t w e n t y s e v e n - normality.
//she craves the unknown//
It's still happening - my stomach is churning, my heart is racing, my mind is distracted because of him, and my entire body is aching for the graze of his fingertips or his palms. My ears are desperate to hear his dark voice. My entire body is ravenous - I'm craving him and I don't even know what he looks like. I can't help it.. I'm losing my mind, and every new thought popping in my head about him is killing me more and more.
My eyes dart to the door as I hear a few knocks. Perrie pops her head in and smiles as her eyes meet mine. "Good afternoon, love." She says cheerfully as she pushes the open.
My eyes widen at the number of bags in her hands. She comes in and sits everything on the floor. Sophia soon follows behind her, with even more bags.
"So we got you some new things." Sophia chuckles out. I smile gently at them. "You didn't have to." I mumble out as I fumble with the hem of my shirt. Neither of them respond to my words. I start to wonder if they even heard me but Sophia's playful eyeroll soon showed me they did.
"We can't help it! Shopping is an addiction." Perrie groans lightly as she shoves her hand into a bag. I give off a small laugh. My eyes widen as she pulls out a piece of clothing. "We fell head over heels for this one. Do you like it?" She asks with a bright grin.
I observe the detail of the sundress - the coral fabric had a cute design on it and it seemed very flowy and light. "Yeah.. I really like it." A smile plays on my lips as I admire the dress.
"The whole off the shoulder thing is a tad risky but we believe you can pull it off." Sophia smirks lightly at me as she begins to empty bags on the end of the bed. "Hopefully one day you will be able to come with us." She says with an unsure shrug. Yeah, hopefully.
My eyes drop to look at the dress on my body - the black and white polka dot pattern contrasts with my skin, reminding the world of how pale I am. I can taste the sweet lipstick in my mouth, I'm not used to being all dolled up. Perrie done it all for me - it's not that much though.
Niall opens the door with a pleased grin plastered on his face. My eyes trail over his body - he cleans up nicely. He is dressed in a soft green colored button down shirt - the sleeves are pushed up to his elbows and the top two buttons aren't closed, revealing the hair that sat on his chest.
"We only do this once every few weeks.. So don't expect us to be classy all the time." Niall takes a hold of my hand and gladly yanks me out of the room. My feet stumble over the threshold. I let off a smile at Niall's words.
We begin the walk down the hall - the sound of pure laughter and enjoyment filling the normally silenced house. "You look really nice, by the way love." Niall whispers to me before we step into the kitchen - all heads whipping in our direction from the dining room.
"Oh my goodness! You look so cute!" Perrie squeals as she jumps up from her chair and scurries over to us. Niall lets out a playful sigh as Perrie pulls our hands apart - clearly wanting me all to herself. "Thanks." I mutter under my breath. I actually don't know why she's so shocked - she picked the dress out for me to wear tonight.
"Meat's about done." I hear an all too familiar voice speak as the back door closes shut. My hands wrap around Niall's elbow and I decide it will be best for me to not be seen - so I hide my body behind Niall, keeping my hard grip on his arm.
"There's nothing to worry about, sweetheart." Niall automatically notices my fear as he looks over his shoulder at me. I shake my head a few times - I'm not sure I want to be in the same room as that man. "Everything will be alright, I promise." Niall pries my hands off his elbow. I was about to whine in protest but he spun around to face me.
"He's more civil when Sophia is here." Niall whispers to, clearly able to tell why the hell I was so worried. "No worries, darling." Perrie gives me an assuring smile before excusing herself back to the group's previous conversation.
My eyes peer over Niall's shoulder once I'm on my tip toes, trying to get a good view of the dining room. I see Perrie sit down beside Zayn, his arm slides around her and she leans in to his body. I notice Louis's presence beside Zayn and Gemma sat beside Louis. Sophia across from Louis, I highly assume the spot beside her was for her fiance. There sat two empty seats on the left side of Sophia. On A chair was placed at both ends of the the - on Gemma's end was the little girl, Sara, and on Perrie's end was an empty chair.
Niall grabbed my hand and tugged me behind him as he walks into the dining room. My heart began to race as we entered through the open doorway. I have never been in a room with all of them at once before. I guess there's a time and place for everything, right?
"I'm glad you're able to join us." Zayn have me a warm smile as Niall pulled out a chair for me. I gladly accepted it and sat down - allowing him to scoot me closer to the table. He places himself in the chair between me and Sophia. "Me too!" Sara chirped from the end of the table. I look towards her and give her a small smile.
"She's been dying to see you." Gemma's tone is laced with a laugh. I can literally feel Niall's stare burn right through me. "Are you alright? If you don't quit that you won't have any fingernails left." Niall shifts in his chair to face me better. My head drops and I see that I'm once again absentmindedly picking at my nails.
"Just nervous." I breathe out, my heart is pounding in my chest and my nerves are on the brink of exploding under my skin.
"We promise.. Julianne, nothing bad will happen." Louis speaks for the first time since I sat down.
"Trust me.. I want to believe you." I mumble out but I knew it was loud enough for all of them to hear because the next to reply to me was surprisingly Sara.
"No one will be mean to you, Julianne, because if they do my brother will-" Sara's words are cut off by Gemma's voice, she's obviously not keen on the topic. "Be quiet, Sara."
"Julianne already knows." Sophia said in a soft tone. I gulp harshly, not entirely concerned about their conversation - mostly I want to know why I'm supposed to believe everyone when they say Liam won't try anything. I assume he got a warning after our first encounter and be obviously didn't care because we met again.
"Can I get some help?" Liam's spine-shivering voice spoke out behind me and my entire body froze. Niall goes to stand up but I quickly clasp my hand around his wrist. "It'll be just a few minutes, honey. I'll be right back." Niall said with a light sigh as I released his hand. Louis and Gemma soon joined to help out with whatever Liam needed assistance with.
"He won't do anything, I promise. He behaves well when I'm with him." Sophia's hand caresses the top of mine and I glance over to see her leaning across Niall's chair. I give her a nod, mainly because I was too afraid to speak.
My mind drifted to the thought of Harry - I tried already to imagine how he looks but I have no clue at all. It's irritating not to know. He must have something I hide. If so, that's no surprise for me - this place is full of secrets.
Dinner consisted mostly of Zayn and Louis playfully throwing insults at each other - which fired up everyone into fits of cackles and bolts of laughter. Niall kept close to me, and Perrie was constantly passing me kind smiles. It was rather nice actually, so far everyone has stayed calm and just joked around.
"Still no luck, hm?" Louis says as Gemma returns to the table - at first I presumed she went to the bathroom but I guess not. "Nope.. He won't be joining us tonight." She sighs out a reply in a soft voice but I could clearly hear it and my mind darted to thought of him.
My eyes shift from looking in Louis's direction to the empty chair sitting diagonal to me - just inches from me. I bet he sits there, that is if he even eats with them.
In the back of my mind I could hear their conversation about this apparent "normality" and how, quote, "he isn't social".
To be completely honest about things, I didn't really care to hear what they were dicussing. Just the thought of him makes me nervous, probably because I have no clue what he even looks like - I can't even picture him in this chair because I truly don't know anything about his appearance other than knowing his skin is warm and soft, his voice is deep and raspy, his hands are large yet gentle with touch, and his lips are soft when pressed to my forehead.
I wish I could meet him again - and actually see him. But based on their words about him, my wish will never be granted.
"All because of her." Liam's voice catches my attention, he had to be referring to me. "Shut up." Sophia warned him but when I lean to look down towards them, his cold eyes met mine and I could greatly tell her words have no affect on him.
"Well it is." he shrugs, turning his gaze on the table now and not me. I scoot down in my chair some, trying my best to hide beside Niall. "If you don't hush you're going to get yourself into a load of shit." Zayn raises his eyebrows as emphasis. Him and Niall share a look before Niall shifts his head to look over at me instead.
"Just ignore it. He's an ass." Niall mumbles with an eyeroll, yeah I've already figured that one out. "And we can't help ya." Louis adds in, a smirk playing on his lips. Suddenly I get that feeling - like someone is staring at me. I literally can feel a pair of eyes crawling all over me and I can't resist the urge to look up.
To my surprise, I never met Perrie's bright eyes - she wasn't even facing me at the moment.
Slowly, only out of pure curiosity, I let my eyes linger over everyone at the table. Zayn was laced in a new conversation with Louis and Sophia, no where concerned with me. Gemma was having a quiet talk with Sara, whilst Liam was taking a drink of his beer. Niall was listening in on Sophia and the guys - no one was paying me any attention.. at least not anyone that's in this room.
I tried my best to keep things low key and not arouse any suspicion. Everyone continued with whatever had them occupied. I took the opportunity while I can - my body slowly rotates on the chair. I rest my arm on the back of the chair as my eyes scan what small section of the kitchen I could see.
My bottom lip began to quiver as I saw a dark shadow creep on the tile floor. "Juli-" Niall's voice as cut off by a loud crash just meters away from where we all sat at the table. The sound resembled shattered glass - it was an unquestionable fact, there's now one less piece of glassware in the cabinets.
Zayn shoots up and rushes to the kitchen, seconds later a deep sigh leaves his mouth. "S'alright, just an accident." Zayn's voice fills the rather silent house. Niall stands from his chair and turns to face, leaning down so that we are just a few inches apart.
"Stay here. Don't move." He gives me a stern expression before straightening himself. "Keep an eye on her." Niall gently slaps the back of his hand on Sophia's shoulder to get her attention. She looks up and nods a few times before he steps not into the kitchen to handle the issue.
"Dammit. Liam, c'mere!" Zayn calls out - within seconds he appears in the doorway and his face told me enough. I was a witness, just like all the others, of the scared state of mind he is in - literal fright. Zayn's lips were parted and his pupils are dilated.
"What is it?" Liam meets him and furrows is thick eyebrows. My breathing comes to a standstill - what happened on the other side of this wall? "He's drunk again.. and he isn't happy."
"Sara go to your room." Gemma says with a little force behind her voice. Sara quickly obliges and exits the dining room. "I'll block the door. We can't risk anything." Louis jumps up and rushes to the open doorway - there's no door to close off the room. He looks over his shoulder - his icy eyes stare right into mine. "Or anyone."
"Wh-what's.. goin' on?" I stutter out, my teeth soon chewing on my tongue afterwards. Perrie grabs my hand with both of hers and holds it tight. "Everything will be okay." she smoothly whispers out to me - for some odd I have this extreme uncertainty that things will definitely not be alright.
"Fuck off!" A loud voice booms suddenly, making my heart stop and my body jerk, my hand slipping from Perrie's. I know that voice - it belongs to the man I've longed to meet. "Harry." His name maneuvered past my lips and into the cool air.
Perrie locked her eyes with mine and licked her lips, focusing on what I was going to - or might be - saying next.
This immediate feeling washed through my body - flooding my veins with so much emotion.
It didn't take me long to understand that my heart was pounding so hard - I could hear it in my ears. My lungs were gasping for air and my head began to spin with memories of the other night - all my body is hankering is the sound of his deep voice and the touch of his hand.
This wave of courage slammed into me and I darted up from my chair and headed towards Louis - who sadly didn't let me get that far.
His arms wrap around me from behind, spinning on his heels to completely prevent me from seeing the commotion in the kitchen. I began pinching and scratching at his skin, trying to inflict some pain. "Julianne, stop trying to fight me." Louis huffed as I clawed at his inked arms. "I need to see him." I sobbed out as my knees grew weak on me.
Before I even realized it, my limp body was depending entirely on Louis's strength to hold me up. Tears fell rapidly from my eyes and I realized I was bawling like a pathetic child - which is exactly what I am. It's still not clear to me - why am I so attached to someone I have never even seen before?
"It's going to be okay, honey." Sophia's shaky hands cupped my cheeks and she lifted my head up some. "I never.. I never got to see.. to see him." I mutter to her, my eyes swelling and my throat is burning from the sobbing.
"I know baby, and I understand you want to but it isn't that simple, okay?" Sophia nods a few times to prove to me that she gets me - it almost seems like she's been in my shoes before.. Perhaps she has.
"But why.. why can't I?" I question whoever is willing to listen to my awful cries. "He isn't in a good state of mind right now." Louis says in ear, his grip still tight around my trembling body.
"Get her to bed." Zayn's voice invades the room seconds before he appears beside Sophia. "No. I.. I'm not tired." I sniffle at him, my eyes let go of a few flimsy tears - they were too weak to stay in.
"Sorry love, but it's an order." Zayn presents an apologetic look to me but I don't care to even break it down and study it - I am not tired and I refuse to be locked up this early. "You can't make me." I mumble under my breath, my strong inner demeanour is soon taking down by my shaky, nervous, weak self.
"S'not my order."
"We have to do something." Perrie sighs the moment I plop down on the couch beside her. "Nothing we can do. We can't stop him." I reply with a drug out exhale. Louis looks at me from the other couch, "They're talking about Julianne." he directs me on the right path of conversation.
"She's so attached to him.. yet she's never even seen him. Hiw does that work?" Gemma stated beside Louis - I swear those so have something going on behind closed doors but yet also I know that is none of my business...
"Her eyes didn't need to see him. Her heart felt it. She could tell he was different than say Niall or Zayn. She felt it. The connection is undeniable." Perrie explains what is probably the most reasonable claim and the truest as well.
She looks over at Zayn who was lost in thought beside her - he was a tad torn up over what happened earlier tonight. We all feel the same pain for Harry - yet we can't do anything but keep Julianne safe and keep him away from her for as long as he needs us to.
His commands are never to be disobeyed.
"Trust me when I say... Fate is real. Love is real. And Julianne felt the same thing that I felt when I met Zayn for the first time." She adds in as she grabs Zayn's hand and squeezes it tight. "Her mind is full of every word he said to her and her skin is constantly reminded of his touch.. She's longing to feel it again. Her heart continuously races.. and it feels like she can't breathe." Sophia breaks the silence, her eyes watering over.
"Poor girl.. It's quite impossible to resist it." Liam breathes out, taking us all by surprise - usually he doesn't really care about anyone's feelings other than Sophia of course. "We can't keep them part much longer... She might just lose her mind." Perrie gulps loudly as she stands up, releasing her grip on Zayn's hand.
"And he might just drink himself to death." Zayn follows her route and exits the living room - both clearly tired of discussing this.
We all know what is going on it we can't tell Julianne. It's a rule - and rules can not be broken. Especially the alpha's rules.
Updates soon -- expect a few different pov's soon -- all I'm going to say :)))
Soooo feedback?? xx