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Beating Heart

s e v e n t e e n - screams.


There it goes again. Those strange noises upstairs constantly wake me up at night, and give me sudden near death heart attacks during the day. My eyes stare at up at the ceiling, everything shielded by darkness. A sigh escapes my lips, how many more days do I have to sit here and rot away?

I have lost track of the time, but I’m sure it’s been near two weeks since I first woke up in this damn room. Nothing much as happened, Niall and Perrie take turns checking in on me and every now and then I get a glimpse of Zayn or Gemma. But other than that, I’ve had no contact with the outside world, and by that I mean beyond this room.

My room has been upgraded a little, mostly thanks to Perrie’s suggestions and Niall’s doings. I have a few decorations on the wall, just odd pictures here and there. There’s now a small soft pink colored lamp on the nightstand. Also, Perrie has bought me a few extra blankets and pillows that have already came in handy during the cold nights.

A gulp slides down my throat as I hear a loud voice begin to scream above me – I’ve heard it at least five times since I’ve gotten here. I can’t really tell anything about the voice, all I know is that it’s a male and it’s very deep and loud. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to fight myself to go back to sleep – it’s very hard though.

Crash. I tighten my eyes as the loud, sudden sound erupts on the other side of the ceiling. I swear the walls are rattling and the floors are shaking. My heart is racing, what in the hell is going on above me? Another nervous gulp travels down my throat and I find myself clutching the blankets tight in my fists.

STOP!” I heard a familiar voice yell about me – Niall screaming at the top of his lungs. I let out a concerned sigh, I hope he’s okay wherever he is. All seriousness comes when I hear one final holler just a few feet above me. Whoever it is, well, let’s just say they want Niall to take a trip to Hell, and some more that I couldn’t make out clearly.

My heart nearly jumps out of my chest as the door swings open. I sit up out of instinct to see who it was, but this time it wasn’t Perrie or Louis, not even Zayn. I furrow my eyebrows as I see the silhouette of a little girl – the light behind her blinding me so bad that I can’t even make out any features she has.

I push myself back on the mattress, resting my back against the cold wooden headboard. She looks over her shoulders a few times in both directions, probably not even allowed to be in here. I gulp gently as she steps into the room and shuts the door. My heart is beating so face, I’m not sure if I can survive the next minute or two. Calm down, Julianne! It’s just a child!

Yeah, but I was a child once and I know the meddling things I used to do. Perhaps she’s just checking on me? I don’t know, just stop freaking out. Please just stop for once.

I hear a light click noise and all of a sudden the room is lit with the dim lamp light. I gasp as I see her staring at me, just inches from my body on the bed. She gives me a kind smile and holds her hand out to me, fingers pushed together and her body tensed up out of pure joy. Her smile is bright and big, her big blue eyes are widen as she stares at me.

“Hi, Julianne! I’m Sara!” She says with a giggle as she pushes her hand closer to me. I give her a small smile as I take her hand and shake it a few times. “Hi, Sara.” I say in a soft voice, not really in the mood to speak to anyone after what I’ve been hearing upstairs – it just distracts me from everything.

“Don’t worry, I’m not being bad. Ni told me to come check on you.” She says with a laugh and a playful eye roll. “Ni.. as in Niall?” I ask, feeling pretty stupid for asking that afterwards – duh, Julianne, who else? “Yeah! He’s my best friend.” Sara says with a smile, her hand releasing mine. My hand falls on the covers that cover my lap.

“He’s gonna be busy..” She sighs as she glances up towards the ceiling. “For a while.” She finishes her sentence as her eyes meet mine again. My stomach turns at the thought of what this little girl might have to go through every day. Whatever is up there can stay up there for all I care.

“Do you want to meet my doggy?” She asks me curiously, raising her thin eyebrows at me. “Sure.. I um, I didn’t know there was a dog here.” I say with a smile in return, Niall never mentioned any pets. She gives me a nod as she twirls around on her heels and faces the door. I watch her closely from behind, just curious about her I guess?

A whistling sounds fills the room and I suppose it’s her. It only took about three calls for her to summon the dog, because within seconds I could hear the sound of scurrying feet and panting. I throw my hand over my chest in sudden fright, I have never been so close to a dog of this breed before.

“Shit!” The world slips past my lips as the huge dog jumps on the bed and sits down near my feet, looking at Sara though. “Don’t worry!” Sara says with a laugh as she pets the dog on its side. “He’s a good boy. He can be mean, but only when we tell him to.” Her eyes skim over everything in the room as she speaks to me.

“What’s his name?” I ask as I keep my eyes on the dog, not sure if I can trust anyone or anything else. “Duke. He’s a Doberman. We have another dog, Jake. He’s a Rottweiler. And a cat, Rosie.. she’s shy though.” Sara begins to talk to me as if I’m one of her best friends from school. I smile to myself as I watch her make faces at the dog between sentences. “Jake doesn’t come down much.. just when he’s hungry. He stays with Ha-”

“Sara! God, there you are!” Niall runs into the room with a relieved facial expression. He lets out a sigh as he steps over to the end of the bed where she stands with the dog. “Why are you in here?” He asks her, furrowing his eyebrows to show that he’s serious.

She gives me a glimpse before turning to fully face him. “Ni, please don’t be mad! I just wanted to meet Julianne! She’s so pretty and I just wanna talk to her! And so does Duke. Isn’t that right Duke?” Sara confesses her desires before giving the dog a don’t you agree? look.

Niall’s eyes meet mine for a few seconds before he gives me an apologetic smile. But really it wasn’t need, Sara’s presence scared me a little bit because she came from out of nowhere – but she’s not bothering me at all.

“It’s four in the morning. You should be in bed, princess. I’m tired of getting up and finding you awake this early.” Niall says with a scolding look, not too pleased by the situation. Sara stops her feet a few times, balling her fists up by her sides. “It’s not my fault he’s so stupid!” She yells at him. Niall grabs her wrist harshly and yanks her closer, leaning down so they’re just inches apart from each other.

“This is no one’s fault but yours. Now take Duke and go to your room, and go to bed. I’m not kidding this time.” Niall snaps, his eyes dark and his lips in a straight line as he awaits her reply. “Okay.. I’m sorry Ni. I love you.” She mumbles out with a sigh as he releases her arm.

“I love you too, babe. Bed. Now.” He demands, his index finger pointing towards the door. Julianne turns quickly and waves a goodbye to me. I return the motion followed by a gentle half smile before she storms out of the room, the dog following her tracks.

Niall slams the door behind him and leans his forehead against the wood. He sighs heavily before getting off the wall and walking towards me. “I’m sorry she bothered you, she just gets hyper sometimes.” He informs as he sits on the edge of the bed, shifting so he can look at me while he speaks.

“There’s no telling what kind of crazy shit she told you.” Niall rolls his eyes at the thought. “She’s fine.. Niall. Her company.. was nice.” I shrug lightly, not sure why he’s so worried about her. “I just don’t want her to be coming in here and messing with you all the time now.” He admits with a huff. “She’s alright.. besides, I need someone to talk to every now and then.” I mumble out, knowing he heard every word.

“Get some sleep, love. I think Perrie’s thinking of showing you the garden at noon. It’s something she’s proud of I guess.” He gives me a smile before he places his lips against my forehead like he does every night when he wishes me sweet dreams and a well rest. I swallow gently, leaving this room for the first time (going to the bathroom doesn’t really count because it’s just across the hallway) might do me some good. I need sunlight.

Niall turns off the lamp and heads towards the open door, the light revealing just a small section of the hallway to my eyes as usual, nothing much. He shuts the door, the room becoming full of the darkness again. For the past few days it hasn’t really taken my eyes long to get used to the sudden blackness in the room.

I listen closely as I hear Niall’s voice outside of the door, followed by retorts coming from Sara. I smile gently, they must really be close. I let out yet another sigh as I sit after hearing Niall’s footsteps go away from the door. I turn the lamp back on and throw the cover off of my body.

Why waste time in bed when I can’t sleep? My feet hit the cold ground and I shiver as I hurry over to the closet. I pull back the curtain and use the little amount of light from the lamp to search for my backpack. I find it quickly and grab it. I lean against the wall adjacent to the one the door is on. I fall to my butt, bringing my knees up as I sit the bag against my thighs.

I reach inside and grab my journal, it’s been a few days since I’ve added anything to it. I take a deep breath as I pull it out. I sit the back down after grabbing a pen from the pocket inside. The book is a tad dusty from being in that closet. I let out a calming breath as I open the journal.

As I press the tip of the fine point pen against the paper, the words begin to flow and my hand starts to race with my head.

Not sure of the day, nor the time. It’s quiet for now, I suppose. The noises upstairs haven’t stopped, only gotten worse as the days go by. Or the hours? Not sure on time at all..

I met Sara today, just a few minutes ago. She’s a happy, youthful soul – long brown hair that’s highlighted naturally in certain places. Her eyes are big and blue, and her smile is contagious and bright. She told me about members of her family: the dogs, Duke and Jake – Both very large breeds as I was told.

Niall informed me that Perrie will be taking me out of this damn room! Thank God, finally some fresh air after days going without any sunlight at all. I wonder if I can even handle it? I haven’t seen Perrie in a while, maybe two days? Still not certain on the time.

All I know is that it’s early in the morning hours and everyone needs to be asleep, or that’s at least what Niall said. I trust him, so I greatly believe it’s early morning.

Yet another letter to you. I know you won’t physically receive it, but I know you’re watching me write it. Sometimes I’m not strong enough to speak out loud to you. I miss you.. I wish I could be with you, or you could be with me. Either way I’d be pretty happy. It hurts not having you here, but I learn to accept the pain and be strong, just like you would want.

Things have been odd for me lately, I’m not really sure where I’m at or how far from home I am. Home.. I plan to one day go back and gather our stuff, but right now I’m being taken care of by several wonderful people, a few sour ones thrown in the mix though.

Something is upstairs above me, however, that’s making this all so creepy. I have no clue what goes on above me, but all I know is that it’s crazy and wild up there. Screaming, yelling, crashing, slamming.. sort of reminds me of home. Crazy, right? Of course this would happen to me… I run away from my hell just to trapped in someone else’s.

I love you.. hope I have a good dream whenever I decide to go to bed. I’ll see you soon, Mom.

Love, - Julianne xx


//sorry for any errors guys.. I barely had the strength to post this.. relationship problems..

•promo stuff linked in summary•

..feedback please?..


I love it

@Allie Miller @Harry02
super sorry about just now replying to you guys! thank you for the love. I hope you like the new update ;)

brianna.smith brianna.smith

Oh my god, the new chapters are amazing! Thank you for updating :)

Harry02 Harry02

Awesome updates my love :) Can't wait to see what's to come. Keep up the great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller

Great new chapters! Can't wait to find out what's going to happen next :)

Harry02 Harry02