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Beating Heart

t w e n t y t h r e e - run.

//you can't conquer reality by running from it//

--

//Julianne//

A satisfied sigh left my mouth as I let the warm bath water take over my body. I lowered myself into the deep tub, stopping when the water reached my shoulders. My eyes close in pleasure as the warmth engulfs me and overpowers my every move. It feels wondrous, the bubbles add to the overall effect. The smell of sweet strawberries fills the room, as well as my nose.

I highly assume Perrie restocked the closet, she changes the shampoo and such every week to a new scent – and I have to say, I adore this strawberry cream smell. My day has been slightly stressful, Sophia left me with words to think on, words that have had my mind racing in a thousand different directions.

“I’m sick of this bullshit!” A voice yells outside of the bathroom door and my head bolts up, my eyes widening as I come to my senses and recognize the screaming. “She never done a thing to any of you!” There it goes again, echoing through the quiet darkness of the home.

Sophia.

“Stop fuckin’ screaming before he-” Niall’s voice is cut off by Sophia’s loud voice. “I don’t give a damn what he has to say!” Her voice bursts out, making me flinch lightly. I never thought she could scream that loud. Niall, gosh I haven’t seen him in what feels like ages.

I try to distract myself from their back and forth yelling. I’ve been in here almost an hour, perhaps it’s time to dry off. My hands grab the sides of the bathtub and I lift myself up, my knees wobbling and my legs aching from just lying in the bed all day long. I pull the plug and throw my leg over the side of the tub, my foot pressing into the fuzzy bathroom rug. I grab my towel from the floor as my other foot joins me on the mat.

I wrap the white towel around me, securing it under my arms, before stepping away from the tub. I soon find myself gazing in the mirror – the slight bags under my eyes are telling me that I’m depriving myself of sleep once again. I swallow harshly, my stomach is eating itself.

“You’re just a pathetic little bastard! Another puppet on his strings!” Sophia’s comment caught my attention, I raise my eyebrows at her words – harsh but I can tell she means them. I pull the hair tie from my hair, letting it fall down my back with a sigh falling from my lips. It feels nice to be refreshed and clean. I’m beginning to wonder who is this he they always refer to?

Perhaps he’s the thing above me always making so much racket. No, there’s no why a human is up there – a damn wild animal more like it. I smile gently to myself, I’m going to lose all my sanity in this place, especially if I continue to worry about the hides beyond my sight.

A sudden sharp gasp leaves my body as the sound of slamming door erupts into the house. I grip my towel hard as I walk over to the door, pressing my cheek against the cold wood to get a better listen. Heavy footsteps fill the hallway and I begin to chew on my lip, afraid that perhaps Liam has returned to throw is rage on someone else. To my surprise, the other side of the door grows silent, as if no one is there anymore.

I swear on my life this is some crazy, lunatic house.



* * *



My eyes flash open, the heavy noises above me have taken away my dreams once again.

It’s no surprise, it’s a shame to say I’m almost used to it now. I pull my body up, my back resting against the cool headboard. It’s pitch black dark, I can’t make out anything at the moment, just like the other times when I’m awoken at night – either by loud bangs or horrible nightmares. My eyes dart to the doorway, I can hear some sort of commotion out there. The little sliver of light beaming into the room distracted me, it’s never that bright..

“Sophia!” A deafening scream explodes just outside my door. I know that voice anywhere, even if it spoke harsh words to me. My heart is beating fast in my chest, what’s happening this time?

“She didn’t do anything!” Perrie’s voice cries out, I can imagine the heavy tears rolling down her rosy cheeks. “Stop screaming, Perrie! I’m going to go talk to him! Calm down!” Zayn, definitely one of the closest people to me at the moment, says in a loud, raised voice.

My lip starts to quiver as my mind drifts back to the conversation Sophia and I had – what if I got her in trouble? What if what she told me was forbidden information? There goes another one on the list – all because of me and my selfish needs. The words she spoke to me, the plea for me to run if I ever got the lucky chance, has been replaying in my mind for hours. Even in my dream, the words were circling my head and being screamed out as I ran through the dark forest.

You better run.

“I’ll take the blame! Please!” Perrie blurts out moments before I hear several pairs of feet race down the hallway, fading in the distance. My teeth catch my lip, keeping it steady, but no matter how hard I bite.. it’s still going to shake like a cold, lost puppy.

Run.. don’t stop.

My feet suddenly hit the ground, bringing me to my senses – I’m standing up now, my feet carrying me over to the door. I hold my breath, afraid that they could hear my noises behind this door. I press my forehead to the wood, my ears picking up on all the noise. Voices fill the cold silence, mixing together in all different tones. The words are smashed up, I can’t tell what’s being said or who’s mouth is letting the words out. Multiple pleas, a variety of begs.

No matter who’s begging you to stop..

Sophia’s voice continues to twirl in both my mind and my heart, reminding me of her key advice. I clench my jaw to keep from letting out any sighs or huffs, whether coated in fear or annoyance. I didn’t want to make one little sound, I can’t even bring myself to breathe heavily.

“Just go to bed! Everyone! Now!” Before this very moment, I never knew Niall could show that much authority or dominance, I had never heard him scream or make a threat – not until this moment in time. This loud, confusing, scary moment. My heart nearly stopped beating – what if he tried to come and check on me? What if he pushed the door open and knocked me on the floor? What would he do if he looked down and saw me laying on the dusty old floor, my eyes wide and my lungs heaving? What would Niall say to me? Would he be ashamed.. or angry with me?

“Sophia got herself into this.. it’s her turn to take the consequences.” I recognized Zayn’s low voice as it spoke out to whoever else was outside in the hallway. My eyes squeezed shut – I done this once again. She’ll get whatever Perrie got, and she’ll get attacked by whatever the hell grabbed Liam that night. Will she do as Perrie did and distance herself from me? Or will she go back into hiding like Liam?

Run as fast as you can.

Silence – it surrounds me once again. They’re all gone, no one left in the hallway. There are no footsteps, no screams, not even a small whisper or cough coming from someone’s lips. Nothing. I turn my body around, my back asking for support from the door. As my mind drifts off, mixed thoughts about my mother, Sophia, and whatever the hell this place is hiding from me, my ankles begin to grow weak underneath me. My knees shaky and my legs aching. A painful whimper fell from my lips as my butt hit the cold floor, my legs stretched out in front of me and my head thrown back against the door.

This is Hell, Julianne.

I have only found myself in true, real danger a handful of times. Once I got lost in the woods, it was the early weeks of summer and I was only about ten. I had wondered off from my usual spot near the small stream, my curiosity getting the best of me. Night crept on me, the shadows from the falling sun casting over the ground – slowly fading into the dark night. Eventually I found my way home, it wasn’t as far away as I had thought at first.

Then there were the times when the wild really came to threaten me. The memory of this one rainy afternoon still rings in my head, I was probably thirteen? I’m not really certain on the age I was at the time. My feet made me travel far into the woods, the high noon sun covered up by the storm clouds. All I had was a cheap rain coat and a pair of yellow rubber boots. My head began to spin and my eyes were getting dizzy – I was getting sick from the cold weather. I tripped over a tree root sticking up through the soil.

My face landed right into a puddle of nasty mud. I got to my knees seconds later, wiping my face free of the substance. My eyes trailed up from the ground and it left me staring at the presence of a black bear. They aren’t dangerous, as long as you keep away. But of course, me being the clumsy and stupid child I am, I stood up and walked closer in its direction. I caught its attention and it began to make threaten noises towards me.

Before I knew it, it was running fast from its far position, on a path straight to my body. My heart dropped and my body froze – what was I to do other than lose all my control? But in a quick blink of my eyes – I was saved. It was the same thing that saved my life when I was little and I came into a mountain lion’s claimed lands. I don’t like to remind myself of those times, because they scare me. My nightmares will be terrible tonight, I can already feel it inside of my body.

You don’t want to be here.

It hit me like ton of bricks falling from the shaking ceiling – dragging me from my memories and reminding me of what is happening right. Sophia wasn’t giving me advice, she was giving me a command. Whenever I got the chance I needed to do one thing and one thing only.

Run.

I drug my body off the ground, balancing myself once my feet agreed to keep me up. My hand ran up the wall, my fingertips dancing all over the chipping paint, searching for the switch. A shiver ran down my arm as my fingers brushed over the cold metal. I moved my hand up some, flicking the switch upward. The dim light enters the room and I decide to not make a waste of any time – especially when I’m not even sure on my new plan.

My hand threw the curtain aside, dropping to my knees in the closet just seconds afterward. I grab my back and shove my belongings in there, leaving behind all the nice things Perrie purchased for me and the things Niall stocked. Now’s not the time to think about them, last time I got distracted and I hesitated. This time, though, will be different. Much different. I refuse to let my eyes brim with tears. I won’t let my heart pull me to the thought of Perrie, Zayn, or even Sophia. I will not let the darkness frighten and overpower me. I’m leaving this place, no matter how fast I have to run.

I look down at my attire, I can’t run out in the damn woods with these pajamas on. I stand from my spot on the ground, my hands rummaging through the clothes hanging on the rack, there’s got to be something simple I can take. A relieved sigh slips through my parted lips as I discover a pair of jet black leggings – it’s simple, it will work for the time being. After a short time of searching, I find a plain pink, it was a tad longer than a regular shirt though.

I toss my bag on the bed and start to rip the clothes off my body. The soft cotton pants are now around my ankles, and the white shirt is flying in the air – destined for the floor. I was clothed now only in a bra and underwear – from the first day I was here, I left my bra on all day long – even through the night – because I kept getting surprise visitors. And plus I was a little self-conscious and scared about something happening to me.

However,now I can safely say that none of these people are willing to come in here and touch me in any private places – because if they wanted to, they would have already.

Quickly, I throw the shirt over my head and step into the pants. I adjust them on my hips and bend down. I slide my shoes onto my feet – I didn’t care about socks right now. I pull my hair out from the shirt and let a deep breathe in. The strap of my bag is soon on my shoulder and my hand is on the cold knob of the door. I glance down, the light is gone. They’re asleep, or at least hidden from me.

I haven’t even left the room yet and my heart is already twisting up. No, you can’t stop now. You’re dressed, you’re ready to run. Please, stop listening to your damn heart and just focus on your goal – getting the hell out of this place. I turn the knob, the familiar creaking of the door fills my ears, I’m sure I’ll miss that sound..

Run.. don’t stop. No matter who’s begging you to stop.. run as fast as you can.. this is Hell, Julianne. You don’t want to be here.

Notes

So my summer is just going so peachy .. My laptop charger literally caught on fire so for a while updates will be by phone ughhhh

Anyways IT IS COMING. guys I'm so ready to give you these next few chapters it's going to be wonderful

Feedback and thoughts on this! Updates asap

Comments

Oh my god, the new chapters are amazing! Thank you for updating :)

Harry02 Harry02
6/8/19

Awesome updates my love :) Can't wait to see what's to come. Keep up the great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller
5/16/19

Great new chapters! Can't wait to find out what's going to happen next :)

Harry02 Harry02
4/16/19

@brianna.smith
I totally understand!!! Mine are older but dealing with what I am with Matthew is such a struggle..

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
It’s a struggle lol xxxx

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19