Harry's POV

I looked out of the car window as the familiar buildings passed. My body was exhausted and my eyes were sore of the crying. I felt like the gravity was pulling me down and I couldn't move. A part of me was missing.

I couldn't believe it until I'd saw her. It was Monday morning in London and I had called Brianna millions of times but she always told me Alison was sleeping. I really wanted to talk to her but now when I was actually going to see her I hesitated. I didn't know what to say. Was this even real? It felt like I was watching someone else's life from afar.

The driver pulled in the pavement next to her flat. I stared at it like if it was something dangerous. "Hey are you gonna pay or what?" the driver asked impatient as I didn't move an inch. "Uh yeah," I said and grabbed my wallet from my pocket. I probably gave him too much notes but I couldn't really concentrate on anything.

Once the driver had given me my bags from the back and speeded off I stood on the pavement for several minutes. What if she didn't want to see me at all? I felt so guilty for not being here when she needed me the most. I just should've stayed with her.

But I guessed thinking about the past days wouldn't help now so I took a deep breath and made my way towards the building entrance. I swore when I tried to squueze in the small lift with my two bags but finally managed to get in her floor.

I played with the key to hers and stared at the front door for a while before I decided it was better if I just knocked. So I knocked three times but thought she hadn't heard so I knocked again louder. The door opened and I was met with Brianna's shocked expression.

"Harry," she gasped loudly and her hand flew to her mouth to cover it as if she didn't mean to say it. She looked really confused but stepped out of my way so I'd get in with my luggage.

"How did you managed to get here so quickly?" she asked then almost whispering. I peeked around the house and saw the bedroom door was closed so I take it she was asleep. "I took the first flight I could get," I said flatly and ignored her as I headed in the kitchen. My throat felt dry so the first thing I needed to do was to get some water.

"So she's sleeping?" I asked quietly and Brianna nodded as she had followed me in the kitchen. I looked at her properly for the first time and I had never seen her looking so small.

"But I think she might be awake so you should go there...I'm gonna head off now so you can have some peace," she said avoiding my eye contact. "I just... gather my... stuff," she stuttered disappearing in the living room. After a while I heard her closing the front door and then the house was quiet.

I opened the bedroom door and saw her under the pile of blankets her eyes closed. "Alison?" I called her whispering. She fluttered her eyes open slowly and then found my gaze. Her eyes looked in so much pain and I wanted to hug her and never let go. But I guessed she wouldn't feel the same.

I took a step closer and she sat up on the bed. "Is it true?" I asked gently trying to hold back the tears 'cause I knew the answer already. She just looked at me for what felt like ages before nodding and looking at her hands. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I needed to be strong for her.

I walked carefully closer and sat next to her. "I'm so sorry," I breathed out but she didn't say anything so I thought I should continue. "You must think I'm a proper idiot. I'm so sorry I wasn't there I could've done something..." I started but she moved her eyes to look at me and something in her expression made me stop talking.

"You couldn't have done anything," she said coldly. "No! I should've been here it's all my fault," I said and now the tears streamed down my face. I took her hand in mine and she stared at it but didn't pull her hand away. "It's no one's fault. These things happen, Harry," she whispered.

"These things don't just happen. There must be some reason," I meant to say it gently but it came out a little harsh. "But there isn't a particular reason. We're way too young still and it just wasn't the time," she said. How she could be so calm? When I wanted the scream she just sat there.

"But we wanted it," I said getting a little frustrated with her.

"It wouldn't have worked even."

"What? We would've made it work no matter what," I said narrowing my eyes. I took my hand away from hers. I didn't like where this was going.

She let out a shaky breath before opening her mouth to say something. "Harry, can't you see it," she started and looked me into eyes with so much pain. "You're a famous popstar and traveling around the world all the time. It just couldn't have worked. Maybe it was for the best," her words made me furious.

"So you're saying that it's a good thing we lost a baby? How can you say that!" my voice got high pitched and I couldn't control the tears anymore. "No! I wanted it as much as you did but all I'm saying it wouldn't have worked."

"I would've done anything... even quit with the band if that's what it would've needed! I don't care as long as I'm with you," I yelled at her now getting of the bed and pacing around the room. I pulled my hair out so much it hurted and then looked at her as she didn't respond to me. She just sat there on the same spot and stared at me but now she was also crying hard.

"Oh god! I'm so sorry for yelling," I couldn't watch her so hurted by me. I got on my kneels on the bed and wiped her cheeks with my thumbs. "We're going to get through this," I promised her and looked her deep in the eyes but it just made her cry harder. I placed my arms around her and hugged her tight as she clung to my shirt. We sat there what felt like forever as I hushed and swayed her back and forth.

She leaned backwards when she had calmed down but I kept my hands on her arms petting her skin. "I should never have told you about the pregnancy as all I've done is to hurt you," she whispered so quietly I could hardly hear her voice. "Of course you needed to tell me."

"Hey..." I said and raised her chin with my finger so she could look at me. "I'm here now. We're in this together and one day we'll get through this," I said firmly but gulped then 'cause I had no idea how to survive from this. But one thing I was sure about I wasn't going to leave her alone no matter what.

She lingered her eyes at me for a while before turning her head towards the window. "I just need some time to think," she told me quietly. I squeezed her hand before standing up and exiting the room. I knew she didn't want to sleep next to me now so I curled up on the coach and dozed right away.

Notes