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Beating Heart

s i x t e e n - nightmares.

//your nightmares follow you like a shadow.. forever//


My eyes slowly open at a sudden feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’m almost one hundred, no one thousand percent certain that I heard the door open. I gulp gently – perhaps it’s just Niall or Perrie checking on me. Yeah, that’s very reasonable Julianne and makes plenty of sense, no need to freak out about that little sound. Calm down and relax, everything’s okay.

My eyes dart towards the window, but within seconds I’m reminded that I have no way of knowing what time of day it is. I lean up on the mattress, pressing a hand into it to hold up my weight. I look at the space between the door and floor. There aren’t any lights on, they’re probably all asleep and that must mean it’s still too early in the morning hours to be up.

I sigh lightly as I fall back on the bed, my back relaxing against the mattress. It’s freezing in here, and the covers are starting to not be much of a help. I turn on my side, my shoulder not bothering me much anymore. I stare towards the closet, I can’t see anything so it doesn’t really count as staring I assume?

Suddenly a shudder runs through my body – I highly feel like there’s something in here with me. Stop, Julianne that’s just too silly now. No, I’m serious. I release a shaky breath – what if it’s that Liam guy? Just stop over reacting, it’s nothing at all.

There’s no one or nothing in here. I’m only tired right now and I’m just thinking this stuff in my head.

“Look at all the beautiful flowers.” I imagine my mother say as we step into the small field filled with wildflowers. I smile gently as I lean down and press my nose into one of the pretty yellow flowers, just like I would if she were here. “Smells like honey.” I whisper to myself as I stand back up, my eyes looking all over the field.

“Spring time is so wonderful. Everything coming to life.” Mom’s voice returns to my head as I picture her taking my hand to keep me beside her as we sit down. She didn’t like for me to get too far away from her, anything could happen out here – anything. I used to be so confused on why she done that, but one day I realized why.

I miss a lot, it’s been two years and things aren’t getting much better. School is okay, I don’t have many friends but I know Mom told me that you don’t need too many friends, just one or two good ones. I sigh as I pick a flower from it’s thin stem and bring it to my nose.

Honestly I can’t describe the scent, but I know my mother had a bottle of perfume that smelt just like this. Every time I pick of these pink flowers.. I can smell her again. Every time I come to this field full of colorful flowers, I can hear her voice in my head.

Spring time isn’t as wonderful as it used to be – sadly, not everything comes back to live during this time of the year.


A sigh leaves my mouth as I walk past that door that Julianne is locked behind. I wish I could let her out and just let her be free – but unfortunately I can’t do that any time soon it seems. A swallow my unspoken words as I reached the kitchen – I keep trying to get her presence out of my mind but like the rest of us, I know she’s there and there’s nothing I can do to help her out.

As I enter the kitchen, I see Liam at the counter near the coffee maker. Perrie’s sitting at the table and her eyes are wide as she stares at her cup of tea – she doesn’t like coffee and her morning routine is always warm tea. “G’morning.” I mumble as I sit down at the table across from her. Her eyes dart up to mine and I can hear her gulp gently.

I furrow my eyebrows lightly, not really sure what’s going on with her. “What’s wrong?” I ask in a soft whisper, my eyes glancing over to Liam across the room – I’m sure he doesn’t care to hear what we talk about. He’s not very social at all. Right when Perrie parts her lips to speak to me, Liam coughs a few times.

She looks over her shoulder in his direction for a few seconds before looking back at me. I give her a shrug of my shoulders, trying to get her see that I clearly am lost and have no idea what’s going on. Just when I thought I was going to get nowhere with this issue of not understanding anything at the moment, Perrie gestures her index finger to her neck.

I lift an eyebrow, still confused a little. Is she sick? Lost her voice again? Perrie lets out a huff and nods her head in Liam’s direction. It clicks for me – something about Liam’s neck or his voice? Perhaps he’s sick then, after that nasty cough I believe he really is sick.

“What time are you goin’ out today?” I ask Perrie, moving on from this confusing silent conversation. She clears her throat and takes in a deep breathe. “I’m not going out today, I went last night. Zayn’s leaving about six this evening, though.” She tells me – we begin to talk like we normally do every day, just casual. However, despite this, I still feel like something’s wrong with her.

“Liam are you, uh, going out today?” I bluntly ask aloud. Perrie’s face grows pale and her eyes stay glued to mine. I give her a confused expression. Perrie bites her bottom lip and lightly shakes her head from side to side, as if what I’ve asked was a damn sin or something horrible like that. I give her an eye roll before looking over at Liam.

He coughs lightly again before speaking to me, “No.” He simply says as he turns on his heel. His eyes meet mine and I swallow the lump quickly forming in my throat. He has huge dark circles, in addition to bags, under his eyes. But the left side of his face looks swollen and slightly black, and the right is covered in small cuts and bruises. My eyes trail down to his neck where I see a large number of discoloration on his skin – dark blue, almost black, marks. My curiousness begins to grow more as I see more scraps and cuts on his arms and a few on his face.

He should’ve known that was going to happen..

* * *


I take in a deep breath as I open the door and step into her room. Her eyes shoot to me and she gives me a gentle smile. “Good morning.” I say as I shut the door. Julianne only gives me a smile again, but I don’t blame her – after last night I’m sure anyone would be a little hesitant and confused. I begin the short walk to the side of the bed, her eyes are no longer on me just glued to her lap.

I pull the neck of her shirt over her shoulder so I could see how the bruise is looking. I gulp gently as I see it’s heavily pigmented now – purple and blue dots on top of the dark grey. Her pale skin is too fragile, and the hard impact last night left her with this horrible thing.

“It.. doesn’t hurt.” She mumbles lightly as I fix her shirt back to the way it’s meant to be. “That’s good.” I say as I step back some, so I could see her. “Well I came to apologize, love, on behalf of all of us here. We.. we aren’t blaming you for anything. And we all understand you needed to use the bathroom. As long as you’re okay.. then we’re okay.” I tell her with a gentle tone, not wanting to sound too happy today I guess.

“It’s.. it’s oh-okay. Things ha-” My heart jumps out of my chest as I hear a loud crashing sound right about us. I gulp gently, why do things always have to be so fucked up around here? I gulp gently, trying to act as normal as I can. But just as I was about to continue the conversation, another loud sound occurs – but this time it doesn’t sound like glass, but more like something being pushed or thrown around – something heavy.

I roll my eyes lightly at the thought of what’s going on up there – there is honestly no damn telling anymore. My smile returns as I gesture for Julianne to lie back on the mattress. She does as I ask, her eyes wide and sticking to the ceiling. “You need a few more hours of rest, honey. I’ll be back later on. And.. about that.” I stop myself as I glance up to the dusty, off white color ceiling. “Just ignore it.” I sigh out as I pull the covers up to her shoulders, it’s pretty cold in here.

“Sweet dreams.” I give her one last smile before walking over to the light switch and turning the lights off. She needs to rest as much as she can – the worst hasn’t even came yet. Sweet dreams? Are you kidding me? Not in this house.

Just nightmares.


••sorry guys for the delay // personal stuff and family stuff going on but back to regular posting soon! Summer is almost here, yay!!

Anywhoooo.. More updates to come soon! Hopefully a few times this week! ♥ SOMETHING big is coming for you guys (in the story but i'm GIVING YOU SOMETHING wondrous.. you'll see soon!!) Much love, FEEDBACK PLEASE! ♥


I love it

@Allie Miller @Harry02
super sorry about just now replying to you guys! thank you for the love. I hope you like the new update ;)

brianna.smith brianna.smith

Oh my god, the new chapters are amazing! Thank you for updating :)

Harry02 Harry02

Awesome updates my love :) Can't wait to see what's to come. Keep up the great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller

Great new chapters! Can't wait to find out what's going to happen next :)

Harry02 Harry02