the bed. I look up at him, the darkness has taken over most of his features.

"Yeah.. but.." I sigh softly to myself as I lean up, my hand pressing into the mattress behind me to hold my weight. "But what?" Harry asks curiously. I take in a deep breath, my nerves are on fire at the moment.

"Can you stay?" I mumble the question softly, as if saying it any louder would be sinful.

Harry chuckled gently at my words. His hand carefully lifts mine from my blanket covered lap and he laces his finger with mine. "Of course I'll stay, my love." He nonchalantly replies.

Harry squeezes my hand a few times before settling himself on the edge of the bed. I lie back down, my eyes trailing to stare at the moonlit ceiling.

"I've been thinking about placing little stars on the ceiling.. Y'know, the ones that glow in the dark." The bed creaks just a tad as Harry leans his back against the wooden headboard, his large hand still clutching my much smaller one.

"Would you like that, sweetheart? A bit more light in here." Harry asks, I can hear the soft smile in his voice. I look up at him, the side of his face is so chiseled and sharp. The moon lights him up, beautiful and mysterious. "Yes.. I would." I mumble, my eyes glued to his shadowed figure.

"Eventually, I hope to get you a vanity.. decorations.. more clothes.. and whatnot." Harry informs me of his list, my eyebrows raising at the amount he's willing to do for me. "You don't.. have to." I sigh lightly, my eyelids closing shut.

"But I want to.. I want to give you the best.. or at least something close to it." His voice is low and is filled with a little doubt. I wanted to jump into his arms and tell him he was all I wanted, all my body craves, all my heart desires.

Yet, I stay still beside him.

"I know you didn't have the best upbringing.. so I want to make your life good now. A lump begins to form in my throat - how would he know anything about my past? Why would he care?

I decide to ask about what he said. I take in a large amount of oxygen, while getting my words together. "What do you me-"

"Harry!" Perrie's voice yells out as the door swings open. The light cuts on and I snatch my hand from Harry's to shield my sensitive eyes. He hurries over to her, just as confused as I am. I sit up so I can observe better.

"What?!" Harry asks, panic to his tone. Perrie gasps for air, obviously overwhelmed by something. "Louis." she speaks. Both of Harry's hands turn into fists and he roughly pushes past her. Perrie faces me and shakes her head shamefully.

What's happening this time? Just when I thought everything was making sense, something comes and messes that up for me.

Notes

Clifffhannggerr again! Updates soon and feedback pleasr!

Comments

@brianna.smith
I totally understand!!! Mine are older but dealing with what I am with Matthew is such a struggle..

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
It’s a struggle lol xxxx

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

@brianna.smith
Absolutely you and Tessa are my two favorite people ever. Tess doesn’t get on anymore she has a baby now. But I admire how you juggle everything with Faith Leah and the twins... you’re an amazing person. :) xx

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
I've always loved & appreciated your support! xxxxx thank you for all the love honey!

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

IDK how i missed this update but it's fantastic the time jump goes in smoothly. I am in love with this sotry too!! and i forgot to tell you congrats on the wins.. I knew when i saw your name on the ballots you'd win for sure!! you never fail to amaze me you're writing is sensational as always. i am so glad that i've gotten to know you more than just a fan but as a true friend the past 4 years. i love you B keep up your great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/18/19